92The halls <strong>of</strong> Montgomery County High <strong>School</strong> areclean, almost spotless, with the kind <strong>of</strong> sterile sparkle thatreminds you <strong>of</strong> a hospital or a mental institution. It’s notthe most inviting aura, which is fitting, I guess, because it’snot the most inviting place. For me, at least. The lazy days<strong>of</strong> summer are long gone, and fall is upon us—school hasbeen in session for nearly two months. Cotton cobwebs andplastic skeletons decorate the lines <strong>of</strong> lockers, in preparationfor Halloween.“…And so I went down, I mean I went down toPearl’s, you know the art supply store across from theStarbucks? And I ask the guy who works the cash register—his name is Sean—if they have any pale olive paint, which Ithink is going to be the perfect color for Mother’s face, youknow. But he says—but Sean says that they don’t have anypale olive. But they do have frosted lime, he tells me. Canyou believe it?”“No,” says Tasha, the girl I love. I can’t tell if I’mboring her or not. She brushes her hair—which is maybea dark saddle brown—behind her ear. I try not to cry. “Sowhat are you gonna do?”“I dunno. Maybe I can order it online or something.But it’ll take ages to get here. I mean ages. I can’t just goand use frosted lime, though, you know? It’s all wrong.Mother was a Mediterranean woman, and the only color thatcaptures that glow, you know that certain glow, is pale olive.So I guess I’ll just have to wait.”MATT MARK PUTTERMAN“I’m sorry, Matt. I know you’ve been trying to finishthat portrait for months, ever since…well, for a long timenow.” She places her hand lightly on my shoulder. I melt,trickle down into a puddle <strong>of</strong> flesh in my <strong>New</strong> Balancesneakers. Somewhere far <strong>of</strong>f, the shrill cry <strong>of</strong> the passingbell sounds. Suddenly I’m human again, muscles and bonesand desires and inhibitions, the whole shebang. By nowthe halls are swarming with all sorts <strong>of</strong> strange teenagecreatures, buzzing and blowing about like giant, gangly
insects.“Shoot. I’ve gotta go. I’m late for class…Will you be okay?”“Yes. I mean yeah, I’ll be fine.” I tug on the drawstrings <strong>of</strong> mygreen-gray sweatshirt. “I’ll be fine. I’m going home. I’ve got a—I’ve got alot <strong>of</strong> work to do anyway.”“Homework?”“No, no. I mean no. Painting. I did manage to get stars foreverblue, you know, for her eyes. I’ve gotta work on her eyes.”“Oh. Okay. Bye Matt. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiles andturns to go.“Oh…g’bye.” I stand and watch her go. She’s wearing a tealsweater, blue jeans and a pair <strong>of</strong> Converse sneakers. She looks like amillion dollars, I think. Not that I’ve ever seen a million dollars—it’s justan expression. Her hair bobs up and down as she makes her way downthe hall, clutching a stack <strong>of</strong> books close to her chest. She turns into herclassroom; I dash to my locker, grab my old Razor Scooter, and make forhome.93This is the part <strong>of</strong> the story where I tell you I have Asperger’s.That’s what Gus says, anyway. I wasn’t going to mention it; I didn’t wantto mention it. Because I knew that once I did, I wouldn’t be just Mattanymore. I’d be Matt, the poor, misunderstood retarded boy, or Matt,the “very special young man.” I know. But I just want to be Matt. I meanI just want to be Matt.It’s not that I’m ashamed to be an Aspie—not at all. I might notbe “normal” like the kids at school, but who wants to be normal? It’sjust I don’t like being treated differently, like I’m stupid or like I needto be coddled. I don’t like it when people talk to me like I’m a child, orpretend I don’t exist. I do exist. I guess I just have a tendency to makesome people uncomfortable. In truth, I’m really not that different frommost people, I like the same things as your average 15-year-old guy: art,books, girls, video games, music. But people hear the way I talk—mydeliberate, sometimes spacey cadences; the way I sometimes repeatmyself; how I can get unexpectedly overemotional—and they thinkthere’s something wrong with me. I guess maybe there is somethingwrong with me; people just don’t understand me. It makes sense, Iguess—I don’t understand them either.Gus says that it’s good for me to get my emotions out, butin constructive ways. I’m not sure exactly what that means, though.
- Page 5:
ill kemmler space5
- Page 8 and 9:
8 we came to know. They quivered th
- Page 10 and 11:
10emily pederson untitled
- Page 12 and 13:
chelsea bryn WIRED
- Page 14 and 15:
14 All my best,Glen Clarkson,Assist
- Page 16 and 17:
16 speak, and the gray woman cast a
- Page 18:
18 my chest into my stomach, and I
- Page 22 and 23:
22 think, I sat across from the kit
- Page 24 and 25:
LISA DOMINGUEZ Wan Chai, Hong Kong
- Page 26 and 27:
26 your map of birthmarks.The faces
- Page 28 and 29:
28After Marta Luisa was murdered in
- Page 30 and 31:
30 enough for them to come out to t
- Page 32 and 33:
32 “Is that the real work your bo
- Page 34 and 35:
34 When Irene glared at him the ski
- Page 36 and 37:
36JADE FUSCO DAD
- Page 38 and 39:
38 that your bonesare actually made
- Page 40 and 41:
40Right in the middle of things, hi
- Page 42 and 43: 42 and mind. I was possessed for se
- Page 44 and 45: 44 Breslauer was a professor of Ame
- Page 46 and 47: 46 another snake this way, stuck, b
- Page 48 and 49: 48 thought it was funny and sad. An
- Page 50 and 51: SARAH SCHNEIDER STEREO HEAD
- Page 52 and 53: 52 so this last daughter can cross
- Page 54 and 55: 54It wasn’t a warm day; grey, and
- Page 56 and 57: 56 some work, I even convinced her
- Page 58 and 59: 58 back home I noticed that they we
- Page 60 and 61: 60fluctuations katja krishokI make
- Page 62 and 63: 62Mrs. Wagner and her son Ben liked
- Page 64 and 65: 64 of childrearing has denied them.
- Page 66 and 67: 66 member and his wife. Mrs. Steven
- Page 68 and 69: 68 something—her cell phone, perh
- Page 70 and 71: 70 there is a shadow now on the tab
- Page 72 and 73: 72 his brother to wait through the
- Page 74 and 75: 74 “Oh, there,” Mrs. Wagner say
- Page 76 and 77: 76 bent, like the waterlogged face
- Page 78 and 79: 78west coast gina hongA Hispanic ma
- Page 80 and 81: RACHEL WEBB STILL
- Page 82 and 83: 82 name, he said. He reveled in his
- Page 84 and 85: 84 I undress him and put him in the
- Page 87 and 88: off him onto the wood floor like st
- Page 89 and 90: For Danny89what the sparrow said ma
- Page 91: MATTHEW MORROCCO MOIST
- Page 95 and 96: “Okay, I guess. I mean it could b
- Page 97 and 98: disconcerted.”“Good. That’s v
- Page 99 and 100: “Yeah. I did her eyes today. I me
- Page 101 and 102: open mouth. As the pressure in my l
- Page 103 and 104: RILEY O’NEILL Hill in Desert
- Page 105 and 106: RACHEL WEBB SEARCHING
- Page 107 and 108: a cart down the street. A nun reads
- Page 109 and 110: says.They reach a lonely bench. The
- Page 111 and 112: impressionist gina hong111The only
- Page 113 and 114: 113conversationsTaylor antrimlise f
- Page 115 and 116: Anna Duensing: Can you give us a ge
- Page 117 and 118: you have dinner with every night.Bu
- Page 119 and 120: of like if you decide to go to ther
- Page 121 and 122: Anna Duensing: One thing that seems
- Page 123 and 124: are as humans.Anna Duensing: What i
- Page 125 and 126: Professor Jaime Arredondo and I sat
- Page 127 and 128: Caroline Owen: How do you feel abou
- Page 129 and 130: vision. Would you tell me more abou
- Page 131 and 132: Jade Fusco is a Junior at Gallatin.