IN THIS ISSUE: - National Capital Chapter, BMW CCA

Bimmer Nervosa
Medical Science has recently discovered a serious psychosis
which is named "Automobilia Nervosa." It is identifiable, in
its early stages, by certain symptoms such as increased heart
rate in the presence of sports cars, sweating palms when coming
into contact with MOMO steering wheels, and so on. . . .
As this disease advances, other bizarre behavior patterns
become evident. You very likely have the disease if you:
• Armoral your spare tire,
• Inspect the image of your freshly-washed car in plate
glass windows,
• Dust the dashboard while waiting at traffic lights,
• Wax the underside of your hood,
• Tune the engine weekly,
• Keep two or three auto accessory catalogs by your bedside
in case inspiration should strike you while you are
asleep,
• Close the door for passengers so they won't slam it (or
worse yet, get fingerprints on the window),
• Take the long way home from work because the curves
are better on that road,
• Armorall the side strip inserts,
• "Forget" to turn off your Bamberg deck so the Bose
quads will energize your passengers half-way through
the sunroof when you hit the ignition switch,
• Change brake pads for the fun of it,
• Struggle to avoid looking superior when the Camaro in
front of you runs into the beam in a vain effort to stay
ahead of you on a twisting road,
• Park so far out in the shopping center parking lot that
you have to take the shuttle bus to get back to your car,
• Armorall the plastic valve stem caps on your tires,
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• Roll the sunroof back on the first warm day in February
even though you have to turn the heater on full blast
just to stay lukewarm,
• Suggest that the four of you take your neighbor's 911
to the theater (or we could take the BMW!!),
• Sneak frequent peeks out to the parking lot during the
day to see how your car is doing,
• Periodically throw away three or four of your least used
wax cans,
• Take your wife's car to the grocery store if it looks like
rain,
• Put on your most convincing "can't everybody corner
like this?" expression when zooming up behind other
cars on the freeway ramps,
• Feel physically ill when your car is not running right,
or is down for repairs (this symptom is especially dangerous,
as it indicates the final stages of the disease!).
Although there is no known cure for the disease, there are
some treatments which have provided temporary relief: buy a
Chevrolet, cancel all your car magazine subscriptions and
read only Consumer Reports, or renew your membership to
the BMW Car Club where you'll get all the sympathy you
need to sustain you from here on out.
J & F MOTORS LTD.
EXCLUSIVELY B M W
Computerized:
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USED BMW Sales
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Richard Mansfield
BUCKEYE CHAPTER