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Signing online petitions is kind of like a<br />
tissue box with a never-ending supply.<br />
You sign one—let’s say, to end the DAPL<br />
pipeline. Then you get a pop-up that says,<br />
“There’s much more work to be done. Celia,<br />
won’t you sign another petition?”<br />
as people flipped my posters aside and proceeded with their purchases, unfazed<br />
by my carefully placed leaflets. “Damn those robots! All they care about are their<br />
beauty products,” I grumbled beneath my six-inch tower of bangs.<br />
For my next round of awareness, I added blotches of red. “Let’s see how these<br />
sheep react now that things have gotten bloody. It won’t be so easy to ignore.” I<br />
was wrong. It was still easy to ignore. When I wasn’t able to have an impact on<br />
the masses, I concentrated my efforts on my family. My brother and sister really<br />
enjoyed waking up to photos of bloody animals taped to their toothbrushes and<br />
razors. Makeup bags were stuffed with leaflets informing them of the dangers of<br />
cosmetics. My mother promised to clear the bathroom cabinet and replenish our<br />
closet with more humane products. I was having a major influence on the policies<br />
in my house.<br />
The home-based approach is what I am working on now. I pledge that there will<br />
be no fracking in my house. I won’t blow anyone or anything up, and immigrants<br />
are welcome. No one will be brutalized (without reason), and I am an advocate<br />
for human rights, women’s choice and kindness to all living things. This is the<br />
best I can come up with for 2017—a grassroots effort in my house.<br />
The election season and the unanticipated result showed that I clearly have<br />
NO idea what is going on in the world, despite my mainlining of the news. So,<br />
the head in the sand will have to work for a while. It is the only path I can see<br />
at the moment to actually have a happy new year. It’s like walking through a<br />
snowstorm: keep your head down, spirits up, and carry on until you make it to the<br />
other side. If you see someone freezing along the way, offer them some tea and<br />
invite them along.<br />
In case of emergency, there are always the kitten videos. What you can do is,<br />
first, alleviate sadness and feelings of despair with the kittens. Then, once your<br />
spirits have been lifted, you pause the kittens and go to Change.org and sign a<br />
few dozen petitions. Look, you did it! The at-home, furry path to change. I’m not<br />
saying you will win a peace prize or anything, but it may keep you from jumping<br />
off a cliff, so that’s something.<br />
My new year’s resolution: Kittens, petitions, repeat.
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