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he best part about Thomas Mallon’s 2009<br />

takedown of Ayn Rand—a delicate evisceration,<br />

massaged over 4,226 words in a November<br />

edition of The New Yorker and executed<br />

with the precision of a GPS-enabled scalpel—<br />

is how much he earned it. The dear man forfeited<br />

a summer <strong>to</strong> endure all 9 billion pages<br />

(approximately) of The Fountainhead and<br />

Atlas Shrugged, and other Randian writings,<br />

as well, in the holy name of preparation.<br />

Dr. Mallon is nothing if not a thorough<br />

man, tidy and prone <strong>to</strong> cardigans, cleanliness<br />

and teal-striped socks. A registered<br />

(but wholly disenchanted) Republican, the<br />

64-year-old gets his hair cut for $26 at the<br />

Watergate barbershop, because, well, if it’s<br />

good enough for Bob Dole, he says, it’s good<br />

enough for him. It’s also a short walk—he<br />

might ride his Marin bicycle if it was much<br />

farther—from his sixth-floor Phillips Hall<br />

office in Foggy Bot<strong>to</strong>m, where he’s been an<br />

English professor and Rate My Professor darling<br />

since 2007.<br />

Students vouch, with an average of 4.8<br />

stars out of 5, for his charm, his wit, his<br />

helpfulness, his clarity. They testify, as even<br />

Ms. Rand might, if she were still alive, <strong>to</strong> his<br />

dedication <strong>to</strong> knowing as much stuff as possible,<br />

and then, if there’s time, a little more.<br />

An essayist, a critic and a well-lauded novelist,<br />

Dr. Mallon—who got his PhD in English<br />

and American literature from Harvard<br />

University in 1978—researches hard and at<br />

length, which is how he came <strong>to</strong> write about<br />

Ms. Rand, her philosophy of Objectivism and<br />

what she watched on TV.<br />

Before that New Yorker piece,<br />

Dr. Mallon hadn’t had more than a casual<br />

brush with Ayn Rand. He might have been<br />

among that group that, as he wrote seven<br />

years ago, made “their first and last trip <strong>to</strong><br />

Galt’s Gulch … sometime between leaving<br />

Middle-earth and packing for college.” And he<br />

went back only because The New Yorker paid<br />

him <strong>to</strong> write about two Rand biographies: Ayn<br />

Rand and the World She Made, by Anne C.<br />

Heller, and Goddess of the Market: Ayn Rand<br />

and the American Right, by Jennifer Burns.<br />

Dr. Mallon, though, went in<strong>to</strong> the dark<br />

beyond the biographies, also trudging—<br />

uphill (both ways), barefoot, in the snow—<br />

through Ms. Rand’s novels, We the Living,<br />

The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged, and<br />

Ms. Rand’s nonfiction, The Romantic Manifes<strong>to</strong>:<br />

A Philosophy of Literature and The Art<br />

of Fiction: A Guide for Writers and Readers.<br />

Dr. Mallon whittled from a block of Randian<br />

ironwood an essay that went deep on her<br />

Russian roots and a screenwriting dalliance<br />

in Hollywood. Dr. Mallon dug in<strong>to</strong> Ms. Rand’s<br />

personal life, her political influence and her<br />

cult of votaries. He even mined Ms. Rand’s<br />

Charlie’s Angels fandom for a mordant crack<br />

about Objectivism.<br />

<strong>In</strong> <strong>to</strong>tal, Dr. Mallon persevered through<br />

more than 3,500 pages of Ayn Rand and Ayn<br />

Rand scholarship <strong>to</strong> craft a review-essay on<br />

two biographies, <strong>to</strong> establish gravitas and<br />

earn these delicious cuts: Ms. Rand’s “intellectual<br />

genre fiction puts her in the crackpot<br />

pantheon of L. Frank Baum and L. Ron<br />

Hubbard,” “the novel’s dialogue is never even<br />

accidentally plausible” and “the books would<br />

have been no more concise and no less clumsy<br />

had she written them in Russian.”<br />

Ariel Gonzalez—an English professor at<br />

Miami Dade College and NPR host who has<br />

reviewed books for The Washing<strong>to</strong>n Post and<br />

The Miami Herald—described Dr. Mallon as<br />

one of the “best book critics” in the country<br />

because, while Dr. Mallon may not celebrate<br />

an author’s catalog, he will most certainly<br />

read it, even if it’s “so bad,” Dr. Mallon says, it<br />

“just makes my head explode.”<br />

“He writes comprehensive essay-reviews<br />

on someone,” Mr. Gonzalez says. “That’s<br />

something a lot of critics won’t do. He takes<br />

the author seriously. So even if he’s criticizing<br />

you—even if he’s attacking you—you should<br />

at least be happy with the fact that he’s paid so<br />

much attention <strong>to</strong> your work.”<br />

That is what he did for 4,226 words on two<br />

Ayn Rand biographies. Now, consider what he<br />

might do for his own books.<br />

THOMAS MALLON PULLED,<br />

from the fluorescent hammerspace of his<br />

corner office, the first four pages of Landfall,<br />

his novel about President George W. Bush.<br />

Dr. Mallon’s 10th novel, it’s scheduled for a<br />

2018 release and with a chunk of it set during<br />

Hurricane Katrina. Landfall is the final book<br />

of the “trilogy” he never meant <strong>to</strong> write, but<br />

Pantheon Books, his publisher since 1997, and<br />

his agent suggested he postpone a novel centering<br />

on Fort Sumter during the Civil War—<br />

tentatively titled The Late Unpleasantness—<br />

<strong>to</strong> first novelize Bush the Younger.<br />

The “trilogy”—Dr. Mallon didn’t name it<br />

that but he likes <strong>to</strong> use the term ironically—<br />

covers the major Republican presidents from<br />

the last third of the 20th century and the forward<br />

tip of the 21st. The series started with<br />

Richard Nixon and the PEN/Faulkner-nominated<br />

Watergate in 2012, then Ronald Reagan<br />

and the well-received Finale: A Novel of<br />

the Reagan Years in 2015, and now, W. and<br />

Landfall.<br />

“You are the first person <strong>to</strong> read that,<br />

besides me,” says Dr. Mallon, handing over<br />

the pages. “It was only written in the last<br />

couple of days.”<br />

It’s January and the air is gloomy. The<br />

pages are handwritten front and back in blue<br />

roller-ball ink, ripped primly from legal pads<br />

gwmagazine.com / 31

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