Download Closing - Paul Janka

CLOSINGPart I: Catch Her, If You Can...I’m going to talk to you straight, one guy to another. This short manual on closing is graphic, it’sdirect, and it’s blunt. I won’t pull punches and I will not apologize. We’re here to talk about sex.The thing that makes sex a challenge for so many guys is this: they haven’t figured out how togain easy access to the female body. It’s that simple.But let’s back up a second. What is closing, anyhow? Thematically, the “close” is the actionmoment where a man breaks a woman. If done properly, it’s the moment she capitulates to hismale strength. You can number close a girl on the street. You can kiss close a girl in the club.You can fuck-close (disgusting term, in my opinion) a chick back at your place. All of thesecloses require two qualities, qualities that are the distillation of masculine behavior and attitude.Those qualities are: Clarity and Confidence. If you don’t possess them, no amount of filler,routines or logistical trickery is going to get you laid. You can try as hard as you’d like, butwithout a strong close, all these prospects - and all the hard work you’ve done to line them up -will go up in smoke. This short manual will give you the Clarity by explaining what to do andwhen to do it; Confidence will come from practice.Why Closing is ImportantMy e-book Janka Method will teach you how to create “windows” of opportunity, but tocapitalize on the moment, you must know how to pull the trigger. The reason one guy is able toconvert a hot girl into a “girlfriend” while another dude must settle for “just being friends” is thatthe former was a strong closer. There are a lot of technical details on closing, and I’ll get intothose in a minute, but it’s crucial you understand your role because failure to close is the numberone reason women don’t come back. I know from experience that I can impress a girl on a firstdate, I can be funny, make her comfortable, even spend money on her, but if I don’t get physicalshe’ll often fail to materialize for date #2. There’s something that happens when a man andwomen share a physical moment, even if it’s just a kiss. That simple connection provokessomething in her body and she feels compelled to see you again. I know this from thousands ofdates.In fact, I can be a lousy date in every regard - cheap, lazy, fail to make plans, unshaven anddressed like a slob - but if I can make the move and get in there, the girl often comes back. Itworks like this: a desirable woman has a screen - a block - and most men can’t get past it. Sheknows that, and though she may socialize with all types of men, she only really pays attention tothose who can break through the wall she’s erected. If you can get to her physically - access herbody, in the crudest terms - you will have accomplished what 90% of men have failed to do. Indoing so, you’ll have made an impression on her. Her thinking proceeds thus: “He was able to1

CLOSINGget in my pants, therefore he must be an alpha-male and therefore desirable as a mate.” Ithappens on such an unconscious, biological level that most women can’t explain it. That’s whyall the cosmetics - clothes, nice car, manners, fancy dinners - don’t matter much in the end. Theman who can maneuver to gain access turns out to be the one she chases.Why the Apartment is PivotalThe biggest problem in today’s dating scene is that the focus is all wrong. Dating, most peoplewill agree, is about a connection - which can lead to companionship, partnership and romance. Acommon denominator, of course, is sex. Which we all love! But, the problem is that the majorityof courtship occurs in non-sexual venues where escalation is difficult, if not impossible.That’s where Janka Method comes in - it will teach you the how and why of female attraction.As you’ll learn, making a physical connection quickly is imperative. Failure to do this results inthe “friend zone” and her feeling that she had a pleasant - as opposed to electric - time with you.It’s the rare guy who can keep a desirable girl’s interest without creating a physical spark,especially in the modern dating scene where there’s heavy competition. If you don’t make yourmark, there’s another guy - in many ways just like you - right nearby who can claim the sexyfemale. Physical contact releases something within a woman - not least of all romanceneurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine - that creating craving in her. A craving for you!Let’s start with the basics: it’s hard to escalate in public. I’ve done it - on benches, in the park, inthe back seat of taxicabs, on the beach - but it’s not ideal. You need the right type of girl, underthe right influences, at the right time. Aligning all these conditions is tricky. It’s a lot better tohave her undivided attention and the supporting role of a sexy bachelor pad.As you’ll see when I discuss some technical aspects of “closing” below, your apartment must bethe pivot point for all your dating. It’s the place you always want to end up and it’s the placewhere you want to spend a few dollars. Spend money on your game by fixing up your placenicely, not on feeding a string of girls at overpriced restaurants. Your apartment is the one placein the city (or suburbs) that you fully control. You know where everything is, you know how tomaximize its benefits: a view, a balcony, a nice stereo, a jacuzzi. Make it the centerpiece of yourdating strategy: your itinerary should start and end in your apartment. I’ll explain how to do thisin a bit, but for now I want you to re-conceptualize your apartment as Headquarters.And here’s another main reason the apartment is so crucial, and perhaps the number oneunderutilized asset in a guy’s arsenal: only in the privacy of an apartment, alone with the girl,can you really bring out your best game. Let me explain.Years ago, I started to realize that I wasn’t at my best on dinner dates. Turns out there are many2

CLOSINGreasons for this: I had to pay, which is depressing. I got full and tired. Eating, generally speaking,isn’t sexy. I had to do everything - feed myself, be charming and keep the conversation going,and in the end, pay for the whole thing! What a raw deal! But, there was another reason that“outside” dates were less than effective: I wasn’t circling for the kill. When an attractive girl issitting on my couch, giving me her full attention, I’m at my best. I know I’m under the lens, andso is she. I do my best work when the “kill” is palpable. I am charming, attentive, funny andhyper-alert to details. The music is perfect, the temperature is ideal. She’s sitting in the perfectspot. If she wants a drink, she’s got it. We’re alone. It’s now or never, and I know it. My bodyknows it. My brain knows it. My cock knows it.The imminent possibility of sex is a powerful motivator. It brings out my best performance, andit’ll bring out your best, too. That’s why “outside” dates are never as intense or the chemistry ismore diffuse. And forget about group “dates” or whatever they’re called. When there’s not thepossibility of immediate sex, the male is much more relaxed, distractible and error prone. It’sbiology.And here’s the kicker: the female body and mind will respond. She’ll recognize this incredibleintensity in you and will do one of two things: engage or flee. It’s that simple. And either way,you’re better off, having collected real information about her, rather than bullshit pleasantriesthat often emerge from public, group or social interactions.Of course, this must sound aggressive, and it even seems a bit extreme as I type it here, now.But, it’s the truth, and at the beginning I gave you my word I’d only tell you the truth, the stuffthat actually works. I’ve slept with well over 200 women, and this is a fundamental rule ofattraction. If you don’t create the conditions to allow for this type of sexual exchange, you’re notreally looking for a sexual partner - you’re looking for a friend.Grand Irony #1: You Can’t Mention The ApartmentIt’s entirely ludicrous that you can’t reference the apartment in the early stages, even though forthis thing to work you both have to end up in the apartment. It’s a female form of pacing thatthey want to strip (or more accurately American society wants to strip) any blatant reference tosex from the initial courtship, lest this thing expire in the fumes of lust.And because your object of desire can pull the plug at any time, you have to play by the rules(sort of!). So, don’t mention the apartment, but know that your game is all about getting her backto it ASAP.Here are two techniques that have been field-tested by me and other heavy-number guys…3

CLOSING1) The Swing ByHere you station yourself at the apartment with no intention of leaving. That’s the key. Choose abar or lounge in your hood and tell her you want to meet there at 9PM, for example. Fifteenminutes before 9 o’clock, text her: “Just getting ready. Swing by and grab me. We’ll head over toFlannigan’s together...”Hopefully, she responds, “Ok.” When she arrives, communicate - via text or a call - that you’renot quite ready, but tell her to, “Pop up while I finish getting ready.” This takes finesse andplenty of practice, and there will always be some that won’t come up. But, for those who do,you’ve got a good thing going. Have a drink poured and offer her something. And then,depending on her level of restlessness, persuade her to remain and enjoy the mood, the music,the drinks, the conversation - in essence, everything she hoped for on the date - while she chillsat your place. When it comes to getting physical, it’ll make your work much easier.2) Let’s BounceIf you do the lounge routine, you will need to transition to your place, which is always thehardest part - girls aren’t stupid. They know sexual math: private residence = access to myvagina.You have to get her back without raising any red flags, which is hard, especially with a desirablewoman who’s seen it all. If you have liquor on your side, or the heavy make-out has begun,you’re in luck. You don’t have much to do, just not fuck it up. But, for most dates, you’ll have totransition to your place smoothly.After your second drink at the bar, tell the girl you’re tired of this place and you have anothercute spot in mind. Hail a cab/walk/drive, if sober/bicycle (hey, you never know!) back to yourplace without disclosing where exactly you’re taking her. When you arrive, give her a kiss - ifyou can - and announce, “We’re here!”It helps to seed the idea a bit earlier, by mentioning something in the apartment that may intrigueher: a particular photo album, music track, yearbook, piece of art, etc. I know a guy who sells thefact that he has an indoor planetarium. Other things that work are a full-service, nicely appointedwet bar, DVD or spectacular view. Anything can work, and the function of the “prop” is really toallow the girl to lie to herself that she wants to see this thing at your place, rather than having toadmit to herself that she wants to be naughty. It’s an excuse to proceed. It allows her to justifyentering your place on the first date.This conversation happens entirely in her head, and it’s often subconscious.4

CLOSINGThe thing to notice about both examples - The Swing By and Let’s Bounce - is that you can’tovertly call out the apartment. Though she ends up inside in both scenarios, it’s has to happenwithout her admitting to herself, “Now, I am entering a guy’s apartment.”It must happen fluidly. And it depends on superb salesmanship.5

CLOSINGPart II: Once InsideLet’s get technical... After all, it comes down to the right moves, when you and the girl are alone.You can be sure she’s ready if she’s a) alone with you in a private place and b) the sun is down.That’s a tried-and-true rule.The Set-UpFirst off, you have to have a clean, comfortable and sexy pad. That means get your clothes offthe floor, dog-hair off the futon and toothpaste splatters (a big problem for me!) off the bathroomsink. It wouldn’t hurt to spin the toilet brush once around the bowl, either.MusicTo each his own. However, you do want a mood that’s sexy and relaxing. Some ideas: BillieHoliday, Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong do Gershwin, Lenny Kravitz. You have plenty tochoose from, just make sure it’s mellow and can function as soothing background music tosupport your game. Keep all the loud, jarring, metal rock for another time. Even rock n’ rollusually fails to set the right mood. Believe me, girls get naked to Billie like you wouldn’tbelieve... Come to think of it, any female vocalist may do - it’s suggestive and non-threatening.It’s best if you create a playlist that runs for over an hour, closer to two. That way, you can comein, hit “play” and just relax, forgetting about the music part of your set-up. Switching discs orany kind of interruption is not helpful, so plan accordingly. And here’s a fun little trick: a buddyof mine scales his playlist so that the music is upbeat and “fun” in the beginning - completelynon-sexual - and then slowly transitions to more suggestive, seductive music, such as bossa nova.By track seven, 45 minutes into his “date” the Brazilian music is pumping deep sexual rhythmsand dulcet female vocals into the living room!FurnitureYou need a workbench, pure and simple, a place where you can sit side-by-side with the girl andget the chemistry going. A couch can do this, but it’s often too long, so your move, sidling overto her, will be obvious. A loveseat works better, and it’s especially good if it’s the only place tosit in the living room. If there’s a single chair available and the girl is a bit guarded, she’s goingto sit in that chair, making your job very hard. Unfortunately, in this game, the differencebetween developing a long-term girlfriend and not getting a second date with a girl often comesdown to seating, believe it or not! If you can’t get close enough, in a graceful way, to make themove, she may leave the date thinking you’re a pleasant guy, but lacking in edge. On the otherhand, if you ravish her and get her pining for more, she’ll definitely come back.6

CLOSINGAnd this often comes down to where she sits when she comes into your place. I cannotoveremphasize this enough! It’s extremely awkward to kiss a girl when she’s seated in a singlearmchair with armrests - you can’t get to her! And, if you’re new to the hustle, you may not haveenough confidence to tell her to stand up and then kiss her. So, getting her into an accessibleseating situation is critical.The ideal piece of furniture is a daybed, available at places like Crate and Barrel. It’s simply atwin-sized bed with armrests on both ends. There’s no back, but you can “create” one by placingthe daybed against a wall and propping several pillows up against it. As you start to get cozywith the girl, and she’s responding, you can lay her down lengthwise, toss the pillows aside, andyou’ve got here in bed - voila!Cache of CondomsIf you choose to practice safe sex, make sure you have a stash of prophylactics handy. In the heatof the moment, you need to be able to reach with either hand and grab one. In Janka Method Idiscuss the advantages and disadvantages of several hiding places.CandlesAlways a hit with women. Always. Go the extra length and get standing candelabra - it willmake a difference. A couple or three large-radius cylindrical candles atop 3’ candelabra willincrease your success rate, for sure. Have them lit, with your playlist going, the lights dimmedand you’ll be more than halfway there.Also, for years I used matches to light this type of candle. That was a mistake. On manyoccasions I fumbled with them, and sometimes even burnt my fingers. This wasn’t smooth, andcertainly didn’t impress my date. Part of the problem is that as these large, cylindrical candlesburn, the center drops, but the peripheral wax remains high. This causes the wick to descend,making it hard to reach with small matches. The best solution - told to me by a player buddywho’s slept with over 400 girls - is to buy an electric wand lighter for $5 at the hardware store. Ithas a long and narrow tip, and the flame comes out at the end, so you can dip it into the deepcandles and light them, no problem.When to Kiss Her...Imagine it’s all going according to plan... She’s back at your place, sitting on your good side,relaxed. There’s nice, soft, suggestive music and mood-enhancing lighting in the apartment.You’re feeling good; perhaps she’s had a drink or two. Now what? How do you know when to7

CLOSINGpull the trigger, and how do you do it?First rule: pay attention to pausesHopefully, you’re talking about something suggestive, such as relationships, dating or sex. Theeasiest cases take no coaxing - they’re just ready for it, and perhaps a bit raunchy. These are thegirls who talk openly about sex and how they love it and want it. Often, however, a girl will be abit demure, and she may sit with her knees together, drink cradled in her lap, responding to yourquestions and generally engaged in the conversation. The trick is to lead the conversationcreatively into the kiss. There are variations on this, but the simplest template is to startdiscussing kissing. Ask her about her first kiss... Can she remember it? Tell her to relive it rightnow, by your side. Can she picture it, with her eyes closed? If she complies, you’re there - justkiss her when her eyes are closed and her head is tilted back. A nice variation on this is to askabout her most unexpected kiss - a time when a guy caught her off-guard with a smooch, andhow she yielded to his lips. This will set her up, as well.A more aggressive variation on this, for experienced men, is to kiss her neck, and ear, maybe hercheek, and then put some saliva on your fingers and circle it around her expectant lips, makingthem moist and plump. Then you just pull her in and put your lips where you fingers just were.Second rule: watch her eyesUnconsciously, a woman’s gaze will dart to areas of sexual interest. They’ve done studies thatreveal how women scan a guy’s body - head, groin, feet, groin, torso, head - in a split-second,before he knows what’s happening. They do this primarily to screen for physical compatibilityand health of a prospective mate.The same thing happens when you’re close, under intimate conditions. She will quickly - or, ifyou’re lucky, slowly - scan your lips when she’s ready for a kiss. When you are close and havingstrong, tender eye contact, she will unwittingly look down to your lips, to see if they are clean,moist and healthy. Even though she’s probably unaware she’s doing so, her actions are kisspreparation.She has just had the fleeting thought, “I wonder what it’d be like to kiss this man...”Lean in and show her.Third rule: use your handsA lot of times, a women is actually ready for a kiss, but her head and body aren’t in the easiestposition for you to “go in for the kiss.” Here, some experience and boldness go a long way. It’sperfectly appropriate for you to tenderly rub her neck (or the classic finger-under-the-chin) andthen gently turn her head towards yours. This dominant, but gentle, motion will get most women8

CLOSINGto yield, and they will tilt their head, part their lips, and receive your kiss. In fact, the gentle turninto-a-kissis perhaps the most romantic thing a man can do, and will often get her swooning.She’ll replay that moment many times over in her head.What about Body Language...?Some women are more sensual than others; it’s just a simple fact. Women vary considerably intheir level of experience with men, in how comfortable they are with their bodies, as well as howrelaxed they can be in a sexual environment. Because of this, it will take some time for you togauge a women’s response properly. As a general rule, a rigid or stiff girl doesn’t welcome youradvances, at least not yet, or in the manner you’re proceeding. That doesn’t mean she doesn’twant to be physical - just that you haven’t found the right “key” to unlock her.Here’s what you do: turn down the heat and back off. Give it a rest, but don’t let go completelyof the sexual tension, just let it breathe. This will become second nature the more experience youdevelop, but in the beginning, if the girl resists, give her space. Often, if a girl has put herself inan intimate position (night, alone with you, candles and wine) she’s open to being physical, butshe still wants to control the pacing. Let her. Often, her slight resistance is a test - and her bodywill still get horny - because she wants to give you access, but wants you to respect herboundaries, as well (this allows her to feel safe). It’s a fine line for women between a thrillinghook-up and a scary encounter with a man. I’ve been physical with thousands of women, and I’lltell you that it’s delicate. Not least because different girls have widely divergent ideas of what’s“thrilling” and also some require a lot of safety, some very little. In the beginning, err on the sideof caution.“I” Girls vs. “L” GirlsThis concept didn’t come to me right away, but after seducing a few hundred women andspending a lot of time discussing and dissecting the logistics end of it with my player buddies, Irealized something crucial about the last step in the game. Just like sports, the “winning” teammust outplay its competitor and part of that is accomplished by having foresight, thinking ahead.Wayne Gretzky famously said, “I skate to where the puck is going to be, not where it has been.”In your closing game, you have to think the same way, and a lot of the skill is anticipating thewomen, her mood, and the logistics of actually getting her naked. As I mentioned a few pagesback, proper seating is key to having a well-choreographed hook-up. If things aren’t well thoughtout, you’ll have a hard time sleeping with a girl quickly. Which leads us to the importance of thischapter...As you begin feeling up a girl, she’s probably sitting down on a couch. You may be kissing,9

CLOSINGrubbing her thighs and stomach a bit. You go for her breasts and she lets you cup them andmassage them. They feel full in your hands. Your free hand comes behind her, putting tenderpressure on her lower back and then up to her neck. With a firm grasp you massage her neck andrun your fingers through her thick hair. So far, so good.If things are moving quickly, you’ll quickly hit a logistical snag: she’s sitting down, in what Icall the “L” position. Her torso makes a right angle with her legs, creating her “lap.” That’s aproblem for your hands, and ultimately for your fingers, which are going to work her into afrenzied state!Crossing the denim Rubicon is much harder when the girl is sitting. If she has a belt on, forgetabout instant access! Any attempted suaveness will be lost, and for the girl’s part, she’ll have tofully acknowledge that she’s allowing you into her knickers. She won’t be able to later use theexcuse that, “It just happened!” Removing a tight belt and undoing tight-fitting jeans is a veryconscious, non-sexual process. And precisely because it’s such a milestone, it’s often the point atwhich a girl reconsiders the pacing and decides to slow it down, or stop completely.I’m telling you this from literally hundreds of encounters.That’s why I love “I” Girls. You can avoid this snag altogether with a little planning andforesight. What does that mean? Well, it means that you proceed with all the above-the-waistnookie you want, but before you go for the panties, you either:A) stand her up, orB) lie her down.It’s that simple. The key is to have discipline, the most important quality for a player to possess.Although you obviously want to put your hands in her pants, wait until you’ve got her standingagainst a wall or lying on the bed, couch or floor.The reason this works is that the female guard is in lock-step with male escalation: the faster youtry to get her naked, the more she’ll resist (usually). Postpone the coup de grace, and she’ll agreeto re-positioning because you haven’t tried to get in her pants yet, and she’s enjoying thejuvenile, above-the-waste make-out session. By getting her into the “I” position before youplunge your hand into her knickers, you will bypass her defenses. Once you’ve got her body in asingle plane, slide that hand in and enjoy! You’ll be amazed at how easy it will go in, even past abelt and tight waist. Both of you will be glad you did!10

CLOSINGA Few Words on Pussies and Cocks...For the purposes of “closing,” the pussy is the pivot point. Many a girl has changed her mindabout leaving once I’ve gotten my fingers in her twat. A lot of times, a girl may feel unsure oruncomfortable with fast physical escalation, and though having fun, she may decide “it’s time toleave.” Even if “fast seduction” isn’t your thing, listen up! A woman will completely change hermind if you can touch her pussy, and touch it well. That’s the truth of the matter.Having slept with well over 200 girls and fooled around with many hundreds more, I can tell youthat a girl has two modes: the rational and cautious mode, where her brain overrides the moment,and a passionate, horny state where she isn’t thinking, just feeling. You’ll be amazed at howpowerful this dichotomy is. Think of it this way: you meet a girl you’re lukewarm on. Somehowthe two of you end up alone together, and she gets frisky. She’s touching you, making a blatantmove.Now, you may not be too into it - perhaps you’re on the fence and thinking it’s time to head out.If this girl gets ballsy - literally - and grabs your package, you might decide to stay and see howit turns out... And, if she goes further and starts to give you head, let’s be honest...you’d take it.The same thing applies to women: if you turn them on sufficiently, you can often reverse a losingsituation. That’s no lie.Another trick that can turn the tide in a stalled-out hook-up: revealing your package. I kid younot, it works. Under the right circumstances, taking your hard cock out during a make-outsession can convince a girl to go farther than she thought she wanted to go... What usuallyhappens during a first hook-up is that the girl is into kissing, breast, maybe touching your dickthrough your pants. She allows you to rub her crotch through her pants, but won’t let you indirectly. You’re getting really worked up, but she keeps parrying your advances.You have three options:i) slow it down, regroup and attack.ii) abandon the cause and send her on her way.iii) whip out Mr. Styx.I’m not the first to advocate this, by the way. Other players have said so much, and I’m oftensurprised when a guy tries this and reports back - “Success!” The reasons this works is that itcreates a hyper-sexual moment - one she can accept or exit from. Either way, you’ll move theinteraction forward. And that will get you results; the teases will be sent along, and the fun girlswill be given an opportunity to perform!11

CLOSINGWrapping Up...Of course you should wrap it before sex, but that’s not what I’m talking about here... I’m talkingabout how to gently ease a girl along after you’ve had sex. Of course, if you are a lucky bastardand find a true connection out there, then my hat’s off to you, and enjoy your love... For the restof us out having fun, putting up numbers, and taking no prisoners, it’s helpful to know how toget rid of a women after sex.Just as there’s an art to getting a girl back to your place - “swing by”, having something on thestove to which you must return, “I know a cute little place...” - there’s an equal art in getting herdressed and out the door. Often, if a girl is willing to have sex, she wants to lounge around orsleep over. The more dominant females will actually feel entitled to your space as a trade for thesex they just delivered. This can be terribly inconvenient.I’ve found the best solutions are a) not to deal with drunk girls, who may pass out, or be too tiredto get on their way and b) always have a reason to leave the apartment. The former is avoided bynot feeding them booze, the latter by needing to go out “to pick something up at the drugstore.”Here in NYC, things are open late and I can easily make an excuse for an evening outing. MaybeI need some milk at the store for tomorrow’s breakfast cereal... Or, I’m not feeling great and Iwant to pop down and get some Advil. The key is a plausible reason to get the girl outside,where you can walk her to her car, or help her hail a cab. Most women will understand yourmotivations. Those that don’t may have to be told. And it’s a lot easier once they’re outside, onthe street.Good Luck!I’ve equipped you with some good technicals to help you get the job done effectively, but whatabout the ultimate close - the girlfriend close? How do you develop the conditions suitable for alonger-term relationship? How do you move beyond notches on your bedpost to something morestable and meaningful? Well, there are many ways to skin a cat, and I’m not going to pretend toknow the best way to parlay attraction into a relationship. To be honest, that usually happensorganically, with little or no planning. The more likely outcome is a need to avoid a relationshipbefore you’re ready... Women naturally gravitate towards relationships when they like a guy; fewwomen like to have a series of one-nighters while remaining single. So, if you perfect your gameand learn how to sleep with plenty of women, the problem will take care of itself. You’llprobably have more girlfriend offers than you want or need.To The Good Life,Paul Janka12