Mojatu Berkshire Magazine Issue B011

10 category
mojatu.com
take the abuser’s side. One major characteristic
of abusers is that they are very charming, very
friendly and very generous to everyone else but
their partner.
A woman in Kenya whose husband chopped off
her hands for not bearing him a child.
7. Disability
Women with disabilities may feel that their wellbeing
is dependent upon the abusive partner,
especially if they are physically dependent on
them. This can easily influence their decision
to stay in an abusive relationship. Disabled
women are more likely to experience Domestic
violence than able women. The women with the
disabilities will report abuse that lasts longer
and is more intense than women without
disabilities.
8. Pregnancy/Parenting
The pressure to raise their children with both
parents together, may contribute to many
women not to leave abusive partners and
especially if the abusive partner threatens
to take or harm the children. Pregnancy has
always been a licence for abusive partners
because they think they can get away with their
abusive behaviours, owing to the fact women
will always want to stay with the father of their
children.
9. Cultural/Religious Reasons
Traditional and religious gender roles can make
it difficult for young women to admit to being
abused. Culture or religion influence so many
relationships, especially in Africa, Asia and
Middle East. Because of the fear of bringing
shame upon their family, most women opt to
stay in an abusive relationship which may in
some occasions lead to severe depression due
to prolonged trauma.
10. Social/Peer Pressure
If the abuser is popular or famous, it can be hard
for a woman to tell their friends for fear that
no one will believe them or that everyone will
11. Distrust of Adults
Younger women may feel like they have no
adults to turn to or that no one will take them
seriously and especially if the relationship was
not initially supported by parents/ guardians or
friends.
12. Distrust of Police
Many women and young adults do not feel
that the police can or will help them, so they
don’t report the abuse. In some cases, the
police will tell the victim that they are wasting
police time especially if the victim doesn’t
have evidence of physical abuse. There are
so many colours of domestic abuse. It can be
physical, psychological, emotional or financial
manipulation.
13. Language Barriers & Immigration Status
In the case of undocumented persons, they may
fear that reporting the abuse will affect their
immigration status. This happens a lot. Foreign
women are likely to encounter domestic abuse
due to lack of knowledge on how the system
works in the country of residence. Also, if their
first language isn’t English, it can be difficult to
express the depth of their situation to others.
What to do?
If you feel you are a victim of domestic abuse, call
the police. If you are afraid to call the police, book
an appointment with your GP only if you are sure
they won’t take sides. Like I said, abusive partners
are smart. If they thought you are likely to report the
abuse, they will go to the GP you both go to ahead of
you and report that they are very distressed because
you are distressed and therefore you are distressing
them with your distress. I knew that at some point
things had to change. So many teardrops. I knew it
wasn’t going to be long. The change was going to
come somehow.
“My Partner came home one day and said to me our
GP wanted to see me. We had had a share of our
problems and rows. When I went to the GP, the first
question she asked me was when was the last time I
had spoken to my mum or family. Because I did not
understand why she had wanted to see me, I was
very bubbly even though she could detect some
stress deeply lodged inside of me and sometimes
escaping to the surface. She asked if being away from