2017 HOLIDAY

Double the Gifts
Double the Giving
by Patricia
Edminster, Ph.D.
How to handle their
hectic holiday wish lists
As the holidays approach, many parents of
multiples begin to agonize over gift giving
options.
• Do I have to give each child the same thing?
• Do I have to spend the same amount of
money on each child?
• Does each child need to receive the same
number of gifts?
• Do I give them things they want or things
they need? What if only one of my children
needs certain things---will the other one(s)
feel unfairly treated?
• What should I tell relatives and friends to
do?
Actually, these questions aren’t very different
from the same ones asked by parents who have
children of differing ages. Although most parents
try to be as fair as possible, in the process they
sometimes lose sight of what gift-giving is all
about—showing other people that they are cared
about by demonstrating sensitivity to their wants
and needs.
The first step, then, in choosing gifts for children
is to determine, with input from them, what they
want and need.
Parents might start by trying to see each of
their children’s desires from their respective perspectives.
Why does each of my children want a
particular item? Is it because a friend or co-twin
has or wants one? Or has the desire been created
through media hype, something that happens a lot
around holiday time?
Then parents are advised to evaluate the desired
item from their own perspectives, starting by
looking at its health and safety factors and moving
on to its appropriateness for their child’s developmental
level. To determine appropriateness, the
parent should ask:
1. Is my child ready (in terms of her cognitive
and motor abilities) to use this gift appropriately?
2. Is this item something that will stimulate her
creativity and imagination, or does it serve
only one function, which will bore her after
a short period of time?
Holiday 2017 37