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IGNORE VISITORSAT YOUR PERIL!By Philip J Harris, of HarewoodLodge No 5667“VISITING is the backbone of Masonry!”How many times have we heard this? Itremains true and very important. But asfamiliar as we are with visiting there aretimes when visitors can experience anegative and discouraging experience.Recently, I have had some very poorexperiences and I have now become veryselective of where and who I visit. I ensureI have a guest at every meeting to my ownrooms, but, sadly, do not want reciprocatedue to poor experiences.To my surprise poor visiting experienceis not uncommon. So, this article is writtenin the spirit of “Do unto others as youwould have them do unto you.” Weignore visitors at our peril. Some maysay there is not a problem but go and visita Masonic Hall and a Lodge you havenever been to before and compare theexperience with your own performance atentertaining. Ask what you would dobetter and what have you learnt, goodand bad, from the experience.Our visitors fall into at least threecategories, private guest, Lodge guestand official guest.The following suggestions shouldovercome problems and not leave thevisitor at a loss for company, welcomeand satisfaction.The Provincial Representative for anInstallation or for some special meetingpre arranged with the Lodge, are officialguests. Lodge guests are those who arefraternal visitors or those who may beinvited because of their status in a relatedLodge, such as the master of the MotherLodge.Finally, there are the private members’guests. We are all familiar with these andto a greater or lesser extent they are aregular feature of our Freemasonry. Ournumbers swollen by visitors make for avery enjoyable time. Visitors for whateverreason remain VIPs and should beregarded as such all evening!I hope the following points will givesome encouragement to those who arehost and companion to guests and Isuggest guidance on basic hospitalityand standards that should come assecond nature to Masonic Brethren.WelcomeIt would be good practice to have aReceptor at the door and someone to actas host during the evening to fraternal orofficial guest. Designate a steward ordeacon to this role. If a visitor is new to theLodge or building, they can be givendirections. A regular visitor should still begreeted and asked if there is anythingthey needed or wanted to know. Thissimple courtesy will ensure a warm startto the evening.A visitor may like to know where to leavehis regalia, where the rest room is orwhether or not his host has arrived. Thefirst impression counts, gives credit toyour Lodge and its members and ensureyour visitor will be content to come again.The Lodge roomA guest unfamiliar with local practicemay not be comfortable entering anunfamiliar Lodge room. Always ensurevisitors are taken into the Lodge room andseated unless this is declined. Again, thisis a good role for a steward or deacon. Itis good practice to seat visitors togetherwhere possible and ensure hymn sheets,summonses etc. are provided.Pre diningIt would be good practice to ask beforethe ceremony what drinks a guest wouldlike before dining. Also, by arrangementwith the steward, perhaps these could beready as soon as the official guest entersthe bar. Always ensure visitors’ seats aremarked and there are sufficient for thoseattending. Visitors should be seated firstwith their host and any adjustments madequietly and willingly were seats have to bemoved.DiningA Grand Officer turned to me at afestive board and commented howstandards had dropped since he wasInitiated in the early post war years. “Weshould get back to the standards of theSergeants Mess,” he proclaimed withsome passion. Here is a snapshot ofpoints he raised that may make my hostapprove if taken on board.Tables - It is good practice to lay tablesappropriately and if possible somedecoration makes a difference. Ideally,proper table linen is a good thing.Napkins, too, are essential..Settings - Places should be reserved toensure there is no panic or lack of placesfor those dining. Local procedures applyand should ensure there is no last minutepanic or embarrassment if someone is leftout or has to sit apart from his host orLodge colleagues.Behaviour – drunkenness is neveracceptable; wine should be taken not spilton the table, down shirts, or oversomeone’s food. All glasses when emptyshould be removed and space providedfor the waitresses / stewards to placeservers.Eat at a steady pace. If you are lookingafter the bar or waiting on, membersshould appreciate your meal is importantand show patience. Do not rush andsprint to the speeches. Remember youare part of a formal meal andconversation is part of this exercise..Do not overload your plate at theexpense of other people’s meals.Remember that others have to share thefood. I believe we have all tried to catchthe potatoes before the member with theappetite of a Rhino!Don’t ignore a guest’s empty glass. Asa guest do not stretch your host’s budget!Post diningAn after dinner drink may be pleasantbut remember you are still in Lodgerooms and the rules of conversation stillapply. It is not good practice to movearound empting tables finishing left overwine and it is not acceptable to wait forothers to buy your drinks.Thank the visitorExpect to be thanked by a visitor for theinvitation but very importantly the hostshould thank the visitor(s) for attendingand the enjoyment of the company.Ensure that if they responded to anyspeech, thank them again.Do not look for them to contributeheavily to a raffle as they may not bewealthy Do not expect a reciprocalinvitation but ensure you at least promiseto extend the invitation once more. Ifthere are any problems reported to you donot brush them off or ignore suchfeedback.It is hoped that your Masonic visiting willincrease and be of greater enjoyment toeveryone. Encouraging visiting isessential, a wider circle of friendsdesirable and above all our Order shouldshow its differential from other fraternitiesin that it exceeds expectations.37