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What’s Inside 03 LETTER FROM EDITOR04 HOW TO STOPWORRYING AND STARTLIVING08 THE BUTTERFLYEFFECT- HOW YOUR LIFEMATTERS10 DREAMING BIG!14 ONE CHOICE15 BLANK CANVAS-WHAT MAKES US WHO WEBECOME19 5 SIGNS YOU’VEFORGOTTEN YOURSELF22 SILENCING THE INNERCRITIC2


Letter From EditorWELCOME, friends!Self-discovery is a road we have totake at some point in our life. Ah, knowyour true YOU! We are ever changing,evolving and revolving.The need for a discovery of yourpersonal caterpillar to butterfly effectpresents the Value of You! Have youconsider your value as a person?Through life’s journey, I discovered it’svery word seems to speak to a deeperpart of “self” that needs to be nurturedand revered.Welcome ToMetamorphosis!Be Inspired,Enriched andEmpowered ForYourTransformation! Let’s understand it through the eye ofa caterpillar while it lives only to eat.Soon as it starts to go through themetamorphosis transformation. Boom!It has a new worthy value and a newdivine purpose.I hope that this magazine will helpyour metamorphosis. It's a journey;it’s all about the Value of YOU!Editor In ChiefJoyce Agbetunsinjoyce@metamorphosis-appzine.com3


How to Stop Worrying and Start LivingToday, more than ever, we need to learn how tohandle worry. We are definitely a worried and anxiouspeople and our worry seems to be increasing everyday. If we don't learn how to control or at leastmanage worry, we risk losing our emotional andphysical health and ultimately the joy of living.A life of worry brings with it anxiety, stress, frustrationand anger which inevitably result in a loss of joy andhope. Prior to September 11 we worried about manythings-getting old, losing our hair, heights, water,mice, speaking in public etc. All these seem rathertrivial in light of the terror experienced on that insaneday in September.4


I REFUSE TO LIVEENGULFED BY WORRY.In my talks and seminarsthroughout Canada I tellpeople that, while they have nocontrol over the events of life,they have total control overtheir response to these events.This is where we begin towage our battle with worry.Here are a few suggestions I have found helpful in my struggleto overcome worry. Reflect on them. Select those you findappropriate and prepare your own battle plan. YOU ARE INCONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. Don't let worry prevent you fromgoing for the gusto and living the only life you have to thefullest.• Say this many times throughout your day. "95 percent ofwhat I worry about will never happen and the five percentthat does happen will never be as bad as I envision.”• Worry is like a rocking chair; it will give you something to dobut won't get you anywhere.* Picture yourself living fully and happily in the midst of turmoil.We do tend to live out of our vision.5


* Take all reasonableprecautions and then get onwith the business of livingwell.* Say to yourself, "I REFUSETO BE RULED BY WORRY."Make humorand laughter ahuge part ofyour daily lifeno matter whatcircumstancesyou are in.L a u g h t e r i sgood therapya n d a v e r ypleasantdiversion fromyour worries.* Search your HolyBook for inspiration andhope. " Fret notbecause of evil doersbut overcome evil; withgoodness.”* Think thoughts ofpeace, not thoughts ofaffliction.* Lose yourself in action or youwill wither in despair.There is nothing morehazardous to your health thanworrying about losing it. MM"Live in peace, Live in joy, Livein love Live in hope and youcan conquer any adversity. MMSomeone oncetold me that Ishouldschedule aworry timeeach daySay 15 minute duringwhich I can worry my littlehead off. If a worry comesto mind outside your worrytime dismiss it and sayyou'll worry about it duringworry time. What you willfind is that once youdismiss the anxiousthought you will forgetabout it even during worrytime. It works. Give it a try.6


This is an excerpt from Mike's popular book, "Embracing theMystery" (Living the Life You Want) You will want to check it outhttp://motivationalplus.com/cgi/a/t.cgi?mysteryArticle Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Mike_Moore7


The Power of TransformationWorld Proverb 9


Dreaming Big!By Pat MussieuxAre your dreamsstill in a drawer?When I worked withThe Pacific Instituteand facilitatedworkshops aroundthe country.I r e m e m b e rspeaking with som a n y b a b yboomers who toldm e t h a t t h e i rdreams had beenput in a drawermany years ago."They had beenfocused on theirmarriage, theirchildren, theirjobs - and thedreams just hadto wait.I fall into that trapmyself.The good news,for me, is that Isurround myselfwith people whohelp me to dreambig and to keepthose dreamsuppermost in mind.Before I travelledaround the world(3x) in a privateplane, I never evenknew that kind oftrip existed.10


That is one of the reasons you need to up-level the peopleyou spend time with - and that is just one of the tips I havefor you when we start talking about dreaming big.So what does it take?Here are the steps I take, on a regular basis, toensure my dreams never get stuck in a drawer.#1: WRITE DOWN YOUR DESCRIPTION OFTHE PERFECT DAY.If money, time and circumstances were no object - if failurewas not an option - just exactly what would yourdescription of the perfect day be? Take out a piece ofpaper and write that down. Make it clear, concise and addemotion words. Stop and read that, several times a day,and keep it in a place where you can see it often - perhapson a bulletin board in your office, perhaps as the wallpaperon your computer, perhaps take a picture of it and carry iton your I-phone. Once this gets imprinted in your creativesubconscious, let your mind go to work. You will beamazed!TIP #2: BREAK DOWN THATDESCRIPTION INTO GOALSI take different pieces of that'perfect day' description andbreak it down into specificgoals.For example, a perfect day would include a fun fitness routine(such as I did daily in Palm Springs with Louise - we did theJillian Michaels 'Ripped in 30 Days" workout together - so muchfun!).11


I now commit to a FUNworkout each and every day.Travel is high on my prioritylist - I make a point of visitingthe bookstore regularly andI read through magazines likeDream Islands, or 100 Placesto Visit Before You Die.Get a really clear, high level, picture of what it is you wantin your life.TIP #3: SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WHOFIT THE DREAMThere are many people in life who just 'settle'. Goodenough is good enough. When you are a high-achieverand a big dreamer, these people are not right for youanymore. You need to surround yourself with people whothink BIG, who dream BIG, who work BIG, who do BIG.You become the average of the 5 people you spend timewith. Who's on your list? Who stays? Who must go? It's upto you.KEEP IN MIND THAT WE ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE TO LIVE!And this is it! Want to live a life without regrets? Want to drivearound in a Mercedes convertible in Palm Springs? Want toclimb the mountains in Sedona and do yoga/meditation for aday? Think about what you really want - and then make ithappen. You have the power. It's your life. This is NOT a dressrehearsal.12


What are your BIG dreams and what are you prepared todo to make them come true?About the Author: Pat Mussieux owner and founder ofWealthy Women Leaders, is the shoot-from-the-hipbusiness building mentor. She has coached andmentored thousands of women entrepreneurs in herprograms. Having surpassed the multiple six- figure markherself in just over three years, she coaches her clients tocreate profitable businesses. An award-winningentrepreneur, Pat is a coach, author, and TV host. Learnmore about Pat at www.PatMussieux.com13


Blank Canvas: What Makes UsWho We BecomeBy Lungisa “Mimi” SonqisheWhat Makes Us Who WeBecome?I love the idea of a brandnew start. Starting over, withan absolutely clean canvas.Sort of like when we areborn, free of ideas,concepts, beliefs or notions.The idea that, we havelearned everything we knowfrom anyone and everyonewho has ever come incontact with us, is intriguing.Moreover, the thought thatwe have absorbedinformation from everythingthat we have ever seen,heard, felt, touched ortasted, brands life as evenmore mysterious."As long as you're true toyou, you believe it andyou make others believe,then what you're doing isjust art. If you givee v e r y b o d y a b l a n kcanvas and some paint,not everybody's picture isgoing to be exactly thesame, but it's still art. Ijust do what I do." JakeOwenNow, to think that we arewho we are -or think we are- because of all theseinteractions, experiences,relationships andcontributions, is mindboggling.Some of thislearning or knowledge musthave been absorbedsubliminally, some musthave been acceptedvoluntarily and some wasenforced, surely.15


Painted Pictures We are now painted pictures, no longer clean canvases.These pictures portray learnt rules, regulations, guidelines,principles, opinions, doctrines, dogmas and the differentways of BEING. However, none of us are characterized bythe same depiction. We are unique, part of it is becauseour canvases were painted by different painters trying toillustrate their discernment of the bigger-picture.Since birth, as clean canvases, we had everyone thatcame our path; pick up a paintbrush saturated with thecolour of their choice, paint away on our lovely pure selves.Some of these artists are very skilled at their craft and theycarefully painted lovely mirages as they perceived them.Some are not really sure of what they are doing, but try todo their very best. Others, however, do not know what theyare doing and they do not care how they are doing it, theyjust add their brush strokes to the canvas anyway.16


"We are born into the World Like a blank canvasAnd each person that crosses our path Takes up thebrush and makes his mark Upon our surface, so it is thatwe develop. But we must realize there comes a day Thatwe must take up the brush and finish the work. For onlywe can determine If we are to be Just another paintingor a Masterpiece”By Steven Javan JonesWhy paint differentlyNow here we are, beautifulcanvases, with different artforms depicted by manydifferent artists. I must alsoadd that some of us sharethe same artists i.e. the sameparents, the same country,same school teacher, sameculture and so on. However,as pointed out, even theartists we share, paintdifferently each time, theynever paint the same image.Why is that? After all, wecould be sitting in the sameclass, listening to the sameteacher, telling us the samething. Then why is shepainting differently on eachand every one of us?Perhaps it has something todo with the fact that we allcame bearing differentpictures already depicted onour canvases. Consequently,the next artist works with theavailable space on thecanvas and uses theavailable colour on the colourpalette.Here is a question, whathappens when we wake upone day and suddenly we areaware of the labels andidentities that have becomesynonymous with who weare?17


What if one day we strongly feel that the painting doesnothing to represent who we believe we are?"I am not a typical human being. I am me and don't try to beanything but that because God didn't give us all differentfingerprints if he wanted us all to be the same."- Tammy WoosterWho do I choose to becomeHow do we start over? How do we erase the picture and paintsomething that we believe characterises our true essence? Isthe desire to start over with a clean canvas denies who weare and where we came from? Or are we truly defined byrules, culture, laws, race, regulations, opinions and beliefsystems? Finally, what about our part as creative artists...how do we paint on canvases that come our way at any givenmoment?Perhaps we are meant to be great artists. Perhaps it alldepends on what kind of painters we choose to be. Do wechoose to paint beautiful mansions with many doors andwindows that lead to many different possibilities, or do wechoose to paint dungeons with no way out?Lungisa “Mimi” Sonqishe, is a Personal Brand, Career & LifeCoach. She is based in Cape Town, South Africa, known forher creative imagination, inspiring nature and assertiveness.She takes joy in sharing and acquiring knowledge. PersonalBranding and Life Coaching are her areas of specialty.www.eleven11.co.za18


5 Signs You’ve Forgotten YourselfBy Ivana PejakovicWithout a doubt, the easiest person to forget is yourself. Andjust because you manage to feed yourself and put on cleanclothes each day, doesn't mean you're giving yourself the timeand attention you need and deserve.This is especially true if you think of yourself as a strongwoman, as a survivor. The tougher you think you are, the moreyou're likely to push and push and push without giving yourselfa second thought.But even survivors need to take time out. Just like a gas tank,if you keep giving and giving, you'll run out of fuel. Theproblem is that it's not up to others to stop by your tank andrefill it with energy. That's your job. And if you're waiting onothers you may be waiting for a long time while feelings ofresentment and anger continue to build because no oneremembers to think you of you for a change.It's time you think of yourself first. Here are clues to help youfigure out if you've forgotten yourself. If you answer yes to 2or more of the criteria below, you're either on your way to19forgetting yourself or you have already completely forgottenyou exist.


Use these clues as your first step in gettingback into touch with who you are.You can't answer thequestion "Who are You?"Go ahead, see if you can.It shouldn't take more than8 seconds for you to comeup with an answer. Whattypes of things come tomind about yourself? Doyou mention what you doat work? Do you mentionyour role as a familymember? What about anylabels you have aboutyourself? If you did...OOOPPSS!None of those haveanything to do with whoyou are. Who you are isc o m p r i s e d o f y o u rstrengths, your values, andyour psychological needs.Do you know yours? Doyou know how to figurethem out? Take time foryourself to get to knowyourself.You're not quite sure whatyour current interests are. Ifanyone asked you what typesof things you were interestedin, chances are you wouldn'treally know how to answer it.Either you would mentionthings that really don't light upanything inside or the sameinterests you've had from 15to 20 years ago.Are you sure you're still thesame person? Perhaps yourtastes and interests haveevolved, yet, you still hang onto the old ones since youdon't take time to think aboutnew possibilities.20


You have almost no hobbies and aren't part ofextracurricular activities. I'm willing to bet you push your kidsto be a part of after school activities. Why? Because it wouldbe good for them to develop their skills, hang out with newkids and make some new friends. So... Couldn't you giveyourself the same advice? Hobbies and extracurricularactivities are necessary to grow and if you don't haveanything going on, you've certainly forgotten about whatstimulates you.You're starting to feel angry and bitter after doing somethingfor others. It's impossible to keep giving without starting tofeel used a little, especially if you're helping others whenyour own plate is overflowing with responsibilities. Spendingtoo much time on others also suggests you're a peoplepleaser. And with so many people in your life who need to bepleased, how do you ever have time for yourself?You're always tired. The first thing you may do after feelingtired for a while is go to your doctor to check if your bloodwork is OK. And that's great because you rule outpossibilities. But when your tests come back A-OK, it's asign that you're probably not giving yourself enoughrecuperation time. You're running around on auto-pilotwithout tuning in to what your body is telling you. Part oftreating yourself well is giving yourself enough rest time ANDplay time. It's the only way to stay motivated and happy inlife.Ivana Pejakovic B.Sc., MA is Empowerment Coach forWomen. She empowers women with the courage to becomeall that they can achieve by rebuilding their self-esteem.www.lifecoachintoronto.com21


Silencing The Inner CriticWe all have that voice inside ourheads. We may not like to admitit but it is there. Just when youfeel brave enough to dosomething new or different, itsuddenly pipes up - "who do youthink you are?" "who wants tohear from you", "what if peoplelaugh", "you stupid, fat, b****".We are plagued with commentssimilar - all about who are we tomake people listen to us and whywould anyone be interested.Take this scenario:By Zita StanleyAs a child we have somesense of self - that's my toy,my mummy etc. This is onelevel of identity - ownership.We hear conversationsbetween adults and weabsorb their principles andideals (we don't have our ownyet). It is the group dynamic atwork - we support the sameteams etc. We are learningwhat is expected from thegroup and any "outsiders" ordifferent opinion is bad.It's the voice of the innercritic and it stops youfrom speaking up andputting yourself "outthere". But if you everstop to really listen to theinner critic - whose voicedo you here? Is it yours?Is it someone from yourpast? Is it a parent?Whoever it is, what youare really listening to istheir fears projected onyou with a combinationof your own mind tryingto "protect" you in someway.The next level is how weare viewed by this groupand it starts with our familyunit, extends to outer family,school (all adults) and thenour peers' viewsIf the message you receiveas a child is that you goodfor nothing, a waste ofspace, will never amount toanything, how will that makeyou feel – bad.22


If this message is re-enforced at school by a teacher tellingyou are stupid, again this supplies further "evidence" ofyour failings. This child will either be a very insecure adultor very angry at the world. This is an extreme case but youcan see how the inner critic can evolve in this person.Compound this with reading out loud in class and stumblingover words and all you hear is laughing and perhaps theteacher goading the behavior - this time your mind, in itsprotective role, wants you to disappear so you never haveto go through this again. Each time you have to speak outin class, you feel nervous and anxious anticipating the badfeelings and being laughed at. So you develop avoidancepatterns.All of these components makeit difficult then to be someoneelse. Each time you "try" to bedifferent to have moreconfidence, you are collapsedinternally by these negativethoughts and memories offeeling anxious and uneasy.Even though you havematured into adulthood, thepain that began in childhood isstill in a child's level of maturity.You will always be the littlechild being berated or putdown in some way.23


But once you canunderstand this is outsideprogramming and thesources of this informationprojected their own issuesand fears onto you,doesn't that give you somepower back. It is not reallywho you are. Yes, youendured being laughed atbut when you think back,how many others did thesame thing happen to. Youwere not alone.Another step is to identifywhere inside you the innercritic lives and how itmanifests itself - is a radio,or like the Wizard of Oz, abig head - what happenswhen you pull back thecurtains. It is petty andmean because of fear -fear that you will goagainst, fear that you willbe brave enough to dowhat it is afraid of. It feedsoff your fear and the moreafraid you are which is reenforcedeach time youstop yourself doingsomething, the stronger itbecomes.What do you think wouldhappen if you set yourself atask and completed it - whatwould that do your inner critic?You begin to break down thesupportive "evidence" - I putevidence in quotation marksbecause it is not true evidence.If you want to be different, thenyou have do somethingdifferently. It may surprise youthat things are not as difficult asyou build it up inside your head.So what if everything does notgo your way, you did it or youdidn't. It is a choice. Forgetabout "trying". Trying is lying.You have already failed whenyou say you will "try"something. In the words of thatgreat philosopher Yoda - thereis do or not do, there is no try.Be free and switch off yourinner critic by doing something 24that scares you.


Everyone has the power to silence their inner critic. Itstarts with calmness and quietness and looking inward.The way to bring the inner critic to life is to think aboutsome change you want to make (if doing this by yourselfmake the change something small) and you will start tohear the internal dialogue of what can wrong and howyou should not do it.Give this entity a shape or identity - finds its volume,move it and then visualise yourself doing the new thing.The next step is to take action and go and do it. As youbecome stronger and more self assured, the inner criticwill shut up for good.Zita Stanley a Coach and Author. She has written anebook called "Transformation through Journaling, autosuggestion and NLP techniques" which is available onAmazon. She practices in Ireland and offer coaching viaSkype. www.zitastanley.com25

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