Central

An Alphabetization of My Paranoid Experiences
A device in his helmet, to the left of his left eye, barely detectable,
scans for facial recognition.
A kind of security-state mirror phase
After about 2-3 days I felt it lift
all the possibilities unfolded before me in my mind
around when I began to realize my behavior could be considered
suspicious
because the realization that I might be being watched by people in
camouflage with guns was traumatic
But that felt like it might jeopardize my project, which was not to talk
to the police, but to observe them
But the store is always empty and because it’s made of glass and mirror
I always feel watched
But then the person turns around and looks right at you, with the very
particular facial expression of someone looking for who is looking at
them
Could this really happen?
every minute of our lives is recorded in a variety of ways
feel it, then look up, and there someone is, staring right at you
how quickly thought moves at times like that
I felt his eyes boring a hole into my back
I had to be wrong
I set myself up as a still point
I started to fear them interfering with my life
I turned and caught them looking at me
I was following them and they were performing; but still I was
performing them and these things in writing
I was just being paranoid
I am recorded therefore I am
is it possible the military have their ways of being able to tell when
someone is an artist?
It cannot be tossed off as paranoia
It didn’t start right away, there was a day when the sense of being
watched came over me like a shadow
it felt like they were everywhere and aware of me
just to realize police had always been there
looking in on some secrets I shouldn’t be a part of
Maybe I see bad where there is nothing, but where once something
terrifying was
Maybe I turned my attention on them first
Maybe it was a fantasy that originated from me seeing them
Maybe their surveillance cameras are so good they can zoom in and see
what I type
Maybe they became bored with me
Maybe they brought in an expert in long distance keystroke-reading to
discern what I was typing
Once the camouflaged men were no longer interested in me
one guard came very close and looked right at me