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Huckleberry Press 040716

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April 7, 2016 <strong>Huckleberry</strong> <strong>Press</strong> Page 13<br />

‘Cuz Chuckleberries<br />

Make the World<br />

Go ‘Round<br />

Highway Speeder<br />

It was the last 10 minutes<br />

of his shift on the highway,<br />

and this cop had yet to catch<br />

a real speeder and score a<br />

huge ticket. Just as he was<br />

about to give up and drive<br />

away, a car appeared on the<br />

horizon, moving extremely<br />

fast.<br />

The cop pulled up his<br />

radar and, score, the driver<br />

was going 20 miles per hour<br />

over the speed limit. He<br />

jumped in his car and turned<br />

his siren on, motioning the<br />

driver to pull over. However,<br />

the driver just sped up and<br />

kept going for a few more<br />

miles before finally pulling<br />

over.<br />

The cop got out of his car<br />

and the driver rolled down<br />

his window. “Oh, I’ve been<br />

waiting for you all day”, the<br />

cop said with a wide smile to<br />

the driver who happened to<br />

be a young girl.<br />

The girl replied with a<br />

wink, “Yeah, well I got here<br />

as fast as I could.”<br />

The cop laughed and said,<br />

“Oh yeah? So why didn’t you<br />

pull over right away?”<br />

“Well, daddy told me to<br />

always play hard to get.”<br />

When he stopped laughing,<br />

the cop let her go with a<br />

warning.<br />

Sin of Vanity<br />

A young woman knelt in<br />

the confessional and said,<br />

“Bless me, Father, for I have<br />

sinned.”<br />

“What is it, child?” asked<br />

the priest.<br />

The woman said, “Father,<br />

I have committed the sin of<br />

vanity. Twice a day I gaze at<br />

myself in the mirror and tell<br />

myself how beautiful I am.”<br />

The priest turned, took a<br />

good look at the woman, and<br />

said, “My dear, I have good<br />

news. That isn’t a sin – it’s<br />

only a mistake.”<br />

Dijon Vu - the same mustard<br />

as before.<br />

A hangover is the wrath of<br />

grapes.<br />

The research assistant<br />

couldn’t experiment with<br />

plants because he hadn’t<br />

botany.<br />

When a clock is hungry, it<br />

goes back four seconds.<br />

Gardeners like to plant their<br />

feet firmly.<br />

By the time you find greener<br />

pastures, you can’t climb<br />

over the fence.<br />

CLASSIFIED ADS: $8 for 2 WEEKS! Each ad runs 2 weeks.<br />

(plus 20¢ for each word over the first 20) • Reach 11 Inland Northwest counties for one low rate • Includes your ad on the Internet<br />

BUY 3 ADS, GET THE 4TH AD FREE! Ad will run for 2 MONTHS!<br />

Fill out this form and mail it with your payment (please do not mail cash) to: <strong>Huckleberry</strong> <strong>Press</strong>, PO Box 141, Davenport, WA 99122<br />

Your Name __________________________________ Phone __________________<br />

E-Mail Address ________________________________________________________<br />

Mailing Address _______________________________________________________<br />

City ______________________________ State _________ Zip _________________<br />

Please use punctuation where needed. Remember to place your phone number in ad.<br />

Phone number, Website URL, or E-mail address count as one word each.<br />

1 2 3 4 5<br />

6 7 8 9 10<br />

11 12 13 14 15<br />

16 17 18 19 20-$8.00<br />

21-$8.20 22-$8.40 23-$8.60 24-$8.80 25-$9.00<br />

26-$9.20 27-$9.40 28-$9.60 29-$9.80 30-$10.00<br />

Basic Cost of Your Ad $____________<br />

____ Ad in Box (Bold Line), add $3.00 $_____________<br />

____ Ad in Colored Box, add $3.00 $_____________<br />

____ Color Photo, add $7.00 $_____________<br />

SUBTOTAL Cost of your ad $_____________<br />

_____ I’m buying 3 ads, give me the 4th one FREE. ___________<br />

(No Charge)<br />

Number of ads you are paying for X __________<br />

TOTAL AMOUNT ENCLOSED<br />

$_____________<br />

Please mail your photo together with this form.<br />

If you would like your photo returned,<br />

please provide a self-addressed, stamped envelope.<br />

You can also e-mail your photo to: ads@huckleberrypress.net<br />

Use a separate piece of paper for larger ads or for more than one ad.<br />

31-$10.20 32-$10.40 33-$10.60 34-$10.80 35-$11.00<br />

36-$11.20 37-$11.40 38-$11.60 39-$11.80 40-$12.00<br />

To pay using VISA®, MasterCard®, or Discover Card®, please complete the following:<br />

Cardholder’s Name (please print): _____________________________________________________<br />

Card Number __________-__________-__________-__________ Exp. Date: _____/_____ 3-Digit Code ___ ___ ___<br />

Billing address if different from above: ______________________________________________________________________<br />

Amount you authorize us to process: $ ___________+ $1.00 bank card convenience processing fee = Total $____________<br />

(A $1.00 Bank Card Convenience Processing Fee will be added to orders paid by credit or debit cards.<br />

There is no extra fee to pay by check or money order. Sorry, we don’t accept American Express -- their fees are too high).<br />

Mail your check or money order to:<br />

<strong>Huckleberry</strong> <strong>Press</strong><br />

PO BOX 141 - Davenport, WA 99122<br />

Questions? Call us toll-free 1-844-344-8344<br />

FAX your Ad Order to: 1-888-507-2305<br />

E-mail your ad to: ads@huckleberrypress.net<br />

Cardholder’s Signature:<br />

_____________________________________________________<br />

Your information is never shared, traded, or sold to anyone.

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