Jewish Family Service Family Ties November 2015

familyties
November 2015
8487 Ridge Road, Cincinnati, OH 45236 www.jfscinti.org
offering birth parents ongoing support...
Two days before
giving birth to
her son Joshua*,
Kathy* met with
the couple who
would lovingly
care for her baby
after his birth.
Although two
days doesn’t
seem very long
to get to know
someone, Kathy was sure she made
the right decision.
Kathy had already contacted
Adoption Connection eight weeks
earlier to make an adoption plan for
her son. She was drained emotionally
and financially parenting four children,
the youngest just a year old. Her
relationship with the baby’s father
was struggling; and carting groceries
and laundry up three flights of stairs
with four children in tow was tough.
She felt it was becoming seemingly
impossible to realize her plan of
returning to school that would
increase her opportunities to care for
her current children.
“After reviewing various family
profiles at Adoption Connection,
I felt comfortable in my decision.
Steve* and Marianne* were financially
secure, college-educated, and had a
very supportive extended family. Plus
we shared similar parenting dreams.
Like me, they knew the importance
of exposing Joshua to his cultural
heritage,” says Kathy.
When Kathy, Steve and Marianne
met at Adoption Connection, they
agreed an open adoption plan would
allow Kathy to keep up with Joshua
as he grew. “This was important to
both Steve and Marianne as well as
Kathy,” explains Adoption Connection
Social Worker Patty Bonem, LISW-S.
“Because there are different levels
of openness involved with open
adoption, we found a plan that was
comfortable for everyone.”
Cherie McCarthy, the now-retired
Adoption Connection director, sat
with Kathy at the hospital to answer
all of her questions and give her the
emotional support she deserved
and needed during this difficult
time. “Adoption is one of the most
difficult decisions a mother will make.
It is hard and overwhelming yet so
courageous and selfless. This is why
we believe our birth mothers deserve
ongoing support, even after their
child has been placed for adoption,”
says Patty.
It has been four years since Joshua’s
placement and Adoption Connection
is still in contact with Kathy. “Kathy
is involved in many of our programs
here at Adoption Connection, as most
of our birth parents are,” says Patty.
Kathy also continues to attend
Adoption Connection’s quarterly Birth
Parent Support Group for individuals
or couples that have made an
adoption plan as long ago as 50 years
or as recently as a month.
“Our support group allows birth
parents to share their experiences and
feelings with others who have been
through the same process. They share
stories, photos, laughter and tears,’
says Patty. “Each of them have a story
all in which are unique and different in
nature. One thing they all do have in
common is bravery.”
*Name changed to protect confidentiality
together we lay the stones to build a stronger
community...
This past summer, clients and volunteers wrote personal notes explaining how Jewish Family Service strengthened their
lives. These notes were distributed to attendees at our annual meeting in June together with inspirational stones.
Throughout this newsletter you’ll find photos of the stones and a few of the notes. More notes are on www.jfscinti.org.
Please look inside where you will find
an opportunity to write your own
personal message of encouragement
to our clients, cheering them on to a
brighter tomorrow.

November 2015 jewish family service page 2
acceptance: the theme of 3 education seminars...
Jewish Family Service is proud to present expert speakers
covering a wide variety of relevant and provocative topics
affecting our daily lives.
Learn more about future speakers by signing up for our email
newsletter at www.jfscinti.org and liking Jewish Family Service
on facebook.
A panel of experts made strides for both members of a
same sex couple to be accepted as the legal parents of
their adopted child.
Attorney Joshua Safran asks
that we accept others who
may be different than us
because he himself lived as a
child in the wilderness with no
electricity - and with abuse.
Treat everyone with kindness
because you may not know that
person’s life story. That was Joshua
Safran’s message when Jewish
Family Service Alan R. Mack Speaker
Series presented Joshua Safran: The
Inspiring, Unconventional Journey
of a Warlock, Writer, and Rabbi on
October 27, 2015.
Today Joshua is a nationally
recognized author (Free Spirit),
attorney, and advocate for survivors of
domestic abuse. He was also featured
in the award-winning documentary
Crime after Crime about his and
a colleague’s 7-year battle to free
Debbie Peagler from prison. She is a
survivor of brutal domestic violence
who had been incarcerated for twenty
years for killing her abuser.
Attorney Scott Knox; Debi M. Varland, Education Manager, Jewish Family Service; Hamilton County Probate Court
Judge Ralph E. Winkler, Patty Bonem, Social Worker, Adoption Connection; Attorney Ellen Essig; Amber Feldman
The future of same sex adoption
laws was changing before our eyes
on October 18 when Jewish Family
Service, Adoption Connection, and
Family Equality Council hosted a
panel of experts for LGBT Adoption
and Family Law: When can we expect
changes in Ohio?
The panel included Hamilton County
Probate Court Judge Ralph Winkler;
Attorney Scott Knox who specializes
in LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual,
transgender) family law; Attorney Ellen
Essig who specializes in adoption
law; and Amber Feldman, a member
of Family Equality Council. They
discussed the state of LGBT adoption
and when families can expect changes
on the local level.
“Because Ohio did not allow samesex
marriage until June 2015, only
one partner in a same-sex relationship
was able to legally adopt a child,”
explains Adoption Connection
Social Worker Patty Bonem, LISW-S.
Adoption Connection is a program of
Jewish Family Service.
Same-sex marriage is now legal, but
Ohio adoption laws have not yet been
re-written to allow equal parenting
recognition.
“The judge and attorneys were
creating procedures and forms right
there during the panel discussion.
We all were in awe as we realized this
panel influenced Hamilton County
adoption laws so same sex spouses
who are now legally equal partners
will be accepted as legally equal
parents,” said Patty.
Acceptance.
But beneath Joshua’s adult confidence
lies the hurt of a 9-year-old boy who
was born into a coven of witches;
whose childhood was spent living
without electricity or running water
with his loving flower-child mother
searching for utopia; who dressed
differently than the other school
children; and who didn’t remember his
stepfather hitting him or his mother
until the memory was sparked while
interviewing Peagler in prison.
Joshua shared those memories with
Peagler, and his client questioned why
he was not telling others about his
abuse. “People expect a poor black
woman to be abused, but not your
mother because she is the least likely
victim,” she challenged him.
He admitted, “I realized that I was
ashamed and crippled by abuse
coming out from twenty years ago. I
Continued on page 3

November 2015 jewish family service page 3
Judith Levi accepted Hitler’s Finance Minister as a friend -
although she is a child of parents who escaped the Nazis.
Debi Maltz Varland, Education Manager, Jewish Family
Service, and Joshua Safran
was afraid how others would treat me
once they knew.”
Joshua is now devoted to breaking
the taboo of domestic violence
by sharing his story. “Abusive
relationships tend to go on longer
than they need to. We need to
continue the conversation to break
the silence, to feel comfortable, to tell
someone, to ask for help,” he said.
Then he encouraged us all to accept
that people who look, dress, or act
out of the ordinary all have a story
that, but for the grace of God, could
be our own.
“In this day and age we are so quick
to judge and to make fun. That is what
our society is based on. But I was
just this little dirty kid and what gave
me my self-worth was someone who
was kind, or someone who smiled at
me when they shouldn’t have. We
can’t really do a whole lot, but a small
charitable act really does make a
difference and goes a long way,” said
Joshua.
Acceptance.
On October 28, 2015, Judith Levi,
whose German Jewish parents and
grandparents escaped Nazi Germany,
shared her story of acceptance in The
Heart Can Change: My Journey to
German-Jewish Reconciliation. The
evening was presented by Jewish
Family Service Center for Holocaust
Survivors and Action Reconciliation
Service for
Peace, and was
sponsored by
the Consulate
General of
the Federal
Republic of
Germany in
Chicago.
“We hear
about the
terrible things
that happen in
the world. I’m
here to tell you
about the good
things that
happen,” said Judith.
Judith explained how she despised
all things German while growing up
in the United States. As a child she
heard how her grandparents watched
from the window of their home in
Mayen, Germany as their synagogue
was consumed by flames on
November 9, 1938 – the night known
as Kristallnacht.
But as an adult in 1998, when she
learned that the German Christian
townspeople of that town annually
commemorate the day with a solemn
procession starting from the site of
her grandparents’ synagogue, she
accepted that there are a “whole
group of Germans with good hearts.”
Judith along with family members
visited Mayen to view the procession
in person, and she has since returned
to Germany several times. She
told stories of making new friends –
including her unexpected friendship
with Hitler’s Finance Minister – and
she shared photos of the many
plaques placed by the German
community in memory of their fellow
citizens who were persecuted, driven
out, and annihilated.
“No human being can live a conflictfree
life. We all have to make peace
with someone that hurt us,” she said.
Martin Wilhelmy, Honorary Consul of the Federal Republic of Germany in Cincinnati;
Judith Levi; Gail Ziegler, Senior Manager, Jewish Family Service Center for Holocaust
Survivors; Mark McGuigan, US Program Director, Action Reconciliation Service for Peace
(ARSP); Jan Laengle, ARSP Volunteer with Jewish Family Service
Judith ended by sharing this Jewish
legend: A rabbi asks his students,
“When does the transition from night
to day take place?” And the rabbi
gave this answer, “When you look
into the face of your fellow human
being and you discover in it the face
of your brother or your sister, then
night has come to an end and day has
dawned.”
Acceptance.
“As a social service agency, Jewish
Family Service sees situations daily
where our clients strive to feel
accepted and to be accepted for
who they are, especially while they
are on the road toward a better
tomorrow,” says Jewish Family
Service CEO Beth Schwartz, MSW,
LSW.

November 2015 jewish family service page 4
meet our new adoption connection director...
area. She brings over fifteen years
of management expertise and has
experience working in the fields of
family services, crisis intervention,
emergency psychiatric services, direct
counseling, alcohol and substance
abuse addiction, case management,
outreach and discharge planning.
Kentucky University and her Master of
Social Work degree from the University
of Cincinnati.
LaTania Thomas, Director, Adoption Connection
Jewish Family Service is proud to
welcome LaTania Thomas, MPA, MSW,
LISW-S, ACHE, as the new Director of
Adoption Connection. The previous
director, Cherie McCarthy, retired in
July.
LaTania has worked with children,
men, women, families and many
communities throughout the tristate
Previously, as the Clinical Psychiatric
Social Work Manager at University
Hospital, she managed the Mobile
Crisis Team, Inpatient Social Work,
and Psychiatric Emergency Services
departments.
LaTania continues to help the
community through her strong
involvement in National Association of
Social Work (NASW) at the local, state,
and national levels.
She received her Master of Public
Administration degree from Northern
creating a legacy for a brighter future...
We would like to thank Mona and Dick Kerstine
for strengthening the future of Jewish Family
Service with a Create Your Jewish Legacy gift. This
gift will preserve the thriving community the Kerstines
have helped shape, and ensure that Jewish Family
Service can help those in need for years to come.
Dick and Mona Kerstine appreciate the values their
ancestors passed on to them. “We have a huge heritage, with which we feel
comes responsibility. And to fulfill that responsibility requires involvement.
Either personal or legacy involvement,” said Dick.
Mona and Dick Kerstine
“I hope my grandchildren and great grandchildren will know how proud they
can be of their ancestors. My father used to say that Jews have to take care of
one another,” added Mona.
Dick said they made a Jewish legacy commitment to Jewish Family Service and other Cincinnati Jewish organizations so
they can send a message to their seven grandchildren and future great-grandchildren, “I’m glad there’s a Judaism that is
still present for you…that you can still practice…that you can still identify with.”
To create your own Legacy Gift, contact Richard Behrman at (513) 766-3315 or rbehrman@jcincy.org
The Family Ties Newsletter is published by Jewish Family Service of the Cincinnati area.
Phone: (513) 469-1188 www.jfscinti.org
Agency Sponsor
Address changes or to be removed from the mailing list: Carrie Krach 513-766-3345 or ckrach@jfscinti.org
Andi Levenson Young, President of the Board • Beth Schwartz, CEO • Sherry Kaplan, Marketing Director
Social services for Nazi victims have been supported by a grant from the Conference on Jewish Material Claims Against Germany.
Aging and Caregiver Services receives funds administered by Council on Aging of Southwestern Ohio.

November 2015 jewish family service page 5
activities keep clients engaged toward wellness...
Poverty, hunger and mental illness affect too many people. But Jewish Family Service Barbash Family Vital Support
Center is providing a unique and innovative approach to tackling the growing needs of the most vulnerable members of
our community.
Parents can feed their hungry families meat and fresh vegetables from our Heldman Family Food Pantry, which is the only
food pantry in the region that also includes a section with a full array of kosher food. Struggling clients are connected
to community resources to keep a warm roof over their heads. And activities such as Tai Chi classes and Jewish holidaythemed
lunches encourage our clients to intermingle with each other because, after all, socialization and spiritual needs
are as important to achieving wellness as nutrition, exercise and diet. Together we are leading our neighbors who are in
the most need toward a future of stability, security, and self-sufficiency.
your gift to one strengthens many lives...
Send a tribute
today...
Recognize a special
occasion, honor
a milestone, or
acknowledge the
memory of a loved
one. Send a tribute
to the General Fund
or choose a specific
designation such as
the Ann and Mort
Startz Professional
Development Fund,
the Jordan House
Fund, or the Bigs &
Littles Fund.
Donate online at www.jfscinti.org or Send this form with payment to:
Jewish Family Service, 8487 Ridge Road, Cincinnati, OH 45236 or Call 513-766-3345
First Name
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Address City ST ZIP
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Tribute Amount $
All donors may be listed publicly. (Amount is not disclosed)
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Check payable to Jewish Family Service VISA MC AMEX Discover exp. date
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Send Tribute: In honor of In memory of Special occasion
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Additional instructions?

November 2015 jewish family service page 6
connecting a web of services for an 88-year-old...
The Jewish Family Service ad asked “Worried about Mom?” and provided
a phone number. But Ruth, 88 years old, called because she was worried
about herself.
The worry turned to comfort when she found compassionate geriatric
care managers who could connect her to a web of services she didn’t
know existed.
Ruth, 88, wanted to continue living
independently in her own apartment.
But she was struggling financially on
her fixed income, and becoming more
and more isolated from family and
friends. She was concerned enough
about her own situation that she
called Jewish Family Service (JFS)
after reading a JFS ad about geriatric
care management in The American
Israelite.
“She preferred to live on her own,
but she was worried that she could
not afford her monthly expenses.
She was also having a difficult time
keeping up with household duties
such as cleaning and shopping,”
said Stephanie Seyfried, MSW,
LISW-S, Jewish Family Service Aging
Operations Senior Manager. “During
the initial appointment I assessed her
situation to determine programs and
services she would be eligible for.”
Stephanie and the Aging Services
team of geriatric social workers and
care managers have a wealth of
experience connecting their senior
adult clients to available, but often
unknown community services.
Ruth was eligible for Medicaid
through Hamilton County Job &
Family Services; and she received
assistance with her Duke Energy utility
bill through the PIPP Plus (Percentage
of Income Payment Plan Plus) &
HEAP (Home Energy Assistance
Program) programs, administered
by Community Action Agency. For
support in her home, a referral to
Council on Aging provided additional
home care services.
“As we were discussing her situation,
Ruth disclosed she had some past
credit card bills that she could no
longer pay based on her fixed income.
We referred her to ProSeniors’ free
legal help line so they could advise
her on her options regarding the debt,
and how to respond to creditors,” said
Stephanie.
In the conversation, Ruth shared that
her deceased husband was a Jewish
Holocaust survivor. On behalf of Ruth,
a team of Jewish Family Service social
workers completed the application
from the German Government
for Holocaust restitution. Ruth was
approved for a ZRBG Ghetto widow’s
pension and now receives a monthly
pension. This extra income has
allowed Ruth to stretch her budget
so she can now afford to remain
independent in her own home.
Helping senior adults maintain
independence in their home is one
goal of the Jewish Family Service
Aging and Caregiver Services
department. Another is to reduce
isolation by connecting seniors to the
community and their families.
“We encouraged Ruth to participate
in the activities and programs
offered throughout the community.
She also continues to participate in
the Friendship Club, the psychosocial
program organized by Jewish
Family Service Center for Holocaust
Survivors for survivors and their
spouses,” said Stephanie.
Jewish Family Service also helped
her move to a safer apartment
closer to family. The ARSP (Actions
Reconciliation Service for Peace)
German volunteer helped Ruth pack,
and the Holocaust survivor program
provided Ruth with some limited
homecare assistance during the move
through special funding from the
Jewish Federation of Cincinnati.
Ruth made one call to Jewish Family
Service, and by connecting her to the
many programs, she is enjoying an
independent life.
Stephanie Seyfried, Aging Operations Senior Manager,
Jewish Family Service with Ruth

November 2015 jewish family service page 7
send a message of hope to a JFS client...
Cut out and mail to Jewish Family Service, 8487 Ridge Road, Cincinnati, OH 45236;
take a photo and email to skaplan@jfscinti.org; or send a message online at www.jfscinti.org
Our clients’ messages put a smile on our faces.
Let’s return the favor.
We asked our clients, “What does Jewish Family Service mean to you?” The
responses we received were thoughtful, warm, and made each one of us here
at Jewish Family Service proud, knowing that what we do really matters.
Throughout this newsletter we’ve shared some of these notes with you
because, after all, their expression of gratitude for the life-changing services
extends to you and our entire community of readers and JFS supporters.
Without you, none of our good work would even be possible.
Let’s share with them messages of hope and inspiration.
Please use the space above to write a few words of encouragement to the
people who rely on Jewish Family Service during their times of need.
Your thoughtfulness will let them know that a community of support is behind
each of them, cheering them on to a brighter tomorrow.
Your message may be copied and distributed to our clients along with holiday packages.

easy ways to help
JFS strengthen lives...
1. Send a Jewish Family Service
tribute to acknowledge a special
occasion, wish a speedy recovery,
offer condolences, or recognize
a milestone.
Strengthening Lives in Times of Need...
8487 Ridge Road
Cincinnati, OH 45236
NonProfit Org.
U.S. Postage
PAID
Cincinnati, OH
Permit No. 1404
2. Donate your used vehicle
(car, boat, RV). All you need is a
clean title and we'll do the rest
including free pick-up anywhere in
the US. Call 877-537-4227.
3. Link your Kroger Plus Card
to Jewish Family Service. Shop
as usual for Kroger groceries,
pharmacy and at the gas pump, and
a % of all donations come to JFS.
Visit www.jfscinti.org for details
see inside to read more about...
Messages of hope from clients...and
YOUR opportunity to write back
Meet our new Director
of Adoption Connection
Alone we can do so little;
together we can do so much.
-Helen Keller
3 community speaker
events on relavant &
provocative topics
Jewish Family Service...strengthening lives,
strengthening community.