The Student's Psalm - The Excel Program

The Student’s PsalmThe Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not flunk;He keepeth me from lying down when I should bestudying.He leadeth me beside the water cooler for a studybreak;He restoreth my faith in study guides.He leads me to better study habitsFor my grades’ sake.Yea, tho’ I walk through the valley of borderlinegradesI will not have a nervous breakdown,For Thou art with me;My prayers and my friends, they comfort me.Thou givest me the answers in moments ofblankness;Thou anointest my head with understanding;My test paper runneth over with questions Irecognize.Surely passing grades and flying colors shall followmeAll the days of examinations;And I shall not have to dwell in school forever!

WHAT IS A TEACHER?What is a teacher? A teacher is many things… She’s knowledge with a smile on her face…Democracy with a book in her hand… Wisdom with a flick of white chalk dust on her left eyelid.She comes in all sizes and temperaments… Short, tall, skinny, plump… Laughing, serious,happy and sad.She’s the future of the nation… Love with a college education.In her everyday work week, she’s expected to be: Diplomat, philosopher, politician, fightreferee, pediatrician, policewoman, practical nurse--and quiz program conductor.She’s a psychiatrist without a couch… Politician without a promise… Baby-sitter without theright to raid the refrigerator.She makes more money than a dishwasher… Or a ditch digger. She makes less money that awoman wrestler… Or the woman blackjack dealers in Nevada.Her days are filled with school bells… Young chatter… Chalk dust… Waving hands…Questions… and worried parents.She spends four years in college, studying hard, in order to learn all there is to know aboutreading, writing and arithmetic, not to mention science, biology, history and music. A teacherhas to be an authority on… Baseball… Grasshoppers… Snakes… Young love… and how to livethree months of the year without a paycheck!While grateful parents spend their evenings watching television, attending cocktail parties,complaining about the high cost of the school system, teachers spend their evenings correctingexamination papers. Teachers can be found after school… Taking aspirin, picking up spitballs,washing chalkboards/cleaning whiteboards, rehearsing plays… and just sitting at a desk waitingfor the strength to get home.Teachers are expected to: Go to church… Keep out of debt… Have creative minds (but notdisagree with the school board)… Stay away from alcohol and gambling… and give willingly tothe United Way.From her classroom will come the doctors of tomorrow, the astronauts who will go into outerspace, the great artists and novelists of the year 2020… The corporate CEOs and all the leadersAmerica will need to survive in a puzzled world.She’s the future of the world with a ruler in her hand… Progress with a pencil in back of her ear.She dispenses magic… Sells futures… Dreams are her stock in trade.Underpaid, unappreciated at times, harried and overworked, she gains her pay in secretsatisfaction.Secretly, she will admit, “I have the greatest job of all…”And she has…Because she holds the history of the world in her hand…She’s a teacher!(Reference unknown)