demo

Modesty: Not just a girl thing!
By Will Snipes • illustration by Angela Martini
Let’s be honest for a minute—the truth is
that writers often draw a blank when beginning
an assignment. Most of you have probably
experienced this firsthand when given a
writing task by an English teacher. Where do
I begin? What will I say? What will be my main
points?
It was no different for me with this task.
So I did what many of you would do—I did an
Internet search for the word modesty.
I found a good definition: moderation in
speech, dress, or behavior. The word itself
is linked to the Latin word modestus, which
means “keeping within measure.” I read about
styles of dress throughout history and how
they have changed.
I even discovered cultural information about
appropriate behaviors, such as the fact that
the Australian Aborigines appear indifferent to
nakedness, but are deeply embarrassed if they
are seen eating. Although I was beginning to get
some ideas, I still didn’t have the focus I needed
to write this article. How do I explain to teenage
guys why modesty is important? Because, really,
we only ever talk about that in the context of
what some girl is wearing, right?
I found my inspiration buried deep on an
informational Internet page, under a heading
titled “Antonyms.” There was the one word
that was all I needed to get the ball rolling.
So guess what’s an antonym for modesty.
Pride.
Pride is all about focusing attention on
ourselves. It’s about saying: “Hey everybody—
look at me!” It’s about being the loudest, the
funniest, the strongest, the craziest, the most
watched person in the room.
When you think about it, there really is
a reason people use that phrase “proud as
a peacock.” Pride can be compared to the
male peacock’s behavior. He displays his brilliant
plumage in order to gain attention from
females. Loud, funny, crazy, and trying to
gain the attention of girls . . . does that sound
like some of the guys you know? Maybe—just
maybe—does it sound a little like you?
Modesty is all about self-control. It’s about
not drawing attention to ourselves, but rather
letting our lives direct all glory to God. It’s
about offering our bodies—our very lives—
as living sacrifices that point others to the
redemptive work of Christ in our hearts (Rom.
12:1).
Girls often struggle with modesty in terms
of how they present themselves to the world.
They use their style of dress and the body
God has blessed them with to gain attention.
Because we are wired differently from girls,
modesty for guys takes a different slant, but it
is still an important component in the overall
makeup of who we are in Christ.
Guys, ask yourself these questions as you
begin to examine the level of modesty in your
own life:
• Do you tend to brag about your accomplishments
in areas like athletics or
achievements?
• Do you play the “one-up” game, where
you always have to make yourself look a
little better than others?
• Do you tell inappropriate jokes or use
inappropriate language to gain attention
or laughs?
• Have you taken a picture of your
muscles and displayed it for all the world
to see on Myspace or Facebook ® ? We
all know you’ve been hitting the weight
room, but is that really necessary? Is God
glorified in those pictures?
• Are you searching for any opportunity
to draw peoples’ attention to you, your
physique, or your accomplishments?
Why are you parading around like that
peacock?
As you honestly search your heart for
answers to these questions, maybe God is
showing you that your life is not displaying
much modestus, as our ancient Latin friends
termed it. Maybe you’re not keeping things
“within measure.” Maybe you’re proudly soaking
up the attention of the world while leaving
the glorifying of God out of the picture.
Consider the words of the psalmist: Search
me, God, and know my heart; test me and know
my concerns. See if there is any offensive way in
me; lead me in the everlasting way (Ps. 139:23-
24).
Let’s make it clear that there’s nothing
inherently wrong with being concerned about
your appearance or taking some pride in your
accomplishments. It’s all about things being
done within measure. And about God receiving
glory in the end.
Oh, and one last thing from my Internet
search? Recent scientific research has shown
that it’s not the bright tail feathers of the male
peacock that draw the most attention from
the females. Instead, it’s his vocalization—his
words, so to speak. Although the parallel may
not be direct, perhaps the best way to gain
some positive attention in this world might
be through the kindness, gentleness, and sensitivity
of your words, through encouragement
and exhortation of others rather than showing
off. Maybe focusing more on God and less on
yourself is truly attractive to the world.
And that’s a definition of modesty that I can
take to heart. ec
Modesty for
guys?
Modesty is a big
deal, right? For girls
that is.
At least that’s the
idea all our Christian
talk about what girls
should and shouldn’t
wear seems to say.
But modesty is about
more than clothes!
It’s a way of life. It’s
part of pursuing
purity. We’ve boiled
modesty down to
what we can and
can’t wear, then
made it all about
girls. It’s more than
that.
Scripture commands
you to pursue a life of
purity. Check out
1 Timothy 4:12;
2 Timothy 2:22; and
1 Peter 1:15-16; 2:9.
Your lives—every
part of them—are
supposed to be
characterized by the
pursuit of holiness,
purity, humility, and,
yes, modesty.
That should affect
every part of your
life, from what you
wear to what you
say, where you go,
and who you think
is most important in
your life.
And when you truly
understand modesty,
humility, and
holiness, the most
important person
in your life won’t be
you.
58 | jul 2009 ec magazine ec magazine jul 2009 | 59