PreciouOne eMagazine

Mistakes
are
LEARNING
OPPORTUNITIES
We have all heard the
sayings "To err is
human" and "you live
and you learn". We make
mistakes every day, large and small,
failures and faux pas. But failure
and mistakes still don't feel like an
awesome learning opportunity. I know
it is my shortcomings that make me
unique and that I should embrace
the stumbles and screw ups. But it is
a challenge for me and a challenge
for many of us. We live and act in
ways to prevent mistakes -- not taking
risks, expanding our comfort zones
or jumping outside the boxes we hide
in. But our mistakes and failures are
gifts, gems, guideposts in our learning
and growth as people. So embrace
failures, mistakes, screw ups and
shortcomings because they not only
make us uniquely who we are, but also
teach us powerful lessons like the nine
below.
8
Mistakes teach us to clarify what we really want and
1.
how we want to live. The word mistake derives meaning
only by comparison to what we desire, what we see as
success. Noticing and admitting our mistakes helps us
get in touch with our commitments--what we really want
to be, do, and have. Mistakes wake us up and focus
our attention like a flashing sign that says "fix this". The
urgency created causes us to focus on issues or problems
that make us feel off track. Working on possible solutions,
redefining what we want or expect, or reexamining our
values or goals can lead us to more clarity about our path.
Mistakes teach us to accept ourselves and that we can be
2.
flawed and be loved. We can fully appreciate ourselves,
even while acknowledging our screw ups. It is possible
to laugh at our mistakes and then work hard to correct
them. Most of us have a long history of putting ourselves
down when we blow it. But it's a self-defeating habit we
must break so that we can start appreciating ourselves,
mistakes and all. People who love and care about us will
stick with us through all our flaws and floundering. Our
not so perfectness is what makes us unique and we are
loved for it. So we should give ourselves a break.
Mistakes teach us to accept our fallibility and face our
3.
fear. Sometimes even our best efforts just don't work out.
We might do everything possible to achieve a certain
result and still fail, again and again. When this happens
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we can admit that we're stuck.
Facing mistakes often takes
us straight to the heart of our
fears. And when we experience
and face those fears, they can
disappear. When we are stuck
and admit that we can't do
it alone it sends a signal and
opens the door for help to show
up. People, resources, and
solutions will appear, especially
when we ask for help.
Mistakes teach us about
4.
ourselves and how to tell our
truth. It is natural to want to
cover up our mistakes or be
embarrassed by them. To feel
like we wish we had a handy
mistake eraser or remover.
But being honest about our
failures and limitations offer us
opportunities to practice telling
the truth.
Admitting the truth allows us
to expand our knowledge of
self-to know who we are. And
thus, increases our capacity to
change. It is like holding up a
mirror to ourselves and really
seeing. When we tell others
about our mistakes, to let them
really see us, it allows us to
let go of the embarrassment,
shame and blame we may feel
so that we can concentrate on
learning and growing.
Mistakes teach us, through
5.
analysis and feedback, about
what works, and what doesn't.
It's a reality check. When we
experience the consequences
of mistakes, we get a clear
message about which of our
efforts are working--and which
are not. The feedback we get
from our mistakes can be the
most specific, pointed, and
powerful feedback we'll ever
get. Many times we can trace
mistakes to recurring patterns
of belief or behavior--things
we do, say, and think over and
over again. When we spot and
change a habit we may find that
other areas of our lives change
for the better.
One way to gain maximum
benefit from mistakes is to
examine them through the filter
of powerful questions:
"How can I use this experience?";
"What will I do differently next
time?"; "How will I be different in
the future?" Questions like these
lead to an inquiry that invites
solutions.
Mistakes teach us to take
6.
responsibility. Sometimes our
instinctive reaction to a mistake
is to shift blame elsewhere:
"It's not my fault." "You never
told me about that," Or the
classic "I don't see how this has
anything to do with me." It is
more empowering to look for
our role in the mistake. Taking
responsibility for a failure
may not be fun. But the act of
doing so points out what we
can do differently next time.
Investigating our role reminds
us that our choices and our
actions have a huge influence
on the quality of our lives.
Mistakes teach us about
7.
integrity. Mistakes often happen
when we break promises,
over-commit, agree to avoid
conflict or fail to listen fully. Big
mistakes often start as small
errors. Over time, tiny choices
that run counter to our values
or goals can accumulate into
breakdowns. Even our smallest
choices have power, so it is
important we pay attention to
the integrity of the choices we
make every day. Mistakes can
be a signal that our words and
our actions are out of alignment.
In that case, we can re-examine
our intentions, reconsider our
commitments, and adjust our
actions.
Mistakes teach us to engage in
8.
our lives -- to live fully. We are
not our behaviors and we are
more than our mistakes. We
can remember that our history
does not have to predict our
future. And then remember that
we have an opportunity to go
all in--to participate fully. Many
people, when faced with a big
mistake, begin to pull back--to
retreat. Instead, we can use
the failure as evidence that
we are growing, risking, and
stretching to meet our potential.
Mistakes help us to remember
that we are not content to play
it safe. That we understand that
without risk there is sometimes
no reward.
Mistakes allow us to inspire
9.
others. They may be inspired
when we are courageous and
make our private struggles
public. They might decide
to live differently. When a
lifelong smoker who's dying
of emphysema talks about the
value of being smoke-free, we're
apt to listen. The same kind of
contribution also occurs when
we speak candidly about less
serious mistakes. As parents
we can teach our children
that it is OK to fail because we
are willing to let them see our
failures and mistakes. This gives
us opportunities to talk through
what we could or would have
done differently. These are
powerful lessons for those
around us.
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