The Sandbag Times Issue No:14

Not Good Enough
Why do I write Have Faith, because I
feel that I want to get a message out
there, a message of hope, of love, of
acceptance. Every week I hope to
bring some encouragement to readers
and those listening. I am just one
person. I don’t have all the answers,
but then again who does? I just simply
pray and then write what I believe God
wants me to share with you, because to
me the only one that can truly help is
Him. Now I don’t feel that I am
qualified to do what I do. I don’t have
a degree in theology, I haven’t studied
at Bible School, I merely draw on what
I have learned through my relationship
with God over the last 7 years, and
from the Bible studying that I have
done. Do I feel good enough to do
this? The short answer is NO. So why
do I do it? Because I see & feel
others’ pain and want to share with
them the hope I have.
Many a time I have heard people talk
about Christians as do-gooders. Yes
we want to do good, just as many non-
Christians also want to do good. ‘Dogooders’
get a lot of stick because it is
felt that they do good to make.
themselves look good. Maybe some of
them do? I do good because I cannot
help myself, it is a part of my nature. I
love people and I just want to make a
difference in their lives. We all struggle.
Some struggles I can relate to or have
experienced, some I have not, but I still
hurt when I see people hurting. Am I
doing it to make myself feel good…NO!
I am doing it because I myself have
mountain top moments where I feel on
top of the world and then find myself in
the deepest darkest valleys. These
peaks and troughs come on an almost
daily basis, so I feel like a yo-yo, up,
then down, then up, then down. I
wouldn’t get through if I didn’t have
God’s support and I guess I just want
people to have that same sense of
security, love, hope and faith that I have.
I see people struggling and in these
times we are our own worst enemy,
because we beat ourselves up for not
getting things done, for not coping, for
not being strong. I know I have said
this repeatedly but we are all trying our
best. Many times I have heard people
say that they are going through a difficult
time because they are being punished
for something that had happened in
their past, this is a lie. Difficult times fall
on us all, life is never going to be
smooth. Do you know what, whether
you believe in God or not, life has its
ups and downs. Just because I believe
in God doesn’t mean that I face any less
difficulties than the next person, the
difference is that my faith is what gives
me the strength to get through.
Now God shows mercy and gives grace.
Grace is a difficult one for anyone to
accept, because it’s not earned, it’s a
free gift. When we see offers on TV or
the Internet we automatically think ’this
offer is too good to be true, there has to
be a catch’. Well yes there usually is
something in the fine print that catches
us out because in this world we learn
that we cannot get something for
nothing. This may be why many don’t
understand grace or struggle with
accepting it, because there is no catch,
it’s there for the taking.
Now let me explain the difference
between grace and mercy. Mercy is not
getting what you deserve. You do
something but you are shown mercy and
go unpunished. Grace is getting what you
don’t deserve. An unmerited gift. A gift
with no catches, no strings attached.
Basically let me explain it like this. There
was a judge, and a man stood before him,
it was his son. Now he loved his son and
would do anything for him, but the fact
remained that he had committed a crime.
The judge (his father) knew that in the
justice system he needed to be punished,
he could not show him mercy because he
had to rule with a mind of justice. The
man’s punishment for his crime was a
hefty fine, which he didn’t have the
means to pay. Now the judge passed
sentence and then got up and came down
from his seat, took off his wig & robes
and promptly paid his son’s fine. Grace
works like this. God has to punish us for
the things we have done wrong because
He is ‘just’, but He loves us as we are his
children, and wants to help us. So he
sent Jesus who paid the price once for all.
This means that even though we all make
bad choices at times or do the wrong
thing (sin), Gods punishment and the fine
we must pay, has been paid for by Jesus.
Now I struggle with this as I know I am
not worthy enough to be called God’s
daughter. How can I possibly accept this
gift as I am not good enough. I am a
divorcee, my ex-husband didn’t cheat on
me, and is still alive, so even though we
are divorced in the eyes of the law,
because I am in another relationship
according to God’s law I am an adulterer.
Thus I am a sinner, I am not good
enough, but