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8 DAYS A WEEK... Advocate picks... By Ygal Kaufman Thursday, October 29 VANDFALD AND JT NICKEL Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free Vandfald is a band. I think. I don’t know, I don’t really care. Here’s the real scoop; JT Nickel is a f*cking yoyoer or yoyoist. Or whatever they’re called. Jesus, I don’t even know what to call professional yoyo performers, but this guy is one of those. He’s sponsored by Eugene’s One Drop Yo-Yos, purveyors of pro-level Oregon-made yo-yos. Are you goddamn kidding me, kids-these-days? This yo-yo website looks like a skateboard company site. Is this really a thing? They sell enough high-priced, hand-built yo-yos to justify a whole industry with sponsored stars and everything? I thought video games killed you, yo-yos, what are you doing here? And how is this a live show? Obviously if you’re not at the CMNYK Halloween double feature, you have to go to this show. Where it should again be noted something called Vandfald will also be. http:// onedropyoyos.com/team/jt-nickel; http://vandfaldmusic. com/ COMMUNITY MOVIE NIGHT WITH YGAL KAUFMAN HALLOWEEN SPECIAL Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. 7 p.m. Free Oh hi there, CMNYK Halloween double feature. If you didn’t get your fill of classic movies and other junk on the big screen, then you’re in luck. For the second year in a row, there’s a CMNYK double feature of spooky/ silly classic horror at the spooky/silly Darkside Cinema. At 7 p.m. it’s Vincent Price in The Tingler (1959) and then at 9 p.m. Arch Hall Jr. stars in the cult classic The Sadist (1963). For free. Happy Halloween. Friday, October 30 30 LB. TEST AND RADION Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. $5 Just when I wasn’t sure if Corvallis was even passingly familiar with hard rock, two of our favorite frequenters stop by for some face meltage. Radion rocks hard as fudge, and they play here a lot, so don’t be the one person at your bridge club saying, “Who are these whippersnappers I’ve been hearing so much about? Radio or something? They sound like a bunch of tight pant-wearing criminals! Gin.” You say “gin” when you win at bridge, right? I’m not ashamed to admit I haven’t got the first f*cking clue how bridge is played or what the object of the game is, or if it’s even really a game and not a big practical joke senior citizens have been playing on the rest of the world for years, so we’d leave them alone to their sex and cocaine parties. What? Only my grandparents, huh? Anyway. 30 lb. Test and Radion: better than gin, and twice as rummy. https://www.facebook. com/30poundtest/; https://radionsucks.bandcamp. com/releases WAIT FOR THE BLACKOUT Majestic Theatre, 115 SW 2nd St. 8 p.m. $12 ($10 for members, seniors, students) I have no idea what to expect from this horror play, so I’m advising everyone to go. What is a horror play? Is there even a mild possibility of being scared by a play? Seems unlikely. Unlike comedy, horror lives in the close-up, not the long-shot, so that makes it particularly hard to be scary on stage. Now being scared on stage, that’s something I know a thing or two about. I once worked as a dancer at an exotic club that featured out-of-shape men dressed in sexy pheasant costumes and dancing for people dressed as Victorian English hunters, who would “tip” the dancers by shooting airsoft rifles at us. And that place was only half as horrifying and full of surprises as this play, which deals with zombies and horror film tropes, promises to be. With an endorsement like that how could you possibly not go? I mean to the play, not Prince George’s Sexy Shooting Gallery… or, I don’t know, screw it. I meant both. Saturday, October 31 THAT COYOTE’S TEMPLE OF HORROR (WITH THE SHY SEASONS), Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 9 p.m. Free What could notoriously not-scary guys That Coyote have up their sleeves? What is going to make this particular synagogue so horrifying? I mean, the temple I was Bar Mitzvah’d in was pretty terrifying, but that had mostly to do with the 137-year-old rabbi who kept looking at me disapprovingly. I guess he’d never seen someone replace their haftarah portion with the lyrics from Cherry Pie by Warrant. So again I ask, what is going to make this temple so scary? I have no idea. But That Coyote is fantastic and the Shy Seasons are nothing to sneeze at either. Free Halloween music babies. This is all treat and no trick. https://www.facebook.com/ThatCoyote https://www.facebook.com/TheShySeasons FALL DRAG SHOW 2015 La Sells Stewart Center, 875 SW 26th St. 7 p.m. $5 (free with OSU ID) Speaking of trick-free treats, it’s the OSU Fall Drag Show, basically the best thing you can possibly do on Halloween. Besides raising a demonic spirit in the woods that destroys your tiny mountain town, of course. This show promises an all-star lineup of Benton County’s best drag queens, and a rowdy audience full of fun-loving beavers. At $5, this is easily going to be the hottest time, on a dollar-for-dollar basis, that can be had in Corvallis. Sunday, November 1 BLUES JAM! Calapooia Brewing Company, 140 NE Hill St., Albany. 4 to 6 p.m. Free A blues jam is street slang for when a person propositions an undercover cop thinking they’re a hooker. But then before the cop can arrest them, the prospective john offers so much money the cop decides doing the deed is a better deal and takes the money. I’m not saying this has anything to do with the free music that will be available at the Pooia on Sunday. I’m just telling you something I know from experience—er, I mean, from a book I read. Not from experience. Unless you call reading a book an experience, which readers of my entertainment column are aware, I don’t. HOOLYEH INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCING First Congregational United Church, 4515 SW West Hills Rd. 7 p.m. $3 ($2 for CFS members) This kick*ss twice monthly folk dancing jam offered for free by the Corvallis Folk Society comes in two flavors: Israeli and Balkan. This is the Balkan version of the dance gathering which means there will be significantly fewer of my Israeli relatives in attendance, and probably a slightly higher chance of an appearance by my Romanian relatives. Fortunately for everyone involved they won’t both be there, because they hate each other, and we’re all loud obnoxious brutes unafraid to make a public spectacle. So I guess what I’m saying is enjoy this awesome folkdancing event, and please RSVP for my family reunion ASAP as tickets are going fast… Submit: Do you know of an upcoming event? Email us and we’ll add it to the web calendar calendar@corvallisadvocate.com Buy Cheap • Sell Books • Trade priCeless Books A Tradition of Making Chocolate By Hand ESPRESSo, GREaT FooD & LoCaL aRTiSTS... 11/4 House Concert with “Todelo Shakers”, 7-9pm 11/5 Darrell McElmurry, (guitar) 7:30-9pm 11/6 Chuka Boa (Colleen Dick), 7-9pm 11/13 Revelin (Evelyn), 7:30-9pm Every Monday: Every Tuesday: Every Saturday: Bryson Skaar, piano, 7:30-9pm Celtic Jam, 7-9pm Story Time, 10 am 5460 SW Philomath Blvd — www.imaginecoffee.net Just West of 53rd, Between Corvallis & Philomath Corvallis Corvallis Buy • sell Trade 121 NW 4th St. • 541-758-1121 541-758-1121 121 NW 4th Albany St. 1425 Pacific Blvd. • 541-926-2612 ...since 1938 Albany 541-926-2612 353 SW Madison 1425 Ave., Pacific Downtown Blvd. Corvallis (541) 753-2864 www.burstschocolates.com 12 | Corvallis Advocate
E S bean l 9 PERSON SIT E ean Drink a Tuesday, November 3 COMMUNITY MOVIE NIGHT WITH YGAL KAUFMAN Monday, November 2 Darkside Cinema, 215 SW 4th St. BRYSON SKAAR 7 p.m. Free Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath It’s been a minute since we’ve gone this far back, but Blvd. 7 p.m. Free the time just felt right. This week at CMNYK we’ve got Leslie Howard, Merle Oberon, and Raymond Massey Bryson Skaar is a trooper. Not in the “starship” variety in the timeless classic The Scarlet Pimpernel (1934). that blows up giant mutant insectoid aliens, but more You may not have seen this majestic early version of in the sense that he comes out every Monday and the well-known tale, but surely you’ve seen one of the puts in work to keep Corvallis happy. In that sense he’s many cartoon adaptations of it, notably The Scarlet not unlike the sanitation workers, fire department, or Pumpernickel with Daffy Duck. Come get a taste our robust drug dealer community; this town would of adventure, romance, and popcorn with me and probably dry up and blow away without him. Bryson the rest of the CMNYK regulars, who are awesome Skaar, ladies and gentleman; he’s the meth cook/ and superior to all regulars of all other events and firefighter/garbage man of free jazz. Stop looking at establishments in town. https://cmnyk.wordpress.com; your friend in disbelief, you know exactly what I meant https://www.facebook.com/freemovienightcorvallis by that. CELTIC JAM TRADITIONAL WEST AFRICAN DANCE CLASSES Imagine Coffee, 5460 SW Philomath Blvd. 7 p.m. Free Oddfellows Hall, 223 SW 2nd St. In every Irish movie I’ve ever seen, the jams were 7:15 p.m. $10 to $12 significantly less impressive than what you hear on Traditional West African dance > literally anything else even a humdrum installment of Celtic Jam at the you have planned for a Monday night. I don’t know ‘Gine. Now I know what you’re thinking, “So?” In you personally or anything, so I guess it’s possible fairness, how many Irish movies do you think I’ve you have some mind-blowing kale salad that you’re even seen? And how fairly could I compare the Celtic working on that you’re going to post pictures of on jamming in those films to this live Corvallis version? Facebook so everyone thinks that’s what you normally Those questions are better left to the PhDs in the think eat for dinner instead of Doritos with Easy Cheese. And NEW tanks, okay? I’m just here to push free NEW Celtic music on granted, Gyros that’s clearly or a Falafel much better thing to Mediterranean do (on you. If you Subs* were looking Mediterranean for a whole documentary Wrap on any given night) than anything else. But seriously, stop music appreciation, better get Netflix. Or have lunch Combo embarrassing me. It’s West African dancing and they’re with my 17-year-old nephew, Gary. You get a kid one going to teach you how to do it. Now stop being a Zeppelin CD for Rosh Hashana, next thing you know rube… and pass the Doritos. he’s REG.$5.99 Kurt Loder, am I right? REG.$5.99 *ANY TOPPING REG.$4.99 SAVE $3 SAVE $3 SAVE $3 $ 2 .99 $ 2 .99 $ 1 .99 Gyros - Falafel - Shawerma - Kabobs - Baklava - Pita & More! Go OSU!! 453 SW Madison Ave. Corvallis 541-908-2667 (TEXT ONLY) (541) 908-2667 corvallismediterranean.com 453 SW Madison & 5th St. I Downtown Corvallis Wednesday, November 4 DAVID WHITAKER, BOMBS Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free David Whitaker’s got an acoustic guitar, and he thinks you should hear the noises it makes. Do I have that right, Mr. Whitaker? I think I do, but then again, I have a high opinion of myself. Mr. W. is a guitar virtuoso, or I don’t know—what’s the soft acoustic rock version of a virtuoso? This guys is one of those. He’s like a James Taylor we get all to ourselves, right here in the Valley. We don’t have to share him with Carly Simon (which if you think about it is a great metaphor for Albany—they’re so vain…) or anything. Also you can see him for free at Bombs, which you definitely can’t do with James Taylor. Shoot, you can’t even shake hands with his younger son’s manager at Panera for free these days. http://www.neonbuffalomusic.com INTERNATIONAL GAMES DAY Corvallis-Benton County Public Library, 645 NW Monroe Ave. 6 p.m. Free Are we naming things “international” without checking with other countries first? I got on the phone with my distant cousins from Finland, and I was all, “International Games Day, b*tches! Let’s do this!” All I heard on the other end was a bunch of hysterical gibberish in a language that sounded like Russian, Swedish, and Japanese thrown into a blender. But it turns out they were just messing with me and speaking in gibberish. See you just went and assumed I was making an insensitive joke at the expense of the Fins. I guess you’re the real racist here, huh? Anyway, once we got past all that nonsense, they had no idea what I was talking about with International Games Day, so maybe Regional Games Day would be more appropriate? Text Only Thursday, November 5 FREE RANGE OPEN MIC NIGHT Bombs Away Café, 2527 NW Monroe Ave. 8:30 p.m. Free Open mic nights are just my favorite thing ever, and that list of things open mics top includes your mom’s tuna casserole. So don’t even ask. Just show up. For free. And bring rotten cabbage, because I can tell you from firsthand experience they don’t hand it out at the door. They weirdly expect you to be respectful and not throw things at this open mic. Laaaaaaame… INFINITE IMPROV Cloud & Kelly’s Public House, 126 SW 1st St. 9 p.m. Free Local improv is way better than televised improv. I don’t know why, but I just don’t get into that Whose Line Is It, Anyway? stuff. I like my improv raw and local, like I like my sugar cane and my stray cats. One thing I think they don’t do enough of at this particular event is that, “Somebody name an adjective and a noun…” prompting stuff that’s so popular in middle school drama classes. Call me a fool for the classics, but I just like it when I shout out “feckless,” I need to hear someone else in the room shout “penis,” so we can then watch the performers pause and look at each other panicked while they attempt to characterize a feckless penis. Open fOr BreakfaSt, LunCh & DInner Food Beaver Mediterranean Corvallis Advocate | 13
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