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By Jennifer McCaman • illustration by Angela Martini
Extreme Mod esty Makeover
Hairnets and Stockings
She greets you every day with a
cheesy grin and a hearty scoop of
green beans. She’s the lunch lady,
and we love her. But think for a
moment about her, well, outfit.
Picture the hair net, shapeless
dress, apron that falls just above
her gray stockings, and black,
flat shoes.
What words would you use to
describe this fashion style? Odds are
“sexy,” “hot,” and “cute” didn’t make the list.
As Christian girls, we’ve heard the word
“modesty” preached at us until it starts to
conjure up a cafeteria lady in our minds. For
most of us, “modesty” is a list of things we’re
not allowed to wear, including the scandalous
spaghetti-strap shirts, two-piece bathing
suits, and sweatpants with “hottie” printed
across the seat. Admit it: modesty often
seems like your less-than-fashionable
mom’s main weapon in her plot to
take away everything cute in your
wardrobe.
Actually this concept of modesty
is far from the truth. Modesty goes
beyond clothes to the core of who
we are. The world teaches us that
our waist, bust size, and flirty
personality give us value as
females. Psalm 139:13-15 speaks
another message:
For it was You who created
my inward parts; You knit
me together in my mother’s
womb. I will praise You,
because I have been
remarkably and wonderfully
made. Your
works are wonderful,
and I
know this very
well. My bones
were not hidden
from You when I was
made in secret, when I was
formed in the depths of the earth.
We have value because
we belong to God.
God made us exactly
as He wanted, and He
loves us.
First Corinthians
6:20b (The Message)
says, “ . . . let
people see God in and
through your body.”
Like this verse says,
modesty is letting
people see God in and
through your body.
Modesty does not
mean joining a convent
or never wearing
makeup. Instead, it’s
Modesty Test
As girls, clothes are
woven into our DNA.
From shoes and
purses to tops and
jeans—every choice is
deliberate. Even girls
who “don’t care”
about their clothes
intentionally don’t
care, meaning they
intentionally select
quirky T-shirts,
shoelaces, and
jeans to pull off the
“I-don’t-care” look.
As lovers of fashion,
how can we tell if our
choices honor God?
dressing and acting in a way that honors Christ.
Modesty can be defined as “freedom from
vanity.” 1 We all know people at school who are
obsessed with flaunting their image. Modesty
is freedom from the pressure to conform to
the world’s standard of beauty. Along with the
cafeteria-lady lie, the world spews other false
information about modesty.
Myth Modesty is restricting.
Truth Modesty is freedom.
Google certain girl celebrities, and you’ll see a
slew of photos that would probably embarrass
their moms. Hollywood teaches that fashion is
freedom. They argue that a truly independent,
uninhibited girl isn’t afraid to show what she
has. The media equates sexiness with selfexpression.
In reality, freedom is only found in Christ.
When you honor God with your life, you
understand freedom at a level the world can’t
imagine. This freedom empowers you to
become the woman God made you to be.
The world’s idea of beauty is imprisoning.
Many girls become depressed, anorexic, cutters,
or at the least, insecure with the way they
look. Talk about prison.
Modesty in Christ gives freedom. You are
free to feel good about who God made you to
be. You don’t have to draw attention to your
body or throw yourself at a guy. You never have
to worry about embarrassing pictures popping
up on Myspace. Sure, you can still dress cute,
wear make-up, and fix your hair, but your
worth is not found in your appearance or your
wardrobe. That is freedom.
Myth Modesty is insecure.
Truth Modesty is confidence.
More than clothes, modesty is an attitude.
The world teaches girls that confidence is
found in looking sexy. Actually, true security
is learning to see yourself the way God sees
you. Psalm 45:11 says “the king will desire
your beauty.” Psalm 139:13 teaches us that God
knit us together in our mother’s womb. We
are beautiful because we are made by God.
We don’t have to draw attention to our bodies
by wearing revealing clothing or flirting
provocatively. Running after the world’s idea of
beauty only leaves us empty and insecure.
Myth Modesty is boring.
Truth Modesty is mystery.
Perhaps the most powerful word to describe
spiritual modesty is “mystery.” Modesty is
keeping yourself mysterious to guys and to the
world. Instead of flaunting your body, wear
cute clothes, but cover up. Instead of throwing
yourself at a guy by calling, texting, and flirting
all the time, hold back. Be mysterious. Let God
cultivate an inner beauty that is captivating to
the guy he wants to bring your way. Don’t get me
wrong. Modesty doesn’t mean being quiet or shy
necessarily. It’s great to have a bubbly, passionate
personality if that’s who God’s made you to be.
Just don’t let a desire for attention cause you to
make bad decisions. If
Mini-checklist
Does this outfit
reflect who I am in
Christ?
Can I move
around in this outfit
(standing, sitting,
leaning, bending
over) without
anything showing?
Will guys respect
me wearing this?
a guy isn’t interested
in you, let him walk
away. If the loud, less
clothed girl in your
class seems to attract
all the guys, don’t
worry. You will never
regret your choice to
pursue modesty and
mystery.
Myth Guys only like sexy outfits and
flirty girls.
Truth Guys long for a girl who doesn’t
make them struggle.
Generally, guys are visual creatures who are
easily tempted to lust. Your choice to pursue
modesty hugely impacts their purity. You seriously
have the power to help your guy friends
pursue Christ. Simply by wearing a shirt
that’s not low-cut under a plunging neckline,
you help guys keep their thoughts pure. Also
by intentionally not sitting in a guy’s lap and
avoiding sexually flirtatious contact, you help
them grow in Christ. Sure it’s difficult. Many
girls think guys should just control themselves,
but it’s just not that easy. As girls, we
connect emotionally. Guys connect physically.
Help your guy friends—and all guys—stay
pure when they’re around you. By honoring
God with your body, you also respect the guys
around you. It might seem like guys don’t
notice your effort, but (trust me) they do, and
more importantly, so does God.
Myth Modesty is easy.
Truth Modesty is sacrifice.
Pursuing Christ-centered modesty is totally
rewarding, but it is also a sacrifice. As you set
higher standards for your wardrobe, you’ll
have fewer choices at stores. You might have to
go to two or three stores to find a bathing suit
that doesn’t show everything. Maybe you’ll
completely ignore a style many of your friends
wear because it doesn’t reflect who you are in
Christ. Modesty also means that certain guys
are totally off limits. (You don’t really want
these guys anyway.)
Don’t be discouraged. Your choice to honor
God with your body will always be worth it.
Modesty doesn’t just happen. You have to
choose to go against the world and be different.
Intentionally decide to dress and act in
a way that glorifies God. Don’t let anything
come between you and your commitment. ec
1. “modesty,” Dictionary.com [online], cited 6 February
2009. Available from the Internet: http://dictionary.
reference.com/browse/modesty.
Warning:
Confronting
Immodesty
Girls who do not
have Christ have no
reason to dress like
Christians. We have
a different standard.
Do not freak out
over their clothes
until you freak out
over their lives.
Your first goal is to
lead them to Christ,
not to dress them
up like a Christian.
Many non-Christian
girls think Christians
judge them and
look down on them
because of how they
dress and act. Choose
to show these girls
kindness and love,
without conforming
to their choices.
As Christ changes
their hearts, He’ll
eventually change
their wardrobe and
attitudes.
Check out
ecmagazine.blogspot.com
this month for some
modesty quizzes just
for the girls!
56 | jul 2009 ec magazine ec magazine jul 2009 | 57