Huckleberry Press 040716

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Page 14 Huckleberry Press April 7, 2016 FRESH CHUCKLEBERRIES! Warning! Not to be taken internally, literally, or seriously! “You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.” -- Anonymous “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” ~ Victor Borge “My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” - Buddy Hackett A toddler who was found chewing on a slug. After the initial surge of disgust the parent said, “Well, what does it taste like?” “Worms,” was the reply. Why are husbands like lawn mowers? They are difficult to get started, emit foul smells, and don’t work half the time. How to stop a dog from digging in a garden? Start right! Never let the dog see you digging . . . Doggy see, doggy do. From a church bulletin: “Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.” A Veggie New Age Song: Peas would rule the planets, and love would clear the bars. It was the dawning of the Age of Asparagus. “Annuals” mean disappointment once a year. Your lawn is always slightly bigger than your desire to mow it. Whichever garden tool you want is always at the back of the shed. The only way to ensure rain, is to give the garden a good soaking. Weeds grow at precisely the rate you pull them out. Nothing ever looks like it does on the seed packet. Autumn follows summer, winter follows autumn, drought follows planting. The only way to guarantee some color all year round is to buy a garden gnome. However bare the lawn, grass will appear in the cracks between the patio paving stones. Evergreens go a funny shade of brown in the winter. Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don’t lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner. “When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?” - Lucy Parker Where do apples love to take a vacation? Fuji. “I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.” - Richard Diran Mosquito: An insect that makes you like flies better. When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. “You’ll never get me up in one of those!” declared the caterpillar to the butterfly. What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming. “I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn.” - C.E. Cowman A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat. What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawn mower? Shredded tweet. I left a packed of seeds in my pocket and my coat turned into a Chia jacket. Whether the weather be cold, or whether the weather be hot, whatever the weather, we’ll weather the weather whether we like it or not. “Door: What a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.” - Ogden Nash “Crabgrass can grow on bowling balls in airless rooms, and there is no known way to kill it that does not involve nuclear weapons.” - Dave Barry Checking the menu, a restaurant customer ordered a bowl of vegetable soup. After a couple of spoonfuls, he saw a circle of wetness right under the bowl on the tablecloth. He called the waitress over and said, “It’s all wet down here. The bowl must be cracked.” The waitress said, “You ordered vegetable soup, maybe it has a leek in it.” My mother-in-law grows a great patch of potatoes. In fact, to get them off to a good start, she plants each seed potato in a small paper bag. It keeps the dirt out of their eyes. What did the grape say when it got trodden on? Nothing. It just gave a little whine. “I bought an ant farm. I don’t know where I am going to get a tractor that small!” - Steven Wright new machines! multi-load washers! Try our wash & fold service!! Call for entry after 10 p.m. 1004 W. Garland Ave, Spokane (509) 251-1515 Mental Health and Chemical Dependency Treatment Chemical Dependency (CD) Chewelah (CD/MH) 935-4808 Colville (CD/MH) 684-4597 or 1-866-708-4597 Davenport (CD/MH) 725-3001 or 1-888-725-3001 Nine Mile Falls (MH by appt only) 262-0396 Republic (CD/MH) 775-3341 or 1-866-807-7131 *Mental Health After Hours Emergencies* 1-888-380-6823 Mental Health (MH) RIVERS EDGE 1 STOP All-in-1-Convenience Store-Gas Station-Liquor Store! Open 7am-9pm • 7 Days a week • 24-HR Fueling at the Pump HUNGRY AS A BEAR? Check out our SALTY SNACK COVE! ...and don’t forget our COLD BEER CAVE (509) 732-4495 208 Center Northport, WA The Best of the Huckleberry’s Chuckleberries Volume 1 - 2nd Edition with Bonus Chuckleberries! Bonus Edition In Print! $ 9 95 Shipped FREE from The Best of the HUCKLEBERRY’S CHUCKLEBERRIES Compiled and Edited by Victoria “Tori” Cook Caudle VOL. 1 - Second Edition with BONUS Chuckleberries! WARNING: Not to be taken internally, literally, or seriously! OR call Victoria at 228-596-1516
April 7, 2016 Huckleberry Press Page 15 Huckleberry Word Power: Gardening J L U R S K I S M F E R S L B Q T D N G I S E D A Y N E G L N O Y O Y A G L A O R S I I B J I R T N I S U P S W M W S N U I D I A N T V U C D V G S N S L H E E U H R S B O Z E N O S S I T A M E L C U S E C F L R O T O A Y M S N T Q P D L D Y P O L A C T V C E T R X L G K P J E I J X I J L C Z U W L H L H O O M T A B P L R S R V X R N L B X P H Q F P R D T L A I J M A A M X E O I K G W U N V A L Z P R I R J G C E N L C T K P N I C R R C T N R I T T L U H L I U T P P F P M X P A X Q A M E X D O K L G B N C N L W K A U O X I H S P X K T Z D N S K Z S D H E L T U E C C M I W T R O W E L F Q E V W Y P P P O A U D E C S S T S E P H H T Y Z L M Z R W B V R G U R E W L U U D T O X V Q G F I J A U W S L A V O E E D Z C V R V N X P B K V G Y F B O G S E E D S U X N A M U N R E A N B I W O Q C X R Q E U X M I E T Q W O L M V A O L F R A G R A N T S K X F V H F E W L W E E D I N G T D T M H P S T B O T N U G J S D A I P Y N Y J T E K E I O O A L I J H R I U A P T L P D A N J G U K G R O P R E N P E Z I L I T R E F I P O H D D A C K X M T V Q J F S U C O R C I N E M N W F K Z T U N O S O S R J Z O I T Z P P N C O P W G P F F I B C Q H G I D S V W J Y C K W G C D N H V R A A R J J S F M D Q Y V L U I K U U P H L A M R O W S D A M P W S A P P S AMEND ANNUAL BLOSSOM BUCKET BUGS CLEMATIS COMPANION COMPOST CROCUS HUCKLEBERRY COUNTRY SUDOKU! Daily Sudoku: Sun 3-Apr-2016 CURRANT DAFFODIL DESIGN DIG DIVIDING FERTILIZE FRAGRANT GLOVES HORTICULTURE INSECT LANDSCAPE MULCH PERENNIAL PESTS PRUNE RAKE REPEL ROTOTILL 6 3 2 8 3 7 9 6 7 9 8 6 2 1 7 1 5 5 7 4 3 4 1 3 8 7 2 5 9 4 2 5 1 7 1 8 7 2 ROWS SEEDLING SEEDS SHOVEL SLUGS SOIL SOW SPRING SPROUT Sudoku Puzzle Instructions: Each Sudoku has a unique solution that can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits from 1 to 9 into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit -- so must every column, as must every 3x3 square. Puzzle difficulty level is “Easy to Medium.” Good luck! (c) Daily Sudoku Ltd 2016. All rights reserved. d 2016. All rights reserved. http://www.dailysudoku.com/ (c) Daily Sudoku Ltd 2016. All rights reserved. (c) Daily Sudoku Ltd 2016. All rights reserved. SUDOKU SOLUTION: Below is the Solution to easy This Week’s Puzzle 7 1 5 STARTS TILL TRANSPLANT TROWEL TULIPS WATER WEEDING 6 3 2 8 Daily Sudoku: Sun 3-Apr-2016 1 6 4 8 7 3 2 5 9 2 5 9 6 4 1 8 3 7 8 7 3 2 5 9 6 1 4 4 8 1 3 6 5 9 7 2 5 9 7 1 2 8 4 6 3 6 3 2 4 9 7 1 8 5 7 4 5 9 8 6 3 2 1 3 2 8 7 1 4 5 9 6 9 1 6 5 3 2 7 4 8 YOU’LL Love YOUR HUCKLEBERRY PRESS SUBSCRIPTION! $8 per month or get our Best Deal: (save 35%) $62 per year. 9 1 6 5 3 2 7 4 8 3 2 8 7 1 4 5 9 6 7 4 5 9 8 6 3 2 1 6 3 2 4 9 7 1 8 5 5 9 7 1 2 8 4 6 3 4 8 1 3 6 5 9 7 2 8 7 3 2 5 9 6 1 4 Daily Sudoku: Sun 3-Apr-2016 1 8 7 2 2 5 1 7 8 7 2 5 9 4 Name Phone Mailing Address City or Town State Zip Email Address Mail this completed form with your payment to: Huckleberry Press PO Box 141 Davenport, WA 99122 or phone in your subscription order: 844-344-8344 4 1 3 5 7 4 3 7 9 8 6 2 1 3 7 9 6 2016 Seeds! ORGANIC • NON-GMO Vegetable & Flower Seeds $1.99 and $2.99 Best Propane Value in the Inland Northwest! CUSTOMER TANKS ARROW PROPANE TANKS 500 1000 gal*.........$1.55 Gal......$1.14 99 1000 500 Gal......$1.14 gal*.........$1.59 9 300 500 gal*..........$1.65 Gal........$1.24 9 9 500 300 Gal........$1.24 gal*..........$1.69 9 150 250 gal*..........$1.85 Gal........$1.34 9 9 250 150 Gal........$1.34 gal*..........$1.99 9 120 Gal........$1.55 9 120 Gal........$1.55 9 *Prices subject to change without notice Special Pricing for Commercial Customers Neighborhood-Group Deliveries Guaranteed Price Plans 509-919-4178 www.arrowpropane.com *Prices subject to change without notice Call us for a quote! Locally Owned & Operated!
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