CARLTON BYRD

medicine was his true calling. He had on a mission trip overseas. I was so
been serving as the lay youth leader at excited! I knew it would change his life,
the local Adventist church and found but I never anticipated that it would
himself neck high in ministry rather change mine. I was more excited than he
than immersed in Northwestern’s
was because I had recently worked for
Chapter
highly rigorous academics. Not everyone
gets into a program that gives you a
straight acceptance to medical school
without sitting for the MCAT, * so realizing
what would be jeopardized by a
change in plans, I blasted him with sisterly
advice: “Finish your last semester
and then, maybe, think about seminary,”
I said. “Don’t make such a rash decision
at a dusty crossroad; wait on the Lord.”
And my best one: “Take time away from
this academic surrounding by serving as
a student missionary overseas.”
This last thought was not at all farfetched.
Recently returned from Palau
myself, I was preaching from my postmission
high.
I still remember his gentle, consistent
reply: “Sis, there is so much to do here
in the U.S. I don’t need to go overseas to
find a mission field or a ministry; the
person next to me is my mission field.”
My brother lived his own life story. It
didn’t make any sense to me for him to
switch paths at that point; but somehow,
even with all the prodding, in my heart I
knew it was the right thing for him.
Brian had found peace in his decision
and heeded the call to pastoral ministry.
He immediately transferred to Andrews
University to enroll in the seminary.
Life Changer for Me
A few years later, Brian and I had a
surprise announcement for each other.
My news was that he was going to be an
uncle. His news was that he was going
the Adventist Volunteer Center at the
General Conference office and had interacted
with student missionaries and
volunteers from all over the world. I
was very enthusiastic about mission
service overseas—and now my own
brother was finally going to experience
it for himself. As the Science Department
chair at Garden State Academy in
New Jersey and pastor of a local church,
Brian would be joining a conferenceorganized
mission team going to El Salvador.
The group included Garden State
Academy students, with my brother
serving as a chaperone.
Then late one night during the mission
trip the phone rang. I was six
months pregnant and feeling very nauseated,
so I couldn’t answer it. Later I called
my mom to find out what was going on.
My uncle answered the phone, and then I
knew something was terribly wrong. It
was about the El Salvador mission trip.
After a week of building an orphanage,
the students and chaperones decided to go
wading in the water along the beautiful
shores of a small town. A spontaneous, roaring
riptide swept them up, and without hesitation
my brother and a lifeguard rushed
into the water to rescue them. One by one,
each student was brought safely ashore. As
the last student was pulled in, he turned to
hear my brother’s last cry, “Help me, Jesus!”
He simply had run out of strength.
Senseless Loss
How could a loving God ignore such
an earnest plea? How much more earnest
could such a plea be? Why would
He allow the life of such a faithful and
bold soldier for Christ to end at the age
of 26? For someone so overflowing with
advice, at that moment I had
no answers.
My mind wrestled for reason
and hope; despair overwhelmed
me. I sank into a
flood of anger. I hopelessly
sought the peace that my
brother had relentlessly lived
by. I desperately scrambled to
retract any credit for planting the idea
of serving in an overseas mission. In the
midst of my anguish, it took me a long
time to realize that Christ had been gently
tapping on my shoulder to tell me
something that would give me a fragment
of peace:
My child, Lilian, Brian is not lost. I have
not lost him; and you have not lost him either.
His life is on pause. You did not send him to
his death. He found a reason to live that was
worth dying for. Besides, he is not gone from
you forever. There are so many more pages to
add to the chapters of his life.
Renewed Hope
Since that tragic time I have experienced
a long and winding voyage, but I
have now caught a glimpse of the waves
of hope and peace in Him. In the words
of a traveler on a similar journey, “My life
with my brother has been put on pause,
. . . but it will be continued in a short
while, . . . and this story has no end.”
“Jesus said to her, ‘I am the resurrection, and
the life. The one who believes in me will live, even
though they die; and whoever lives by believing
in me will never die’ ” (John 11:25, 26). n
* standardized multiple-choice exam taken by prospective
medical students
Born and raised in New York,
Lilian Han Im grew up wanting
to teach children. She and her
husband are now homeschooling
their own children, Alexis
and Austin, in Richmond, California.
www.AdventistReview.org | February 21, 2013 | (157) 29