auto biography

Love and Mystery 

Uphill and Hopes 

World’s Shortest Autobiography by 

KHAWAR SALIM

Love and 

Mystery. 

Uphill and 

Hopes.

Love and 

Mystery. 

Uphill and 

Hopes. 

268 

Deepest expressions and 

happenings of my life 

World’s Shortest Autobiography 

by Khawar Salim

A copy of the CIP data is available from the British Library. All rights 

reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used 

in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the 

publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review. 

ISBN 978-969-23086-0-1 

Copyright © 2015 

Cover Photograph: Khurshid Masood 

Facilitators 

Kevin Anderson & Associates Inc. 

New York Times Bestselling Ghostwriters and Editors 

Lead Editor 

M. Khalid Rahman 

Editor-in-charge, Dawn magazines 

[Young World, The Review, Sci-tech World]. 

Consultant Editor 

Erin Mcknight. Nominated for the Pushcart Prize 

and W.W. Norton’s The best Creative Nonfiction. 

Conceptual Editor 

Shahmin Rehan 

Painting used in this book by Khawar Salim 

First edition printed in XYZ 2016 

by XYZ, New York, NY 10011. 

PAKISTAN’S FIRST EVER HOTSHOP SINCE 1993 

Design and Layout by 

Creative Workshop 

Suit # 2, 1st Floor, 65-C 

24th Street, Tauheed Comm. 

Area, Phase V, DHA. 

Karachi 75500. Pakistan. 

www. creativeworkshop.com.pk

In the name of 

extremely 

beautiful Creator 

of all, the most 

merciful.

ABOUT THE 

AUTHOR 

It was a shock when I 

hopped in to meet a concept 

writer and got a job offer. I 

was a fine-art alumnus; it 

was a big break. Left school 

and joined the agency. This 

is how I started my career. 

In the next few years, I 

realized that art direction 

was my forte. 

Worked for Prestige Grey, 

IAL Saatchi & Saatchi, and

other well-reputed agencies 

with great freedom and 

immense inner drive. Then 

I founded my own creative 

hot shop—the Creative 

Workshop. And, with 

renewed zeal, explored new 

heights. 

Worked for more than five 

hundred alluring brands 

during the last thirty-five 

years. Catered Nestlé, 

Procter & Gamble, ICI, 

Cadbury, Unilever, Yamaha, 

Sony Ericsson, Lindt, 

Brooke Bond, Daihatsu,

Searle, Gillette, Kraft 

Foods, GSK, Dell, Novo 

Nordisk, Philips, 3M, 

Samsung, British Council, 

and many more. Won many 

awards. 

Directed TV commercials 

in Pakistan and abroad. 

Loved to paint. Did 

sculpture. Also did some 

good conceptual writing. 

Then a sudden stroke left 

me slightly incapacitated in 

2013.

* EPISTLE: What I did for Creative Workshop 

was only below-the-line activities: packaging, 

promotions, shopper marketing, events, product 

launches, documentaries, and creative support to 

these beloved brands. Directed TVCs.

Dedicated to the 

angelic icon 

who happens to be 

my mother

Making It 

Happen 

The brutal stroke left me 

crippled. The reality of being 

utterly helpless pervaded my 

life. Shuddered with absolute 

horror, and convoluted with 

desperation, I lay on my bed 

all the time, recalling the days 

and years gone by. The 

overwhelming sense of this

calamity was so powerful, it 

left me devastated. Like a 

motionless dry leaf. Every 

moment, I scuffled with 

myself and tussled with my 

Creator. 

A thought came to mind: 

instead of wandering in the 

past, why not write it down in 

briefest terms. When the 

entire life can pass away in a 

wink, you wouldn’t want to

describe it in detailed 

chapters. It would be nice if 

you could condense the whole 

story into a short, concise 

book. 

The writing work began. It 

was a challenge. I had to hold 

the iPad to my chest with my 

left hand and press the keys 

with my thumb. This awkward 

posture soon wore me out. My 

neck vertebrae were stiff and

ached, and my body was 

strained and pained. 

Expressing the emotions with 

precision was a painstaking 

exercise and many months 

passed before the task could 

be completed. 

Isn’t life just like that? The 

dust of circumstances, with 

mindful resistance, along with 

unseen forces, 

combined—rendering it

absolutely unique. It’s 

sincerity and determination 

that join in to make it 

magnificent. 

KHAWAR SALIM 

[December 22, 2015]

You’re only here 

for a short visit. 

So be sure to stop and 

smell the flowers. 

WALTER HAGEN 

[1892 - 1969]

Chapter One 

When I 

Wasn’t There

1. A soul eagerly 

awaited an anonymous 

physical being to 

inhabit. Another life 

ready to embark on its 

quest for its origin. 

When I wasn’t there 23

2. It had the promise 

that with someone, 

somewhere, it would 

share a life. And now it 

was time to fulfill the 

commitment. The 

Heavens were ready to 

witness it. 


3. In this mysterious 

world of strange 

happenings, a reason 

was created for me to be 

what I would fatefully 

become. 


4. That soul was bid to 

enter as the primary 

content that made 

conception a living 

reality. 


5. The birth of a baby 

boy occurred just before 

the sun rose on February 

24, 1960. 


Chapter Two 

Gift Of 

Living

6. The reason for the 

gift of my existence 

remains an enigma. As 

a child, I comprehended 

neither its uniqueness 

nor its pricelessness. I 

was too lost in this land 

of magic, going insane 

with curiosity and 

bewilderment. 

Gift Of Living 31

7. It was an awesome 

night when I first saw 

fireflies. So many of 

them. Little bits of 

light. Dancing and 

prancing. Like a starry 

heaven come down to 

say hello. 

Gift Of Living 32

8. Chasing butterflies 

is always great fun. Isn’t 

it strange how these 

fluttering and colorful 

creatures leave their 

hue on your fingertips 

and lasting impressions 

on your memory! 

Gift Of Living 33

9. I saw a shooting star 

vanish before my eyes. 

My mother explained to 

me, “Angels throw flames to 

drive away the devils,” and 

I believed her words. 

Gift Of Living 34

10. When I first saw a 

colorful rainbow, I 

wondered if I could pull 

it down to play with, roll 

it, and put it into my 

schoolbag only to play 

with it again later. 

Gift Of Living 35

11. Take hold of your 

childhood. Let it be the 

force that makes every 

success come your way. 

Gift Of Living 36

12. Little droplets of 

rain, giant trees, and 

orchid-yellow sunrise. 

Everything fascinated 

me when I was a boy. 

The crawling beetles. 

Gift Of Living 37

13. Little candy 

creatures jiggled up and 

down before my eyes. 

The candy man had a 

long multicolored candy 

strip wrapped around a 

thick bamboo. I chewed 

and gulped and couldn’t 

help when it was 

finished so soon. I wish 

I could have saved 

some, but chewing was 

more exciting. 

Gift Of Living 39

14. I was always so 

awfully scared of 

thunderstorms that when 

dark clouds rose on the 

horizon, I would run 

inside and hide behind 

my mom. As each 

thunderclap made her 

jump in awe, my heart 

sank with the fear that 

the lightning might strike 

and turn my toys and 

fancy tidbits into dust. 

Gift Of Living 40

15. I am happy that 

there was no advanced 

technology in my 

childhood. I enjoyed 

every little thing as I 

experienced it. I can still 

feel fluff tickle my fist. 

Gift Of Living 41

Chapter Three 

Diminutive 

Imagination

16. Storybooks and 

their fascinating 

characters were my 

introduction to fantasy. I 

read them over and 

over, watched their 

colored pictures for long 

spells. At times, I still 

believe I am living in a 

fairyland with strange 

characters teasing me. 

Diminutive Imagination 45

17. My little world was 

the colorful canvas of a 

diminutive imagination. 

Paints and pencils were 

my immediate tools. 

Landscape did not 

appeal to me. I drew 

faces and figures. Wish I 

could have sketched 

dreams all my life. 


18. Your imagination 

sets your fate’s 

dynamism. Believe what 

is limitless and beyond 

existence. 


19. There was a shelf 

of some height in my 

wall closet. I would 

climb a chair to reach it 

and stand for hours 

admiring my little 

things. It was my own 

wonderland. These little 

things made me what I 

am today. 


20. I didn’t know how 

to write. But I was lucky 

to be the author of 

many children’s books. I 

conceived their titles 

and designed their 

covers. Even did their 

binding and, in the end, 

did a little content 

writing. Even now, when 

I look at those childish 

creations, I feel 

accomplished. 


21. The charm of a 

dancing toy ballerina 

doing pirouettes to 

the lilting music 

remained on my 

senses for a long time. 

Its rhythm and 

precision. Much later, 

I came to know that 

rhythm is an integral 

part of every 

creation, right from 


that little heartbeat 

in a mother’s womb 

to infinite cosmic 

rotations. 


22. It is a delicacy 

more than a 

novelty–honey that the 

bees produce from the 

nectar of flowers and 

hoard in their hives. 

They don’t have buckets 

in which to carry nectar, 

so they use their mouths 

to suck and carry it to 

the honeycomb. 


23. Once a myna bird 

hit my skull with its 

claws. It had a nest in a 

tree with three little 

fledglings inside. It 

attacked me for fear that 

I might harm them. I 

accepted that all 

mothers ferociously 

guard their babies. 


Chapter Four 

Poverty 

Suffocates 

The Soul

24. Hell yes, poverty 

suffocates your soul and 

stifles your desires. But 

if you fight back, you’ll 

rise above all the 

difficulties and come 

out stronger and wiser. 

Poverty Suffocates The Soul 57

25. Grew up with 

limited resources and 

learned to cope with my 

misery. I was scared of 

uncertainty but it also 

kindled in me the fire of 

motivation. 


26. I could wear 

mended pants and 

tattered shoes but in no 

way did this compare 

with an empty stomach. 

For fear that food may 

be insufficient, it is 

difficult to pull one’s 

hand back before the 

hunger is appeased. 


27. It was an awful 

night. I was hungry and 

exhausted. I kept 

waiting for food and 

finally cried myself to 

sleep. Around midnight, 

someone woke me. I 

smelled the rousing 

aroma of a freshly 

prepared omelet. I 

thought, It must be an 

angel who has brought 

this food. While 


enjoying the tasty 

morsels, I vowed, One 

day, I will help my father 

just like this angel supported 

him this difficult hour. 


28. I learned that I 

would always have to 

earn my share. So I 

started analyzing 

success in terms of 

persistence and 

strong-minded efforts. 


29. When Dad got laid 

off, we were all caught 

in a web of difficulty. 

Feeling helpless, I 

started assisting my 

father after school and 

got the taste of life, 

filled with hardships 

and heartaches. 


30. Whether you are 

unable to buy your 

schoolbooks or are 

expelled because you 

can’t pay your dues, it is 

torturous. I prayed to 

God to pay my fees so I 

could turn out good 

when I grew up. 


31. The more agonies 

the human spirit treks 

through, the lighter it 

becomes. 


32. The most 

reliable financial 

source I had was my 

clay piggy bank. I 

would ask my mother 

to give me some 

coins, so that it 

would always jingle. 

At the same time, I 

learned how to take 

them out of the thin 


slit without breaking 

my bank. Candies 

were my reward. 


Chapter Five 

Live Your 

Dream

33. Rocks and stones 

you can break; courage 

you cannot. Keep 

dreaming and moving 

on to achieve. 

Live Your Dream 71

34. All went well at the 

start of my schooling. I 

topped the ranks until 

class eight. Went 

through my high school 

like a breeze. I passed 

with distinction and got 

admitted to the best 

college in town. Then 

hard times hit me. The 

medium of education at 

the college was English. 

I couldn’t cope with the 

Live Your Dream 72

environment of this 

unfamiliar language. 

The fear of 

embarrassment and 

failure gave me worries 

and depression. I 

couldn’t ask questions 

in the class and this 

gave me, at the age of 

eighteen, ulcers. 

Live Your Dream 73

35. Life is the 

extraordinary dream we 

see with open eyes. 

Sneaking out of a mist, 

only to be lost in 

another. 

Live Your Dream 75

36. Then I divided my 

dreams into big and 

small boxes. Dreams of 

a lifetime, of little 

moments; dreams for 

today and tomorrow; 

dreams expensive and 

affordable. 

Live Your Dream 76

37. Dreams bring 

hope of a bright future. 

Just add hard work 

and brains to complete 

the loop. 

Live Your Dream 77

38. To thread a needle, 

you need the ends neatly 

clipped. An untidy, 

misshapen thread will 

never cross through. 

Even to pass through 

little difficulties, one 

must be well-prepared. 

Live Your Dream 78

39. I tied my dreams 

with strong silk threads. 

I got myself prepared to 

fight simultaneously on 

many fronts. Poverty 

was my toughest foe. 

Live Your Dream 79

40. To the surprise of 

everyone, I became a 

Boy Scout. Participated 

in the national Scouts 

jamboree at Lahore. 

During the final march 

before the closing 

ceremony, I was pulled 

out. My steps weren’t in 

time! I felt like an ass. 

Next day, camouflaged 

by the uproar, I covertly 

joined the lineup. While 

Live Your Dream 80

the marching Scouts 

passed and saluted the 

Prime Minister, I saw 

him closely from the 

front. Can’t recall if my 

steps were ever in time. 

Live Your Dream 81

41. Roused and 

inspired by the Scouts, I 

rounded up my closest 

buddies and formed an 

army. An army of eight, 

since the others were 

not interested. Oh, but 

we were fired up! 

Broken pieces of 

rolled-gold jewelry 

served as medals of 

honor. But who would 

pace us through 

Live Your Dream 82

igorous exercises or 

train us for guerilla 

warfare? We deflated 

like balloons. For a few 

carefree days, our 

school’s ancient tree 

was our base camp. 

Our limbs learned to 

briskly climb its aerial 

roots and reach the 

school’s roof. 

Live Your Dream 83

42. On my shoulders I 

carried a bag of dreams 

as I trod my path in life. 

It wasn’t heavy. Light as 

a balloon. In fact, these 

dreams helped me cover 

the distance at a fast 

and easy pace. 

Live Your Dream 84

43. Edgar Rice 

Burroughs’s Tarzan was 

for years my favorite 

book. I was smitten 

with the charming Jane 

Porter. It’s a blessing I 

kept that secret or I 

would have been found 

hanging upside down 

on a tree with only the 

Mangani apes as 

company. 

Live Your Dream 85

44. In your teens, you 

are dynamic, bold–and 

yes, selfish! My 

American friend Amir, 

then a Pakistani, and I 

were a killer combo. 

One of our more 

innovative ideas was to 

print and sell guess 

papers for intermediate 

exams. We sold them 

for cash at bookshops 

around colleges. The 

Live Your Dream 86

sum reward of this 

exercise was that, 

despite our empty 

pockets, we treated 

ourselves to clothes 

from a designer outlet. 

Live Your Dream 87

45. Some relationships 

are for life! We first met 

at the American 

Cultural Center, where 

we were both learning 

English. We challenged, 

inspired, and provoked 

the best from each other 

and teamed up to work 

many weird or 

improbable ideas. 

Live Your Dream 89

46. One such idea was 

a book we wrote on our 

class embarrassments 

and hilarities. 

Unfortunately, we 

didn’t receive 

permission to distribute 

it. However, the book, 

then discouraged and 

unappreciated, was 

later endorsed by 

Roberta Boies, 

academic adviser, 

Live Your Dream 90

English Language 

Program, PACC. My 

heart aches for the 

youngsters who are not 

bold enough to 

overcome 

disappointments. We in 

Pakistan are shitty 

assholes. As a nation, 

we neither encourage 

nor support. 

Live Your Dream 91

47. Amir Siddiqi wrote 

his story of 

entrepreneurship, “Up 

from Dishwasher to 

Franchise Owner,” 

which was published in 

the Wall Street Journal on 

April 26, 2015. He has 

realized the American 

dream. Worked hard 

and learned to run 

restaurants. Now he 

owns dozens of stores 

Live Your Dream 92

as a franchisee. Hats off 

to him and to the 

people who believe in 

equal opportunity and 

make their fortune in 

foreign lands. 

Live Your Dream 93

Chapter Six 

The 

Secretive 

Art

48. Maybe I was, after 

all, just an unfortunate 

painter sentenced by 

and trapped in the 

confines of my time. I 

learned painting at a 

young age and then gave 

all of my years to 

advertising and, at fifty, 

I finally started to paint. 

Only I could have been 

this ridiculous. 

The Secretive Art 97

49. To me, everything 

in this universe is a 

meticulous expression 

of art. 


50. The fascinating 

anatomy, features, and 

emotions of a human 

make the most complex 

and secretive art of this 

galaxy. I wish I could 

paint them as implicitly 

as a nude. 


51. Divine art and 

complex mathematics 

shroud the deepest core 

of every form. Be it the 

lurking mysteries of 

invisible DNA or the 

perplexing conundrums 

and realities of the 

solar system. 


52. Of all the 

expressions in art, love is 

the most euphoric. 


53. Had I lived 

another life, I would 

have been a true 

painter. Most of us 

carelessly make a few 

strokes on the daily 

canvas, gradually 

moving toward 

completing our 

lives’ mural. 


54. Along the winding 

forest paths grow wild 

shrubs with lovely little 

flowers that move to and 

fro in the zephyr. That is 

art. You stop and smile. 

That is romance. 


55. If you fight back 

and struggle hard, your 

palette shall have 

vibrant colors. If you 

don’t, you’ll see pale 

autumn colors on the 

canvas. 


56. Pretty flowers 

blossoming in the 

wilderness. The intricate 

weaving of a spider’s 

web. The unceasing 

hide-and-seek of the sun 

in the cosmos. What 

would you call this all, if 

not nature’s miracle? 


57. Art and religion are 

one and the same. One is 

the mannerism of souls, 

the other its aesthetics. 


Chapter Seven 

My Treasures 

Are Worth 

Just A Dime

58. I am tempted to 

buy out entire 

bookstores. Storybooks 

were my craze. I wished 

to possess the magic that 

would make me 

disappear. I would be 

invisible, in a timeless 

trance, all the books 

lined up before me. 

My Treasures Are Worth Just A Dime 111

59. I ran up to the 

bookshop at noon 

when everyone was 

napping. Singled out 

a book for the next 

visit, bought the one 

I chose the last time, 

and rushed back 

home before anyone 

awoke. Had to do it 

stealthily because 

some of the money 


I used to buy the book 

should have been 

used for groceries. 


60. Bought hundreds 

of books this way. There 

were so many that I 

opened a lending library 

in the yard to earn a few 

bucks. But when 

returned, the books 

were wrinkled and 

crumpled, not 

crispy-new as I liked to 

keep them. 


61. Books are like 

complete individual 

lives. Read and live 

many. 


62. It was a horrible 

day when the cooking 

fire in our house went 

cold. We were 

horrified. I sold all 

my books to raise 

money. All the money 

I raised was given to 

my mother for food. 

We were all sad and 

silent for many days. 

My father told me 


that I shouldn’t have 

sold my books. I 

replied, “They were 

soiled and wrinkled.” 


63. To live like a lion is 

the highest honor. We 

write our own histories 

every day, the words of 

which cannot be altered. 

To justify each moment 

of our existence with 

military aplomb, that is 

an awesome triumph! 

That essence is typical 

only of a brave heart. 


64. The physical 

absence of those books 

tortured me but the 

stories they carried in 

them, and their richness, 

still remain within. I am 

still prince of those fairy 

tales and rule their 

magical kingdoms. 


Chapter Eight 

The Queen 

Of All 

Sciences: 

Mathematics

65. Back in 1800 

B.C.E., Babylonians 

knew the origin of 

mathematical thoughts, 

perhaps mixed some 

supernatural energy into 

it. So mathematics still 

plays with logic and 

harmony and reaches 

across the cosmos. 

The Queen Of All Sciences: Mathematics 123

66. My uncle 

challenged me to a 

mind-boggling card 

trick which I even now 

challenge anyone to 

figure out. It is not 

sleight of hand. It 

involves calculations, 

logic, or some other 

knowledge. I had no 

clue but, surprisingly, at 

last I solved it. Some of 

life’s successes you 


simply achieve because 

you are blessed and not 

because you deserve 

them. 


67. My college teacher 

was dumbfounded with 

my unbelievable timing. 

He couldn’t resist 

coming over to see my 

father. Just because 

when I went to his 

place to study, I would 

press the doorbell 

exactly as the clock 

struck the hour. 


68. I created a 

computer when I was in 

school, two years before 

Jobs did in 1975. 

It would instantly 

provide answers to 

questions, right on the 

screen. Materials I used 

were wood, paint, 

fluorescent glass, copper, 

hardboard, wires, light 

bulbs, batteries, and 

logic patterns. 


69. Time given to us is 

calculated. I always 

wrote down my chores 

each day, all my life, 

planned every year, 

every minute. I was 

afraid that if I didn’t use 

it wisely, it would 

disappear. 


70. The Creator has 

encrypted all the secrets 

of the universe in a 

digital code, while 

making loveliness an 

essential element. 

Perhaps both our life and 

death are concealed in 

some unseen numbers. 


71. Making electronic 

gadgetry was another 

craze. Preparing circuits 

for a digital lock or a 

photocell security system 

was much more 

complicated than 

making a simple 

transistor radio, which 

I’d done. Listening to 

lilting songs late at night. 


72. Beside the River 

Nile I stood watching 

one of the most ancient 

seats of education, the 

Al-Azhar. A few miles 

away at Giza stood the 

great pyramids. How 

great were the 

archeologists and 

astronomers who raised 

these pyramids that still 

defy modern science! 


Chapter Nine 

First Ever 

Love

73. My kindergarten 

teacher was very 

attractive. With a slim, 

sexy waist, she was my 

first crush. I was only 

five. Obsessed with TV 

anchors too. I was totally 

crazy about my art 

teacher for a long time. 

Then went through a 

hopeless affair with a 

fellow student. But my 

first love was a pretty girl 

in language class. 

First Ever Love 135

74. A look at her and 

my heart jumped into 

my throat. She was so 

beautiful that I felt she 

was right out of a fairy 

tale. She was my pixie 

and her wings glittered 

with magic dust. With 

her, I would fly to 

imaginary heights. 

First Ever Love 136

75. Love is candy for 

the soul but the first love 

was like cotton candy 

that deliciously melted 

on my taste buds and 

was instantly dissolved 

in my soul with a syrupy 

sweetness that I had 

never indulged in 

before. It’s a one-time 

experience. Such was 

the flavor of my first 

true love. 

First Ever Love 137

76. After getting stung 

by my first love, I 

fervently felt how Adam, 

despite being blessed 

with all that was 

wonderful, grumbled to 

the Lord about the 

monotony and 

loneliness. Hey, if Adam 

can be bored with Eden, 

I should have turned 

into a hermit or 

committed suicide. 

First Ever Love 138

77. Oh Delilah! 

First Ever Love 139

Chapter Ten 

Literature 

And Poetry

78. Once, I could 

distinguish writers of 

their time by their style 

of writing. I could even 

enjoy poetry, which 

turned my dusky 

evenings into fiery pink. 

Literature And Poetry 143

79. Poetry is the 

symphony of words 

carved as precisely as a 

sculpture. 


80. Whatever I learned 

from my kindergarten 

year onward gradually 

faded from my memory. 

But those sweet and 

melodious nursery 

rhymes that I recited in 

my early childhood still 

sound sharp and clear. 


81. Those unfamiliar 

with the art of seduction 

should revere the 

wisdom of literature. 


82. Lyrics penned 

enigmatically whisk you 

high as the skies. A 

young woman conceals 

as many beautiful verses 

as the dreams she has in 

her wonderful eyelashes. 


83. The impulse to 

create expressions begins 

with deep thought and 

secretive imagination. 


84. The role of fiction 

in literature is as a 

light flirtation or a 

summer fling. 


85. The language of 

literature grants us a 

universal consciousness. 

It allows us to enjoy the 

company of great 

thinkers and 

philosophers, classic 

writers and poets of days 

gone by, and to closely 

know their thoughts. 


86. I have an old 

icebox. It contains 

hundreds of my verses, 

short stories, and 

articles. All unedited 

first drafts. I still don’t 

know why I have 

concealed them for so 

long. Perhaps not to let 

the embers of my 

emotions flare up. 


Chapter Eleven 

Shhh! 

Joined Art 

School, 

Stealthily.

87. Fine art still has 

that creative honesty 

and virginity that I used 

to enjoy from the 

impromptu splashing of 

colors on paper as a 

kindergartener. 

Shhh! Joined Art School, Stealthily. 155

88. Low grades in high 

school made my interest 

dwindle. And when I 

was refused admission to 

a professional college, 

my father was convinced 

that my future had gone 

dark. I had no idea that 

I was fated to join art. 


89. Borrowed money 

for the fee from a friend 

(may he prosper). 

Secretly got myself 

admitted into art school 

and started learning art 

sitting amidst coy and 

bubbly young girls. 


90. It was like déjà vu. 

Intimate and familiar. 

My spirit danced joyfully. 

Sketching and painting 

day and night, I became 

known to all students 

and teachers alike. I sat 

in senior class and 

worked on sculptures as 

well. Once again, I had 

begun to startle my 

teachers with my work. 


91. My belief in art 

gave me the strength 

and courage to move 

forward. Life drawing 

and modeling were my 

great passions. All 

inspirations flared from 

within and then 

bloomed in a full 

blossom. 


92. I was always short 

of money. Could not 

even afford to hang out 

at the canteen like other 

students. They would 

think of me as a crazy 

guy, too engrossed in art 

to bother with the 

pleasures of life. 


93. Who could know at 

the time that my career 

in advertising was about 

to begin. A career that 

would make my name 

known to the industry. 


94. Art is like the 

sunshine on a rainy day. 


95. To my surprise, I 

got a job offer from one 

of the best advertising 

agencies of the time. 

Getting such a chance 

was improbable even 

after completing art 

school. I accepted. 


96. Spontaneous 

laughter. Life modeling. 

The smell of linseed oil. 

Apart from this, there 

were the shy looks of 

pretty girls, their 

giggles, unfinished 

paintings, so much that 

I had to abandon. I said 

adieu to fine art and did 

not look back. 


Chapter Twelve 

Acute 

Intoxication

97. To live life at its 

fullest, I needed a buzz 

and a high that would 

never end. 

Acute Intoxication 169

98. Ruthless as life had 

become, it was at times 

too painful for a 

sensitive person to bear. 

I wrapped myself in the 

indescribable salve of 

light intoxication. 


99. Joy is but a 

momentary partner but 

sadness and alcohol are 

trusted companions. 


100. That accomplice 

kept me alert at all 

moments: whether being 

busy in creative work, 

creeping into someone’s 

heart through her eyes, 

or facing problems 

head on. 


101. Salt, lime, and 

tequila. A few shots and 

then the world could go 

to hell till the next 

morning. 


102. As soon as the 

demanding beauty 

realized I was an 

occasional drinker, I was 

under an ultimatum. 

After she was gone, I 

kept wondering if trust 

and fidelity were more 

important in love or 

stupid conditions. 


103. I have absolute 

faith that true love 

begins when a mother 

has endured the painful 

experience of childbirth 

and her child gets her 

immense love as it is 

separated from her 

womb through the 

divine miracle of birth. 


104. The unrivaled 

essence of women kept 

me emotionally 

intoxicated all my years. 


105. Living with 

beauty and enjoying its 

presence are what I 

have liked all my life. 

It is all about good 

conversation and great 

wine, although I have 

always abused myself 

with hard liquor. 


106. The lingering 

hypnosis makes me 

more open and 

productive. I then like to 

whisper in pleasure, 

cushioned upon the 

shoulder of my dreams, 

women, or the Heavens. 


107. Extravagant 

labels on spirit bottles 

and their strikingly 

classic or off-beat 

designs lure me as much 

as the blaze of life they 

contain. 


108. I could never 

develop a taste for 

whiskey, but I enjoy it for 

the wittiness it brings out 

in me and for its devilish 

effect on my senses. 


Chapter Thirteen 

Advertising: 

The Utmost 

Fun

109. I don’t know why 

Barry Day, a renowned 

British creative director, 

said, “Advertising is the 

most fun you can have 

with your clothes on.” 

In fact, it stays upon 

your nerves even 

when you have your 

clothes off. 

Advertising: The Utmost Fun 185

110. It was a career 

move that started as a 

joke. At art school, I 

bumped into Arshad Ali 

Khan, a fashion mag 

editor. He wanted to 

have some sketching 

done for a selling 

concept. He was full of 

big ideas and I was 

impressed by his 

concepts. “Eeps! You 

should have been a concept 

writer,” I said. Soon he 


joined the ad world and 

won an award on a 

campaign that he 

conceived. I teased him 

that I was the one to 

help him win the award. 

Once, when I went to 

see him, he asked me 

bluntly if I would like to 

work as a visualizer. 

“But I have never worked at 

an ad agency.” He said, 

“You do just what you 

do at home.” So I left 


art school and joined 

him. We had fun time 

together for many years. 

Later, he migrated to 

Canada, where he 

breathed his last. I 

thought: wasn’t that all 

a game play conceived 

by the Ultimate One. 


111. It was advertising 

that molded me. I 

learned to recognize 

men and things and 

animate and inanimate 

objects with reference to 

their distinctive brands. 

My speech, perception, 

laughter, trickery, as well 

as appearance are all, in 

fact, my branding tools. 


112. Working with 

bold concepts, we turn 

fearless but rational, 

running all aspects of 

our lives objectively, 

expecting to wrap up 

within our bullshit 

deadlines, which are 

always yesterday! 


113. Aloof and 

buttoned-up. That was 

me in the beginning. I 

learned all about 

dressing up and carrying 

myself, along with 

having fun with food, 

fashion, and frolic from 

advertising. Trendy and 

brand-conscious. The 

wondrous art and 

science of advertising. 


114. Designs and 

concepts make me 

hallucinate. 


115. Worked in tandem 

with the biggest clothing 

brand for years. This 

partnership grew into 

friendship with its CEO, 

Hanif Bilwani. Mostly it 

was supermodels and 

stars who led the 

campaigns and so the 

productions too were 

extravagant and ritzy. 

Many TV ads were 

flawlessly choreographed 

on lighthearted jingles. 


116. Whoever you may 

be, success will chase 

and grab you, tracking 

you through alleys and 

over barriers. Only 

condition is, whatever 

you do, should be 

endorsed by your heart. 

The melodious sounds 

of this glory will be 

heard from afar. Zairi 

and Guy are the best 

telecine colorists at the 

Post Bangkok. 


117. These two genies 

always have my back. 

Rehan and his 

charming partner, 

Shahmin. She is 

capable of marvels. 

One is a brilliant 

strength in strategy and 

the second at blowing 

away production 

hazards. They face the 

sun with Jane at a 

freezing Moscow shoot. 


118. Advertising 

functions the same way 

as wives. Spying and 

uselessly prying. 

Demanding and 

frustrating. Sometimes 

tempting, sometimes 

irritating. And almost 

always bullheadedly 

preaching what is less 

important. 


119. It can also be 

likened to an uptown 

babe whose sassy attire 

tempts your unsought 

desires and whose 

curves and angles 

encourage impulse 

buying. 


Chapter Fourteen 

No More 

Rides

120. Cruising on the 

highway of life, we set 

the milestones of our 

aims and ambitions. 

The family’s immediate 

needs made me sell my 

bike again and again. 

Every time I sold it, I 

bought a better one. But 

finally, I thought of 

buying a brand new one. 

No More Rides 205

121. It made me smile 

every time I looked at 

my new bike. But life is 

like a trifle layered with 

sad and happy times. I 

had to sell it once again. 

No More Rides 206

122. I rode to work on 

the bike, sold it during 

lunch break, and 

returned home on 

public transport. 

No More Rides 207

123. You need 

immense energy to 

come out of a 

cockamamie situation. 

I was so distressed that 

I decided not to have a 

motorbike ever again 

in my life. 

No More Rides 208

124. My strength lies 

in setting unrealistic and 

unachievable targets in 

times of distress. And 

that has been the source 

of my emotional 

strength and inspiration. 

As they say, “When the 

going gets tough, the 

tough get going.” 

No More Rides 209

125. I got a new job 

offer that I happily 

accepted and bought a 

car for the first time. My 

morale remained high. 

And I felt blessed as I 

soared upward. 

No More Rides 210

126. Some lucky 

people have an inner 

force that helps them 

move up and forward; 

when they come to the 

edge of the precipice, 

that force makes them 

open their wings and fly 

off to loftier heights. I 

felt like one of them. 

No More Rides 211

Chapter Fifteen 

You Left Me 

Unsheltered, 

Dad!

127. No doubt my 

father was like a beacon 

of light for us. And 

when he fell, we got 

desperate and felt 

doomed. Being the 

eldest, I was the one to 

push away my dreams 

and get busy working 

day and night to earn a 

living. My responsibilities 

were immense and I had 

to focus on them. 

You Left Me Unsheltered, Dad! 215

128. A passionate 

architect he was. He 

didn’t teach me how to 

build dreams. He just let 

me watch him do it. 


129. Once, barefoot 

on a scorching plain, 

I ran madly for help. 

It felt like my heart 

would jump out of my 

rib cage. My lips felt 

parched and I almost 

lost my balance. They 

had come to hurt my 

father and I couldn’t do 

anything. Blood oozed 

from my soul. 


130. He watched over 

us like a father lion 

proudly protecting his 

cubs. 


131. He would ask us 

to take good care of our 

mother after he was 

gone. She would be 

lonely. I often woke up 

to the sounds of her 

sobbing as she prepared 

breakfast. I helplessly 

accepted that the 

wounds upon our souls 

bleed and seep for a 

lifetime. 


132. It was harrowing 

to watch him succumb 

to a painful death. But 

as a few minutes passed, 

I found him with a most 

serene, peaceful 

expression, one that 

hadn’t crossed his face 

in years. I had forgotten 

that particular 

expression as for years 

I had only ever seen 

him weary and 


distressed. The paralysis 

had robbed him and our 

family of many precious 

years. 


133. My heart 

shudders when I 

imagine what a 

perpetually tortured soul 

my father must have 

had. There is no 

reprieve from the pain 

you are destined to feel. 


Chapter Sixteen 

Love And 

Friendship

134. Friends are the 

family that we choose. 

Sincere and fun-loving, 

we frolicked and 

laughed together. Doling 

out dirty jokes, shared 

intimate and maudlin 

moments. Through 

difficult times they 

supported me, never 

leaving me desolate. 

Love And Friendship 227

135. Every time 

I was besieged by a 

calamity, the steadfast, 

ever-present and 

soothing energy of 

friends and beloveds 

made it tolerable. 


136. Sometimes I wish 

that someone had 

looked me in the eye, 

hugged me tight, and 

said, “Hey, things will be 

better soon. Trust me.” 

And I would see the 

reflection of my zeal in 

her big, moist eyes. 


137. A friend who is a 

member of the Magic 

Circle, London, claimed 

that he can create 

illusions that no one else 

had before. Together we 

sat down and designed a 

mind-boggling 

performance. It involved 

three different iconic 

global landmarks. He 

would appear at each of 

them within minutes, 


shake hands with 

celebrities, and face the 

media. He said that he 

could be handed a 

favorite brand at one 

place and appear with it 

at the next. I was 

interested but it involved 

so much that I couldn’t 

handle it. 


138. Many a pretty 

young woman breezed 

through my life, making 

it fragrant at times and 

lighting it up like 

fireworks at others. 

The surge of 

amorousness flooded 

my feelings on and off, 

but I couldn’t return as 

much as I was given. 


139. It is never easy to 

carry love and 

friendship in their true 

forms. They sprout and 

take root only in loyal 

hearts, entering the 

openings of generosity. 

Glorious energies ever 

seek sacred spaces. 


140. Anushey, a young 

American woman, still 

has the greeting card 

that her parents 

presented to their 

friends on their first 

wedding anniversary. 

The card was supposed 

to be signed by her 

while she was still in her 

mama’s womb. She still 

has it in her baby book. 

It has an adorable 


illustration and a 

promise to join them all 

soon. It charmed 

everyone. I designed 

that card for her. 


141. Ah! Scotch, 

roasted nuts, and 

slender knockouts 

clutter my mind day 

after day. 


142. I have found once 

the person my soul still 

loves. 


143. At least once in 

your lifetime, you are 

bound to meet someone 

who knows you inside 

out. You may discuss 

your biggest 

achievements and 

successes and they 

would still know what 

little slips and 

insecurities you are 

trying to hide behind 

your confident words 


and expressions. 

Without being 

judgmental and trying 

only to support you 

irrespective of your 

failings. Never let that 

person, your soul mate, 

leave you. 


144. One rarely 

experiences love in its 

purest form. Some 

essential part of it 

remains hidden in a 

misty fog and only 

slowly and gradually 

reveals itself, mostly 

never. I have seen love 

in many forms and 

manifestations: 

unfamiliar, scared, 

nameless, mercurial, 


fiery, conflicting, arctic, 

abstract, and many 

more. All of them 

sacred and respectful. 


145. Never made my 

own home. Usually work 

till late, stay back at the 

office and sleep there. 

However, I have always 

considered and loved 

two places like my very 

own. Amir’s home in 

L.A. and Anwar’s in 

Berlin. 


Chapter Seventeen 

Astrology: 

A Fortune 

Cookie

146. Every day I 

needed something 

exciting to start my day. I 

would focus, concentrate, 

on my daily horoscope 

forecast, feeling so 

well-organized. When 

there was an indication 

of an amorous or 

romantic nature, all 

the girls in my office 

looked like gorgeous 

Barbie dolls. 

Astrology: A Fortune Cookie 247

147. That small piece 

of paper had the power 

to make me tremble. I 

still have it. It is my birth 

chart that my maternal 

grandfather drew the 

very day after I was 

born. He had precisely 

charted my entire life. 

Even the facts that I 

would never marry, 

would become a 

remarkable artist and 


uild my reputation as 

such, would have a 

romantic nature and 

easily fall for girls, 

would have a good heart 

but a bad tongue. It was 

spelled out exactly in 

those words. 


148. The moon is 

goddess-like. It is the 

ruler of emotions, 

romance, and tides. 

It understands the 

innermost secrets of 

a woman’s soul. The 

turning phases of the 

moon generate an 

element of excitement 

in both our minds and 

bodies. It is also 

responsible for the 


menstrual cycle, 

as well emotional 

upheavals. 


149. Isn’t it strange 

that with their 

ever-changing angles, 

the massive planets 

orbiting the center of 

our solar system, the 

sun, cast such weird and 

wonderful, even divine, 

influences upon every 

individual’s fate, 

characteristics, and 

attributes. 


150. I am a Piscean. 

I cannot understand if 

I travel riding on a fish 

in one mysterious 

direction, in what 

direction the other fish 

would go. Or would the 

two fish just follow each 

other’s tails? 


Chapter Eighteen 

The 

mysterious 

girl

151. She was like a 

rainbow, full of bright 

and shining hues. I had to 

let everybody know how 

colorful my life would be 

with a friend like her well 

before she left. 

The Mysterious Girl 257

152. Her peals of 

laughter still strike a 

musical chord in my 

heart and I can feel her 

long beautiful fingers 

playing on the harp of 

my soul. 


153. Since the day I 

met her, I have felt lost 

among my myriad 

desires. 


154. The mysterious 

girl will never know that 

till this day I have been 

trying to find the bright 

star that carries my 

name. It is for her that I 

have placed lighted 

lamps on the porch of 

my eyes. 


155. When the light of 

love descends on the 

heart, it makes the heart 

glow with a marvelous 

peace, a superb serenity. 


156. The beauty of life 

is that each passing 

moment, even when it 

hurts you, actually 

makes you stronger and 

more sacred. 


157. In this world of 

chance and fortune, 

nothing is absolute. It is 

all relative. A maze of 

instincts and reflexes. At 

that point in time, she 

was my pride as well as 

my heart’s loveliest 

treasure. 


158. Immersed in the 

fragrance of wild 

blossoms, her presence 

surrounds me with the 

first shower of rain. 

The moist wind 

slithers around me like 

a mysterious reptile 

and strikes my soul 

over and over. 


159. Said the old yogi 

sitting under the ancient 

banyan tree of the old 

shrine: “Getting 

obliterated is better than 

coming into existence.” 

Oh, baby, your memory 

seems mighty indelible! 


Chapter Nineteen 

Appreciating 

Being Alone

160. The significance 

of solitude is the luxury 

it offers to connect with 

your innermost being, 

to live with your 

imagination, and to 

unearth the reality 

within you. 

Appreciating Being Alone 269

161. Is self-torture not 

better than hauling an 

alien soul about and 

tormenting them as well? 


162. Lone or 

accompanied. If being 

irate and vexed is part of 

one’s makeup, a man 

remains dispirited even in 

a crowd. 


163. My loneliness 

reverberates with savagery 

and fracas, deaf to the 

sounds of all around. 

Faeries of bedlam barge 

in at midnight, raising an 

uproar till all hours. 


164. Soul guides my 

passion and solitude is my 

beloved. I meet with 

myself and like fireworks 

I spread. Fasten fragment 

to fragment and become 

one. Break up and 

disperse into none. 


165. Participating in a 

ritual just because 

everyone does makes no 

sense. Tackling all facets 

of life with absolute 

honor and heart is also 

one of the many forms of 

worship. 


166. If you want to stay 

happy, learn to be alone 

without being lonely. The 

world has plenty of 

reasons to make you 

unhappy. Woman is one. 


167. Murky waters 

resemble a soiled spirit. 

Polluting and staining all 

it merges with along the 

way. Mature into the 

purest waters of a flowing 

mountain spring. 


168. I have lived my 

entire life in isolation, 

solitary and aloof, even 

from parents and siblings. 

It feels as if a path leads 

from this solitude toward 

a certain starry world, the 

route of which I cannot 

yet comprehend. 


Chapter Twenty 

Achieving 

Honor

169. My headmaster 

appreciated and 

encouraged intelligent 

students. On his 

retirement, he presented 

select students a book 

inscribed with his 

personal remarks. I was 

ecstatic to get The World’s 

100 Greatest People by 

Michael Hart. 

Achieving Honor 281

170. I received quite a 

few awards in creative 

excellence simply on 

distinct thought. 

Achieving Honor 282

171. Whatever I 

achieved began with just 

dreaming and then 

running after it fiercely, 

and it was my Creator, in 

all His Kindness, who 

guided my feet. 

Achieving Honor 283

172. It was no wonder 

people looked up to me 

for the inspiration and 

ideas I sold them, but 

they didn’t know that I 

had started my day with 

the prior evening’s bread 

warmed up for breakfast. 

Achieving Honor 284

173. The biggest honor 

for me was that 

throughout the time my 

mother was alive I 

laughed, talked, and 

showed off, making her so 

happy with me. 

Achieving Honor 285

Chapter Twenty-one 

Hey! You 

Fought Like 

A Soldier

174. When you discover 

death hovering over your 

head and the days of 

your life are numbered, 

each and every moment is 

worse than dying. My 

valiant sister fought 

bravely the cancer that 

had spread to her lungs. 

Hey! You Fought Like A Soldier 289

175. She battled like a 

brave soldier on the 

borderline of life and 

death, and my heart was 

shelled with angst and 

helplessness. Her 

breathing became 

strained and she started 

wheezing and gasping. 


176. We could only pray 

to God to bestow His 

mercy and to make it easy 

for the soul to depart. 


177. The furthest 

boundaries of tolerance 

maim and paralyze your 

psyche. Waves of pain 

slashed across her face. 

She could not utter a 

single word. Writhing in 

pain, she shed silent tears 

of misery. Overcome 

with grief, I could only 

kiss her forehead and 

evade her eyes. 


178. Witnessing a hero’s 

demise is like dying a bit 

yourself. 


179. When I could no 

longer stand the sight, I 

prayed that God give me 

her severe pain when I 

die. “Oh God, relieve her 

of this excruciating pain. 

Amen,” I wept helplessly. 


Chapter Twenty-two 

Alas! 

Little 

Princess 

Gone

180. When a human 

soul whimpers in pain, its 

wail reaches the Heavens. 

As my dying mother 

breathed her last and lay 

unconscious, I could hear 

her moans of pain. I 

couldn’t bear it. My sister 

had passed away earlier. 

She too had suffered from 

cancer. In utter 

desperation, I stood close 

to my mother and begged 

Alas! Little Princess Gone 299

efore God to relieve her 

pain and let her soul fly 

to its resting place. I 

decided to sit by her side 

forever, until she had 

gone into a state of 

complete coma or passed 

from this mortal world. 

I stood by her side in such 

a way that if she opened 

her eyes, she would not 

see me. At dawn, I sensed 

that God had heard me. 


She was now breathing 

effortlessly and 

comfortably. And soon 

after that, she appeared 

to have stopped 

breathing. My prayers 

had been answered. God 

had granted His mercy. 

She had passed away. 

And a part of me died 

with her. In God’s world, 

I was left all alone, 

unprotected. There was 


utter silence all around 

me. Nothing was as 

horrifying as the silence 

she had left behind. 


Chapter Twenty-three 

Someone 

Still 

Mourns

181. I felt like I had 

been living in a cocoon 

and was now let out. I felt 

so exposed. Like I was 

tossed up in the open sky. 

Someone Still Mourns 307

183. My eyes still 

hunger for my guardian 

angel, my forever-beloved 

mother. 


184. Impulsively, in my 

youth, I purchased a 

brown leather oval photo 

frame. And daydreamed, 

picturing my beloved 

looking at me through it. 

She hopped out and the 

frame went blank. For 

years, I thought of 

adorning it with the 

image of someone who 

passionately loved me. 

One fine morning, I 


decided to fill the 

emptiness of this 

memorable frame with 

my mother’s image that 

smiles at me even today. 


185. For a long time, it 

felt as if I had ceased to 

exist. A halo adrift in a 

lonely expanse of sheer 

solitude. 


186. In this life, some 

tag along; others leave. 

My mother was the only 

one who stayed close 

without conditions. She 

was a religious woman, 

while I was a total liberal 

and a nonconformist. I 

usually passed out after a 

few drinks at night and at 

dawn she would wake up 

for prayers and wash the 

glass sparkling clean. She 


was incredibly chaste and 

flawless, while I, her son, 

still hunted the essence of 

the immaculate. 


187. I would babble 

something. Then 

whimper. When my 

loneliness sought me, it 

wouldn’t find me for 

years at a stretch. 


188. Often, sadness 

crept out of my eyes and 

for some time fogged the 

vision of this lovely 

world. 


Chapter Twenty-four 

Eradicate 

The Sanctity

189. Reaching the 

autumn of life, I lost 

control of my 

self-sovereignty. Instead 

of transforming into 

sacred energies, my being 

stank of the garbage of 

my frustration. 

Eradicate The Sanctity 321

190. I was not a 

philanderer or an 

amorist adventurer. 

Merely an escapist. 

Having lost all sense of 

bearing and direction 

for a moment, I was 

running against myself. 


191. This phase of life 

presented experiences 

and riddles that 

completely stumped me. 

Girls frequently sold their 

bodies and affections but 

tenaciously guarded their 

dignity. This to me was 

seriously grand! 


192. Heavily kohled 

eyes, come-hither look, 

seductive curves, and 

desirable wetness could 

never enslave me, but 

even so the beauty that 

had blossomed within 

had begun to decay. 


193. I have always been 

turned on by passionate 

souls. As both friends and 

playmates. 


194. Passing away with 

a chaste soul is an 

expression of love and 

frivolity of the Creator. 


195. Girls who proudly 

claim that boys constantly 

follow them just forget 

that it’s the discount signs 

that attract potential 

shoppers. There is no sale 

on premium brands. 


Chapter Twenty-five 

Acute 

Intoxication

196. First trip abroad 

was to London. I felt as 

if I had seen the whole 

world. Like the village 

kid landing at a major 

city carnival, wide-eyed 

and open-mouthed. 


197. Traveling triggers 

endless opportunities 

that astound your mind. 

You get all blown up. 

People, places, food, 

dances, everything was 

so adventurous and 

fascinating. 


198. I drew on my 

courage and had my 

hair styled in thin, neat 

dreadlocks. The result 

was staggering. At the 

club that night, I had 

favored attention from 

the bouncers to the 

pretty barmaid. The 

highlight of the evening 

was a black Moroccan 

dancer setting the floor 

ablaze with her erotic 


moves. I stared, 

captivated. Was stunned 

to note she returned my 

interest and spent half 

the night flirting away. 

Boudoir Nightclub, Dubai 


199. When we got off 

the bus, darkness had 

descended. We rested by 

the roadside for a while. 

We were startled to see a 

bevy of sexy hot girls 

chattering and giggling. 

They came from 

everywhere and headed 

for an empty phone 

booth or the space 

between the parked cars, 

where they changed into 


provocative get-ups. 

Cars came and picked 

them up in a jiffy. It 

must have been a 

changing spot for 

coquettes who wanted to 

earn a fast buck 

moonlighting after their 

jobs. 

Hotel Ibis, Pont De Suresnes, 

Paris 


200. Witnessed 

probably the world’s 

most beautiful couple 

here. In their eighties, 

formally dressed, utterly 

devoted. He would 

accompany his wife 

every time and with 

great faith to the Casa 

Colina Rehabilitation 

Center, treating her like 

fragile china. His 

beautiful madonna 


could not see, but her 

face glowed with an 

inner light. Maybe with 

the belief that she was 

unconditionally loved. 

Touched, and with 

reverence, I wanted to 

kiss his forehead, whose 

every pore oozed 

adoration for his wife. 

Pomona, Los Angeles, California 


201. Both bizarre and 

extremely rare! After 

many misgivings, tasted 

the inconceivable during 

my walk at the Covent 

Gardens. A masked, 

exotically costumed 

Baby Gaga waitress 

served breast-milk 

cocktails in martini 

glasses. The recipe 

blends breast milk with 

Madagascan vanilla 


pods and lemon zest, 

which is then freshly 

churned into ice cream. 

Freaky, huh? 

Covent Garden, London 


202. The king of 

Christmas markets. 

Schloss Charlottenburg 

is like one of those fairy 

tales that look absolutely 

divine, especially after 

dark. Luckily, I was 

there to enjoy this 

cheerful festivity. 

Appetizing smells of 

roasted sausages and 

gingerbread, the odd 

glass of mulled wine; 


their giddy tastes still 

tease my taste buds as I 

travel down memory 

lane. 

Schloss Charlottenburg 

Christmas Market, Berlin 


203. Roaming the 

streets of downtown 

Milan was fascinating. 

This fashion and design 

capital drew me like a 

siren while my empty 

pockets sneered at my 

ambitious longings. 

Once, on ordering a 

scotch at a roadside bar, 

the head waitress 

mistakenly filled the 

glass up to the brim. She 


was smiling all the while. 

That was like winning a 

double lottery! 

La Postale, Milano 


204. Three memories 

tickle me as I look back 

to my Oslo trip. The 

network of road tunnels; 

the end of Earth, 

Verdens Ende, located 

at Oslo’s southernmost 

tip; and the strip-pole 

dancer with incredible 

aerobatic métier. 

Hemsedal, Oslo 


205. Often the 

backdrop for 

mythological fables, 

Prague, with its gothic 

architecture, classic 

taverns, and rich 

fairy-tale history, is truly 

majestic. A medieval 

astronomical clock 

adorns the southern wall 

of the old-town city 

hall. Historic pubs, 

mostly in cellars, make 


for an out-of-time 

experience. Since 

stepping on Earth, it’s 

fascinating how humans 

have developed great 

capability for creating 

exceptional magic. 

Grand Hotel Europa, Prague 


206. Wealthy 

celebrities and tycoons 

from around the world 

holiday at Puerto Banus. 

Famous cars and yachts 

with outlandish names 

queued up at the harbor 

can be seen from afar. 

Answering my musings, 

the statue of the 

mermaid at the 

promenade shared her 

wisdom of real success, 


which comes only from 

diving the depths and not 

from keeping to shallow 

waters. 

Puerto Banus, Marbella 


207. The Tomb of the 

Unknown Soldier is a 

war memorial dedicated 

to the Soviet soldiers 

killed during World War 

II. In front of the 

monument, the eternal 

flame burns to honor 

the soldiers who 

sacrificed their lives for 

their nation. We 

stopped there for some 

time when returning 


from a shoot. I thought, 

One who does not 

remember his hero can 

never take pride in his 

own existence. 

Kremlin Wall, Moscow 


208. It was a strange, 

cold night in Istanbul. 

Upon leaving, after a 

late dinner at a Taksim 

Hotel, I halted at the 

sight of a group of black 

street performers 

dancing to an uplifting 

beat. Unintentionally I 

banded with them and 

danced, revved. I lost all 

inhibition. My spirit 

impatiently awaits 


eveling again in the 

same glorious freedom, 

lost but whole. 

Taksim Bazar, Istanbul 


209. Think of 

Bangkok, think of foot 

massage. The ladyboy 

phenomenon is very 

well accepted these days 

and the “girls” can be 

strikingly beautiful. If 

you are curious, you 

should visit Obsession 

Go Go Bar at least once. 

Rembrandt Hotel, Bangkok 


Chapter Twenty-six 

Searching 

My Mark, 

The 

Original 

Destiny

210. I was spinning in 

circles. From the dark 

orbit of the stars, I 

needed my destiny to 

emerge and face the sun. 

Searching My Mark, The Original Destiny 371

211. A long time back, I 

had seen the sculpture of 

an ancient Roman 

emperor. It was 

stone-carved, gray like 

loam; a gold crown rested 

upon his head. For 

thousands of years, he 

had been looking majestic 

and magnificent. I had to 

look exactly like that and 

am still in search of my 

golden crown. 


212. Now, in the 

autumn of my life, I still 

think that a glorious 

new morning will, with 

its beautiful yellow 

sparkle, dawn upon me. 


213. Had I done 

nothing but sat 

meditating, I would at 

least have come across 

some clue of my 

existence. 


214. We have inherited 

the desire to bolt away 

from our own selves. We 

inherit our enslavement 

to earthy pleasures. 

Nature indicates that 

every path leads to the 

deity; it’s the singular 

truth. The soul bargains 

for a little more time. 


215. I am certain that 

it is not how you start 

out but sticking to your 

path that is most 

important. You have to 

steer the raw distress on 

a course through which 

it may be pacified. 


Chapter Twenty-seven 

Crave To 

Paint

216. All my life, the 

urge to paint clung to 

my soul in the form of 

guilt. 

Crave To Paint 381

217. I have come to 

hate advertising, which 

has been like a paranoid 

girlfriend. Too 

demanding, clutching, 

clinging. The bitch 

blackmailed me for an 

entire life, as if I am the 

father of her illegitimate 

child. 

Crave To Paint 382

218. Remaining single 

gave me room to work 

for longer hours. But 

what hounded me was 

where to summon the 

freedom and endless 

time for that. 

Crave To Paint 383

219. Painting pushes 

you to a state of sensual 

delirium. Once started, 

I could not command 

myself to stop. It 

enveloped me in a 

trance-like condition 

and I felt lost in a maze 

of lustful desire. 

Crave To Paint 385

220. Day has a longer 

stretch than night, when 

I painted instead of 

sleeping. I continued 

with this until I could no 

longer do it. 

Crave To Paint 386

221. Stopped painting, 

resolved to begin again 

after retiring from the 

blood-sucking obsession 

of advertising. Little did 

I know that I was to lose 

my masterful hand to 

the lingering paralysis. 

Crave To Paint 387

Chapter Twenty-eight 

Oh. 

Charming 

Lady

222. Have you not 

been with me every 

moment, every day? 

From the inner silence of 

my soul to the utterances 

of my existence. In my 

calmness, serenity, and 

even naughtiness. Have 

I not lived breathing in 

the enchanting scent of 

your sensual body? Or 

was this, after all, just 

my imagination, honey? 

Oh. Charming Lady 391

223. That pretty 

enchantress flitted into 

my life like a colorful 

butterfly and flew away, 

leaving in her wake 

fragrant memories, like 

a handful of blossoms 

fallen from her veil. 


224. She was like a 

blissful downpour that 

showers upon you in a 

hot desert and cools you 

down like a song of 

happiness. 


225. Love can be 

likened to the cool 

shelter of a deep forest, 

fragility of flowers, 

sweetness of ambrosia, 

and the naughty 

euphoria after enjoying 

vintage wine. 


226. Her delicate 

features, intriguing 

ways, and heady beauty 

were an easy escape 

from the tedium of life. 


227. When sad, she 

would persistently cry 

upon your shoulder and 

drench it. When happy, 

she would titter and 

giggle like a cheerful 

cuckoo. It is women who 

fill you with beauty and 

make life worth living. 


228. Delectable 

chocolates and a 

bouquet of red flowers 

made her eyes light up. 

She adored life. She was 

just like me. 


Chapter Twenty-nine 

The 

Calamity 

That Broke 

Me Into 

Half

229. And once again, 

the dark skies flashed 

with bolts of lightning 

and thunder clapped. 

This time around, there 

was no one behind 

whom I could hide. 

Catastrophe hit me and 

I fell over, paralyzed. In 

seconds, my right side 

was dead. 

The Calamity That Broke Me Into Half 401

230. I was in complete 

shock. Lying in bed, 

staring at my numb 

body in petrified awe. 

My once dream-filled 

eyes now frozen with 

racing episodes of active 

past times. 


231. My philosophy 

and the finesse I had 

fussily guarded were 

shot to bits. I began to 

ponder if death would 

have been a better 

option. 


232. I wanted to get a 

shower myself, comb my 

own hair, clip my nails, 

and dress myself in the 

good clothes from my 

closet. I wanted to feel 

the pleasure of eating 

with my own two hands. 

To greet and shake 

hands like other people. 

All this left me feeling 

incomplete. 


233. I cannot even go 

decently insane. 


234. Had always 

worked with my own 

hands. My self-respect 

wrestled with my limbs, 

ashamed. 


235. Life now shoved 

and battered me at 

every opportunity and I 

hung on, struggling to 

hold onto it with all my 

might. 


236. My hand, which 

once deftly played with 

brushes and pencils, was 

now learning to 

familiarize and hold 

onto things once again. 

This was a very hard 

time for my faith. 


237. It has taken every 

ounce of strength that I 

could muster, every 

token of faith, reasoning, 

or hope. Just to survive! 


Chapter Thirty 

Collecting 

Millions Of 

Pieces

238. Gathering the 

scattered fragments of 

myself. 

Collecting Millions Of Pieces 413

239. Divine awareness 

and the distant 

boundaries of 

foreknowledge deliver 

us from the fear and 

panic of death. 


240. I am certain that 

in the exchange of joy 

and happiness, the trade 

of your hearts is more 

valuable than the 

dealing with your hands. 


241. Allah, in his book, 

swears by the steeds that 

gallop, panting and 

hooves that strike sparks 

of fire on the Earth’s 

belly, penetrating into 

the midst of foe. Indeed, 

when our Lord arms us 

against all perils, why 

should I not hold faith in 

him and face the 

hardships of my life with 

courage. 

[Quran, Surah Al-Adiyat: Verse 1-2] 


242. This may be 

tough, but then when 

was life anything but 

strenuous and uphill? 


243. Sometimes the 

heart implores, Take a 

deep swig of the potent 

Nirvana; savor the oomph; 

let the ecstasy seep into your 

consciousness. Feel the agony 

of body and soul shatter and 

then fuse as one. 


244. The incredible 

salmon spend most of 

their adult life alone in 

the ocean. Then they 

swim upstream to spawn 

in the same place where 

they were originally 

hatched–and die. If you 

are like the salmon, you 

too can bravely swim 

against the flow of life’s 

miseries in order to 

return to where you 

originated. 


245. Pathways to life, a 

mere reflection of divine 

aspirations... intentions 

carving deep valleys and 

peaks of existence 

cherishable at times, 

hard at others, so real 

and subtle in the heat of 

moment! Oh life, you 

are adorable! 


246. Indeed, those we 

cherish live and remain 

within. Every soul 

houses more. 


247. Draw love and 

trust from life. What 

remains is but a handful 

of dust. 


Chapter Thirty-one 

Time To 

Begin Again

248. There is great 

silence after a hurricane 

has passed over you; 

then you collect your 

leftover energies and 

begin once again. This 

is the endless splendor 

of life. 

Time To Begin Again 427

249. Even in the 

darkest hours, I have 

always kept a little hope 

flipping inside. 


250. Life is another 

name for chivalry and 

courage. A remarkable 

feeling that toils to 

blossom. 


251. Ready or not, the 

winds of change are 

blowing, just like eclipses 

bring the unexpected, 

forcing us into action. 

Sometimes we are 

confronted by an obscure 

reality to push us into 

our disoriented state. 


252. Some bliss and 

some grief, some humor 

and some devilry. Here I 

sit, surrounded by piles 

of memories, feeling like 

a solitary reaper, cutting 

the harvest of the 

briefest biography of 

myself. It may one day 

be in your hands. But I 

wish to live many more 

years, for life is truly 

astounding! 


253. One day I see 

myself fly, dancing with 

my sweetheart, encircled 

by angels in the sky. 


254. A little hope can 

create maddening 

ecstasy in dreadful 

silence. 


255. The springtime 

lingered all the year 

round in anticipation of 

your return. 


256. If the plain light 

of awareness inside me 

could not expand to the 

dimensions of a 

subliminal universal 

radiance, it would seem 

that the infinite journey 

of life has gone 

completely to waste. 


257. The lure of life 

with all its charms, 

despite my desire, bars 

me from obliterating my 

selfdom. 


Chapter Thirty-two 

Way 

Through 

The Mystical 

Enigma

258. The journey that 

began with the oneness 

of seed and spirit inside 

the mother’s womb is 

fast coming to an end. 

As our faith summits, we 

behold a new beginning 

whose preparations are 

under way. 

Way Through The Mystical Enigma 441

259. Nothing will 

remain but a soul with 

certain indelible 

impressions. Unique and 

singular like the Creator. 

The One who is All 

Alone and Limitless. 


260. If all human 

consciousness were 

comingled, it would not 

be able to perceive what 

He has not yet revealed. 


261. Tiny birds called 

blackpoll warblers fly 

without landing for 

three whole days. This is 

the world’s longest 

migration across the 

Atlantic every fall. How 

could the unbelievable 

journey of this 

twelve-gram 

awe-inspiring bird be 

encompassed by our 

intelligence? 


262. I am a creature 

of light and vision and 

spiritual belongings. 


263. Tantalizingly 

mercurial life displays its 

secretive mystery and 

then disappears. Sacred 

life. Out to express its 

dynamism. The thrust 

for lust. 


264. Why does it seem 

as if what has just 

passed is actually about 

to begin? 


265. What is about to 

be eliminated is the 

divine truth, and what is 

in the making is an 

omen of its inexistence. 


266. Scientists have 

found, to their 

amazement, that an 

electron knows when it 

is being watched. It 

changes its pattern of 

movement, as 

discovered by CERN 

physicists. I wondered: 

How could the 

subatomic particle sense 

that it is being watched? 

Crazy! Hunh! Scary too! 


The thought is enough 

to make one stop 

breathing. Oh God! 

This verse of the Quran 

floats before my eyes: 

“And He has made 

subservient to you 

whatsoever is in the 

heavens . . .” 

* At CERN, physicists did the 

double-slit experiment using some of 

the world’s most powerful particle 

accelerators. 


267. When there is 

nothing, there is One. 


268. Dusty gold 

twilight of the dying day 

settles on the horizon, 

soon to be lost in the 

dusk. The permafrost of 

winter is here. My life is 

about to come to a 

standstill. The splendor 

of existence is to morph 

into still life. 


“There is a winter 

above my head, but 

an eternal spring 

within my heart.” 

VICTOR HUGO 

[1802 - 1885]

All those who love me assure that soon I will 

recover fully and may even become more fit 

than ever before. Even my spiritual mentor 

prays for that. And I trust their words. It is 

this trust that drives me on.

Cole Gustafson 

VP and Lead Consultant at Kevin Anderson & Associates 

Stylistically unique, and quite compelling, it 

gives the feeling of hearing a good story from 

an old friend. It’s truly distinct, and verges, at 

times, on the poetic. 

Sarmad Ali 

Managing Director at Jang Media Group 

I expected an autobiography but it was so much 

more. He inspires me to keep on dreaming! 

Jamal Mir 

Managing Director at Prestige Grey Group 

Full of depth and insights, Khawar recalls his 

experiences of love, grief, denials and hope but 

most importantly the survival of a strong 

individual. The lessons that are relevant to 

anyone’s life. A good read. 

World’s 

Shortest 

Autobiography by 

KHAWAR 

SALIM 

268 

Expressions 

of my life 

Love and 

Mystery 

Uphill and 

Hopes 

Love and Mystery 

Uphill and Hopes 

World’s Shortest Autobiography by 

KHAWAR SALIM

auto biography

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?