Magazine Draft #1

ONE SCARY DARK MAZE
Finding a Way Through of the Walls of
Domestic Abuse
On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the
United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men. Hard
to believe, but this is a very real statistic in a report from the National Coalition Against
Domestic Violence. These numbers are chilling and truly unnerving, especially when
someone we know becomes a statistic in this report.
.
I was once one of those statistics, but finally found the strength to remove myself from
those numbers. Now I am an advocate for others trying to find their way out of this scary
maze. It’s such a dark and unforgiving space to be in – I know all too well how difficult it is
to find a way out. When on the other side, those, like me, who make it out find ourselves
asking those who are still stuck within these walls the very same questions that we were
asked when we were stuck on the inside, praying to get out. No, we haven’t forgotten that
journey – the terror, the tears, the terrible guilt, and awful shame – of being trapped in a
place that we sometimes so willingly entered of our own volition.
Just today, I received a call for help from inside ‘The Maze”. Calls can get out but it seems
that return messages become muddled by the density of these darks walls. The call I
received today went something like this:
Through tearful sobs I heard familiar words that sounded like my very own voice – “I have to
get out, but I can’t, she said. “The level of violence is increasing and my daughter’s life is
now also in jeopardy”, she added. And my response was “Why?” But I knew why, even
though I stupidly asked the question.
And she said, “I’m not ready to leave yet, I need a job and money to leave” And my
response was “Why do you have to wait for that, can’t you move in with family or friends/”
And she said, “This is my house, I worked so hard to get it, I can’t leave it; it’s too hard to
start over”. And my response was, “Why can’t you start over?” Why? Why? Why? are not the
words that helped move me through that difficult pathway, so why was I even asking?
The theory of relativity in science says, in essence, that elements that affect change in life
are not based on a hypothesis (supposition) but on empirical (what one actually observes
and experiences) discovery – stated in simple language that a person stuck in a scary maze
of abuse, distrust, fear and confusion would understand – it’s easy to state what seems
obvious to someone on the outside of the maze, but those within the wall are