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Paul ThomasThe Autumn InvasionGet your ear plugs and extra rations ofpatience ready, it’s time for the annualinvasion of new college students to begin!For some it is their first time away fromhome, for others it’s a career break. Butdespite the fees and increasing expenseinvolved in being a full time student, themajority will still be straight from school,6th form college or a gap year. Fending forthemselves without the umbilical cord ofthe family home to watch out for them,they will be charmingly naïve / amazinglyannoying for a while, especially atweekends. But wehave probably allbeen a touch selfcentredat times,and they willhopefully grow outof it and add tothe vibrancy of ourfair city. Besideswhich, they couldsoon well beserving you yourcoffee or pint!Kemptown is a popular destination for house and flat shares, as those previously confined to campus spread theirwings and take advantage of the 23 bus service to Falmer. Over the years it has been interesting to note thatthose who complain loudest about students have tended to be jealous of the opportunities that students had, inabundance. Later nights, occasional lectures and a spot of essay writing seemed the norm. Now, however, thestudent life is one that starts from the get-go with a mountain of debt, unless the course is a career break, andeven then they are increasingly funded by loans or by re-negotiating the mortgage.But do you really need a degree to work in a shop? The complaint from potential employers is that too oftengraduates have no applicable skills, but are very adept at social media. There was a time when having a degreeimplied a strength of character, application and commitment, but degrees have become commonplace and to alarge extent devalued; additional ‘real-life’ skills are needed to get interviews and jobs. Voluntary work is one wayto gain experience and added value to both your CV and your life, and this is true for anyone, not just students.If all this talk of students and new terms has piqued your interest, maybe part-time study is the solution. Fromindependent tutors based locally to long standing institutions offering day and evening courses in a huge rangeof subjects, it is never too late to try something new. Renownedformer students who went to Brighton and Sussex Universitiesinclude Norman Cook (aka Fatboy Slim), Clive Myrie of BBCNews, Dermot Murnaghan of Sky News, Julien MacDonald thefashion designer, Phillipa Gregory, author of White Queen, andSimon Fanshawe, comedian and broadcaster. Joining their ranksafter graduation ceremonies in a few years could be your newneighbours… or you!If you really must avoid students, Thursday evenings have tended tobe when the cheap drink deals lure them in their hundreds andthousands to bars and clubs across town. Apparently, A&E is verybusy that night…KEMPTOWN’S TRULY LOCAL FRIENDLY SPORTS BAROPEN FROM 11AM – 11.30PMShowing all major sports eventsSKY SPORTS ESPN RUK ATRFriendly efficient staff serving anexcellent selection of wines and spiritsGreat range of Ales, Ciders and LagersWe are an openminded venueLight Bar snacksFreeGOLDEN CANNON20 - 21 St. Georges RoadKemptown, BrightonTelphone 01273 6836074 September 2013 www.kemptownrag.co.uk

Proud BrightonVintage glamour,on your doorstep!Offering a sumptuous three-course supper club menu every Thursday,Friday and Saturday, together with cabaret and burlesque performancesbefore, during and after dinner bookings as well as fabulous club events,Proud Cabaret Brighton promises an experience like no other.Every supper club takes on a different vintage theme, ranging from 1920s themedspeakeasy nights which promise to have you toe tapping into the evening, and BlitzParties captivating you back to wartime England, to their Parisian themed Saturday nightsupper club which promises ultimate decadence, bohemian vibes, flittering fans and nippletassels.Or how about joining Proud Cabaret for their critically acclaimed 50 Shades Of Cabaretevening? Embrace the forbidden with the arrival of their experiential burlesque dinner andshow! Reversing the power balance, Proud Cabaret will be playing master to your servant;so make sure you check your inhibitions into the cloakroom before plunging into this fetishfantasy land. Each attendee must agree to adhere to a strict rule card before being led intothe 50 Shades Of Cabaret den, where insolence will not be tolerated and bad behaviourwill be punished. A playful and engaging journey into the world of fetish, guests can expecttheir hosts to be dressed to thrill and audience members are encouraged to embracesuitably kinky attire.Get involved from 10.30pm every Friday and get your freak on in the adult playground ofguilty pleasures, as Dolly Rocket presents the very best retro tunes from the sixties to thenoughties. Let resident DJs take you back in time with every tub-thumping, toe-tapping andbootie-popping track you forgot you loved to pull shapes to, as they mix everything fromBowie to Blondie, Whitney to Will Smith, The Jam to Jive Bunny & The Quo to Queen.Whichever themed night you choose, Proud Cabaret Brighton promises you an exotic nightof glamour on every visit. And this September, Proud Cabaret Brighton also sees the launchof its delicious new Autumn menu, serving the finestfood every Thursday, Friday and Saturday.Have you booked your Christmas party yet? If youwant a festive celebration with a decadent difference,look no further than this jewel in Kemptown's crown!During December, Proud Cabaret Brighton will behosting a Christmas soiree like no other: awardwinning yuletide teasing burlesque and cabaretperformances are booked throughout December,perfectly complementing a deliciously festiveChristmas menu. Where better to round off andcelebrate with friends and colleagues alike, with arange of courses to suit all tastes and festive drinkspackages to ensure your party is merry.“I demand you go as soonas possible.”- George Bullivant, Restaurants Brighton"Proud Cabaret Brightonis Brighton's very ownvintage glamour venue”- The Telegraph“Guests enjoy somethingnew and exciting everyvisit, from the best musicplayed by top DJs tobeautiful burlesqueperformances” - Square MileProud Cabaret Brighton is broughtto you by the team behindLondon's Proud venues.For more information, listings andto book, visit brightoncabaret.comproudcabaretbrightonbrightonproudProudbrightonBrightonreservations@proud.co.uk01273 605789Proud Cabaret Brighton83 St George’s RoadPhotos by Lesley Taylorwww.infinityphotographic.co.ukwww.kemptownrag.co.uk September 2013 5

Emma Burton & Louise BevanRestaurant review:Twenty Four St GeorgesWe’d have had no excuses for turning up late (which of course we didn’t,punctuality pedants that we are) as this stunning restaurant is situated only astone’s throw from my usual stomping - or should I say sitting - ground inKemptown: behind the desk of the Kemptown Bookshop. In fact, it’s directlyacross the street. Nestled here in the heart of the village, Twenty Four StGeorges welcomed us warmly and staff showed us promptly to our seats inthe large bay window. People-watching opportunities a’plenty, yet again; wewere delighted.We were offered a starter platter with fresh bread, marinated olives andbeautifully presented quails’ scotch eggs, and an aperitif, whilst we drooled over -I mean, casually perused - the menu. Settling upon seared lamb with fig jam andgoat’s cheese mousse to begin, and a spectacular dish comprising pigeon, slowroasted pork and ballotine for her main, Emma sat back in eager anticipationwhilst I had a lovely conversation with Christopher, our host: the chefs hadconsiderately prepared a three-course dinner for me especially, as a deviationfrom their current menu, to suit my dietary requirements. I was chuffed at theeffort that had been put into this bespoke three-course combination, and blownaway by the dishes themselves. I was treated to heritage tomatoes with gazpachoto begin, and barring a little faux pas on the table manners front (how exactly areyou supposed to eat crutons, anyway? Not with a fork, it would seem…),I thoroughly enjoyed this light and refreshing dish. Marinated tofu with lemon andginger, caramelized leek and potato rosti was served for the main, with anextraordinary mohito sorbet to finish. Arguably deservingof it’s own column entirely, there’ll be more said about thisparticular dessert later!Emma’s main, in particular the slow roasted pork, was soexceptional in flavour and presentation that we had toenquire about the cooking time - Emma, a true foodie,knew that it’s often common practice to ‘slow roast’ forbetween 4-5 hours in a lot of restaurantsThe chefs’ preference in this restaurant, however, is to slowroast for between 2-3 days; evidence of an inordinate level of consideration forthe taste and texture of the dish, and a pride in preparing it properly. It was‘amazing… melt in the mouth amazing!’, according to Emma.A glass of the house red wine, Le Montalus Merlot, proved complementary, andwas served at an absolutely, spectacularly appropriate temperature (giggle all youwant, these things are important!).My own main course was perfectly seasoned, with an interesting and boldcombination of flavours and textures: I loved it. My only gluttonous grievancebeing that I wish I could have eatenmore. Full, but by no meansdefeated, Emma ordered the cheeseplatter to finish and I tucked in to aquite revelatory vegan-friendly mohitosorbet. Adjectives fall short insufficient description of the triumph ofthis dish, but suffice it to say - in myhumble opinion - a visit to thisrestaurant is worth it for a mouthful ofthis taste bud-tingling dessert, pairedin a stroke of genius with sweet,plump raspberries, alone.Salivating in recollection of one of myfavourite meals to date, Emma and Iwill undoubtedly be visiting again.Or if not with Emma, I will be perfectlycontent at a table for one with aspoon in hand and a hot date with agenerous helping of sorbet.The house red winewas served at anabsolutely,spectacularlyappropriatetemperature(giggle all youwant, these thingsare important!)Twenty Four St Georges made it into theMichelin Guide last September, after havingbeen open for only 20 months. Neither chefhad any previous experience of working inMichelin or Rosette accreditedestablishments, so this listing is accoladeindeed, and testament to the quality of thefood and the skill of the staff. The menus herechange every couple of weeks, so you have to be snappy ifyou spy something you’d like to try - and this popularrestaurant is often full to capacity, even on a weekday night(we reviewed on a Wednesday and the restaurant was full,and buzzing), so it’s wise to book ahead.So long as we don’t get there before you.Twenty Four St Georges, St George's Road, Brighton, BN2 1ED,01273 626060 / www.24stgeorges.co.ukCommunity newsAcing A-Levels atBrighton CollegePupils from Brighton and Hove studying at BrightonCollege are celebrating outstanding A-Level resultsthis year. The College was named UK School of theYear 2011-12 by the Sunday Times for being theonly school in England to improve its results everysingle year for seven years. And in 2013, BrightonCollege has done it again, equalling the previousrecord of grades at A*-B:· 96% of grades were at A*-B and 100% of gradeswere passed.· Incredibly, 97 pupils achieved AAA or better intheir results.· 21 gained A*A*A* - an astonishing achievement.· 20 secured places at Oxford or Cambridge.Richard Cairns, Head Master, said: “I am delightedfor the boys and girls of Brighton College. Theyhave once again achieved the top grades in Sussexwithout ever losing their sense of fun, or theircommitment to life beyond the classroom. So manyof those celebrating have been top sportsmen,dancers, artists and musicians. That they have foundtime to excel academically as well is truly humblingand inspiring.”6 September 2013 www.kemptownrag.co.uk

Community newsButler’s Wine CellarIf this year's freakishly good summer weather has made Brighton feel (a bit) like California attimes, you can keep the theme going into the autumn by dropping into Butler's Wine Cellarand picking up a few bottles from their new range of Californian wines.Not content with having scooped up the Portuguese WineRetailer of the Year Award in 2012 (and having alerted anappreciative customer base to the wealth of Portuguesewines available, beyond port and ubiquitous rosés, as aresult), owner Henry Butler has gone transcontinental in hisongoing mission to seek out exciting and innovative newwines. “We’ve always taken pride in sourcing wines fromsmall, passionate producers who share our values,” saysHenry, whose parents founded Butler’s in 1979, making itBrighton’s oldest independent producer. And this year hispassion was rewarded yet again when he won an industrycompetition and was invited out to California to meet a selection of vineyard owners and growers – and tosample some of the most exquisite wines to be found in the Sunshine State. “I did it for my customers,” saysHenry, not entirely convincingly. “And now they get to benefit from all my hard work with this incredible newrange of Californian wines. There’s so much more to California than the big supermarket brands…”He gets a faraway look in his eye. Maybe he’s remembering warm nights inNapa Valley, or maybe he’s looking forward, to his next wine-finding mission.“World domination would be nice,” he admits.Butler’s Wine Cellar, 88 St George's Road, Brighton01273 621638 / www.butlers-winecellar.co.ukHave Your SayDear Ragsters,I like dogs. Big dogs - cool. Little dogs - cool.I even like middle sized dogs. I also like theconscientious dog owners who pick the poopup; it's not hard. However, mostKemptownians will have noticed increasingpiles of the stuff plaguing our lovely streets?I'm sick of having to dance to dodge thedoggy dollops dotted about. Everywhere youlook there's another pile of pooch poopwaiting to smear itself onto the bottom of myshoe! I appeal to all dog lovers: please,please, please pick up your bow-wow's bumnuggets. Be excellent and pick up yourexcrement. If poop come out of your mutt,clean the proceeds of said butt!Thanks for listening,M., Kemptown.Send your comments toeditor@kemptownrag.co.ukTo advertise your business, service or eventcall 01273 687171 or simply visit our website,to find out more at www.kemptownrag.co.ukCommunity newsAre Green councillorsfailing theirconstituents?Seven Green councillors failed to attend more than 78% of their scheduledcouncil meetings between May 2012 and April 2013, with Councillor AlexPhillips only attending a meagre 62%. Despite these shocking attendancelevels, recent councillor allowance figures show that six of the sevencouncillors were still able to claim their full basic allowance, whilst five of theseven were able to claim their special responsibility allowance in addition totheir basic money.Local Liberal Democrat campaigner, Jeremy Gale, said:“The attendance figures for some of the Green Party councillors are deplorable.For Cllr Phillips to attend just 62% of her scheduled meetings is an insult tothe people living in her ward.If the hard-working taxpayer was to show up forwork just three days out of their scheduled five dayweek they would, at best, expect to facedisciplinary action, if not to lose their job entirely.Whilst the councillors in question have every rightto claim their allowances, the figures show that thetaxpayer isn’t getting value for their money.”To keep up to speed with this story, visit: www.liberalbrighton.orgwww.kemptownrag.co.uk September 2013 7

Community newsBrighton EarlyMusic FestivalAutumn heralds the return of Brighton Early Music Festival, which thisyear turns up the heat with the theme of ‘Passion’. Once again, some ofthe most thrilling events will be staged in Kemptown.First up, the searing vocal and instrumental ensemble Joglaresa returns to StGeorge’s Church on 25th October to present ‘Songs of Sinne and Subversion’– from the Crusades to the present day. Also at St George’s, the much lovedsoprano Emma Kirkby and lutenist Jacob Heringman present a double billon 7th and 8th November featuring the beautiful lute songs of Elizabethancomposer John Dowland. On the Thursday, in the festival’s first ever masterclass,they coach three young professional voice and lute duos,followed on the Friday by a full concert.Finally, the festival offers two localevents on Saturday 9th November – alunchtime concert at St Mary the VirginChurch of medieval vocal andinstrumental music, ‘Tall towers,husbands and other obstacles to love’,and a cabaret-style evening concert atSt George’s of passionate love songsfrom Portugal and Brazil, featuring theyoung instrumental ensembleL’Avventura (flute, violin, cello, guitarsand harpsichord) with sopranos JoanaSeara and Sandra Medeiros.L’AvventuraCommunity newsDoes Queens Park have talent?Local student Maya Atkinson stepped into the formidable shoes of Simon Cowellas she produced a unique talent competition… only this one was for charity.Maya, who attends Stage Studio Theatre School, wanted to do something special to markher graduation from Queens Park Infant and Nursery School. She came up with the boldidea of ‘Queens Park’s Got Talent’. The idea was to create an opportunity for the studentsof Queens Park School to go head to head in a live performance, to show off their talentsbefore a live audience - all in the hope of raising money for both the school and TheRocking Horse Children's Charity. Over 50 young hopefuls auditioned to perform in thelive show, which took place on Thursday 18th July.The finalists performed before a panel of judges led by the head of Queens Park School,Mrs Anne Cox, Ms Buxton, Ms Irving, and guest judge Shelley Williams, a West Endperformer and principal of Stage Studio.Shelley Williams said: “We were really excited to see the talent of Queens Park. We are soimpressed at how hard Maya has worked to put this show together and the live final wasamazing. It's so inspiring to see a young person take on a project and persevere, no matterwhat obstacles are put in their way. If you work hard you can achieve, and Maya is proof ofthat. The show was a massive success. We are very proud of Maya and I hope she is too. Iknow her mum (Linda Atkinson) is!"Maya not only produced the show, but also hosted the final with Bonnie Magee, EsmeeTothill and Chloe Farell. The winner was Lola Jones (pictured) who won four tickets to seeDiversity. Here’s to homegrown talent!For full information on these events and more, and to buy tickets,visit www.bremf.org.uk 8 September 2013 www.kemptownrag.co.uk

Community newsBrighton DigitalFestivalGeeks and gadgets mix with art, music and debate as Brighton DigitalFestival kicks off this month. Brighton Dome will become a hub for thisfour-week-long celebration of digital culture, organised by the city'sdigital and arts communities, from Thursday 5th September.Beatbox legend Shlomo headlines on Friday 27th September. A worldrecord holder, Shlomo heads to Brighton with his brand new interactiveexperience Human Geekbox, exploring the art and science of geekdom,gadgets and the magic of a single human voice. Raised on a diet oforchestral percussion and jazz drums, Shlomo instinctively began makingvocal music as a small child. He first found critical acclaim as a beatboxer in 2002, aged just 18, when hebegan touring with the multinational hip-hop group Foreign Beggars. Since then, Shlomo has won globalacclaim as a solo artist, performing at Glastonbury and working with some of the biggest names in musicincluding Bjork, Damon Albarn, Jarvis Cocker and DJ Yoda.On his latest tour he has set himself the challenge to co-write, perform and release a new song in just twohours with a different local artist at each venue. At Brighton Dome, he will relive his metamorphosis fromwannabe astrophysics geek to mouth music megastar, swapping telescope for microphone and trading in afamily history in astrophysics to perform his vocal pyrotechnics.The relationship between people and technology will also be explored in Feminism 3.0 on Saturday 14thSeptember, as a panel of activists, artists and commentators ask: Does social media help or hindercontemporary feminism? It's a highly-charged, topical question at a time when headlines are filled withrecent threats made to female commentators and presenters by internet trolls. The panel will include 15-year-old blogger Lilinaz Evans (Lilipop), and Guardian columnist and victim of Twitter bullying SuzanneMoore.Bring Your Own Beamer, on Saturday 21st September, is a night of experimentation and collaboration atBrighton Dome. A journey of video installations and short film cinemas - starting in the historic tunnelsunderneath Brighton Dome and leading to the beautiful Concert Hall - introduces a simple idea, but theoutcome will be a creative free-for-all showcasing light and colour as you’ve never seen before.Brighton Digital Festival provides an exciting platform for a community led programme produced by anetwork of organisations from the arts and digital communities, alongside individuals who are passionateabout digital culture. It aims to champion the power of the arts, to enrich and change lives, and to inspireand enable artists to be their most creative.For more information, visit www.brightondigitalfestival.co.ukGrumpy old gitGary turnsart critic …Firstly this month, some of you may havewondered about my gushingly effusivedescriptions of my beautiful friend Donna,('brilliant', 'totally amazing', etc). I think it'sworth pointing out that she types this stuffout for me herself. Not that I’m suggestingthese facts are connected …Secondly, I thought I'd join in The Great KemptownStatue Controversy. (See two issues ago, regardinga statue of David in someone's front garden). In anupdate, evidently the Council has requested that itbe removed. My first thought on hearing this was,'Bloody philistines! Do they not know this statue hasbeen standing in Florence for over 500 years?' It'sprobably the best known statue in the world.I first noticed it while strolling along St. George'sRoad on my way to The Barley Mow with myfabulous Fine Art Appreciation Expert (Donna). As Irecall, she said, "It's got your face all wrong". I alsorecall she may have had a somewhat enigmaticMona Lisa smirk on her face when she said this.That was possibly my imagination. I pointed outthat my nose wasn't the only bit that was the wrongsize: the cackling was very hurtful. To digress for amoment, the original never has had a fig leaf on it -that was a copy in a London museum that hadspecially fitted hooks so that a fig leaf could bemounted whenever Queen Victoria visited.Presumably, this was to stop Her Majesty suddenlyblurting out, "Call that a knob?". This may not be avery reliable theory.Anyway, back to the Council. Initially I assumed theiractions were based upon some perceived offence.But whatever your tastes, it's a sexy statue, isn't it? Ihad visions of failure to comply with Councilrequirements being met with a visit from a crackteam of Council Explosive Experts, possibly led byMichael Caine, ('You were only supposed to blowthe bloody willy off!’). Perhaps their ignorance ofgreat art extends into other areas, too.Me: So, Councillor, what do you think of GeorgesBraque?Councillor: Who?Me: He and Picasso invented Cubism.Councillor: Oh no, we don't approve of that sort ofthing. We're a Council, we don't do discrimination.No Sexism, Racism or Cubism. Being Cuban is nota crime.Me: Thank you.Sadly, the truth is far more mundane. It's to do withplanning permission for a front garden that is nextto the highway and pavement. Even a dove-cote inyour front garden requires planning permission.Notwithstanding this, I agree with the previouscontributor that it's an 'Only in Kemptown' sort ofthing. I feel that any attempt to remove it should bemet with organised opposition, possibly a ProtestMince? (Sorry, I lived in Kemptown for 30 years.)Personally, I think the best response would be toapply for Retrospective Planning Permission for alife-size statue of David, then install a full-size copyof the original. It's 17ft tall.Har har, take that ESCC!Gaz.www.kemptownrag.co.uk September 2013 9

Anja Ashton‘Die Strandzwerge’ arecoming to KemptownSpeaking two languages has obvious benefits, but the latest sciencesuggests that it can improve children’s problem-solving and multitaskingabilities, their memory, self-esteem, creativity and empathy too.Children learn languages fastest and easiest in their pre-school years. Being aGerman mum with an English husband, I’m aware that it’s not always as easy as‘You just have to speak German to your little one’, so I helped set up Brighton &Hove’s new German Saturday School, which I co-chair. From that grew the ideaof Brighton’s German Kindergarten, ‘Die Strandzwerge’.It’s a friendly, Montessori-inspired place where 3-5 year olds can practice andimprove their German. In our little home-run world, everything is activity based.While we sing, bake, role-play, paint and dress up, we learn German, make newfriends and have lots of fun together.Located in a quiet cul-de-sac in the heart of Kemptown, it has a lovely, childfriendly indoor and outdoor environment, and our groups are very small in orderto provide the high quality setting that best supports the languagedevelopment of each individual.Children learnlanguages fastestand easiest intheir pre-schoolyears.Interested? Come to our open day on Thursday 12 Septemberfrom 10am-2pm, or make your visit by arrangement.For more information, call 07930 494822or email info@strandzwerge.co.ukTo advertise your business, service or event call 01273 687171 or simply visit our website,to find out more at www.kemptownrag.co.uk10 September 2013 www.kemptownrag.co.ukBritish Study CentresExpand your horizonsHave you ever considered teaching English to foreigners as a career, or as away to travel to some interesting places? Many who’ve both taught in theirhome towns or subsidized their travels with teaching work will testify thatteaching is a truly rewarding and satisfying experience. There are a greatmany opportunities for teachers here in Brighton, as well as in exoticlocations around the world. Especially apparent in the summer months, whenthe streets of Brighton are buzzing with visitors, the city is a populardestination for international students wishing to come to the UK to studyEnglish, and so there are numerous schools here and many opportunities forqualified teachers.British Study Centres in Hove offers a four-week intensive training course, whichruns on various dates throughout the year, and leads to the Trinity CertificateTESOL - a recognised qualification that will allow you to teach in accreditedEnglish schools. British Study Centres’ Teacher Training Centre is part of a wellestablished,award winning English school and many graduates of the course havealso gone on to be employed by the school. Currently, the school employs five oftheir own previous trainees, including two newly qualified teachers whocompleted the course in June this year. Other graduates have gone on to findwork in various countries around the world.Philip Marsh, who qualified with British Study Centres in 2010, has recentlyreturned to work as a teacher at the Hove school after two years teaching in Italy.He had this to say: “The opportunity to live and work across the world at the entrylevel of a profession is a unique benefit of TESOL teaching, and I have found ittruly fantastic in terms of both work and, more generally, life experience. Havingnow returned to teach at BSC I am really pleased to be back in the place wheremy enthusiasm for the job was sparked.”Philip’s testimonial is one of many that highlight British Study Centres as a greatchoice in preparing you for a career in English language teaching. If teaching, andthe opportunities it could afford you, appeal to you, then contact the school tofind out more about courses starting in September, October and November.British Study Centres, 47 Cromwell Road, Hove, BN3 3ER, 01273 229740 /brighton.tt@british-study.com

Community newsThe Townhouse:The chef’s storyI was born in Canada and my parents are Scottish, which allows meto work and live in the UK: I have been here for about six yearsnow. I started off at The Ritz hotel where I really got an eye-openerto exceptional levels and standards of food. I was amazed, and itwas such a learning experience. Consequently I spent a year and ahalf at The Ritz. From there, I joined The Bingham Hotel in Richmondwith a really talented chef, Shay Cooper. In my time at The Bingham,the restaurant was awarded three rosettes and a Michelin star. Ispent three years there as sous chef and accrued all the skills anddrive to take on my first head chef position.I joined Lythe Hill Hotel and Spa afterThe Bingham, which was my first headchef position and a truly amazingjourney. I took on the property, whichat the time was not doing well - theyhad lost all accolades over a few years.I was set on getting them back. In myfirst year as head chef I was awardedtwo rosettes for the restaurant at LytheHill.However we decided to findsomewhere more convenient to live, asHaselmere was pretty far away fromanything!Fortuitously, we just happened to stumble across The Townhouse restaurant inbeautiful Brighton, and the chance to try and restore a restaurant to better days.I've been in Brighton for almost five months now, and can honestly say it was agreat decision.Malcolm Campbell isHead Chef atThe TownhouseRestaurant and Bar,19 New Steine,BN2 1PD.01273 693216www.kemptownrag.co.uk September 2013 11

Rosie BarnardDolphin House:How it all beganAs a child, I was constantly ill with asthma,bronchitis and hay fever. I hardly attended schooland have few memories of ever really enjoying achildhood. By the time I reached my 20s I wasrelying on steroids and antibiotics to keep me well.A friend suggested I try acupuncture; she evenpaid for the first visit, and dropped me outside thepractice. From that day on I have never lookedback.I went once a week, then fortnightly. For the first timein my life I could speak without gasping, take walks,and plan holidays. It felt good to be alive! I expressedto Julian Scott (the acupuncturist) how grateful I wasin gaining back my health. “If only I had been able tohave acupuncture as a child, what a difference itwould have made.” I offered to help in any way Icould to raise awareness of acupuncture, so othersmight benefit too.Julian absorbed my comment, and having youngchildren of his own he decided to return to China andtrain in pediatrics. Upon Julian's return in 1983 heasked me to help him set up a clinic specialising inacupuncture for children. I was more than happy tohelp. We found premises for just one afternoon aweek, in order to give us the chance to monitor whatresponse there was. My mother, who was home mostdays, offered to put her phone number forward, tookcalls and booked the children into a diary. I wouldthen pick this diary up the night before the clinic (waybefore we had such devices as mobiles andcomputers!). My mother often got calls from friends offriends who had used the clinic, and sometimes lateat night from distraught parents when their child wasacutely ill. One of the main policies of the Children'sClinic was that no matter what income a family had,Restaurant reviewWhat’s your poison?Whoever said that drinks were only an accompaniment to a meal? Food ForFriends have gone all out in their recent overhaul of the food and drinksmenu, spanning a month of trials, tasting and consideration (see our reviewfrom the last issue), to the extent that we couldn’t resist re-visiting theirexquisite drinks menu for a particular mention.Currently featured are a selection ofbiodynamic and vegan wines and someunusual new cocktails – and with names like‘Fire Cracker’ and ‘English Garden’, whocould resist giving them a try?! A selectionof delicious organic beers, includingstrawberry, and even a Sussex champagnecider (v) also sneak onto the new menu; thislocal venue boasts a bar to contend with itsrestaurant, and is not to be missed this latesummer season.Food For Friends17-18 Prince Albert StreetBrighton, BN1 1HF01273 202310the children would be treated, and a donation madeto suit the family budget. The Clinic was soonawarded charitable status, and to this day stillremains.We were overwhelmed with parents wanting to bringtheir children, some from as far away as Scotland, andCanada! The waiting list got so long that it becameapparent we needed to find our own premises, whichwas and still is on New Road. Then, after four years ofvolunteering and with the clinic fully established, I leftto work in a full-time position elsewhere.I will never forget those early days and how amazingit was to see babies and children respond so well totreatment, and to see the relief of the parents too!Now, in my winter years, I have returned to fundraisefor this unique clinic. I see the second generationcoming for treatment and that makes me very, veryproud to have been part of it from the beginning.Rosie Barnard is Co-Founder of Dolphin HouseCharity Children’s Clinic in Brighton.To find out more about their work, visitwww.dolphinhouseclinic.comThea AndersonDear TheaI loved your column last month, 'Thirty Miserable Brides'...soon to be a bride myself, I've got a wedding-relatedproblem of my own: the in-laws do not get on! How do Ienjoy my special day and not let their mutual animosityruin everything?!Yours worriedly ...Dear soon-to-be-a-bride,First of all, congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! I'msorry to hear that the in-laws don't like each other. Sadly, thisis all too common. In-laws can get strangely competitive withone another, or simply come from different backgrounds withdifferent points of view on life (and have strong ideas abouthow things should run, especially at family events).Remember that this is your day. It belongs to you and yourpartner, and is a day of celebrating your love andcommitment to each other. So, the first thing I'd advise isignoring their conflict as much as possible; they're notchildren anymore, they're adults and parents. Their focusshould be on putting differences aside just for one day in thename of their child's happiness. Anything else is, quite frankly,selfish.In terms of practical solutions, I'm sure that you've arrangedthe seating plan so these warring parents won't be sitting nextto each other. If you really think there's a chance that tensionscould still arise, how about asking a sibling, another relative orfriend to keep an eye on them for you? If battle commences,your ‘ally’ can step in and discreetly calm things down. Failingall that, a sedative in the champagne could work wonders.(Just kidding on that one!)I hope you have a wonderful and happy occasion. This is youronce in a lifetime day, don't let the in-laws get in the way!Dear Thea,My boss is very critical, and it's starting to get me down. I likemy job but I'm starting to dread going to work - I don't thinkshe would respond well to this feedback, but I don't want toleave, either. What can I do?Miss J., Kemptown.Dear Miss J,I'm sorry to hear about your boss. That's no fun at all! A friendof mine always says, 'look for a good boss when looking for ajob' but sometimes it just doesn't work out like that.You have a few options here. One way is to approach thesituation head on. You could ask your boss diplomatically ifshe could be a little more gentle with her feedback, becauseyou'd really appreciate that. The second (if she doesn't takethe hint) is to tell her outright that you find her criticism of youinappropriate. But I hear what you're saying; she may be thetype of person who can't hear feedback, likes to feel in theright and isn't open to changing their ways.If you've tried to communicate with her about this in a fewways and it still hasn't worked, then you've got a few morechoices. Firstly, you could grow a very thick skin andunderstand that those who are very critical of others normallydon't feel so good about themselves (they do it to feel better,and a little more powerful). In this case, know that it's not reallypersonal. However, if you think she's crossing a line then youmight want to speak to someone else in the organisation (oryour union, or an organisation that deals with bullying in thework place). Get some advice on the matter from aprofessional perspective and/or a personal one - such ascounselling.It's a shame when people in positions of poweruse that to make other people feel small. Don't let it get youdown, you're worth so much more then that! Good luck!For more of Thea’s insights and advice,visit theaanderson.com12 September 2013 www.kemptownrag.co.uk

Community newsConnecting children withthe countrysideAt the seventh annual Connect with theCountryside Day, 2,300 children aged ten andeleven from 51 schools across Sussex and Surreyvisited the Ardingly Showground to discovermore about where their food comes from, and allaspects of rural life. Pupils and their teachers hada brilliant day in the sunshine, gaining a betterunderstanding of countryside issues, thanks toover 100 volunteers from the South of EnglandAgricultural Society.Mr Hughes, Assistant Head Teacher of UpperBeeding Primary School said, “It’s a brilliant day! Wecome here every year just for the children to experiencerural life and agriculture, and this day brings all that - weare a rural school, but a lot of our children still don’tcome into contact with the surrounding countryside.”Mrs Lewis from Globe Primary in Lancing said, “I thinkit’s useful for the children to see how food is made, becauseoften they don’t actually know where it comes from.”“We do now!” her pupils chipped in, after she wasasked this question.Four special ‘zones’ included Livestock, where childrenmet a range of farm animals from Sussex beef bulls tochickens; Horticulture and Food, where children learntabout healthy food, tasting local tomatoes, fresh milkand honey and discovering how sausages, bread andbutter are made; and two Wildlife and Recreation zonesalso covering important countryside topics, such asnature conservation, forestry and countryside sports.The Sheep Show, including sheep shearing, a PonyClub display and a Birds of Prey demonstration alsodelighted the children.Derek Cleaver of the Society’s Education Committeesaid, “This exciting, interactive day is offered free toschools and captures the very essence of the Society’scharitable and educational aims, and we would like tothank all who helped to make it such a success today.”Visit www.seas.org.uk for more information.Emma BurtonProud of PrideWell done, Pride! Not only did the weekendinvolve an amazing party and great organisationto make sure it all went well, but fundraisingraised a significant amount that will benefit somany. Just eight days after the dust had settled,organisers announced they had smashed thefundraising target they set themselves and raised£43,103 for the Rainbow Fund. This figure ishuge, and well over what the team expected toraise this year, so huge thanks and well done toPaul Elgood and all who were involved frombeginning to end.We are so lucky in Brighton that with a generalconsensus of love and acceptance for all, we have alight, party atmosphere a lot of the time. Kemptownhas its weird and wonderful residents andfrequenters. The bars, shops and restaurants arelively and the people seem happy and relaxed.Kemptown has also been voted by The Times asbeing in the top ten places to live in England.Not bad, eh?A portion of the money raised by ticket sales wasfed into the party, which boasted acts like AlisonMoyet, the original Sugababes MKS, Ms Dynamiteand Paloma Faith, each drawing in great numbersof people. One of my favourites was the Legendstent, which had me in stitches with the most wildand colourful drag queens I’ve ever seen, as well asthe dance tents and food outlets, quirky stalls andshops. It was a fantastic atmosphere and one of thebest days out of the year.Brighton Pride Director, Paul Kemp, said: “We arethrilled to have exceeded our target for 2013 andwould like to thank all of our sponsors and partnersand every person who made a donation by buying aticket for the Preston Park event. One of the mainobjectives of Pride is to raise essential funds tosupport good causes and charities within the LGBTcommunity, and it is extremely satisfying to be ableto fulfil this objective.”Pride will grow and grow every year, I’m sure, andcontinually boast an array of more exciting acts. Thiswill ensure further great support for local LGBT andHIV charities and voluntary sector groups deliveringfrontline services. Charities can already apply for thisfunding via the Sussex Community Foundation.These groups have until October 11th to apply, andthe funding is distributed on a needs-led basis bythe independent Rainbow Fund grants panel.So, well done all! The organisers, the workers, thevolunteers, and you - the ones who went and paidtickets for entry to the park, the ones who joined in,and all of Brighton for playing host to one of thebiggest parties in the country. Brighton is a veryspecial city indeed.For more information on this event and thecharities supported, visit www.brighton-pride.orgwww.kemptownrag.co.uk September 2013 13

To advertise your business,service or eventcall 01273 687171or simplyvisit our website,to find out more atwww.kemptownrag.co.ukIllustration - AP Pottingwww.appottingjr.comWilliam MillsGreenfingers:Hay makingAs lovely as Kemptown is during the summermonths, busy with festivals and street parties,the surrounding countryside is also at its best,with lots to see on a day out within an easy busride from home.During early July the sun finallyshone, enabling farmers to drivetractors onto their fields and cut thegrass to make hay. After the hay is cutit needs to be turned, before beingbailed ready for storage under coverin a barn.Summer has always conjured imagesof crops growing in abundance, andcountry folk living a happy, carefreeway of life. The poem ‘Haymaking’by John Clare (1793-1864)celebrates the English countrysidewith the immortal lines,“ ‘Tis haytime and the redcomplexionedsun was scarcely upere blackbirds had begun …”One of John Constable’s most famous oilpaintings, ‘The Hay Wain’ depicts a large farmcart being pulled across Suffolk’s River Stour in1821. It’s on display in the National Gallery,London - itself a likely venue for another dayout - and was voted second most popularpainting in any British gallery by BBC Radio 4’sToday programme in 2005.Cattle and horses are kept outside in thewarmer months of the year, grazing on grassgrowing in their fields. Farmers keep animalsout of several fields to let the grass grow longenough to produce hay, which is done during adry spell in the summer. Hay is fed to farmanimals during the winter months, when grasshas stopped growing or is covered by frost andsnow. The farmer has to time haymaking justright in order to be able to dry it sufficiently toprevent mould, while at the same timeretaining as much nutritional value as possible.Horses love hay, but if it’s mouldy or containstoxic plants they can become very ill.A farmer’s work goes on around the year. In theautumn, fields are ploughed to kill off anyharmful weeds, so carefully chosen grass seedcan flourish next spring.For more countryside pictures, gardeninginsights and other news, visit my website:www.the-news.co14 September 2013 www.kemptownrag.co.uk

Steve RustBrighton Dad:A relaxing summer holidayWell, by the time you read this article, the schoolsummer holidays will be nearly over. I’m writingthis just over two weeks into them, and I honestlydon’t think I could have shouted at my children anymore than I have done these past fourteen days. Inever thought that I would be one of those‘shouty’ parents. I thought that I would disciplinemy children through logical and reasoned debate,and through moments of carefully planneddramatic realisation, like when Mr Miyagi finallyrevealed the true meaning of ‘wax on, wax off’ tothe karate kid. As it turns out though, I am just oneof those ‘shouty’ parents.I have lost count of the number of times in the lastcouple of weeks where I have bellowed at my kids infull Basil Fawlty style - “Right that’s it, I’ve had enough.We are all supposed to be having fun, so stop yourmoaning and start enjoying yourself immediately!”I can’t believe I’ve got myself into this state, but forsome reason my kids in these school holidays havebeen so frustrating. This is the type of standard dailyconversation I've had to deal with:Seven year old says “What are we doing todaydaddy?” – “Well darling”, I say, “As it’s the schoolholidays, Mummy andI have prepared alovely picnic and weare going to take youto the beach” – (Sevenyear old collapses onto the floor) “Ugh …the beach of doom,can I take my HarryPotter DVD?” –“No, don’t be daft” I reply, “You can’t take a DVD tothe beach” – “Well my friends take their DVDs to thebeach!” – “No they don’t”, I say – (Seven year oldnow crying) “Yes they do, I’m serious, anyway can wejust go to Sri Lanka today instead?” – “Eh… what onearth do you mean can we just go to Sri Lanka todayinstead?” – At this point I try my best to controlmyself, whilst my three year old pipes up “Hooray,we’re going to the beach!” – “Yes” I say, “You see, thebeach is fun, thank you little boy, well done”. Then thethree year old asks “Will there be Moshi Monsters atthe beach, Dad?” – “No son”, I reply, “There won’t beMoshi Monsters at the beach” – “Oh” he respondssadly, “Can we just go to Sri Lanka today insteadthen?” – The aforementioned Basil Fawlty style freakout happens right about now.My wife and I have decided to stay at home for thesummer holidays this year, and it has so far provedquite a responsible job, looking after our kids andoccasionally the kids of others. I tell you this, though:looking after kids is a lot less responsible than havingto look after all the window boxes, tomato plants andgardens of our neighbours who have gone away forthe holidays. I've found myself praying for rain inorder to relinquish some of the wateringresponsibilities! But I think I've worked out a solution.I've decided to put the kids to work in the gardens ofmy neighbours’ houses, thus getting them out of myway, killing two birds with one stone and all that. I’munsure of the full legalities of child labour, but I thinkthey’ll be alright. There’s only another four weeks ofschool holiday left to go.haveyoursay@kemptownrag.co.ukHave Your SayDear KTRWe want clean air at Sussex County Hospital! Localresidents are objecting to the build-up of pollutioncaused by taxi congestion at the Hospital, andhave launched a petition to collect support inorder to open up a dialogue with the councilabout finding a sensible solution. The solutionmust take into account residents, taxi drivers andhospital visitors alike, but must address the seriousproblem of up to 2,000 taxis passing through thissensitive area (per week) when arguably only afraction of them are actually needed in thislocation.Can you help? Please visit www.rtlib.org.ukStefanie Lashbrook.Send your comments toeditor@kemptownrag.co.ukTo advertise your business, service or event call 01273 687171or simply visit our website, to find out more at www.kemptownrag.co.ukwww.kemptownrag.co.uk September 2013 15

Mark JohnsonWorldwide Beats - SeptemberSome scorchingly hot Afro sounds - Old and new!Slipstreem - Worldwide Beats at 11am - 1pm,Sundays live - RadioReverb 97.2fm +radioreverb.com and on demand atwww.totallyradio.comTamikrest- ChatmaGlitterbeat recordsI saw this band at WOMADthis year. The brilliant youngdesert blues rockers releasetheir 3rd album, dedicatedto the courage of the Tuareg women, who haveensured their children's survival, through the terriblecivil war.Tamikrest means "crossing" in the language of theKel Tamashek, a traditionally nomadic people,(Tuaregs) who inhabit the Saharan countries,including Niger, Algeria, Libya and Mali. It is an aptname for a band that so successfully merges thevalues of their culture with the sounds and visionsthey have encountered on a journey to the concertstages and iPods of the world. If you like Tinariwenyou will love theseTamikrest also play The Komedia on October22nd, so young and old blues rockers alike getyourself down there for a great night.Mulatu Astatke- Sketches Of EthiopiaJazz Village recordsThe godfather of Ethio-jazz,(a blend of funk, soul andjazz) returns with a stunningnew album, packed with quality arrangements all theway. Mulatu, born in 1943, and has worked with thelikes of Duke Ellington, Damian Marley and KanyeWest, and shows no sign of losing his trademarkvibraphone-led cool sound. One of the best releasesthis year so far.Vieux Farka Toure- Mon PaysSix Degrees recordsThe son of the great AliFarka Toure, Mon Paysmainly acoustic is the mostmature record yet from oneof this generation's most exciting artists to come outof Mali and one of world music's true rising stars."Iwanted to pay homage to our musical heritage,"says a reflective V F T. Being that his native Mali hasbeen splintered by war since January 2012.Various artists- Afrobeat AirwaysVol 2Analog AfricaA selection of 13 ultra-raretracks composed by some ofthe musical giants who hadcreated a movement that rocked the West Africannation throughout the 70s. Tropical sounds heavilyinfluenced by highlife, and 'Islamic Funk ' AnalogAfrica has criss-crossed Ghana in search of raretracks for their new 'Afrobeat Airways' offering. Asalways it has been beautifully packaged with a 44page booklet full of original photos and informationof the period, don’t download it, buy the product incd or vinyl form!What’s on at Theatre Royal Brighton - Jane TravisJOSEPH AND THE AMAZINGTECHNICOLOR DREAMCOATYOUR CHANCE TO WIN 2 TICKETS TO OPENING NIGHTWin 2 tickets to see JOSEPH AND THEAMAZING TECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT,Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber’ssparkling family musical, when it visitsTheatre Royal Brighton from 24 - 28 Sept.Ian ‘H’ Watkins, who became a householdname as ‘H’ with the 90’s pop phenomenonSTEPS, who have produced 3 hit number1 albums, plays Joseph.To book ticketsCall 0844 871 7650*Tickets £19 - £29.50or visitwww.atgtickets.com/brighton**Subject to a booking feeTue - Thu eves 7.45pmWed & Thu mats 2.30pmFri 5pm & 8pmSat 2pm, 5pm & 8pmRetelling the Biblical story of Joseph, hiseleven brothers and the coat of manycolours, this magical musical is full ofunforgettable songs including Those CanaanDays, Any Dream Will Do and Close EveryDoor To Me.To enter, tell us: Who wrote the music toJOSEPH AND THE AMAZINGTECHNICOLOR DREAMCOAT?For your chance to win, simply send anemail to travisjane@aol.comby 12th September, no later than 8pm.The winner will be notified by17th September 2013.Prize is valid for 24th Sept.Also coming to Theatre RoyalBrighton in September.GO BACK FOR MURDERAgatha ChristieMon 9 to Sat 14 SeptemberEves 7.45pm (Thurs and Sat mats 2.30pm)Carla Le Marchant lives with a disturbing familysecret; her mother, Caroline Crate, died in prisonwhile serving life for the murder of her husband.When Carla finds a letter from her mother protestingher innocence she becomes obsessed, determinedto clear her name. Suspects, secrets and suspenseabound in this new production starring LizaGoddard, Sophie Ward, Robert Duncan, GaryMavers, Lysette Anthony and Ben Nealon.GRANDPA IN MY POCKETTEAMWORKWed 18 to Sun 22 SeptemberCheck theatre for timesSunnysands pirate Horatio Heave Ho takes Jasonand Jemima on a pirate adventure in search oftreasure. When things start to go wrong it's time forGrandpa to put on his shrinking cap and save theday. A brand new story told by a young ensemblecast who bring all your favourite Sunnysandscharacters to life. Children will love this.BLOFELD AND BAXTERSun 8 September 7.30pmTwo of the titans of UK cricket present a sidesplitting show full of memories from within the TestMatch Special commentary boxes. Anecdotes neverbefore heard of the most legendary players from thelast forty years.ARDAL O'HANLONSun 15 September 8pmArdal O'Hanlon's latest stand up show. The style isobservational, the subject matter is life itself and thedefault expression utter disbelief.16 September 2013 www.kemptownrag.co.uk

Catherine Cook-SomeThings that I cook(when I should be writing)I am one of life’s great procrastinators. Why donow what I could put off until tomorrow? Where’sthe fun in that? Popular wisdom encourages us toroot for the slow plodding tortoise over the friskyhare. I’m not so sure. There is a lot to be said forthe last minute thrill of scraping a deadline overthe tedium of a task finally done.Procrastination is not to be confused with laziness,however. Oh no. It requires a very particular type offocus to create a list of things that don’t need to bedone, in order to avoid the things that do. Whichbrings me neatly to kitchen. Three meals a day, everysingle day. Vital sustenance for those frantic, workinghours ahead. Fellow procrastinators - food is yourfriend! So, tireless in our efforts to bring you theauthentic Kemptown experience:You’ve read the columns, now eat the food.As the final wisps of BBQ smoke waft fragrantly acrossKemptown, signalling summer’s demise, here are afew things I’ve been knocking up in the kitchen (whenI really should have been writing). It’s our first summerwith a garden, so BBQs have been big in our homethis year. And while I love a char-grilled chicken wingor a juicy burger as much as the next person, it’s thebits on the side I like best. Crunchy coleslaw and fiery,tomato relish. Cucumber shards, flecked with freshmint and curled into cool yogurt. Sweet roasted redand yellow peppers, glistening jewel-like in garlicscented oil. These are the things you’ll find me puttingtogether while Mr C struggles home with theweightier haul of meat and charcoal.Which is not to imply that a bit-on-the-side is forwimps. Burning to a point of juicy sweetness, orpitching chillies against mint is not for the fainthearted!With a nod to Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstalland a curtsey to Gizzie Erskine - here’s my favouriteway with aubergines this summer. The brutality (andthe potato masher) are entirely my own.If you’d like Catherine to Cook-Some-More, or ifyou’d like to share your own Kemptown recipes withus, email haveyoursay@kemptownrag.co.ukFor more tales of Kemptown, find Catherine at:www.whileiamthinkingaboutit.comCommunity newsSeeking Sussex’snext Young Chefof the YearThe award-winning Sodexo Prestige team, whorecently won a five year contract to cater at theAmex Stadium, will sponsor the Sussex YoungChef of the Year category in the Sussex Food &Drink Awards 2013/14… and have extended thedeadline for nominations until 6th September.Do you know of any brilliant culinary talent, aged 16to 25, working or studying in the county? Getinvolved and nominate them by 6th September, orperhaps encourage them to nominate themselves!These top UK contract caterers, known for theirquality catering at Ascot and other major sportingevents, will also prepare the Sussex foodie event ofthe year, the Sussex Food & Drink AwardsBanquet, at the Amex Stadium on Thursday 30thJanuary 2014.Vote now for your favourites atwww.sussexfoodawards.bizButch Baba Ghanoush- Pierce two large aubergines with a small knife ora fork. Blacken them under a hot grill, or over hotcoals, turning them frequently until the skin isproperly burnt and the flesh feels soft to thetouch. This will take between 10 and 15 minutes.- Slash the aubergines from top to bottom andleave them in a colander to let the watery juicesdrain. When they are cool enough to handle, peeloff the skin and put the flesh into a robust bowl,big enough for a bit of bashing.- Bash the aubergine flesh into a rough paste. Fortwo aubergines, a fork will do the job nicely. Ifyou’re doubling the amount, a potato masherworks a treat.- Butch up the texture with a tablespoon ofsmooth peanut butter. Tahini is more traditional,but I find the sesame-seed paste a little bit dry.- Finally, spike the flavour. Mix in a squeeze oflemon juice and a grated clove of garlic if youwant to keep things simple. Spoon into a servingbowl and finish with a slug of olive oil.- If you want a bit more punch, try grilling a chilliwith the aubergines. Peel it when it is blackenedand cool enough to touch. Pound the chilli fleshwith one clove of garlic and some sea salt in apestle and mortar until you have a smooth paste.Add to the aubergine mix. Or, add a spicy hit withdry fried, crushed cumin seeds, or a dust ofpaprika, sprinkled just before serving.Best served with BBQ’d flat breads (pitta workstoo), or salted tortilla chips.And now, pour a glass of whatever you fancy, sitback and let your friends loose on the BBQ. Yourwork, until tomorrow at least, is elegantly avoided.Have Your SayDear Ragsters,Hello Rag team!This is a shout out to your readers to tellthem about a conference on 18th Septemberat the University of Brighton's Grand Paradecampus. It’s hosting presentations andworkshops to help develop understanding ofLGBT and queer life stories, histories andexperiences in Brighton. I came across detailsof this conference through a friend and thinkit’s really important to spread the word, sothat it’s well attended. It does cost money soI suppose it’s not accessible to everybody -£25 full price, or £15 concession – but itincludes lunch. ‘Queer in Brighton’ are cohosting,and you can find out all about it ontheir website: www.queerinbrighton.co.ukEveryone who identifies as LGBTQ or isinterested in supporting should go! I will bethere.Tim G., Kemptown.Send your comments toeditor@kemptownrag.co.ukTo advertise your business, service or eventcall 01273 687171 or simply visit our website,to find out more at www.kemptownrag.co.ukwww.kemptownrag.co.uk September 2013 17

Richard HollisBack Chat:reader’s questionDear RichardI'm 6ft 3 and have had bad posture for most of myadult life. I sometimes get pain in the small of myback, my shoulders and my neck, but I find it reallyhard to remember to stand and sit properly. Isthere anything I can do?Being taller than average can make you more proneto back trouble. Desks, chairs and beds are oftendesigned around ‘average build’. Some furniture isadjustable, though, and you should make sure it’sadjusted for you.It is worth following a few rules for yourworkstation as closely as possible to help reducediscomfort:1. Have your chair height adjusted so that yourhips are slightly higher than yourknees. This means some of yourweight is transferred forwards throughyour knees and feet rather than allthrough your back.2. Make sure your keyboard andmouse are used with your upperarms relaxed by your side and yourshoulders relaxed. Reaching for yourequipment means the shouldermuscles have to contract and the armmuscles stretch, increasing thechances of tension and pain arising.3. Your screen should be directly in front ofyou, at arm’s length and with the top of thescreen (not the monitor) at eyebrow height.4. Move more. Have a change in posture atleast once an hour. Try standing if a colleaguecomes to speak to you, the phone rings or you arereading a paper document. Go for a walk atlunchtime rather than sitting down.The right kind of exercise is also important. Whetheryou are already exercising or not, nearly everyonewith back trouble can improve things by improvingspinal and core mobility and strength. It’s best to getsome guidance from a qualified person to make sureyou are doing the correct exercises for you, butimproving your core and spinal muscle strength andflexibility is central to any back exercise plan. Thiscan be done at a class, be it pilates, yoga, the gymor at home; what’s important is finding a methodthat suits you. This increases the chances of youactually doing these exercises!Get your back checked by a specialist. Pain canoften be helped with some manual therapy andexpert advice. The National Institutefor Health and Clinical Excellence(NICE) says that manipulation from achiropractor, osteopath or speciallytrained physiotherapist should bepart of effective care for back pain,alongside exercises. A short course ofspecialist treatment will often restorestrength and flexibility to the back,allowing you to get back to fullactivity. Once you have the initialproblem under control and the painhas resolved, there is some evidencethat a periodic session of treatmentcan help prevent back pain from recurring in manypeople.Richard Hollis BSc DCis chiropractor at Sundial Chiropractic Clinic,52 St James’s Street01273 69641418 September 2013 www.kemptownrag.co.uk

Alexander LovellThe inhuman tragedy of the cat whowanted to be a dogNow, this is embarrassing.An advert has made me sad. And not just sad, but almost inconsolable. I sawit on TV about a month ago. It started innocently: a montage of a bored cat’slife, Erik Satie piano music. And the voiceover: “First, I was a cat. Then I gotbored of being a cat.” The cat then realises his call from the wild - Flash’sTheme by Queen plays, peppier, poppier - and he transforms and discovers his‘true self’. “Then,” the voiceover says as the cat catches a frisbee, “I decidedto become a dog. It was much better. I could run, play and fetch. I could …”“Why be a cat when you could be a dog?”That itself didn’t leave me inconsolable. That came later. I wrotethis on Sunday July 7th, and it had been a good day - swimming,a visit to Arundel, Andy Murray winning Wimbledon. But,walking through Churchill Square, I saw posters in a phone shopwindow showing the very same cat fetching a stick, and it wasthese posters, inexplicably, which made me sad. Not a typicalsadness, but a very intense, poignant sadness. Like someoneshowing you an amputated, closely guarded memory - likewatching someone burn your old Christmas cards.Now, it could just be that I adore cats. Adverts with cats evade my cynicism and gostraight to my heart. For example, I feel almost guilty not buying Whiskerswhenever I see their adverts, despite not even having a cat. But, I think it’s deeper.Being a cynical, 21st Century British internet man, I hunt emotions. Obviously, everyday I feel sleepy, nostalgic, tired, happy, frustrated by red light dodging cyclists…but I mostly search for ‘oneness’. For example, when I hear Aphex Twin, readVirginia Woolf, or watch The Wire this creates genuine, tiny artistic personalmoments which could never have been faked. Let’s call them poignant moments.These have been growing increasingly rare, which is causing me some anxiety.However, this advert, of all things, felt poignant. Except that instead of oceanicpeace, I’m left inconsolable! I suspect this has something to do with modernadvertising trends. Advertising nowadays seems to be the new biggest provider of‘poignant moments’. Adverts used to sell us a product to access a previouslyinaccessible, glamorous life. This is changing. Now they are mostly selling us waysto facilitate our present lives, which are already full of poignant moments. They areour unseen friends, supposedly. These new adverts have forsaken irony, and insteadhave embraced deep, poetic poignancy. They say, ‘listen, you don’t need to strive.We’ll help you enjoy what you have.’ So, watching these adverts creates a twingeof poignancy, like someone else out there feels the same everyday poetry as you.That connection makes the emotion last, and you are less likely to forget the advertthe next time you shop.It startedinnocently: amontage of abored cat’s life, ErikSatie piano music...I have a pity-love for the people who make these adverts, which are at onceartistic and disposable. It seems a shame that the most truly creative peoplenowadays, instead of earning money and kudos through books and music -perhaps because there’s so little money in them anymore - are helping somethingto sell. Something that was probably not made to capture poignancy, butcustomers.So, finally, I phoned up my dad, and asked him why I - a 26 year-old British malewith a steady job and relationship - was suddenly emotionally stricken by thisadvert for a phone company. He explained that it might have been a bit of aProustian thing: my old cat, Merlin, was a sorrel Abyssinian- a divine breed - who behaved in a very canine way. Heopened doors, stole food and greeted you. I adored him,and his life was too short. I miss him. After my dad told methis, it suddenly made a lot of sense. This deep sadness wasbecause the advert was tapping into my subconsciousmemory and digging out, by mistake, my lovely personalmemories of a treasured, living companion, and was using itto sell a product that accidentally touched me in a way veryfew things have in the last few months - poignantly, like apiece of art. And all this just to improve my connectivity options.I still don’t think I’ll buy the product, though.Alexander Lovell is a writer and cat-lover, working in Kemptown.www.kemptownrag.co.uk September 2013 19

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