The Time Sewer

THE TIME SEWER
RENDEZVOUS WITH YESTERYEAR
PART ONE
Secretary Wob Wall left the Simpson Memorial with the small package inside his
pocket. He had managed to siphon off some of the money from the weekends funfair to
take to Moston’s most secret project. Project Big Bog. For the past ten years he had been
secretly re allocating money from the photography group’s budget and fundraising
activities to a new exciting scientific experiment. Time travel. Today he had another
twenty five quid to deliver. He also had to tell Project Leader Bissell there was no more
money to come. In the ten years he had been involved and the seven hundred pounds he
had got for the project there had been no tangible results, He hadn’t yet even seen the
project. Usually the money was handed over secretly to a shadowy figure who hung
round the sweet stall on the Myp market but today was different he had been given a set
of instructions that he must follow to the letter as he was going to be allowed to see inside
the project and possibly witness an experiment in time travel. He had a quick look at his
instruction sheet, shiftily looked around, put on his bike clips, mounted his push bike and
pedaled off down Kenyon Lane.

The instructions told him he must go to Moston Brook tip, far beyond the safety
of Pete Shaw’s newspaper shop, dark territory indeed. Cycling past Lily Lane school then
taking a left turn he made haste down Lily Lane, picking up speed as it took a slight
incline before meeting with Nigel Road. All around him he saw people going on with
their day to day lives with no knowledge of what was going on, literally, beneath their
feet. He reached the junction of Nigel Road and Church lane, a most dodgy intersection
where the slightest lapse in concentration meant being turned into road kill by mindless
car drivers who never looked properly at the blind opening. Seeing a gap he pedaled
quickly over, looking to his right at Pete Shaw’s shop and wondered whether he should
nip in for a bag of salt and vinegar crisps. Breakfast seemed so far away in the past and
his stomach told him so. “No” he thought to himself “I’ll grab a sandwich on the way
home after I’ve seen what Big Bog can do.” Cycling through the narrow alleyway
between the houses on Lowton Avenue brought him to the desolate Moston Brook tip.
Once an idyllic pasture steeped in history and mysticism it had now become a desolate
dumping ground for the local areas rubbish. Ever since the Dark Time. He stopped his
bike and checked his instruction sheet. He was to look for a rock with a wooden banana
box next to it. He got off his bike and pushed it round by hand so he could navigate the
bricks and potholes. There it was, about twenty yards in front of him. He lay his bike
down next to the rock and looked furtively round to make sure no one was watching. He
moved the box to one side and found what he needed. An old baked bean tin with a piece
of string coming out of the back of it. He pulled it until the string became taught then
spoke into it. “Code Red Brian” he said in his clearest voice. He then put the tin to his ear
and could hear a voice saying “Right O mate. Use the big tree in the distance at the

hospital wall as your line of sight, and head towards the sandpits. You will gain entrance.
Do not look back and do not stop moving. Big Bog out.”
He lined up with the big tree and began pedaling in the direction given. He had to
be careful as the first section took him down the gully and he had to use the bikes brake
to keep his speed to a safe level. At the bottom of the gulley he had to get off his bike and
carry it across the Brook itself which at this point the depth was only three feet deep. The
crossing was about ten yards across where on the other bank he again checked for
direction and headed toward the sand pits. Fifty yard later the sand beneath him opened
up and he disappeared off the landscape.

PART TWO
Project Big Bog was a huge underground facility beneath Moston Brook. Project Leader
Bissell had been approached by Steve and Roo, two theoretical physicists who had
approached him about an idea for time travel being a possibility and would be an
invaluable scientific aid. He hadn’t checked much into their background or he would
have seen that their only qualifications were a completion of a time travel quiz in
Countdown magazine and that they had both a certificate from school for swimming
twenty five metres. Although their ideas, theories, etc for time travel were sound, their
reasoning was “because it should be fun”. In spite of this Bissel had checked local
records and found a suitable area beneath Moston Brook where the old linking bridge and
canal works had once linked to Collyhurst. An ideal spot. Using various contacts he had
managed to get old computer systems from Manchester University that were being
thrown out, electronic components from Nu Cross Supplies and had blackmailed a lot of
people into ‘donating’ various other bits. Doctor Nigel Magellan, an old, close friend of
Roo and Steve’s, was hired by Bissell to put the Project in place and to keep an eye on
Roo and Steve who were often found reading comics instead of getting on with designing
the instrumental architecture of the time travel unit. Doctor Magellan had an argument

with Steve over the total lack of electrical energy that was going to be needed to power
the project. Steve said “allocate me a twenty foot by twenty foot room that only myself
and Roo have access to and I will give you all the energy you need with my secret yet to
be patented mini sub molecular proton generator system”. This was done and Steve
disappeared in there and set to work. Both he and Roo could be seen going into the room
with huge cardboard boxes and crates, the sounds of industrious hammerings could be
heard from inside along with a lot of strong cursing. Within a week the project had more
power than it needed. Doctor Magellan was most impressed but was never allowed to see
inside what became known as The Pit, Steve’s room. The week that they were working
inside there Steve and Roo had made shelves upon shelves for storage. In the boxes and
crates were comics, books, two reclining chairs, a Coca Cola machine for Roo, a fridge
stocked with goodies, a tool set, loads of high tension cable and a spade. Steve had dug
through the surrounding soil and sand till he got to the National grid main power conduit
and doing a big of jiggling and patching had ran enough cables off the main circuit to
power the project. Mrs Story from Summerville Avenue was unfortunately hit with
quarterly electric bills for fifteen million pounds but they were written off as a clerical
error.
Bissell stomped round the project growling a variety of orders to people, mainly
the Special Forces boys of his own that he had brought in. Doctor Nodge Magellan
stomped round in his white lab coat poking Roo and Steve with a stick to get a move on
with the project. Most of the facility was taken up by huge computers that were about as
powerful as a ZX81 but had nicely sequenced, brightly coloured lights. Living quarters
and stores took up most of the rest of space so the lads’ original ‘tunnel’ idea for their

time experiment was discarded. They also thought a time tunnel was a pretty daft idea. So
where could it be built? Steve and Roo used this as a convenient excuse to have a fact
finding exercise which mainly comprised of opening doors, placing hands on chins,
making hmmmmmmmming sounds then wandering off to The Pit with clipboards in
hands, locking themselves inside and reading an inordinate amount of comics, scoffing
chocolate, chicken sandwiches and cans of Coca Cola. After a month or two of this they
realized they were in danger of being tumbled and that Nodge’s stick was being wielded
with more power. They found an old manhole, pulled it up and found an access to an old
Victorian sewer system. This would do nicely. Steve theorized if the time field could be
set up in the fifteen foot deep entrance pipe then the extraneous field given off would
spread into the sewer below by six foot either side of the sewer pipe. The subjects would
climb down the pipe, the field already affecting them, wait at the bottom in the main
sewer, kick in the power and then be transported in time by the navigational computer.
Roo agreed but said most importantly it should have some black and white bands painted
on the pipe interior so it would look cool. So with the designs in place Roo got his paints
and brushes whilst Steve got the tools, fuse wire, valves and some bits from old radios.
After a grueling three whole hours it was complete and ready to be tied into the main
system. The first calibration test was to have a look at Isaac Newton. Steve watched on
the view screen in the main control room whilst Roo kept watch on the field at the
manhole. Steve. Doctor Nodge Magellan, Bissell and the control room crew watched
history in the making as an apple fell onto Newton’s head, little knowing that two
seconds earlier that same apple had been in Roo’s pocket and had fell out of it into the
manhole when he was looking for his yo yo.

Ten years later and many successes with inanimate objects and animals the
project still hadn’t tried a human time travel subject. This was needed to be done to keep
the money coming in. Just another month or two and they’d have done just that. Today
they were to show Secretary Wob the project and its successes and just how near they
were to completing the exchange of a man through time.
PART THREE
As the ground opened up beneath secretary Wob he had visions that he was now just a
listed disappearance in the infamous Moston sandpits. It was indeed a hologram he had
fell through and was now on an elevator going down. He got off his bike and rested it
against the elevator wall to the left of him. He looked at the indicator on the lift to get an
idea of how far down he was going but close examination of the panel shown it was a
frequency indicator off an old radiogram stuck onto the wall with glue that seemingly had
an old torch light behind it. After many minutes the elevator stopped and the doors
opened. Ahead of him were long corridors and a huge military guy with a moustache that
would look better on a walrus.
“Hello secretary. I’m Master Sergeant Jiggs and I’m to escort you to Project Leader
Bissell and Doctor Magellan” the soldier shook Wobs hand almost crushing it. Wob
grinned inanely to hide the pain of cracked ligaments and joints.
“Thank you Sergeant Jiggs. So far this is impressive. We must be hundreds of feet below
the surface judging by the elevator ride. Just how far down are we?” enquired Wob

“Hmmmm” said Jiggs “Actually were only fifty feet down. The elevators motor is off an
old washing machine. It’s playing up at the moment so it takes forever. Follow me sir and
I’ll take you straight to Big Bog’s control centre.”
Wob followed Jiggs through brightly lit, heavily guarded corridors until they came to the
control room. Consoles were placed in front a massive screen that seemed to be showing
a giant image of a manhole. Computers lined the outlying areas of the room. Ahead of
him, with their backs to him were a man in a white lab coat and a military general. Jiggs
walked over to them with Wob following close behind.
“General Bissell, Doctor Magellan. This is Secretary Wob Wall.” Both men turned round,
smiled and offered their hands. After a succession of quick hand shakes and minor
pleasantries the three men got down to business.
“So glad you got here secretary.” Said Bissell. “We thought you may like to see just what
we’ve managed with your seven hundred quid and how close we are to sending a man
through.”
Wob looked awkward as he told both men. “Look, it’s all impressive but for ten years
this place has eaten all the money I can get with no return. I can not fund it any more.
Questions are being asked regarding missing money. I’m sorry.”
Doctor Magellan exploded “Whaddayamean!. We’re on the verge of sending a man
through time. The pinnacle of the ten years of work. You can’t stop now…..we’re a
matter of months away and after today’s donation only need about another twenty quid.
Don’t pooh pooh Big Bog like this.”
Wob took the package of money from his pocket and handed it to Bissel “I’m sorry. I
understand what you are saying but I could lose everything if the money is found to be

missing. I’ve made false accounts and receipts to cover things this last ten years but now
that Smither’s has died they’ve got old Mrs Wetherby doing the accounts. She’ll see
through everything. I’ll have to step down as secretary, lose access to the dark rooms and
have to hand over my library card. I won’t do it.”
Magellan stormed off reciting some lines of Latin poetry that made sense to him but no
one else. Bissell looked at Wob and could see the genuine predicament he was in. “Look
Wob. I’ll get the two lads whose idea all this was. Have a word with them and see how
close we are. If that doesn’t change your mind then that’s that. Unless we find another
benefactor Project Big Bog goes down the drain.”
“I’ll see them but it won’t make a difference. I really am sorry.”
With that Bissell led Wob off in the direction of ‘The Sewer’ to meet with Roo and Steve.

PART FOUR
Steve and Roo were literally laughing themselves to tears. Roo had done another drawing
of General Bissell. This time he was throwing sticks of dynamite at Nodge on it whilst
Nodge was giving Bissell the old two fingered ‘V’ sign.
“Crap. Here’s Bissell now with some fogey.” said Steve. Both him and Roo began trying
to compose themselves and hid the picture underneath a stack of papers.
“Steve I have a zero induction scale on the time converter relay loop” said Roo. Steve
gave him a ‘wtf’ look then realized….bullshit time.
“That’s okay Roo.” He replied. “Zero is fine in fact a tolerance up to 0.8 would still be
fine. I think if we actually create an inertialess entry point on the positronic phased
interleave processing unit then we will have a perfect bridge for the scaled resonance
cascade. Jobs a good ‘un”
“Nice one. I think we can mark that as a minus five on the sadenrico scale.” Said Roo
scribbling on a clipboard.
“Ah always doing something eh lads” said General Bissell “I’d like you to meet Secretary
Wob Wall who has been funding the project for the past ten years. Secretary Wall this is
Steve and Roo. Their surnames are classified under the Selwyn agreement of 1909.”
Again the shaking of hands and exchanges of pleasantries. The lads hated official stuff
and usually escaped. Steve picked up his clipboard “Well we gotta go. We need to make
sure the proton generator can handle the load for the next bit. See ya later…C’mon Roo.”

Bissell grabbed Steve by the shoulder. “Not so fast lads. Unless you can give a good
argument to the secretary, Big Bog’s going down the pan.”
“What?” exclaimed Steve knowing if the project was closed they would have to get
proper jobs. “You can’t do that. We’re just about to send a man through. A couple of
weeks or so and a man will travel in time. For God’s sake man, think of the f-, er
possibilities.”
“I know but I can no longer risk things.” Wob looked at the floor not looking into the
faces of anyone present.
Roo came over and held his clipboard out to Wob. “Look. I know you probably think it’s
a load of old hokum but watch. Steve is there enough power going through the system at
the minute?”
Steve checked the reading on a dial on the wall. “Yeah we have at least thirty
gigawatts…more than enough. Why?”
Roo addressed the Secretary. “If we can show you a glimpse of the past, surely you will
see the necessity of keeping the project open. Me and Steve have been looking at
something from almost a hundred years back .It’s as though you are there without being
there. The next step is being there.” He walked to a small console near the sewer and
typed in something on the keyboard. “Okay Steve. Fire up the tachyon overdrive unit”
Steve flicked a switch “Fired up.”
“Open channel D”
and another switch “Channel D opened”
“Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow”

Steve walked to another consle and flicked more switches “Neutron flow polarity
reversed”
“Throw the main breakers”
“Not the main breakers…Only kidding. Main breakers open. Time stream in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,
zero. Time stream active.”
Roo grabbed the Secretary by his arm and led him to the sewer lip. “Look. Just look. The
past is there mere feet away. A doorway to a different time. “
The Secretary peered into the sewer. He leapt back. “My God”. Slowly he again peered
in. Scant feet away from him was the Titanic sailing upon the cold waters of the Atlantic.
He looked at Roo who was checking his clipboard, at Bissell who stood there proudly, at
Steve who was grinning insanely “Good innit” he said to the secretary.
The secretary moved back. Roo was attaching a piece of string to a cup. “This is
unbelievable. If this is real and not a video projection” (Steve looked away sheepishly as
his original idea was going to be using a film studio to recreate historical scenes and mug
people into handing over cash) “We can see history as it was. No supposition, no
mysteries. We can see things as they actually happened. This could be the greatest
discovery in mankind’s history.”
Roo walked over with his cup and string set up. “I’ll dangle this down the sewer and
bring up some fresh, hundred year old Atlantic water. Steve chuck me over some
sellotape will you.”
Steve threw him a roll of tape. Roo moved to catch it. Unfortunately he moved over and
down the hole disappearing into the depths of time.
“Ooops” said Steve.

PART FIVE
Steve ran into the control room. As he came in Doctor Nodge Magellan spun round in his
seat. “We’ve been monitoring your test. Did you know there’s someone aboard the
Titanic who looks the spitting image of Roo right down to the green rollneck jumper.
This realty gives my theory into synchronistic history a boost”
Steve hit some controls and looked at his old friend “That’s because it is Roo you pillock.
He fell into the sewer when the time field was activated. He was lucky we had been
calibrating it for human experiments. Where is he?”
Nodge used the zoom control to show Roo cowering behind a deck chair on the Titanic,
shouting something.
“Where’s the bleedin’ audio?” said Steve who thumped the console with his fist “Ah
there it is…put it on full Nodge”
From the control rooms speakers was Roo’s voice “ We’re gonna sink. We’re gonna
sink. I wanna go home.”
Nodge turned the volume down and looked at Steve. “He’s going to upset the timelines.
If people take notice and manage to persuade the captain to do anything other than what
was to happen then history will change.”
Steve started banging his head off the console. ”No he wont. We can’t change history and
if he had we wouldn’t be here now, butterfly effect and all that. We designed a paradox
limitation field into the time field that would prevent any of our actions affecting the

timelines. Look, we came up with the idea of time travel for a laugh. Go back get some
rare comics, heckle Shakespeare, show up in old photo’s etc but the more we read up on
it the more we had to make sure our fun didn’t interfere with our present reality.”
Now it was Doctor Magellan’s turn to bang Steve’s head off a console “You bloody idiot.
You design a workable time mechanism to get old comics and have a laugh. You’re
insane”
“Yeah but I’m cute with it. Now remove your hand from the back of my head. Thank
you”
Nodge Magellan was walking round flapping his arms muttering stuff.
Steve looked up and down the console looking for something. “Hey Nodge. I know this
will seem a stupid question but where’s the recall switch gone?”
Nodge looked slightly embarrassed. “Erm…I spilled my coffee on the console the other
day..thats an old module to use in replacement. We hadn’t built a recall switch into the
older ones.”
“Aw crap.” Said Steve looking up at the screen, watching Roo bring his lunch up over the
ships rails. Someone will have to go back and keep an eye on him till the recall switch is
reintegrated. You know he always gets himself in trouble.”
All eyes in the control room were on Steve. He looked round at everyone quizzically until
it finally sunk in.
“Oh. No. I’m not going. It’s bloody dangerous. Send one of the military he-men. I need
to get a recall switch sorted out. It’s going to take a couple of hours so count me out.”
Nodge pressed a switch on the console for the intercom. “Jiggs bring two men to the
control room.”

“Nice one mate. I knew you’d see sense. Right I’ll be in The Pit.” Steve began walking
out as Jiggs and two huge Neanderthal looking types squeezed into uniforms were
coming in.
“Grab him” shouted Nodge.
“What the f..” began Steve as two sets of arms that made Arnold Schwarzenegger look
anorexic grabbed him.
“We’ll sort out the switch. We’ll remount the old one when we’ve cleaned it up a bit.
You’re one of the few people he trusts and who knows what state of mind he’s in now.
Take him to the sewer.”
With that Steve was lifted by his arms, a soldier either side of him and was
unceremoniously led off wildly kicking his feet about.
“Bissell” Nodge shouted into the intercom. “Meet me at the sewer.”

PART SIX
Roo was hiding inside a lifeboat situated above the A deck enclosed promenade. As soon
as he saw the nameplate on the ship he thought that this was the best place to hide. It was
a moonless night and the ocean was still save for the wake of the ship that was a grey
colour in the starlight. Outside of his little hidey hole Roo could hear a small band
playing, people talking and the sounds of festivities on a lower deck. He turned out his
pockets in the hope that there may be something there of help. Somehow an old bus
ticket, a few farthings and a fake ID Steve had made for him to get in a Sci Fi convention
wasn’t going to be much help. But wait…what was that in the bottom of his pocket.
“Please be the miniature fast return switch we were working on?” Roo thought to
himself. He felt the slight bump in his pocket “Right size and shape.” Almost not wanting
to look he closed his eyes as he clasped the small round object in his hand. He opened the
canopy of the lifeboat slightly to let in some light from the deck and slowly opened his
hand. It was indeed an old barley sugar sweet covered in pocket fluff and bits of copper
wire strippings. “Crap” he threw it out of the lifeboat into the depths of the ocean. “Oh
pooh. Mummy.” He sank as far down behind the slat seating as he could and waited for
the inevitable to happen.

“You’re ‘avin a laugh aren’t you. “ said Steve to Nodge. The two man beasts that passed
as soldiers still had a grip of him as Project Leader Bissell entered the Sewer carrying a
handful of clothes.
“Not at all,” replied Bissell “This cruddy suit and hat will enable you to fit in the time
zone so you won’t look out of place and draw attention.”
“Forget it. I go through dressed as I am or you’ll send back a corpse. I won’t be seen dead
in that get up. Anyway I’m supposed to calm him down whilst you get on with the
switch. You’re taking it off one console, cleaning it and integrating it into the new
console. 60 mins work, tops. So should be in and out like a duck mating, no need to
worry about clothes.”
In the sewer itself the time field had built to full intensity. Nodge checked the dials on the
local control console. “Just drop through. I’ve arranged it so that you’ll appear about five
minutes after Roo got there and only a couple of yards from where he’s hiding.”
Steve started down the ladder that led into the sewer. He looked at Nodge “You get that
switch sorted …rapid. We don’t want to be around when the iceberg hits.”
“Don’t you worry mate. We’ll have it fitted before you know. Be seeing you.”
At that Steve continued down the ladder into the time field and disappeared to become a
traveler within the infinite corridors of time.
“Right lads” shouted Nodge. “I want a detachment to go through the dustbins and tips.
Find that recall switch or they’re not coming back!”

PART SEVEN
Time travel via a sewer can be a bit off putting. You get the occasional rat or turd
tumbling alongside you as you travel through a miasma of multicouloured time strata. It’s
an odd feeling too. You feel like you are pulled in every direction in a process that lasts
forever and instantaneously all at once. To be almost able to touch eternity is most
disconcerting and fairly sets your guts to overload. Steve winked into existence out of
view of people who were walking on deck just slightly to the back of the lifeboat in
which Roo was hiding. Within the covered lifeboat Roo was bewailing his lot.
“Here I am trapped on one of history’s biggest sea disasters with no return home. Alone.
Not the best swimmer. No coat and I’m bloody freezin’. I’m pining to be home so much I
can smell the stale kebabs and curry’s from Steve’s room”.
At that moment Steve popped his head through the canvas hearing his friends’ tirade.
“Sorry mate. Just farted. Gippy tummy and all that.”
Roo almost had a heart attack. Then realized it was his old friend. “Steve. Good grief
mate. I thought I was a goner. I take it you’ve come to take me back. I thought I was
ready for being turned into frozen statue. I had visions of ending up like Captain America
did before the Avengers found him, woke him up then tried to beat the crap out of him to
prove who he was. Hang on. You’ve not come to beat me up to find out if I’m me before

I’ve been frozen have you?” Roo reached for a paddle in a defensive gesture but only
managed to seize upon an extremely short length of rope.
“Don’t be daft bro.” said Steve reassuringly “I’ve come to look after you till Nodge
remounts the recall switch. I think we should keep our head down and not call any
attention to ourselves. Fancy a walk?”
“Are you nuts?” Roo said worriedly “We’ll stick out like sore thumbs. You’ve not even
bothered to get rid of your bikers jacket. At least I had an excuse.”
“Nah…God bless ya mate. We’ll be okay. Just act normal we’ll be okay.”
“Act normal. Good God man. We’ve traveled almost a hundred years backwards in time.
We’re on a ship we both know is going to sink pretty soon and you’re saying act normal.”
Steve gave Roo a hand getting out of the lifeboat. “Look mate, trust me. I came straight
away as soon as the machine was recalibrated. They wanted to send someone else but I
was having none of it. Nodge is sorting out the recall switch and we’ll be back soon.
Let’s see if we can get some food somewhere I’m starving.”
Roo looked puzzled then slightly worried, then more worried then had that look of worry
that made even Steve nervous.
“Steve. You really didn’t read that cartoon about basic time travel that I drew for you did
you.”
“Errr…I coloured it in though” Steve grinned, knowing something bad was about to hit
the fan and it was quite possibly something of importance and not just a turd that
accompanied him through the time sewer.
“You should have read it bro. Time is relative. You didn’t have to come straight after me.
You are the one that’s handy dandy with the veeblefetzers and the doohickeys. Right now

you have left the fate of repairing or quite possibly rebuilding the recall switch to a man
who’s only technical qualification is badly rewiring a thirteen amp plug. You could have
fixed it, even if it took years then calibrated the machine to send you here straight after I
arrived.”
Steve looked down sheepishly then grinned again. “Aha. So even if it takes that lot years
they can recalibrate the machine and then whip us out of here fast.”
“Steve. Did you ever finish writing the manual for the Sewer?” Roo gave his friend a
baleful look.
“Not entirely. I did one or two chapters I used the rest of the book for doodling and
writing down pizza orders. We’re in deep crap aren’t we mate.”
“You bet your sweet bippy we are.”
Bissell was leaning over the control console. Nodge could smell the overpowering smell
of Old Spice emanating from the old General. “Magellan.Whats happening. Can we get a
fix?”
“Jeez this is Moston. Course you can get a fix. Whatever you want. I never thought you
were into that stuff.” Nodge replied.
“No you fool. Have we got a fix on the lads?”
“Yeah.Sure. When they use the time field a portion is absorbed into their bodies that
allows us to track and view them through the time stream. Wherever they are we can see
them. They implemented that into the design so they could be photographed with famous
people. I’m telling you Bill and Ted have nothing on these two.”

Bissell looked at the view screen and saw Roo and Steve heading towards the Café
Parisien a couple of decks below where Roo had hidden.
“This is unbelievable Magellan. Utterly unbelievable. “
A phone rang next to Magellan, he answered it and Bissell heard him say. “Crap.Okay.
Just bring what you have from his room and I’ll see what can be done.”
He turned to Bissell. “That was Jigg’s.They’ve checked the bins and the rubbish disposal
area and cant find the recall switch. Jigg’s checked Steve’s room and has found
something. He’s on his way down now.”
Bissell looked at the view screen again just in time to see Steve and Roo sliding down the
aft first class staircase banister in a race. “You just can’t get the staff.” He muttered.
Steve and Roo sat down in the whicker chairs within the Café Parisien. There were about
four other people in there but they were down at the far end. A French waiter was
cleaning round some tables. For all intents and purposes the Café looked as though it had
been transported straight from a French sidewalk. By the windows and doors were
trellises with plants climbing up them.
“Right mate” said Steve “Before I left I set my watch to ships time. I make it 9.40 pm.
That means we have an two hours till the ‘berg hits so we need to weigh up options.”
The waiter came over with a little notepad and pencil “Bonjour monsieur’s”.
Steve turned to his friend “Leave it to me Roo” then spoke to the waiter “Bon Jooer
mate. Allez vous duo cuppa pour moi et moi compadre.”
The waiter looked puzzled “Pardon, mes amis”

Steve tried again. Held up two fingers. Duo cuppa’s of tea” now held his index fingers
together in the shape of a letter T.
The waiter leaned over and whispered in Steve’s ear “Are you takin’ the piss. I’ll get you
your tea. Drink it then piss off” he said in a broad cockney accent then went off through
one of the doors.
“What did he say?” enquired Roo
“He remarked how well I spoke French.”
Bissell and Nodge were talking as Jiggs ran in carrying a white shoebox under his arm.
He handed the box over to Nodge. Scrawled on the lid of it in black crayon were the
words ‘Keep Off. Steve’s. Recall switch Mk 2’.
“Was this all?” Nodge asked Jiggs
“Yes Sir.”
Nodge placed it on top of the console and tore away the sticky tape keeping the lid in
place. Inside was a dog eared copy of ‘Busty and Bouncy’, a bar of half eaten galaxy
chocolate, a broken screwdriver. Right at bottom of the box was what could only be the
switch he was working on. Two ice lolly sticks wrapped with five amp fuse wire
connected to a small badly soldered box with two wires, one black, one red coming out of
it. Stuck on the small badly soldered box was a Post It note with Steve’s handwriting on it
. In big urgent letters it said ‘MUST FINISH!!!!!” with a little smiley face next to it.
Nodge turned to Bissell. “He’s a pillock.”

Roo was just finishing his cup of tea. He was shivering. It was getting colder. Steve was
gazing absently out to see, his brain ticking over. Roo knew this. To others at times Steve
can seem like a brainless twit. Okay…more than at times but Roo knew that amongst the
absent mindedness, stupidity, banality, front and fun there was a brain and an incredible
knack of making or fixing almost anything. Roo was the sensible one who thought things
through before doing anything whilst Steve just barreled through with stuff. Now it seems
that a mixture of thought and bull headedness may be needed. When Steve looks like he
is doing with that absent look there’s usually a damn good plan forming with an end
product attached. He thought he should find out, after all the clocks ticking away.
“So me ol’ mucker. What’ve you come up with?”
Steve looked round smiling. “Nowt yet mate but I’ve finally remembered where I put that
Batman 80 page Giant I thought I lost.”
Roo banged his head off the wicker table. “You’re a pillock.”
Nodge had been looking at the switch turning it over in his hands. Bissell interrupted his
reverie.
“Have you worked out if you can do anything with it yet Magellan?”
“Hmmmm…Not as such. The black and red wires most definitely connect to the temporal
phased relay loop. What worries me is what’s in the box and what needs finishing.”
Bissell glowered at him “So just open it up and get one of the techs on it.”

Nodge just stared at him before saying. “You don’t really know Steve do you? All the
years you’ve worked with him you really don’t know the guy. Steve does everything his
own way. If the techs opened this they wouldn’t have a clue. Not that it’s some form of
future physics or electronics involved, not at all. Steve does things simply. Look. These
lolly sticks with the fuse wire. I bet each of the lengths of wire is a specific size to do a
specific job. What the job is I have no idea but that’s more than likely what he’s done.
Inside the box there are probably some old bits from a wireless soldered to a digital
watch. He’s crazy but brilliant. I’m betting the thing that’s missing is either he was going
to paint it black or stick a silly sticker on it like ‘Top Secret’. I’ll get the techs to wire it in
then run a tolerance test on it. If it passes we’ll activate it and hopefully bring them
home.”
“And if it doesn’t work?”
Nodge looked at the view screen watching his friends chatting over a cuppa on the deck
of a ship long since dead. “They’ll either die on the Titanic or be ripped apart in the time
stream.”

PART EIGHT
Steve and Roo had left the Café Parisien after some dirty looks from the waiter. Right
now they were on the forecastle deck. Peering into the dark, Steve checked his watch and
turned to Roo. “Look, we best head aft in a while to buy us some time after the hit.
Whatever we do will not stop what is to happen from happening. Stupid paradox
limitation field. I had an idea of scavenging some parts from the radio room, making a
resonator circuit to bounce us back into the time stream.At least we would be off here and
it would bide Nodge and Big Bog some time. Problem is I would need a boiled sweet and
some copper wire strippings to complete the circuit. Fat chance of finding those here.”
Roo coughed and looked around. Changing the subject quickly Roo said “It’s only just
hitting me. We’re part of history..I mean past history. You’ve always got me into some
sort of adventure but this takes the biscuit. If it wasn’t for imminent death I’d thank you
for this.”
Steve sighed “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I thought the whole experiment would be a
big laugh. If I thought it was going to be like this I’d never have involved you. Sorry
bro.”
“Are you crackers? This is the trip of a lifetime. Lets enjoy it while we can.”
Steve put his arm round his old friends shoulder. “Let’s get a whiskey. No ice.”
The pair laughed as they headed back along the ship.

The two friends had made their way aft and found the third class public room. Steve had
whipped a couple of whiskeys off a passing waiter who would find himself two drinks
lighter when he reached his destination. Steve laughed himself silly watching Roo’s face
as he drank it. They passed the time relating tales and coming up with wackier ideas as
the time approached for the disaster to strike.
Bissell was pacing back and forth along the control room. Nodge’s console was opened
as two technicians were wiring the switch into place. Nodge called him over.
“Well?” said Bissell.
Nodge scratched his head. “It should be wired in within a minute or two then we have to
run the tolerance tests. Thats another hour.”
“Dammit man. The iceberg hits anytime now.” Shouted Bissell
“I know but the ship took almost three and a half hours to sink so we should be okay.” He
looked up almost willing the two figures on the screen to reappear back within the sewer.
Steve was looking again at his watch. He’d been intent on it for the last few minutes.
“There we go. Contact. Look out of the porthole over there.”
Both Steve and Roo walked over to the starboard side of the ship just in time to see a
dark object slide past.
“I never felt anything.” Said Roo.
“Nope. Not many did but right now the Captain has just gone onto the bridge asking
questions, boiler rooms are starting to fill with water and watertight doors are uselessly
being closed. Nodge if you’re watching get that f*&%ing switch done”

The ship was rapidly taking on water. At the bow of the ship crewmembers could hear
escaping as the forepeak tank was filling with water. Pumps were activated and ships
officers and crew were assessing the damage. Six watertight compartments had been
ruptured and the extent of the damage was finally realized. Titanic’s Captain Smith
realized that over 2,200 people’s lives were in danger and that the shortage of lifeboats
meant many people would die in the icy waters of the Atlantic. More crewmen were
becoming aware of a problem as they ‘felt’ the ship didn’t feel or sound right. It was only
a matter of time before the passengers would find out and panic would ensue.
The technician ran over to Nodge Magellan. He had joined Bissell in a pattern of floor
pacing. “Sir the tolerance tests. They are not within the required parameters. They are
showing five percent below the norm.
“What does that mean?” Bissell asked Nodge.
“It means its close enough we don’t have time to mess around. Fire up the time field and
lock onto Roo and Steve. Now!”
Big Bog was a hive of activity. Technicians ran about, soldiers ran about, Bissell paced a
bit faster. Over the interior tannoy system a technician could be heard. “Targets locked.
Time stream in 5,4,3,2,1. Initiating. Crap. The sewer has shorted”
Nodge typed away at the computer console he was at. He looked gravely at Bissell.
“We’ve moved them. Unfortunately we’ve managed to move them forwards to 2.00 am.
They’ve got twenty minutes to live unless we repair the sewer and get that recall switch
working properly.”

Thankfully for all in the main control room the view screen was blank.
PART NINE
The recall switch being pulled was a disaster at Big Bog but most disorientating for Steve
and Roo. They were midway in a minor argument about if Red Sonja was better looking
than Ms Marvel when they were abruptly relocated in time. As it was an emergency shift
and also quite a miniscule jump along the timeline they didn’t feel the strange sensation
they associated with time travel. One split second they were talking in a quiet room the
next split second there were people running round in blind panic and the room was
dipping severely towards the front of the ship. Outside they could hear screams and
shouting.
“What happened there mate?” said Roo looking round worriedly.
Steve got up and ran to a porthole. “We’re low down in the water. There’s lifeboats out
there and people in the water.” He looked at his watch “Crapperino bro. It’s 2.00 a.m.
They must have tried an emergency recall. Something’s gone wrong. We’ve got about
fifteen to twenty minutes before we join the Birdseye clan. We best get right to the back
of the boat as that’s the last part to go down.”
The two friends legged it out of the door to the rear of the ship.
Most of the remaining steerage passengers and crew had retreated to the stern, with the
first and second class staying on the boat deck. A small crowd of men were swarming
over the the roof of the officers quarters where the two remaining collapsible lifeboats
were still securely lashed. Elsewhere deckchairs were thrown over in the hopes that

swimmers could use them for floating with. The captain relieved the men in the wireless
rooms who had been continually sending telling them it was every man for himself. Steve
stopped to look at a chart that was placed on a wall showing the daily status of the
impressive runs done by the ship. What good were they now thought Steve? The bow was
now under water. The lights of the Titanic casting an eerie glow on the water. There was
a gurgling noise as water started pouring over the railings onto the bridge and up through
the hatchways behind the bridge wings that led to A deck. The bow began to plunge
swiftly, causing a huge wave to wash aft from the forward end of the boat deck washing
many people overboard. As the stern was lifting higher into the air a great roaring sound
was heard as every movable object from grand piano’s, dozens of carefully packed trunks
to thousands of pieces of china crashed forwards.
Nodge was standing over the technicians in the Sewer “C’mon. There’s not long left
before it’s too late”
“Sir. Everything is jerry rigged as best as we can get it. It’s the best we can do under the
circumstances but it should hold and hopefully the recall switch will patch in neatly.
Ready when you are.”
“Thank you Mr Scott.” Nodge thumbed the intercom “Bissell get this thing powered up.
Lets bring the boys back home”
A slow hum began building up inside the Sewer.
Steve ad Roo fought there way up onto the docking bridge practically at the rear of the
ship. The ship was now so steep people were sliding off the decks into the water.

“Hold on mate. This is going to be rough. When we start to slide in wait til the water is
about twenty feet below then jump as far away as you can then swim like hell.You don’t
want to get caught in the suction.”
With a great tearing of metal the ship split between the third and fourth funnels. The bow
slipped below the surface whilst the stern settled back almost on an even keel. Slowly
though that too began to slip beneath the icy waters.
Roo turned to Steve “I remember you once said that you would die alone. Hate to prove
you wrong bro. You’ve been a great friend, nice knowing you. See you on the other
side?”
Steve grinned his best disarming grin. “The honour is all mine Roo. On the other side
you’ll get to the good place, me….I’m up for barbecues and wild parties. Put a word in
for me just in case.”
The water was quickly building up speed, people were dropping off Roo and Steve
prepared to jump, then winked out of existence.
Bissell turned to Nodge. “Have we got them?”
Nodge was twiddling dials. On the view screen Roo and Steve were tumbling through the
infinite corridors of time.
“I’ve got them in the return pattern shift overlay…I just can’t boost the resonator
frequencies.”
The console underneath Nodge’s fingers began to spark as it shorted out. The viewscreen
went blank.

“My God.” Said Bissell “Are they… gone”
Nodge wiped the sweat from his brow “No…at least I don’t think so. I think they’ve
materialized in a nearer point of history. We’ll trace them as soon as we repair or replace
the equipment. You go tell Secretary Wall we need the funding more than ever to bring
them home.”
Once again Steve and Roo felt the strange pull in every direction of time travel, of being
everywhere and everywhen at the same moment. Slowly new surroundings coalesced
around them.
“Jeez that was close. Are you alright mate?” Steve asked Roo
“Yeah. Too close. We’re not home but at least we’re not swimming.”
They looked round them. They were on an old track road surrounded by fields. The sun
was just coming up.
Steve looked round “Where on Earth and more importantly when are we?”
“We’ll head down the road a bit. Theres a sign post down there.” Said Roo pointing in
the direction of the sign post.
The two friends walked towards it. Steve looked the sign over as they approached it.
“I can’t make it out mate. Looks like Chinese or Japanese writing. You should know a bit
of it after your jungle warfare escapades.” Steve looked round to see Roo knelt in the
road similar to Charlton Heston at the end of Planet of The Apes.
“Those fools.Those damn fools. Damn them, damn them all to hell.” Shouted Roo
“Hey..people say I’m nuts. What’s the sign say mate.”
Roo looked up with that worried look that worried Steve “It says Hiroshima 5 miles”