Huckleberry Press 040716
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April 7, 2016 <strong>Huckleberry</strong> <strong>Press</strong> Page 13<br />
‘Cuz Chuckleberries<br />
Make the World<br />
Go ‘Round<br />
Highway Speeder<br />
It was the last 10 minutes<br />
of his shift on the highway,<br />
and this cop had yet to catch<br />
a real speeder and score a<br />
huge ticket. Just as he was<br />
about to give up and drive<br />
away, a car appeared on the<br />
horizon, moving extremely<br />
fast.<br />
The cop pulled up his<br />
radar and, score, the driver<br />
was going 20 miles per hour<br />
over the speed limit. He<br />
jumped in his car and turned<br />
his siren on, motioning the<br />
driver to pull over. However,<br />
the driver just sped up and<br />
kept going for a few more<br />
miles before finally pulling<br />
over.<br />
The cop got out of his car<br />
and the driver rolled down<br />
his window. “Oh, I’ve been<br />
waiting for you all day”, the<br />
cop said with a wide smile to<br />
the driver who happened to<br />
be a young girl.<br />
The girl replied with a<br />
wink, “Yeah, well I got here<br />
as fast as I could.”<br />
The cop laughed and said,<br />
“Oh yeah? So why didn’t you<br />
pull over right away?”<br />
“Well, daddy told me to<br />
always play hard to get.”<br />
When he stopped laughing,<br />
the cop let her go with a<br />
warning.<br />
Sin of Vanity<br />
A young woman knelt in<br />
the confessional and said,<br />
“Bless me, Father, for I have<br />
sinned.”<br />
“What is it, child?” asked<br />
the priest.<br />
The woman said, “Father,<br />
I have committed the sin of<br />
vanity. Twice a day I gaze at<br />
myself in the mirror and tell<br />
myself how beautiful I am.”<br />
The priest turned, took a<br />
good look at the woman, and<br />
said, “My dear, I have good<br />
news. That isn’t a sin – it’s<br />
only a mistake.”<br />
Dijon Vu - the same mustard<br />
as before.<br />
A hangover is the wrath of<br />
grapes.<br />
The research assistant<br />
couldn’t experiment with<br />
plants because he hadn’t<br />
botany.<br />
When a clock is hungry, it<br />
goes back four seconds.<br />
Gardeners like to plant their<br />
feet firmly.<br />
By the time you find greener<br />
pastures, you can’t climb<br />
over the fence.<br />
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