Valkyrie Winter 2018 - Issue 2

Operation:
Breakup
Unorthodox Ways to Get Through A Breakup
Have you recently had your heartbroken by
your high school sweetheart, or been left
in the dust by your freshman year flame?
Are you spending your Friday nights relentlessly
checking your ex’s social media to see if they’re
missing you or on to better things? Pew Research
Center says that only about 15 percent of high school
relationships will last throughout college, which
means that the other 85 percent of us have or will
experience a heartbreak at least during the first year
of college. These breakups can leave us feeling more
broken than we should, since many college students
are away from their families and are still working on
solid friendships. This means that breakups in college
are harder than any other breakups, and while eating
Exercise! Not only does it make
you feel good, but you will look
good too! Exercise is a great
distraction and releases a hormone
in your brain called endorphins,
which make you feel happy. It can
also give you a routine to follow
and makes you less likely to stay
in your bed all day overthinking
all of your emotions. And truly,
the best revenge is looking better
than your ex.
Story by: Kristin Demorest, Funk Editor | Design by: Sara Arms, Editor-in-Chief
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chocolates in your bed might sound like a perfect
cure, it just may not cut it.
College students are already at a high risk for
things like depression and anxiety disorders, and
an unexpected breakup can definitely be a gateway
to them. It’s easy to become isolated while learning
the ropes of being on your own, and these disorders
can be a real danger to an already exhausted college
student. So how can you avoid isolation and emotional
despair while in college when you’re going through a
breakup? We’ve come up with a few unorthodox ways
to get you through the hard times, all of which can
be paired with a date with your favorite flavor of Ben
and Jerry’s ice cream.
Volunteer! Volunteering somewhere
locally can get you plugged in to your
community and gives you a chance
to meet a lot of new people you may
not have met otherwise, thus avoiding
isolation. You’ve probably heard
that there is no unselfish good deed,
meaning that volunteering also makes
you feel good about yourself ! Once
you start to realize that you’re a great
person, you’ll stop wondering why
your ex broke up with you and realize
it was probably better this way.
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Reinvent your social media! Too
many of us keep thinking about our
exes because every time we pull up
our Facebook or Instagram, there
are a million memories there. Delete
those old photos! Keep ones that still
represent things you did or milestones
in your life, but delete all the silly
selfies or pictures with their family
at Christmas--the ones that hurt the
most. Focus on redesigning your
social media. Pick a color or a theme
and put your energy into following
that theme; it will force you to seek
out things to do to follow it. It will
keep you distracted and make your
profile look like you’re onto the next
big thing--even if you’re not.
“I went on a date with her best
friend. She told me we could still
be friends because we were part
of this huge friend group and she
didn’t want to make them pick
sides, so I took her word to heart.
I started dating her best friend,
and now three years later, we’re
engaged.”
-Joseph, Senior
Graphic by: happymelove
“One night, I was feeling really angry
at my ex. I also really wanted to eat
some junk food, but I didn’t want to
just sulk around and eat. So I made a
cake. I made a really beautiful cake, I
put frosting on it and everything, and
told myself this cake symbolized our
relationship: beautiful on the outside
but would come back to haunt you
later when you went to the gym. Then,
I got a hammer. And I smashed the
cake. I beat the crap out of it. Then I
ate the cake. It was delicious, and I felt
much better.”
-Becky, Sophomore
Go on a date. Even if you’re not
ready. You might find a meaningful
relationship where you least expect
it. Even if you really don’t want
to- let your friends set you up on
blind date. Go get coffee with that
guy in your theology class who
always smiles at you. Let yourself
consider other options, because
if you don’t, your mind will focus
on one person who isn’t an option
anymore.
“I made a playlist of every song
my ex hated. Then I drove up to
Fouche Gap one night and sat up
there by myself and blasted every
one of those songs and sang them
at the top of my lungs. I was hoping
somewhere he was hearing those
songs playing distantly and was
cringing.”
-Maddi, Freshman
10 Funk
VALKYRIE 11