Horse_amp_amp_Hound__06_February_2018
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GOODNIGHT<br />
‘The ponies are<br />
getting on my wick’<br />
Enticing her children to ride when the weather is grim proves<br />
tricky for Tessa Waugh — and means she has ponies eyeballing<br />
her through the kitchen window as they stand by the gate<br />
THE ponies are getting on my<br />
nerves at the moment. They<br />
are in a field near the house<br />
and every time I look out of<br />
the kitchen window they are<br />
standing at the gate, eyeballing me, as if to<br />
say, “yoo-hoo, we’re over here, come and do<br />
something with us”. It’s intrusive. I wish they<br />
would go away and graze or something.<br />
It is a rotten time of year for ponies. There<br />
isn’t much going on until Alec gets back from<br />
‘He soon came<br />
looming out of the<br />
darkness with the<br />
whites of his eyes<br />
showing and an<br />
expression that<br />
screamed, “get me<br />
away from her”’<br />
school for some hunting, and enticing Mary<br />
on board is proving difficult when it’s cold/<br />
wet/windy/all of the above. The sheep have<br />
eaten most of the grass (very selfish animals,<br />
sheep), so I’ve been feeding the ponies hay and<br />
bringing them in when the weather is bad.<br />
One evening, to save time, I opened the<br />
gate and let them bring themselves in. Joshy,<br />
the old boy (and only sensible one) trotted<br />
down the road and straight into his stable,<br />
followed by the new one, Rusty, who could<br />
smell food. Typically, our resident “mutton”<br />
and sex pest, Custard, sashayed (albeit slightly<br />
arthritically) in front of Jim as if to say, “fancy<br />
a ride, big boy?” before disappearing behind<br />
the muck heap with Jim on her tail. He soon<br />
came looming out of the darkness with the<br />
whites of his eyes showing and an expression<br />
that screamed, “get me away from her”.<br />
THERE was sad news from Wiltshire<br />
this week that got me thinking about<br />
the special nature of hunting. Dave<br />
Acreman, lifelong follower of the South and<br />
West Wilts, has died after a short struggle<br />
with cancer. Dave was a perennial on the<br />
South and West Wilts scene; recognisable for<br />
a sartorial combo of flat cap and black coat,<br />
belted up with binder twine.<br />
We weren’t exactly friends — most of<br />
our conversations didn’t go beyond “Aaaarrr<br />
Teeessss”; “Morning Dave” — but there was,<br />
certainly on my side, a deep regard borne out<br />
of our shared love of hunting. Dave was there<br />
on the last legal hunting day when the fox was<br />
caught in the twilight after a fast-paced hunt<br />
on Salisbury Plain. It was a very emotional<br />
day and everyone felt it as we packed up in<br />
the twilight. “Aaarrr Teeesss,” said Dave, and<br />
wrapped me in a big bear hug. I won’t forget<br />
that day and I won’t forget Dave. H&H<br />
The Nespresso machine<br />
TERESA arrived at the yard<br />
a month ago in a cloud of Jo<br />
Malone, dressed from head to<br />
toe in Pikeur. She brought with<br />
her two super-shiny German<br />
dressage horses, four Hermès<br />
saddles, a top-of-the-range<br />
Whittaker lorry with pop-out<br />
sides and a Sky dish — and<br />
a Nespresso machine.<br />
“I really can’t drink instant;<br />
I’d rather die,” announces<br />
Teresa, looking in horror at the<br />
catering-size tin of supermarket<br />
own-brand coffee and UHT milk.<br />
“Do help yourselves,” she<br />
adds generously, putting a<br />
By CATHERINE AUSTEN<br />
big box of capsules next to the<br />
machine and four pints of Waitrose<br />
semi-skimmed in the fridge.<br />
The other liveries are pretty<br />
suspicious. What’s wrong with<br />
instant? Why are the capsules<br />
different colours? But, like foals<br />
edging towards something new<br />
and strange, eventually someone<br />
is brave enough to try it. After<br />
a couple of disasters when<br />
overfilling the milk-frother, they are<br />
addicted. They like the purple and<br />
black capsules best, and feel rather<br />
cosmopolitan, standing round<br />
the tackroom heater sipping their<br />
Nespressos after riding.<br />
“And Teresa<br />
says I can borrow<br />
her Equissage pad<br />
whenever I want,”<br />
chirps Cheryl.<br />
“She says she<br />
can give me a lift<br />
to Addington next<br />
month,” pops<br />
in Trisha.<br />
“And she suggested I shared<br />
her lesson with Spencer next time,”<br />
adds Jo. “I think she’s actually all<br />
right...”H&H<br />
NEXT<br />
WEEK<br />
The moody mare<br />
rugby shirt<br />
Illustration by Emma Earnshaw. Picture by sarahfarnsworth.co.uk<br />
90 <strong>Horse</strong> & <strong>Hound</strong> 8 <strong>February</strong> <strong>2018</strong>