MotorScribes Magazine - April 2016

Did youthinktheylurkonlyinthe
dark? Think again.They’re always
around. Waiting in the shadows.
Readytopossessyouwhenyouleast
expectthem to.Regularpeoplewil
neverseethem.ButCarGuysknow
exactly what we’re talking about.
We’vealencounteredthem,evenif
youhaven’trealisedityet…
1.Let‘erR.I.P.
Theylovedthedinner.Theycouldn’tstop
talkingaboutit.Astheyreminiscedthespices
thatstillingeredontheirtongues,thefour
friendsgotinthecar…
…Andthensomeoneletherrip .
Yep,dinnersmeledgood!
4.Spared?Maybenot.
Hewasinthemiddleofnowhereashepuledto
theshouldertoreplaceshisflatrearlefttyre.
Heopenedthebootandpuledoutthespare
wheelonlytorealise
Thesparewasflattoo.
Neversuccumbtotyrepressure.
2.She’srightbesideyou.
Asheturnedthekeyintheignition,hismom
leanedoverandsaid“Thankyouforpickingme
up,son.”Thenthemusicplayed.
“…AndmyNi**asandmybit**eswaveyour
mo**erf**kin’handsintheair.”
RatedPG.Whenthatsongcomesonand
smacksyourightinyourhead,sortof.
5.Atyourservice.
ItwasonordinarydayThesteamingcupof
cofeekepthim awakeastheattendantcamein
tohandoverthekeystohisfreshlyserviced
car.Hetookthekeysalongwiththefolded
sheetofpaper.
Itwasthebil…
DeathbyNumbers.
3.Nails.Long,sharpnails.
Hecouldseeherinthecarahead.Thetopofthe
steeringmadefortheperfectperch.Herhands
weresteady,herbrushstrokesprecise.The
brightrednailcolourflowedsmoothlyover
herperfectnails.Shewasalmostdone,just
twomoretogo.
Andthenthelightturnedgreen.
Patienceisavirtue,
ifIwasinthatcarIwouldhurtyou!
6.Putalidonit!
Itwastimetotankupashespottedthe
gasstation.Hepuledinandwaitedinthequeue
tilfinaly,heparkedwiththedispensertohis
left.Thenhesteppedoutandlookedback;this
wasn’tgood.
Hisfuellidwasontheright.
Whenthepipefalsshortofthefunnel.