BGB Master Completed

Brain Go BOOM!
Author/Survivor: John Cooper
amount of projectile vomit. It felt like Hulk Hogan was driving a railroad spike with a sledge
hammer into the right side of my skull. For the next ten minutes, I spewed nothing less than,
what seemed to me, a consistent forceful flow of 100 PSI projectile vomit. My obvious goal was
to hit the toilet, but I hit the toilet, the floor, and even the walls. It was everywhere! Not even in
my college- or club-going days did I manage to leave so much carnage in one place.
Think it’s done? Not even close my squeamish readers. With all of that exerted pressure,
I had to quickly change gears and sit down on a toilet for some much needed diarrhea bursts
from the lower G.I. bug I had contracted earlier. I quickly jimmied over to another stall because
there was no way in hell I was using the first stall that I had already decimated. I don’t know
how I held it in while I was vomiting! I quickly jumped up, ran back to the original stall and
continued with another violent vomiting spree for another five minutes. I bounced back to the
other stall again, undid my pants and sat for yet another session of lower bowel bursts. What a
hot mess! As things finally settled down, I cleaned myself up and started to exit. A man about
my age, 39ish, looked at me then yelled out, “Yeah, you can come in. I think he’s all done!” I
told him, “I wouldn’t go in there if I were you.” I was embarrassed and humiliated at the time,
but that was the least of my problems compared to what was next. When I left, I looked around
and tried to find a janitor so I could tip him a $20, but couldn’t find one. Remember this is the
Philly airport.
Laura loaded up the kids and bags in the car. I insisted on driving home because I am
bullheaded, but at that moment I felt better, too. We were driving on Route 476 towards the
Turnpike when very slowly and insidiously I started to go blind. Darkness slowly started to
close in from the outer edges of my eyes until my vision was dangerously limited. It was like
looking out of a yellow #2 pencil eraser head. I was already in the process of pulling over and
stopping when things went completely dark!
I told Laura, “I just can’t see. Can you drive? Just let me lay down; don’t worry about it.
I’ll be fine, I just need to rest.” She was frantic as she continued to drive home. She called her
mother and asked if she could come over to our house and help out. Forty-five minutes later, as
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