November 2016

A matter of life and death
We all make plans for our
lives, so why do we put off
planning for death, asks
Hasina Zaman
The last
taboo
Picture: WI Life
It won't come as much of a surprise to hear that
more people die in winter than at any other time
of the year. What may be more of a puzzle is why
we're all so unprepared for it.
In the past life (and death) was simpler. We lived
in closer communities; death was much more an
everyday thing and the funeral was a community
event. Today, we tend to live alone or in small
family units and the care of our elders tends to be
separate from us.
While we make plans to get a job, buy a house, get
married, have children, we rarely make plans for
the one certainty in life – death. Making funeral
plans is seen as morbid, it can be emotionally
and financially draining and it often feels better to
deny it all together. A statement we often hear is
“If someone dies, I just wouldn’t know what they
would want.”
When death happens, grief can rest heavily, both
physically and emotionally. This is when great
compassionate care is needed.
When funeral wishes are left by the person who
has died, the funeral is far less stressful, easier
to organise and much more economical. With
plans in place the bereaved families are allowed
to process their emotions and are empowered
to carry out the decisions of their loved one, thus
making the final journey pass with ease and grace.
Emma left clear funeral wishes. She wanted
a hand-made pine coffin. She wanted to stay
at home until the day of the funeral, washed
and dressed in a bubble-gum pink shroud. She
wanted her coffin to be carried by the family, and
to have a camper van hearse to take her to a
natural burial ground.
Planning our funeral plan is a responsible act. It
means that we’ve taken steps so we don’t burden
18 LOVEEAST
our family with uncertainty and added costs. It
means that we’ve embraced our death, which
gives us a peace of mind and allows us to truly
embrace life.
Susan took out a pre-paid funeral plan, as she
has few friends that make up her community.
She wants to be cremated at City of London
Crematorium as it's next door to Compassionate
Funerals.
We regularly host Death Cafés with tea, cake
and a safe space to talk about death, dying and
bereavement. This is our way to make funerals
open and accessible. Please come for a chat and
a cup of tea. We'd love to meet you.
We are funeral directors that provide funeral and
repatriation service, prepaid funeral plans and
undertake headstone work.
compassionatefunerals.co.uk
89a Aldersbrook Road, E12 5DG