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gallatin review - Gallatin School of Individualized Study - New York ...

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insects.“Shoot. I’ve gotta go. I’m late for class…Will you be okay?”“Yes. I mean yeah, I’ll be fine.” I tug on the drawstrings <strong>of</strong> mygreen-gray sweatshirt. “I’ll be fine. I’m going home. I’ve got a—I’ve got alot <strong>of</strong> work to do anyway.”“Homework?”“No, no. I mean no. Painting. I did manage to get stars foreverblue, you know, for her eyes. I’ve gotta work on her eyes.”“Oh. Okay. Bye Matt. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She smiles andturns to go.“Oh…g’bye.” I stand and watch her go. She’s wearing a tealsweater, blue jeans and a pair <strong>of</strong> Converse sneakers. She looks like amillion dollars, I think. Not that I’ve ever seen a million dollars—it’s justan expression. Her hair bobs up and down as she makes her way downthe hall, clutching a stack <strong>of</strong> books close to her chest. She turns into herclassroom; I dash to my locker, grab my old Razor Scooter, and make forhome.93This is the part <strong>of</strong> the story where I tell you I have Asperger’s.That’s what Gus says, anyway. I wasn’t going to mention it; I didn’t wantto mention it. Because I knew that once I did, I wouldn’t be just Mattanymore. I’d be Matt, the poor, misunderstood retarded boy, or Matt,the “very special young man.” I know. But I just want to be Matt. I meanI just want to be Matt.It’s not that I’m ashamed to be an Aspie—not at all. I might notbe “normal” like the kids at school, but who wants to be normal? It’sjust I don’t like being treated differently, like I’m stupid or like I needto be coddled. I don’t like it when people talk to me like I’m a child, orpretend I don’t exist. I do exist. I guess I just have a tendency to makesome people uncomfortable. In truth, I’m really not that different frommost people, I like the same things as your average 15-year-old guy: art,books, girls, video games, music. But people hear the way I talk—mydeliberate, sometimes spacey cadences; the way I sometimes repeatmyself; how I can get unexpectedly overemotional—and they thinkthere’s something wrong with me. I guess maybe there is somethingwrong with me; people just don’t understand me. It makes sense, Iguess—I don’t understand them either.Gus says that it’s good for me to get my emotions out, butin constructive ways. I’m not sure exactly what that means, though.

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