FACES OF GRCC

ArtPrize entry named “Unveiling.”
There were several silk sheets on
metal stands with words written
on them. When I read the first
one I saw the words, “I hate He
gets to Live a Normal life” and the
words, ‘He,’ ‘Live,’ and ‘Normal’ all
in capital letters. I realized how
much I could relate to this survivor.
He lives “freely” while I live
here with the pain he has caused.
I also thought about how many
other women and young girls have
suffered and have lived the same
life as I. When I read the next silk
sheet, it described the events that
happened to a young girl. She
was 7 years old and she loved her
grandfather, and unfortunately her
grandfather did not love her in the
same way. Instead of giving her the
love and affection a grandfather is
supposed to, he raped her.
I continued to walk across the
bridge reading each silk sheet and
the saddening words, feeling the
pain within their stories. When I
reached the end of the bridge, there
was as a stand with a sign describing
the art entry and a folder with
paper so that other survivors who
have endured sexual abuse could
write their stories, send them to
the artists and let their stories be
displayed as well. So I thought, why
not tell my story? To allow others
to know that molestation can happen
at any age, even a 7-year-old. I
grabbed a piece of paper from the
beige folder, sat down on the grass
near the bridge and began to write
about that day. I then sent the letter
to the artist, but it was too late for
my story to be displayed. Instead I
made another decision.
My next step to finally overcome
everything was to tell my parents.
For 13 years, I kept this secret from
them. When I noticed the “Unveiling”
by Nichole Riley, I thought it
was destiny. During ArtPrize my
mother and I went to many entries
and when we made our way to the
Blue Bridge, I told her, “I have to
tell you something after we look at
this next ArtPrize entry.”
She said okay and asked, “Why
don’t you tell me now?”
I told her I would after and we
walked through the displays. She
read several of the stories, then we
walked to the side of bridge. I was
nervous and did not want to tell
her, and when I did she could not
believe it.
“It is hard to think about your
daughter having to endure something
like that,” she said. She
looked at me in sorrow and extended
her arms out to give me a hug.
The idea of her daughter being
abused pained her. She asked me
why I didn’t tell her when I was
younger and I replied, “Because I
knew you would not believe me,
something like that is not easy to
tell.”
I recently told my father what
happened to me, too. He didn’t
know what to say. When he finally
did say something, he wanted to
Jackson’s tattoo resembles her freedom as she
learns to let go of her past.
know who did this to me. I did not
tell him who it was.
“I am sorry you had to go
through that,” he said. He told me
that being able to tell others about
it is one step closer to leaving it
behind.
Although it was difficult to tell
my parents, I felt better in a way by
allowing myself to talk about it. I
felt that I could begin to move on
and start a life that did not revolve
around what happened. I never told
the police, let alone my parents,
about the sexual abuse because I
was young and afraid.
There are many times when
I think about how if I didn’t tell
my parents, how much this would
affect my future. Would I still allow
my past to control my life? Would I
be the timid and anxious person I
once was in high school? Opening
up to my parents about what happened
to me was one of the many
things I never thought I would be
brave enough to do. The courage
to move forward and suppress the
memories is what I have longed for
all these years.
Eight months ago I decided to
get a tattoo, but did not know what
to get. I found one that said “free”
with a bird attached at the end. At
first I did not understand the true
meaning of it. Getting the tattoo
because I was abused was not my
initial intention but thinking about
the meaning made me realize how
free I feel now that I can finally let
the past go. The tattoo became a
sign of freedom. The freedom to
think ahead and to not allow him to
control my life. Now I can move on
to the next chapter in my life, I do
not know where it will take me but
I embrace every moment I am able
to live, free like a bird.
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