Covenanter Witness Vol. 53 - Rparchives.org

need!"way."mind."creature"months."most,"glory."At The Fork In The RoadIn a Hollywood church one Sabbath evening notmany years ago, my son, Tom, turned to me after thepreacher concluded his sermon and said, "Mother, iseverything all right between you and the Lord?" Iwell knew that the answer to such a soul-searchingquestion was an unequivocal NO, yet in self pride Ihastily explained that I had accepted Christ as mySaviour at the age of 10. "But, Mother," he urged,"You don't know Christ the way I do! If you did,you wouldn't be so restless, always searching forsome new kind of religion to give you peace ofI was blessed with the most wonderful gift ina Christian Mother and Father, who toldthe worldme about Jesus as soon as I was able to understand.They took me to Sabbath school and church, not onlywhen I was just a babe in arms at Italy, Texas, butalso as I grew older after moving to Arkansas. Therewas a revival in Osceola when I was ten, and thereI accepted Christ as my personal Saviour. But youknow, there's a big difference between just acceptingHim and turning over your heart and life to Him. Isaid, "Jesus, I love you and I believe you're the Sonof God, but there are things that I want to do. Iwant to be a success in the business and entertainment world. I'll go to Sabbath school and church occasionally, but I want things myNot putting Him first in my life led to neglectedBible reading and prayer. Consequently, I strayedfrom His fold, eloping with my first sweetheart inmy early teens, shattering every dream my Motherhad for me. Though this was a failure, my sonwasn't, for out of that union God blessed me withTom, who proved to be a great anchor in the roughyears which later enveloped me.My Sabbath school and church attendance in theyears that followed was spasmodic, for I put my career first. At 28 I wound up in Hollywood under contract to a movie studio, the ambition of so manyyoung girls. But my life was hectic and full of mistakes, disillusionment, insecurity and wrong decisions which hurt others as well as myself. As I beganto acquire some of the things which ordinarily shouldhave made me happy, I was miserable, life holdingonly a disappointing shallowness.These things flashed through my mind as myson sat beside me, tears in his eyes, as he tenderlypleaded: "Jesus is all you Here I was, a moviestar, married to a famous cowboy, step-mother tothree lovely children, with practically any materialluxuries I could desire within my grasp. I crumbledinside, and suddenly the falsity and emptiness of myexistence loomed up before me. I knew why I hadmade such a mess of things ; I had never surrenderedmy will to Christ.My heart had been moved in a terrific way. Iwas at the fork in the road. Which path would Itake? That of unconditional surrender to JesusChrist, the Way, the Truth and the Life? Or wouldI turn again to the world and its glitter ; the applauseof man and all the superficial trimmings ? I managedto make it home, but then the dam broke and in aflood of tears and self reproach I saw how I had disfine Christian parents. I rememberedappointed my390the earnest concern of my boy,and the silent promiseI made to God the night Roy and I married to raisehis three children in a truly Christian home.I was like the Prodigal Son who went away fromhis father into a strange and far-away place andspent his substance on riotous living. I had to returnto my Heavenly Father. I could wait-forhardly thefollowing Sunday to arrive, for I had called Tom andtold him I would take my public stand for Christ onthe next Lord's Day. As I walked down the churchaisle and entered the prayer room, I made a full andunconditional surrender to the Lord Jesus Christ. Iasked His forgiveness, through the precious bloodHe shed on Calvary for the redemption of sinnerslike me. "Lord," I said, "Take my life, break it, twistit, bend it, but just USE it for thy I committed everything into His nail-pierced handssonal life, my loved ones, my career.my perIn place of a tempest-tossed soul and frustratedattempts to attain contentment, He filled my heartwith a peace that can be described only in suchwords as are found in the Holy Bible : "The peace ofGod, which passeth all I understanding."walked outof that church with a song springing up in my heartand a brand new perspective on life. I was certainlya "new in Christ Jesus.Two months later Roy accepted the Lord, and foralmost a year I was indescribably happy. Then,miracle of miracles, little Robin was on the way ! Wewere so happy to think we would be welcoming another little Rogers into the family. But four daysafter her birth we learned the heart-breaking newsthat she was not normal, and little hope was held forher future. "Five years at the the Doctor said,"but because of her heart condition expect her to goI suffered in an excruciany time after sixating Gethsemane, but my blessed Lord was constantly by my side during the two years of Robin'slife. Rather than breaking me, it blessed my life, forGod taught me lessons I had needed to learn tolerance, patience, love, understanding. When God tookher home to be with Himself, I felt the security ofHis everlasting arms supporting me, and I consideredit a blessed privilege that He would lovingly prune acrusty soul like mine. I came to understand His greatlove for us, for when I would yearn for the healingof my little Robin, I would think of how much greater ivas the grief of ourHeavenly Father as He lookedupon His only Son suffering the agony of Calvary'scross; He who was sinless, being made sin for us,that through His poverty we might be rich in Hisrighteousness.You know, the closest earthly thing to a woman's heart is her children, and our Master welded myheart to His forever through my two Tom andRobin. Tom broke down my wall of defense so Christcould get in, and then He sent little Robin to exposeme to suffering, so I could know Him better.I am not ashamed to say I belong to the LordJesus Christ, for He bought me through His bloodshed on that tree on Golgotha's hill, and a willingslave I shall be forever. He is the Shepherd of mysoul; my Lord and Master from here throughoutTHE COVENANTER WITNESS