cool shit weird shit

SFX: SUSPENSFUL MUSIC THAT FADES OUT AFTER 6 SECS
DAVE (V.O.)
Some names have been changed to
protect the innocent.
KERRY
Kerry O’Neill is a 28 year old
writer, performer, and dog mother
living in the small town of Los
Angeles, California. She is a
gorgeous brunette with a striking
smile, and someone her peers look
up to. After a particularly hard
break up, Kerry took a year off
from dating, but had just begun
dipping her toes back in the water.
On Monday, October 30th 2017, Kerry
went to her weed trimming job
during the day. After the trim was
over, Kerry went home to prepare
her dog his home-cooked food. At
10:17pm she received a text message
from the man she had been casually
dating since August that would
change everything.
SLIDE: TEXT MESSAGE #1
KERRY (CONT’D)
A truly chilling text to receive...
SLIDE: TEXT MESSAGE #2
KERRY (CONT’D)
Call it a woman’s intuition but
this is a text back from a woman
who knows something has gone
wrong.... Drastically wrong.
SFX: SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC THAT FADES OUT AFTER 6 SECS
KERRY (CONT’D)
Kerry and “SHAWN” met when Kerry
moderated a panel he was speaking
on. They had a really great back
and forth banter that had the
entire audience of about 300 people
laughing. So it was only natural
that later that night when he asked
her out she said yes.
(MORE)

2.
KERRY (CONT’D)
They stayed up half the night
messaging on every social media
platform you could imagine, then
exchanged numbers and started
texting. It was only a matter of
time until they’d go on their first
date, which he got the ball rolling
on.
SLIDE: TEXT MESSAGE #3
KERRY (CONT’D)
Their first date ended with an
awkward kiss in the backseat of a
Lyft... but it was enough to seal
the deal of a second date. Over the
course of the next couple of months
they’d have dinner and drinks at
such Hollywood hot spots as
Salazar, Zebulon, Everson Royce,
Commissary, The Walker Inn, Little
Dom’s, Kettle Black, and Sawyer to
name a few. On the surface,
everything seemed fine, but deep
down, something wasn’t right.
Kerry switches seats.
KERRY (CONT’D)
(as herself now)
It just took us a while to warm up
to each other each date... there
was no picking up where we’d left
off. The dates were also just
very... rigid. Like, we’d always go
to dinner, then go somewhere nearby
for drinks, THEN we’d go back to
his place and make out. After a
while it was weird that we weren’t
kissing before the end of the
night, you know?
SFX: SUSPENSE MUSIC THAT FADES OUT AFTER 6 SECS
KERRY (CONT’D)
That’s when Kerry decided to
confide in a mutual friend, who
we’ll call “Tallison”. Tallison was
a former friend and co-worker of
“SHAWN”s. They’d had a falling out
but she didn’t have anything bad to
say about him. Kerry took this as a
good sign... until the bomb was
dropped.

3.
Kerry switches seats again.
KERRY (CONT’D)
We were having brunch when she told
me... He hadn’t seriously dated
anyone since college. Furthermore,
in the six years that she’d known
him, the longest that he’d dated
anyone was ONE GIRL for ONE MONTH
before he called it off. She told
me that from what he said about
her, she seemed completely normal
and it was his own thing why he was
breaking up with her.
SFX: SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC THAT FADES OUT AFTER 6 SECS
KERRY (CONT’D)
Any one else would have taken this
has a huge red flag. But not Kerry.
Kerry switches seats again.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Well, when I very carefully
breached the topic to him, he was
open and honest about it, so I felt
like it was fine. Plus, I was like,
putting him in my Instagram stories
and stuff... I figured if he was
gonna be scared away that would do
it... and it didn’t.
KERRY (CONT’D)
But did it?
Kerry takes out a corkboard of screenshots, yarned together.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Over the course of their two month
relationship, SHAWN appeared on her
Instagram story three times. Once
at a trendy Silverlake mural, once
on his couch playing with her dog,
Frank, and once during their last
date. We’ve blacked his face out
for protection but, he looks very
happy in the first two, not too
happy in the last one. But before
we get into that last date, we have
one of Kerry’s close friends and
confidant’s, Lyndsey Frank, here to
talk about Kerry’s dating history
and what she thought about “SHAWN”

4.
SFX: SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC THAT FADES OUT AFTER 6 SECS
Enter Lyndsey. Kerry asks about what Lyndsey knew of Kerry’s
dating history, says “so it’s not out of the realm of
possibility that she’d ignore some red flags” then asks about
whay Lyndsey thought about David. Lyndsey exits.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Interesting. When I interviewed
some of Kerry’s other friends about
SHAWN, here’s what they had to say.
SFX: SUPERCUT OF COMMENTARY
Dave enters.
KERRY (CONT’D)
But, despite all of this, they kept
hanging out. Things heated up a
bit. They started sleeping
together, and it was good. And,
according to Kerry, they were
constantly flirting via text. To
verify that information, I’ve
invited dating expert and author of
the book “Dealbreaker: The
Definitive List of Dating Offenses”
which is on sale in the lobby
behind one copy of that Rob Corddry
paintball movie, Dave Horwitz.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Lovely to have you here. So, what
do we make of these texts?
SLIDE: TEXT MESSAGE #4
Dave will comment and ask for the next slide when ready.
SLIDE: TEXT MESSAGE #5
Dave will comment and ask for the next slide when ready.
SLIDE: TEXT MESSAGE #6
Dave exits.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Thank you, Dave. Raw, Honest,
Insightful.
SFX: SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC THAT FADES OUT AFTER 6 SECS.

5.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Kerry was worried that things
weren’t moving forward in the
relationship, that they felt
stilted. She even debated breaking
things off, but then all of the
sudden SHAWN started doing things
like inviting her to meet his
friends, kissing her and holding
her hand at the beginning of dates,
texting her more frequently.
Kerry switches seats.
KERRY (CONT’D)
I started to really like him
because he was sending me signals
that he really liked me.
Kerry switches back.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Here’s where things really take a
turn. Late night on October 21st,
2017, SHAWN and Kerry met up after
a Diwali party for drinks. They
went back to his place and
proceeded to have consensual sex,
as usual. But this time, it wasn’t
usual. The condom broke.
Kerry switches seats.
KERRY (CONT’D)
It was really funny actually, he
was super great about it. We went
to the Silverlake CVS to get a Plan
B pill, but they were out. So we
had to drive to Koreatown. He was a
total gentleman, let me wait in the
car while he bought it, and took me
home. The next day I was suuuuper
sick, it really effected me. Kind
of shitty because I guess
everyone’s different and it doesn’t
effect people that bad usually.
KERRY (CONT’D)
But it effected Kerry. She had
horrible cramps, a low grade fever,
and general malaise.
(MORE)

6.
KERRY (CONT’D)
SHAWN checked in on her and asked
if she needed anything, she
declined and said she’d be fine,
just needed a day to recover. About
an hour later she received THIS E-
MAIL!
SLIDE: POSTMATES E-MAIL
KERRY (CONT’D)
SHAWN had sent her a $50 Postmates
giftcard. She wasn’t sure what to
make of this. It certainly made her
feel uncomfortable, but should it
have?
Kerry switches seats.
KERRY (CONT’D)
I guess I’m bad at receiving gifts
in general so I was trying not to
make a big deal of it... I think I
ended up texting him “Omg! You
didn’t have to do that, but thank
you!” I couldn’t tell if it was
weird that he sent the Postmates
giftcard or if I was making it
weird.
Kerry switches seats back.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Postmates. Your day just got
awesome with Postmates. Postmates
delivers quality food from just
restaurant in your area right to
your front door. At the touch of a
button have your favorite meal
delivered to your door with
Postmates. Use the code EMOTIONALLY
UNAVAILABLE 1 to get 10% off your
first delivery.
SFX: SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC THAT FADES OUT AFTER 6 SECS.
KERRY (CONT’D)
So, was the Plan B incident the
beginning of the end, or was the
relationship doomed from the start?
Let’s talk about Kerry and “SHAWN”s
last date.
(MORE)

7.
KERRY (CONT’D)
She showed up at his house during
the 7th inning of Game 4 of the
World Series- which may seem
insignificant now, but remember
that. It was his birthday a few
days earlier, and she wasn’t sure
if she should get him a gift or
not...
Kerry switches seats.
KERRY (CONT’D)
I didn’t wanna get him anything too
big, because it had only been a
couple months, you know? But also
he was paying for expensive dinners
most of the time, like $150-$200
range, so I didn’t want to get him
something cheap. While we were
dating he had bought and moved into
a new home and I’d already bought
him a beautiful succulent
arrangement that my friend Matt
Cordova’s dad made as a
housewarming gift.
SLIDE: SUCCULENT ARRANGEMENT
SLIDE: TEXT ABOUT SUCCULENT ARRANGEMENT
KERRY (CONT’D)
So, I ended up getting him soap.
Kerry switches back.
KERRY (CONT’D)
$135 dollars worth of soap from the
luxury store AESOP.
SLIDE: RECEIPT FOR SOAP. Kerry switches seats.
KERRY (CONT’D)
We had this sort of inside joke---
he had been using face wash that
his mom put in his upstairs
bathroom as hand soap. I knew it
was face wash but didn’t say
anything for like two weeks. When I
finally told him, he insisted it
was hand soap but then the next day
he said he looked into it and it
was face wash after all. So I got
him three fancy soaps from Aesop
with a note that said “FOR HANDS”.

8.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Kerry gave him the gift and they
watched the end of the Dodger game--
The Dodgers had been losing until
she arrived but they came back for
a victory! SHAWN joked that she was
a good luck charm. They went to
dinner at a nearby Italian
restaurant, Alimento, and had
drinks at Thirsty Crow, where he
offered to pass along her script to
a friend who works on her dream
television show. She accepted.
Things seemed to be moving right
along. They slept together, as
usual. And that was that.... Or was
it? What I didn’t mention was that
on the way to SHAWN’s house in a
Lyft that night, Kerry pulled up
next to her ex boyfriend driving
with his current girlfriend. It was
the first time she had seen him in
person in almost a year.
Kerry switches seats.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Every time I see a White Nissan
Versa I’m like, “Omg, it’s gonna be
him” but it never is. This time we
were driving up and I saw it-- the
license plate said 7CK... I just
knew it was gonna be him. And it
was. He didn’t see me, thank god.
It felt kinda good because I truly
didn’t feel anything for him by
looking at him. He and his
girlfriend literally didn’t phase
me at all.
Kerry switches back.
KERRY (CONT’D)
But was it a omen? If you remember
before, Kerry arrived at SHAWN’s
house during the 7th inning of the
Dodgers game... The ex boyfriends
license plate is 7CK. Coincidence?
Or omen of the death of a
relationship?
SFX: SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC THAT FADES OUT AFTER 6 SECS

9.
KERRY (CONT’D)
This brings right up to that Monday
night text asking if SHAWN could
call Kerry. While we don’t have
footage of the phone call, we do
have a first hand account.
Kerry switches seats.
KERRY (CONT’D)
Yeah, he basically said that he
really liked a lot of things about
me but that he just didn’t have
“that feeling” that he wants to
have with someone he’s in a
relationship with. Looking back, I
guess I didn’t either. He also said
he has problems expressing emotions
and with emotional availability,
which I identified pretty early on,
so he wasn’t even sure if he was
capable of feeling “that feeling”.
I did ask him why he started acting
so boyfriendy towards the end, and
he said he was trying to “go with
it” and see if he’d feel a spark. I
guess I think that’s kind of
shitty. At the end of it I told him
to have a nice life and we had a
laugh about that. And I’m totally
gonna follow up on that script pass
along he did on my behalf. I think
I just wanted a person and he was A
person, but he wasn’t THE person,
so... it’s fine.
SFX: SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC THAT FADES OUT AFTER 6 SECS
KERRY (CONT’D)
Will Kerry continue to go after
emotionally stunted and unavailable
men? Will she moderate another
panel in hopes of meeting a perfect
partner? Was running into her ex an
omen? Will she get hired on
Transparent? Tune into Season 2 of
EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE, which will
probably drop sometime in early
Spring after another short lived
relationship
(beat)
THANK YOU EVERYONE I’M KERRY
O’NEILL AND I AM VERY ALONE!!