In Stone & Shadow: A Workbook in Recovery

IN STONE AND SHADOW DR. SHRADHDHA SHAH

ABOUT
BECAUSE WORDS MEAN POWER...
IN STONE AND SHADOW DR. SHRADHDHA SHAH
BOOK
Story
Fable
To recover
To learn
MOMENTS FROM THE PAGES
“Only once upon an interesting time..”
“ ..his journey was about to change course..”
“ ..the motivation to see opportunities..”
“ ..needs change, consequences change..”
“ ..relationships are bits of life flushed with vivacity..”
“ ..without the glorification of pain or suffering..”
AUTHOR
Consultant: Chronic Diseases
Researcher: Recovery & Health
Person: Portrait-Art, Choreography For The Specially-Abled
Important: Service To Animals
Inspiration: People
“The book reminds me of everything that is simple
and achievable in life. It is a book full of hope and
good faith. The author has been able to identify and
breakdown some of our biggest fears and worries as
well as offer solutions through this engaging fable!”
–
Madhuri Kudva – Fitness Professional, Co-Founder: Elite
Fitness, Mumbai / Writer: Elephant Journal / Super-Mom.
“We love the idea that its important to expect
something new from yourself every once in a while,
maybe as often as possible!”
–
Fenny Shah (33) – Home-Maker/ Artist/ Evolved Entrepreneur/
Educator/ Chef & Jarvinya Shah (10) Dancer/ Artist/ Student
“If you decide to read this book, you will be left with
no choice but to understand yourself.”
–
Ashraf Sheikh (16) – Student
“Death is easy, endings are easy, change is easy,
transitions are easy - read the book.”
–
P. Farzi
“I wondered if children really grasp the meaning of
death or pain or suffering in a parent. They do. They
explained this book better than I could have.”
–
S. Mehta (40) – Coutre Designer & Home - Fussing, Pancake -
Tossing Wonder-Mum

Star: “The fundamental question is, do you believe in magic ?”
Stone: “Where is this magic?”

Dedicated to Dr. Rajul and Dr. Jayesh Shah MD (Hom.)
“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood,
but of respect and joy in each other’s life.”
Richard Bach

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Each one holds the promise of a writer within. We author our triumphs, our
disappointments, the life we choose to honour and the choices we walk past.
This fable has been an experience in synchronicity. I believe the feedback from
children and young adults has been more inspiring than the writing itself.
For this, I’m grateful.
I’d like to thank Sushama Jain for her artwork, editorial wisdom and for her ever
beautifully timed common sense. Thank you for being a part of this manuscript.
The team at Studio Anugraha are synonymous with insightful design – it is
my good fortune to have worked with them on this project. Thank you for
your time, dedication and involvement. Jezreel Nathan, your intuitive eye for
possibilities is irreplaceable. Thank you for the illustrations! They bring vitality
to the inner life of each character.
Freeyan Netherwala Maloo, I’m grateful for your gifted guidance – you helped
give colour and form to an invaluable part of the process.
Lipi Mehta, your gentle editorial guidance is deeply appreciated – the expertise
was inimitably helpful.
Bonsy Desai, many thanks for your detailed advice – you’re one of the best
editors in children’s literature. I hope your work continues to touch people in
the years to come.
Keisha, you’ve brought wings to my life.

CONTENTS
Copyright © Shradhdha Shah 2012
The right of Shradhdha Shah to be identified as the Author of the
Work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright,
Designs & Patents Act 1988.
ISBN : 978-1-78808-504-5
Apart from any permitted use under the UK copyright law, this
publication may only be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any
form, or by any means, with prior permission in writing of the
publishers or, in the case of reprographic production, in accordance
with the terms of licences issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency.
Printed & Bound by Karigari, Mumbai, India (2017).
Design & Illustration by Studio Anugraha, Mumbai, India.
Contact: inquiries@instoneandshadow.com
The Beginning 09
Angel or Not? 21
Memories 41
The Blue Marble 53
The Focal Screen 65
Only Calm 71
The Globe 79
A Shadow 85

CHAPTER 01

Only once upon an interesting time, there was Stone. He lived high
up on a mountaintop, where the Sun was fierce and the Wind was cold.
Stone was decidedly old, but so much younger than the Sun and the
Wind. The Beetle-From-The-Tree scratched the tree-bark for every year
that Stone strolled, sauntered, stretched and sped past. By this time, he
had lived a hundred years (Stone often wondered, do beetles normally
live that long? Or was B-F-T-T just special?). Beatle-F-T-T had quietly
smudged over and away more than a few years to the melody of Stone’s

famous snores, since he knew that the distress from knowing one’s true
age left deep scars in mineral lives like those of Stone. He also knew
that Stone had no regrets save one—he yearned to visit the foothill of
the mountain, where the rest of his family lived (if the whispers of his
memory were to be believed).
Life had never lost its verve before, but Stone sensed a wonderment
about death and life in the heavens. Somehow, there was no fear;
just quickly pushed away wonderment. Maybe it would be good to
go ‘home’ to the heavens (with his age, it could help to be ‘spiritually
correct’), but before that he wanted very much to meet his family.
Stone remembered very little of his journey to the top of the mountain.
In the years since, he had grown old, wise and almost gymnastically
alert at predicting any change in weather. He could tell when the
Wind grew temperamental and the Sun moved rather diplomatically
into the solitude of the clouds. He knew when the Rain was ready to
visit (or storm in without invitation) and when the Snow grew restless
(impatient, beautiful but demanding). All this mindfulness of the Sun
and the Wind, but no memory of his ascent to the top of the mountain.
Today and for the many days that had led to this one, Stone grew aware
of the feebleness that he felt within. The winters felt colder and the heat
harsher with every passing season. The strength of younger days was
silent, as if time had passed its verdict on him. Hard it was to accept
the changes that came with time and Stone saw himself grow quieter
with each year. He avoided the other stones and the visiting eagles. His
principal companions on most days were the worms and the ants that
pestered him by wriggling below his bottom (and Beatle-F-F-T, of course).
That evening, as the setting Sun cast its glow over the mountain-top,
Stone stared sombrely over the horizon. He sighed deeply. He had
grown weary of life and longed for the solace of Death (or was this
depression, as Beetle-F-F-T frequently reminded him?). However,
Death showed no signs of visiting. Stone had seen so many births and
endings in the course of his life that Death almost felt like a familiar
visitor.
“Death will be an end to the choices of this lifetime,” he once said
to Beatle-F-T-T wearily, “maybe it’s the home I seek. Can’t seem
to find ‘home’, matters not where I am,” he continued musing.
“Tikyun’s presence always felt like home, but she found another
one, a permanent one. Is there another real home for me? Is there
even a thing such as a permanent home?”
“Maybe you’re looking for family and that’s all the home you
need,” offered Beatle-F-T-T.
“Home is respite, home is freedom, home is love and acceptance.
I’ve lived here forever, well almost, but home still awaits. Home I
shall be, some day not very long from now when fate and perhaps
courage permit.” Stone remembered this wishful reply – poignant,
purposeful but still a little helpless.
Now retired from a lifetime of being the physician equivalent of the
mountain, he often longed for company that would truly understand
him maybe even in ways that he didn’t. The young leaves and stones
of the mountaintop were energetic and lively. They listened to his tales
12 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW THE BEGINNING
13

of days past with fascination, sometimes disbelief and often nonchalant
entertainment. Stone didn’t mind.
Returning to the moment, Stone observed the shadows of the night as
they shifted with the movements of the clouds over the moon. With
more cliché than Stone would’ve imagined for this particular moment,
a brilliant flash of light exploded before him. Stone jumped, startled.
Standing before him was a small sparkle, maybe a star? Leaning closer,
Stone was surprised to see that the sparkle-slash-star had a little mouth
and a pair of eyes that blinked as he drew closer. The two strangers
stared at each other in silence.
Star laughed.
“Well, were you eager for a shooting star, then? Especially the kind
that grant wishes?”
Stone held back a small laugh.
“No, no. I was on no look-out for stars or comets or any other
heavenly bodies! I was looking for answers and maybe the right
questions. I know my life will be ending soon and I feel like it has
passed me by when I wasn’t looking.”
“Are you ill? Why must your life end soon?” asked Star.
“Definitely a star,” thought Stone. He swallowed nervously.
“Maybe the heavens have sent this star to take me to them,” he
thought with slight trepidation.
“Hello?” a soft voice spoke from the star’s lips. “Did you call?”
The Stone stared at the tiny figure before him. “Who are you?” he asked.
“I’m Star. The heavens sent me. Didn’t you ask for a friend? A home?”
“I feel old. I feel weak. I’m looking for ‘home’ whatever that
means, and wherever that is. I’ve seen Death come in here and
take his share, or maybe it’s a ‘her’. So many of the irreversibly
ill feel peaceful, like they’re going home in the hours before they
meet Death. While I never believed it before, may be Death
really is home. Perhaps it takes us back to our beginning.
Perhaps. A friend, Beatle-F-T-T, says that finding home here,
now, in this moment is more important. Finding home here is
feeling like home everywhere. Home is within, that kinda thing.
But I don’t feel it.”
Stone fumbled for the right words.
“I… I did. But I don’t know you! Were you in a celestial accident?
Or a rare species of shooting stars maybe? One that lands on
mountain tops rather than zipping past above them?” he asked
with doubt.
“Tell me, if you could do anything in the world before and if you
go, what would it be?” Star asked.
Stone sighed quietly. The ache in his heart grew deeper.
“It’s too late now.”
14 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW THE BEGINNING
15

“I’d like to know anyway.”
“When I was very young, I had a purpose, a wish for myself,”
Stone said softly. “It wasn’t even really mine. It was a wish for me.
Years have passed and I haven’t even begun. Some dreams never
descend to the real world.” Stone’s shoulders slumped.
Star grew quiet.
“Maybe, but do dreams die?”
Stone turned to face Star. He smiled sadly.
“I have no strength. I’m weak, I’m old, I’ve grown forgetful. It’s
too late.”
A solitary tear threatened to roll down his face. He looked at Star, so young,
so energetic in her youthfulness.
“A hundred years have passed and I haven’t even begun,” said
Stone morosely.
”Well, I would still like to know what it was, your dream,” Star said
gently.
Stone turned around, walked to a small mound of earth behind him and
seated himself wearily.
“Well, when I was a child, a young gypsy-girl found me by the
riverside. She took a liking to me. She placed me inside a soft
maroon box and that was my home for the few uncommon years
that followed. I will never forget her – deep brown eyes, with the
smallest hint of mischief in them. Recurring mischief, not the kind
that appears only once in a long while. She talked to me often,
like she would to another human. She thought I was lucky for her
and vowed never to lose me,” Stone smiled nostalgically. “Her
name Tikyun. I often heard her mother calling out to her in the
mornings, or when she had forgotten something important, which
was all too often.” Stone stopped talking momentarily and raised
his eyes to look at Star. “As many young people are, she was a
dreamer. She… well, she always spoke of stones and pebbles that
contained magic – the rare ones. She thought I had magic within
me, magic that could change lives. She said that there were ways
of bringing this magic to life.”
Stone paused to see if Star was still listening.
“Do you even believe me?” he asked with a small smile.
Star nodded slowly.
Stone turned and walked away from Star, sighing deeply.
“Tikyun was very wise. She was an old soul in a young body. She
often spoke of wisdoms beyond her age. She would write into the
night until her eyes ached from the dimness of the starlight.”
Star stood beside Stone, watching the shadows of the night play softly
with strands of moonlight on the slope before them. It was a while before
one of them spoke.
“Go on,” Star urged quietly.
16 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW THE BEGINNING
17

“She got sick. She was taken away, maybe to get better, and well,
I was with her mother for a while, with her other valuables. One
day, her parents brought me here and buried me, right here, on
this hillock, though not very deep. I managed to wriggle out soon
after. I’ve been here ever since. I’m now almost like a grandfather
to the young pebbles here! They come to me with problems,
when they need someone to talk to. I like it here. I’m happy that
I spent my life helping people be happier. But I just… I just can’t
forget Tikyun’s quest. She was so convinced that if someone,
anyone, found the right way to ‘activate’ the magic, it would lead to
something crucial. I barely believe it myself.”
was old, older than Stone could or would imagine. She was a spark from
the Great Perfection, something greater than her, and yet an equal. She
had chosen, so many galaxies ago, to help sentient beings uncover the
perfections within. Star was accustomed to looking within souls and
helping them shine when darkness threatened to engulf their goodness.
But Stone did not know this. He needn’t know. It would be good if he
discovered this himself, with all but gentle facilitation from Star. Stone
didn’t know it, but his journey was about to change course forever .
Star looked at the old figure before her. She could see beyond the ageravaged
scars and the withered body. Stone’s soul shone with brilliance
within its hard, lined shell. She could see lines of choices made and choices
left untouched intertwine his soul in a rich mesh of pulsating orbits. She
could see the value of past intentions, the trials he had chosen to bear and
the wisdom that lay concealed within the mortal body. She knew that if she
spoke of this, he may not believe her. No one believes in the perfections of
the soul. There always is a certain relativity to events that throws a shadow
against the perfection within. Seeing perfection consistently becomes a
forbidden luxury, or maybe a practical flaw. Something must always be
better than something else; the past, the present and the future will
appear to be changing even when the one seeing them chooses to remain
unchanged. It takes a devoted seeker to perceive the absolutes through
the relative. Living with both successfully is a matter of art.
Star knew that she looked young and smiled at the presumption. She
18 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW THE BEGINNING
19

CHAPTER 02

S tone was puzzled by Star’s silence. He was most convinced that Star
was a fantasy, a wishful invention of his mind. She was not real. Stone
knew more about Death than most. He knew of delusions that could
plague the soul at such a time. It was a time of transition, consciousness
shifted dimensions and delusions were common. He knew of the
nature of reality, the impermanence of perception, and he was not
perturbed, at least not completely. This delusion was sweet and
genuine and urged him to follow his soul’s purpose. It could only be

a messenger from heaven or maybe one from the heaven in his subconscious.
He was consumed only by remorse - he sought an answer to
a quest that had belonged to Tikyun, but now felt like his own.
He looked at Star and wondered what she was thinking. Even if for
a moment, he assumed that Star really was magical, wish-granting
celestial help and not a hopeful projection of his mind… maybe he
could ask this apparition how much longer he had. Was he really dying?
Maybe he could get started on Tikyun’s quest even now, even with little
time. He knew his body was old and weak, but will could surely outspeed
time when purpose came calling? Especially with celestial help
And so, Stone turned to Star with resolve, as one does to meaningful
apparitions that flit through the cracks of reality.
“I have a favor to ask,” he said, “If you are, as you say, from the
heavens, I need your help. I need to find the code – the magical
code that will lead me to Tikyun’s wish before I die. This needs
to be done.” Stone felt his voice getting stronger. “I’ve seen several
deaths in my lifetime. I’m not afraid. I know that consciousness must
eventually return to its source. All I ask is this—will you help me?”
Star looked at him penetratingly.
“You said that you feel old and weak and forgetful. Maybe it’s too
large a task! How do you know Tikyun was being rational when
she spoke of this ‘code’? Maybe it was just a romantic notion of
a young gypsy girl.”
“I don’t know, but I must find a way... to find the way?”
Stone replied thickly.
“These doubts have been old friends to you, Stone. An honest
quest can be marred by the darkness of distrust,” said Star, “For
instance, I could argue that many rational scholars of your time
agree that ‘magic’ in itself is a cultural phenomenon. What if this
hunch or even the magic you speak of is simply a projection of
cultural conditioning?” Star watched the emotions shift across
Stone’s face, ‘Strength will release itself from doubt when you
wish, Stone. The answers will walk into your outstretched arms.’
“A conversation with a talking star, is this magic or mental illness?
Whoever you be, the danger of abandonment amid a quest is
an important doubt to consider,” said Stone, “I don’t doubt my
doubts. They are here for a purpose.”
“Sometimes temporary insanity brings perspective to the sane.
Abandonment looks unlikely,” said Star, “But to answer your question,
magic is of many kinds. Magic for one could be logic to another. Let it
work for you. More importantly, this is a quest that your heart longs
for – it no longer belongs to Tikyun. Her memories are a treasuretrove
for your own dreams. Any magic that could arise is yours, even
though Tikyun’s faith renewed more meaning than yours could.
Doubt and inspiration are both difficult to forget, let each one do
what it must, but neither are more important than the quest itself.”
Stone was silent for a long while. Finally he nodded,
“Shall we proceed?”
24 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW ANGEL OR NOT?
25

Star turned to look at the skies.
“You have several steps to ford before we undo the code. I gather
these are tasks that were artfully avoided in the past? Important
circumstances that you prevented unknowingly? They must be
completed now, before the magic is unraveled. If the magic from
the code mingles with the traces of deeds unfinished, one can get
trapped within the code, with no no purpose or identity – only the
horrors of an unfinished life to gnaw at the insides of your existence.”
Stone looked down at the ground beneath him. He suddenly felt old and
young at the same time, like he about to be born just before dying.
“Are they tasks I can do? Or am I too decrepit for them? Too
creaky? Too doddering?”
Star smiled at the question.
“They are tasks that will bring you closer to your mind’s harbor,
but they will not be easy.”
to know if you are truly ready for these tasks.”
Stone swallowed nervously,
“What kind of test?”
Star suppressed a smile. She held up her right hand. Her fist was closed.
“Do you know what lies in my hand?”
“No! What is it?” asked Stone.
Star opened her fist very slowly. Right there in her palm was a thin layer
of Stone’s skin.
“Where did you get that?” said Stone in surprise.
“You scraped yourself while walking some time ago and I simply
collected… this.” said Star emphatically. “Now, I’m going to pass
it through this,” she said as she pulled out a tiny circular clock-like
apparatus from behind her.
“I may not have much time—will I be able to complete these
before I…” asked Stone quietly.
“What is that?” asked Stone peering cautiously over Star’s shoulder
into the contraption as Star slid the layer of skin into it.
“I believe so,” replied Star.
“All right, what are they? I shall certainly try,” said Stone, feeling
rather excited, although he didn’t show it.
The clock whirred for a few minutes and then hiccupped to a halt. A
series of dots and slashes appeared on the screen, blinking furiously.
“Ah ha…” murmured Star, staring at the screen fixedly.
“As old-fashioned as this may sound, I need to test your faculties
“What? What is it?” asked Stone impatiently.
26 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW ANGEL OR NOT?
27

“Hmmm…not bad at all! Rather good, I would say,” said Star,
nodding to herself.
“WHAT is it? Tell me!” exclaimed Stone.
“Well… this machine measures the Heart-Energy Quotient of
subjects… and yours, I’m happy to say, is quite high…” said Star
thoughtfully.
Stone swallowed his irritation with difficulty.
“What is a Heart-Energy Quotient?” he asked.
Star looked up at him with a smile.
“Oh, I apologize for not explaining! The Heart-Energy Quotient
is one’s internal potential for compassion, magic and genuine
empathy.”
Stone slowly digested her words before responding.
“What kind of magic? How does one measure magic? Is each ones’
magic different?”
as well, but only one kind that will work for you. You need to
find your kind. Magic is the motivation to see opportunities for
a happier potential. The motivation itself creates the potential.
Measuring these is a lifetimes’ work or simply put, the work of
celestial helpers like me. We don’t like to judge the measurement,
but we like to share it with the soul-on-quest.”
Stone considered this carefully.
“But I’ve not always attached positive meanings to so many
important events, when I know I could have…”
“Yes, I know, but that only happened when you didn’t know how.
That will change. You didn’t know you could, because you always
viewed the world through your experiences and conclusions, not
as it really is. This meter here shows a rough percentile of your
growth in this direction so far. I have to say I’m quite impressed.
You are very close to the Next Level,” said Star, looking at him
meaningfully.
“The Next Level?” repeated a perplexed Stone.
Star nodded.
“Good question. Magic is the ability to attach a positive meaning
to events, taking responsibility for their outcome whole-heartedly.
It is the potential for realizing the creative force within you and
using this to create affirmative events around you, in all kinds of
circumstances… it’s simple, but not always easy. This is one kind
of magic that is accessible to almost all. There are several others
“Yes! When you go to the Next Level, you can teach some aspects
of This Premise to younger souls!” said Star proudly.
“How about a translation? I can’t understand a word!” wondered
Stone in exasperation.
Star grinned.
28 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW ANGEL OR NOT?
29

“The Next Level, my friend is the next stage of potential.”
“Of potential? What if we fail? Wait, can one fail at having
potential”
“No one can fail in having potential. In failure lie opportunities for
creation. You are so close, Stone, to the next stage of creating your
potential. Failure, however will always be close,” said Star, “it’s not
the enemy.”
“I do not like to fail, Star. Why would I even proceed if I were to be
assured of failure?” asked Stone.
“You want to create, Stone and you want to create miracles. The
short way is succeeding and creation may cease. Failure, on the
other hand will guide you until nothing more perfect is possible. That
is the miracle of failure,” said Star, “succeeding in some challenges
and failing miserably in others and still create – this is the Next
Level. The codes that you are working to change is This Premise. At
any proposed time, if you choose, you can share nuances of This
Premise with new groups of beings learning the codes at the time,
or you could choose to start gaining prowess toward the Next Level.
Being the general-physician of the mountaintop was also one form
of code, it was This Premise, but it’s over now. It’s time for the Next
Level. Seeking the magical code within you, as proposed by Tikyun
is the Next Level. Your biggest failures from This Premise will follow
you into the Next Level in a way that you will have no choice but to
create perfection. Do you follow?”
“I do… yes.” Stone squared his frame decisively, “I want these
moments of progress.”
“Well, let’s not delay any further,” she said, briskly walking ahead.
“Let us get to the first task. Are you ready?”
Stone replied with concentration.
“Yes.”
“Close your eyes,” said Star, “and think of your first irreversible
disappointment.”
Stone frowned at the question.
“I’m definitely hallucinating,” he thought.
But even as he completed the thought, a familiar scene floated before
his eyes. His knees began to buckle and he felt as if all the air had been
knocked out of him.
He saw himself - a young pebble by the side of a river, with his brother
only a shade lighter than him. The peb-lings were clearly enjoying the cool
of the river in the crisp sun. The wavelets gently crashed against them.
Their giggles and gigglets permeated the air around them. Stone felt
almost tangibly, the deep comfort of their companionship as the scene
grew clearer in his mind’s eye. He smiled as they pushed each other further
into the water, laughing hysterically as one of them stumbled over a twig.
Suddenly, a large shadow loomed above them. Both brothers looked up
in surprise. A huge, brown shape further loomed and then dove towards
30 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW ANGEL OR NOT?
31

them. Before either could respond, a cold, black clamp enveloped them…
snatching them and the surrounding twigs into its clutches. As the shape
rose above the ground, Stone saw his brother tumble out of the grasp of
the vice. Fear gripped him as he helplessly saw his brother below, crying
out his name. He found himself rising higher. The wind rushed past him as
two great, feathered wings swept up and down about him rhythmically
on either side. Gusts of wind flew and blew against Stone, chilling him to
his very core. Suddenly, he felt the feathered flier wobble in its course,
losing its momentum against the gust. The vice around him loosened and
much before he knew it, he found his disintegrated self hurtling toward
the ground. Stone had never experienced terror such as this before. His
heart was exploding with the horror of the moment and some part of his
confused mind knew that death was close. His downward tumble ended
abruptly. The shock of hitting a hard surface completely knocked every
last fear from him. He vaguely experienced a wetness on his cheeks and
realized he was crying. For a moment, wondered whether the pain he felt
was on the other side of life. It was a long time before he regained his
breath. Nearly every part of his body was bruised and battered. As he
looked straight above him, he could see several patches of green. There
were so many shades of green, more than he ever remembered seeing
before. Once again he wondered if he had died and gone to a certain kind
of heaven. Slowly and painfully, he propped himself up against a stray
but sturdy twig. He could feel the parts within his body rattle against
their stony shell.
As he looked around, he was startled to see that the fall had attracted
a great deal of attention from the local inhabitants. A number of young
pebbles and even a snail peeked curiously at him through the moss.
A vaguely familiar human face loomed over him. Tikyun! Her hands
reached out to retrieve him from the wet bank.
“The Blue Marble!” she cried. “I’ve found the Blue Marble! It’s
cracked, at least there is one half? I’ve found you at last! The crusts
from your skin will cure so many illnesses. The grey crust must be
separated from the marble… but we need to find the rest of you…”
Stone awoke from his reverie. He felt his heart beat faster as he blinked
foggily at his surroundings. Star was peering cautiously at him, poking
him gently in his side. Star was gentle, but poke she did. At the right time,
in the right way.
“Are you alright? For a moment there, I thought you had slipped
off to sleep… you didn’t respond to my calls!” Star said.
“I’m alright. What was that? I felt as if I was reliving my life! It was
so real!” exclaimed Stone as he sat up slowly.
“What did you see?”
Stone gulped.
“I saw… I saw myself as a young pebble… with my brother, my
family. I was happy. And then… a bird of some kind caught hold of
me and I was falling,” Stone found himself trembling uncontrollably.
“I was falling… I was falling so fast, I was so scared,” Stone looked
up at Star. “I know that this has happened, but I… I had forgotten.
How did it come back? Why was it so real? I saw Tikyun! She said
32 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW ANGEL OR NOT?
33

I was a marble, a blue marble with a grey crust.” Stone looked
down at his body. Still grey. “What did she mean?”
Star suppressed a grin, then grinned openly.
“Do you want to see something?”
“Wha...”
“Do you still think the event belongs to the past?” asked Star.
“Of course it’s an event from the past although I don’t know how you
made it appear on that screen,” stone frowned slightly, “just so you
know, I’ve already accepted that I’m hallucinating and my awareness
of makes this a little easier for me. So go ahead… I’m ready for any
strange explanation that you may have for this little screen.”
Before Stone could say anything, Star indicated to a spot beside them
and soundlessly, a screen of blue appeared. It flickered and slowly an
image began to appear on the surface of the screen. Stone blinked. On
the screen before him was the very same memory that he had relived
only a few moments ago! He felt that he was emotionally connected
to the scene playing before him. He could experience every emotion
again. The scene replayed itself over again and again, while Stone and
Star watched in silence. Finally, it flickered and silently died out. Stone
felt drained. In the lifelike but blurry repetitions he caught glimpses of
Tikyun as she held him. Her scarf was sequined with little mirrors and
in the mirrors he saw something that froze his heart. In the mirrors of
the scarf, he saw a reflection of himself – not grey, but a beautiful deep
blue, a marble peeking from crusts of dull grey in places. Once more, he
looked down at his body in a jolt of panic – still grey. He turned to Star.
“What was that?” he asked, irritated.
“Grounds for vantage?” she asked.
“I think I’m dizzy,” replied Stone, rubbing his head.
Star chuckled.
“You seem less logical than when I first met you.”
“I think I’ve surrendered to these places you are taking me on,”
replied Stone.
“The logic is important, but it needs to be integrated into a larger
perspective.”
Stone nodded, contemplating Star’s words.
“I didn’t want to learn from you when I first met you. I was
skeptical. I was scared. Now, I’ve surrendered to the peculiarity
of this situation. Go on, tell me about the screen, I’m listening.”
The repetition of the scene had somehow produced an alacrity that
was still was still looking for words even if in thoughts. The memory no
longer hurt as it had once.
Star looked at the spot where the screen had flickered out of sight a
few minutes ago.
34 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW ANGEL OR NOT?
35

“This was a field. It was an energy field, a terra firma of experience
that contained the memory and information from that moment; it
contained the emotional charge, the thoughts, the fears and the
images of that incident. Every time you think of this moment or
speak of it, you enter this terra firma. It does not belong to any
point in time, it just is. You feel it is in the past because you are
used to viewing it through the present, through the here and the
now. When the ‘here and now’ change, the past and the future
are altered. Right now, you’re a storehouse of insights for that
past self - it communicated with you through this screen. You will
notice that your anxieties are reduced and I don’t doubt that this
past self will now make different choices as well. You will meet
him sooner rather than later, but will you know if the stranger
before you is a fragmented self from the past? That remains to be
seen, doesn’t it? You have evolved so strikingly that you are only
now beginning to see yourself through Tikyun’s perspective. For
problems of the present though, you remain grey.”
Stone tried to absorb Star’s words.
“What does that mean for me? I mean… right now?”
“It means that you are creating every bit of perspective in your life. The
more you validate your beliefs, the more real they become. Also, don’t
be surprised if you meet your old self on the way to the code. That’s
the only way Nature can boast and bluster of your personal progress.”
“What about circumstances, situations? Don’t they play a part?”
asked Stone.
“They will, but not without your participation. The more inspired
you are within, the less the circumstance is likely to traumatize or
fragment you. It’s your participation that makes it real.” replied Star.
Stone frowned.
“The bird that caught me was accidental, circumstantial even, I was
a child, the fear it brought to me was unavoidable. How is it possible
for me to not respond in a situation when it is truly a fearful one?”
“Yes, but you could re-imagine your response in retrospect and
re-understand it for a changed impact. That is true healing, when
the grey sparkles its way into a brilliant blue. This will allow you
to experience inspiration more fully. Fears are stored at a deeply
unconscious plane. They must find release. They are the prison
of the marble and the guardian of the grey. There is no end to
learning, no one moment of enlightenment; rather, there are a
series of enlightenments, each taking you closer to your soul, to
wholeness, to grace.” replied Star.
“What you say needs time to fathom. I can think of a million
arguments. But I need to know – how is this related to my purpose,
to the magic and its code?”
Star grinned.
“Well, why did you allow so many years to pass you by before you
considered the quest?”
Stone breathed deeply.
36 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW ANGEL OR NOT?
37

“Well, it seemed too difficult and there was never the right time.
I didn’t want to fail and… why are you laughing?”
“That’s the grey speaking. Get the greys and reframe them, the
traumas, big and small - extract the positives and discard the
rest. These fears impact your life directly through fortified belief
systems. Your present, your future and ironically, even your
past, are impacted by these fears since one always views one’s
past through the gaze of the present. The purpose if blue, the
process is grey.”
Stone paused for a moment before answering. Memories of his wife
floated before him without warning. His heart lurched. If Death could be
considered home, he wished his wife had found that sanctuary.
“I think I’d like to meet my wife, Coral. She died a few years ago.
Could we meet her in the past or will she meet us in the present?”
Star nodded thoughtfully.
“Let’s go . ”
Stone had grown sombre. He was beginning to realize that he wanted
more of that brilliant blue. Grey out, blue in.
“Where next?”
“You could choose.”
Stone looked at Star inquiringly.
“What is the choice?”
“Choosing to live with fear or die to the old fears. Go back to your
old life at the mountain-top or the next task?”
“The next task,” replied Stone.
“This time, you choose the ‘self’ that you wish to visit. Any moment
that you would like revised? It’s nearly like re-writing that part of
your story.”
38 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW ANGEL OR NOT?
39

CHAPTER 03

S tar had thought long and deep of her stakes in this quest. Stone’s
grey crust, and chunks of it perhaps would cure her daughter.
“Nevé was born with an aberration, adopted and nurtured, but
cured she will be. If only Stone was in the know.”
Stone wobbled through the weeds and the moss, grumbling under his
breath. Star strode ahead gracefully, leading the way. She delicately
pushed the weeds out of the way, while Stone panted to keep up with her.

“How does she walk so quickly?” he thought.
“I exercise regularly. Do you?” called Star, without turning.
body seemed to be covered with millions of tiny crystalline particles that
shone luminously. Stone realized how grateful he was to be with her in
this moment in his life.
“Where are we going? Aren’t you going to say something about
this task?” asked Stone grumpily. He didn’t particularly enjoy
being ordered about.
Star turned to gesture toward the right.
“Keep an eye out for a circular mark to your right. It will be like an
engraving. And Stone?”
Star said nothing. Stone looked up to repeat the question with a greater
degree of irritation, but to his astonishment, Star had disappeared.
“Wha… Star?” he squeaked nervously. “I hate this magic stuff.
It always catches you unaware.”
Stone looked in all directions. There was no sign of Star anywhere.
“Pssst… down here…”
Stone searched for the voice, but failed to find its source. For a few
moments, he just stood there in bewilderment.
“Down here, you grey moron! Hey!”
“Yes?”
“This is your second task, and you will be choosing the next one as
well. The tasks will have to be those that release the veil over your
code, your key to magic, so choose well.”
Stone turned his attention to his right as they shuffled forward into the
tunnel. The light from Star’s body illuminated the tunnel so brilliantly,
that Stone almost forgot that they were a few feet underground.
A few moments later Star stopped abruptly.
“Here it is,” she said with a note of satisfaction in her voice.
Stone crouched low above the ground.
“Where are you? I can’t see you!” he shouted.
Stone could see a circle with a dot at its center carved into the wall.
“What is this?”
Suddenly his eye caught sight of an opening amid the bushes. He could
see Star peeping out through a hole. She gestured for him to enter it
before disappearing into the darkness. Cautiously, he crawled inside.
He could see Star slightly ahead of him. In the dark, the surface of her
Star soundlessly blew on the circle. Before he could even blink, Stone
felt as if he was shrinking—he was being sucked forward into a violent
tornado. The humidity of the tornado was overpowering and moved
upward with great force before zig-zagging in a million different directions
44 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW MEMORIES
45

efore shuddering to a halt. It was a few minutes before Stone opened his
eyes. His vision was fogged by the whirling cloud that surrounded him.
“I’d really like my vision back,” he thought to himself.
Immediately, the whirling envelope opened and he was thrust out of the
tornado. He found himself sprawled on the ground, his body twisted
awkwardly with the impact of the push.
Propping himself up with some difficulty, he looked for Star.
“Where is that twerpy know-it-all… crystalline… angel?” he
muttered to himself.
He pulled himself into an upright position and to his great surprise, he
found Star sitting close, next to him.
“Whyyy do you have to do that? You are almost always appearing
and disappearing with no prior warning. Where are we? What is
happening?”
“This is the Plane of Delinquent Conclusions—an energetic field
where thoughts become reality almost instantaneously. Old and
unwanted conclusions can be discarded forever. So one should be
careful about what one thinks here,” Star said with a wink.
strangers will be separated from the authentic bits of your destiny.
It is easier to do this here than in other planes. Once out of this
field, your life will be exactly as it used to be, except…” Star paused,
“except the experience of it. You take back the learning, that is all.”
There was a small silence between them as Stone weighed the meaning
of her words. He was beginning to have a very ominous feeling about the
experience. This felt strange, unreal. His mind was drawing a complete
blank. He felt a little faint, but shook his head to clear his mind. Stone
straightened himself and walked to the center of the room. He could feel
Star’s eyes on him. He took a deep breath and allowed his mind to relax.
Involuntarily, an image of his wife drifted into his consciousness. His breath
shook slightly. He could almost feel her presence beside him. His body
slumped, as if deflated of all life. How he longed for their days together. The
air grew warmer and very very still. Out of nowhere, Coral appeared before
him, as real as can be imagined. He touched her face lightly and smiled.
“Come back,” he said softly, “Life misses you.” His heart ached as
he realized that this moment would be gone in a few minutes.
“You can enjoy them here, but you can’t take them back…” Star’s
words echoed in his ears, but resounded closer to his heart.
“Soooo, why are we here again?”
“Well, in this plane, the deepest unresolved hurts surface very
quickly. Every hurt has a stranger hidden inside. A stranger that
does not belong to your destiny. In this plane, one or even more
Coral simply smiled back at him. She leaned toward him and
whispered, “There could be someone else waiting for you… let me
go. I’m among loved ones and you should be too.”
Stone stepped back slowly. The ache in his heart was getting stronger.
46 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW MEMORIES
47

She looked happy.
“Did she ask me to let go? Let go of what we had? I find this hard
to believe! She D-O-E-S-N’T need me anymore!”
Coral smiled, as if she could read his thoughts.
“There are many good things waiting for you. You must walk
toward them, don’t push them away… I love you,” her voice faded,
as did she. The spaces between them grew rare and thin
He looked into the fading eyes of his wife. In the ephemeral glint of his
former half-soul he saw a mirage. A dark shape. Charred. Black as failing
hope. Piercing as the sting of dying love. Even as he watched, the vaguely
raven shaped darkness separated from Coral. Stone looked down at his
form to see a dark swirl leaving his body. An underlying sheen of a lighter
grey appeared in patches, though not completely. Ragged scratch-like
marks of blue had begun to appear on the rest of the body.
“Wait! Where are you goi…” he reached out into the empty space,
but she was gone.
wish to, we can leave and you can go back to the mountaintop. I will
be happy to support you either way,” said Star.
Stone took a few deep breaths before answering.
“You know I will not turn back. But I need to understand what
just happened,” his words escaped through gritted teeth, though
only barely.
Star nodded.
“When one enters an altered plane of any kind, especially one
designed to heal, one can access information with an alternate truth.
The transaction no longer takes place at a material or sequential
level, but purely at the level of conception. Potential is conceived,
while form follows. In this plane, time and space verve with vitality,
they are flexible, motile, malleable to the sensitive fingers of
possibility and perfection. Consequences are the skilled sequences
of possibility, waiting only for a flicker of permission to manifest in
the physical reality of the world. Coral was a consequence of your
need and needs chang. Consequences change.”
Stone turned angrily to face Star. When anger is sudden, it strikes harder.
“Make her come back!” he demanded in anguish, “I know you have
everything to do with this, so make her come back this instant.”
Stone nodded before replying.
“Is this true only of this plane or… or is the natural order of the
world built similarly?”
Stone’s voice now resounded as a roar. Star calmly stared back at him.
“You knew that this was temporary, we both knew this would end.
You have chosen this journey, you asked for clarity, now you must
have the grit to face the truths you demanded to know. If you still
Star raised an eyebrow playfully.
“That is an inference… your intuitive capacities have led to this
inference. If your logical abilities were contemplating this question,
the answers would have been very different.”
48 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW MEMORIES
49

“But how can there be two truths? While I know that every person
has their relative set of beliefs that constitutes their truth, there
must be objective truths too!” exclaimed Stone, later surprised
that his voice rang through the air so loudly.
“If a relative truth is investigated carefully, it will lead to an
objective truth. The participants of the event may take different
routes to that same truth. The path and perspective, my dear
friend, is relative—that truth is relative,” answered Star.
truth was coloured by the painful regrets from the past and you
were unable to accept her truth, which, I may add, was as rational
as your truth. Relationships are the heart of the soul, they keep
the other bits of life flushed with vivacity. Even the relationship
with a past”
“So, what are you trying to say? We should be accepting of all
relative truths floating about? How is that even possible?” Stone’s
voice shook with exasperation.
“What if your relative truth is harmful to another or even to your
own self?” questioned Stone.
“It is tempting for me to answer this, but it won’t be convincing if
it comes from anyone other than you. This is a question that you
need to answer for yourself,” replied Star.
“Well, I know that I would accept someone’s relative truth if it
was that important to them! I know I would! And what if others
don’t respond in the same way towards me?” exclaimed Stone.
“Well, well, look at all the hot air stuffed up your head! What of Coral
and her message? You were completely un-accepting of her truth!”
Stone opened his mouth to speak, but closed it quickly without saying
anything. Star continued,
“You acted differently because something within you had not
resolved completely. The trauma had not healed entirely. Your
“A relative truth is not unlike watching the sky through a tunnel.
The immenseness of the sky turns into a fragmented oval of
experience. Its openness is empty of depth and its infinity
surrenders to the unconscious boundaries of darkness,” said Star.
“How can I experience joy or love or infinity when the closest
person in my life has died? I will be pretending if I say I’m
experiencing completeness! I’m not! I…”
Star gently placed her hand on his shoulder.
“The worth of a relationship is in the richness of its compatibility.
A period of grieving is natural, it must happen.”
“Why should I believe you?”
“Because my beliefs are based on an assumption that you are
progressing beautifully, even in the apparent failures and losses.
Your reality is based on an assumption that there is not enough of
50 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW MEMORIES
51

anything that you want. Both could be true. You could choose.”
“So what do you want me to do now?”
“I want nothing. This was an experience. The interpretation of this
experience and the impact it has on your life is yours to design.”
“I want to leave. Was this my second task?”
“Yes”
“Alright, let’s begin with the third.” Unnoticed by Stone and his
mentor, the dark raven-shaped blackness followed them, quiet,
stealthy, angry .
CHAPTER 04

T hey were now standing before a large mountain with widely-spread
bouldered limbs that gave an impression of a magnanimous monarch
ruling over his kingdom. The top of the mountain disappeared into the
sky, while the sides curved round the horizon on either side. The air was
crisp and carried faint whiffs of freshly cut pines.
The student and mentor stood there looking at the mountain in silence
for a while before Star spoke.

“You chose to witness magic. It’s not an easy task. Be ready for
miracles and tragedies. I believe an important part of you is within
this mountain, a fragment that you know little about.” She looked
at him with a smile. “Within this mountain lies the last stairway to
your quest. Tikyun had the foresight to know that one could learn
and retrieve the magic of the Blue Marble – then she discovered you
and saw her vision fulfilled. She saw the beauty of the blue when all
you saw was the greyness of non-recognition. She caught sight of the
most perfect, unblemished version of you. It may be time, dear Stone
to discover if the wholeness of the Blue Marble must be restored. It
is only the strength of your Heart-Energy Quotient that brings you
to such proximity to this threshold. You may realize that it is similar
to you, but in a way that you will recognize as deeply magical. In
moments of doubt, consider it a partial mould, a template of the
most flawless version of yourself. It contains the answers that you
have sought all your life. The moment you unite with this marble the
code that we seek will be unlocked. May the best choices await you.”
Stone nodded. Somehow he felt more determined than ever to accomplish
this task. His commitment had shifted gears. He could now see that all his
realities were a fiction of his making. If this marble brought through a reality
flooded with restored choices, his quest was complete. Star looked at his
posture with unexpressed pride. If time were to be measured in milestones
of meaning, Stone may have crossed centuries very quickly. She gave him
his next set of instructions with the quiet pride of a confident teacher.
Where lies your intent, therein lies your path,
Where lies your path, therein lies your peace.”
Stone walked toward the base of the mountain. He crouched low and
entered the mountain through a small opening a little above the base. He
had to stretch considerably in order to haul his body into the opening, but
he felt lighter than he had in years. The insides of the mountain were dark,
old and gnarled. Cautiously, he looked for any hint of the Blue Marble.
Straight ahead, amid the dimness, he saw a faint glow. He walked toward
the glow slowly and squinted to see clearly. The blaze then grew larger until
it towered above him overwhelmingly. It seemed to originate from behind
a gnarled brown root, shaped like a thick, rough talon not far from him.
Stone tried to get closer to the root, but couldn’t. He could feel an invisible
shield keeping him from going further. He looked about him for any sign of
life. There was none. The aloneness of his situation began to sink in. There
was no Star to lead him through this. He swallowed nervously.
“I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid, I won’t be afraid,” he chanted
to himself under his breath.
In a burst of force, a dark raven swooped down toward him, tackling
him top first onto the ground. He was pinned to the hard floor, staring in
astonishment at his marauder. The sharp-edged threat of attack glinted
off the raven’s beak, which was dangerously close to Stone’s eye blocking
out all vision from that eye.
“You will receive help once you are inside the mountain, but at
times you will be on your own. The only advice I can give you is this:
The raven shifted its weight slightly, gaining a firmer hold of Stone’s
torso with one spiky talon. The movement revealed a sight that would
56 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW THE BLUE MARBLE
57

have frozen Death herself. From the chest cavity protruded half a heart,
with pulsing black veins throbbing erratically. Stone felt the thud of
the thumping close to his face. The stench it emitted was profoundly
putrid, like the burning of fresh flesh. Stone found himself overwhelmed
by the force of the talons and the decadent black heart. He was losing
consciousness. He forced himself to think of Star, of her advice at a time
like this. The raven lifted one wing slightly before bringing her beak
perilously close to Stone’s eye in a quick jerk. Stone forced his eyes shut.
In the brief flash of a moment before his eyes closed, his mind registered
something that his vision may have missed - a circular mark under the left
wing of the raven, with a tiny dot at its center. The familiarity of the mark
was not lost on Stone. It was the mark that Star had activated before
entering the Plane of Delinquent Conclusions. His mind was beginning to
find resort in blankness, all thoughts dribbling away under the crushing
force of the talons of the black-hearted raven.
Even as Stone vaguely felt his neck snap lifelessly to the side, the
pressure on his body released itself partially. Stone’s form shifted, his
body arranging itself almost automatically to a more natural position.
He sighed in deep relief as the weight lifted completely off of him. Still
limp, he forced his eyes open, only half conscious. A green train of
muscular wedges half-slithered, half crawled over the blackened heart
of his attacker. This raven was incensed. It cawed in agony, fighting off
the green creature with one wing. Still lying limply on his back, Stone
noticed that the raven had only wing. A gaping hole of dried purple
flesh flashed past Stone as the struggled continued. No wing. Stone
hurled his shoulder into the purple cavity as it loomed close to him.
The raven squawked painfully. The green slithering train of muscle
slipped off of the chest of the raven, as the bird flew jerkily away and
upward with its solitary wing.
Stone sat up, looking beside him at the green stranger. Clearly, it was a
caterpillar, but an extraordinary one. The wounds on its body were now
oozing with droplets of dense fluid. Each wound grew smaller and eventually
disappeared as the fluid slid over them. Stone couldn’t help but stare.
“I’m Nima. That was a difficult battle you were fighting there. Un-
Certainty almost had you done for. Be warned, she will return. She
has a keen sense for qualities like vitality and purpose – those that
thrive on these elements threaten her very existence.”
“Why so? Who is she?” asked Stone weakly.
“Un-Certainty was a beautiful young woman, almost a child really,
but one that wanted more than she could accomplish. Her quest has
been, for a long time, to seek freedom. Complete and utter freedom
from pain and suffering. In her mission, however, she misused the
Plane of Delinquent Conclusions. She was poisoned, ironically by
her own past self… in the Plane of Delinquent Conclusions– it is…”
“I know what it is,” said Stone, “How was she poisoned?”
“She was unable to release the traumatic fragments of her past. She
tried to capture and control her past selves, so that they would work
for her. Each self is a fragment of her past. She refused to release them
completely. She only allowed the pain to be dismembered from her
58 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW THE BLUE MARBLE
59

memory, but the wounds remain unhealed. She denied herself the
acceptance of being whole again, to be really and deeply healed.
She uses these past selves to armour herself from the negativity of
the future. She believes she can evade pain and suffering forever,
having formed an armed panoply of past personalities. There was
a terrible struggle, as these past selves rightfully sought liberty
once released. One got away, but ten selves still remain within her
horrifying soul. Her physical appearance was transformed into the
blackness of a scheming raven by the wounds inflicted by the past
self that escaped. An injury from a past dismembered is far more
poisonous than the collective sting of the snakes of the world.”
promotes a complete release of the sickness within her past
selves. And you seem to be one of them,” replied the green friend.
“What was that mark under her wing? I’ve seen it before!”
asked Stone.
“It’s a mark from the Plane of Delinquent Conclusions, where
she lived for a long time. The world was safe from her wrath and
dismembered hatred while she lived there. However, something
seems to have set her free…for now.” There was a grim note in
Nima’s voice.
“How do they function? These past selves?” asked Stone.
“They’re disjointed entities but still living within her, identical in
appearance except for minor marks that set them apart. They
carry the strength and memory of parts of her life, but they lack
the wisdom. Life brings with it suffering – when the wisdom of life
is overwhelmed by a glorification of pain or suffering, growth loses
its momentum. Pain had a deeper impact on her than wisdom
ever could,” said the caterpillar.
Stone realized he was immersed in conversation with a stranger, one
that may have saved his life, but a stranger nevertheless.
“I’m Stone, I’m here in the pursuit of a personal matter. Thank
you, for helping me! I haven’t even thanked you yet!” he said,
embarrassed at his own relentless questioning.
“This may surprise you, but Star and I were at the same school.
She majored in Compassion Studies, while I was a researcher in
Transformation and Metamorphosis,” she said.
“Why, then should I be attacked?” asked Stone, still a little sore
from his scuffle.
“Are you a celestial being as well?” asked Stone, wondering at the
irony of Nima’s research goals.
“You bring with you an impetus for growth, for authentic purpose.
You have allowed healing to reach your heart inspite of yourself.
The raven will find her defenses weakened by any force that
“No, I was one of the very few anthropods that even applied to
the school,” Nima explained. “But that can make for a great story
on a later day,” she added, seeing Stone’s furrow crease with
60 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW THE BLUE MARBLE
61

interest. “You should know that Un-Certainty will stop at nothing
to destroy your quest. Her heart is as blind as her vision is keen.
She seeks to obliterate any wisp of purpose, joy or insight. I see
her as a force that stands against everything that Star wants
to see renewed. The raven does not discriminate in her wake
of destruction - only weakness and loathing survive. She can
transform you into an ore that can do little but spread loathing
to any being and situation – a loathing that will destroy you more
quickly than if all the compassion of this world were on your side.”
“Or someone?” asked Stone sharply, “Was it Un-Certainty? The
Blue Marble would have helped retrieve healing secrets for
certain disorders. Maybe our bitter friend wanted to destroy any
possibility of this.”
“I greatly doubt that. The Blue Marble has been here for decades
and our bitter friend, as you call her has never attempted to
damage it in the past,” Nima replied, “I don’t know what caused it,
Stone. I’m sorry.”
Stone could feel a tension mounting in the muscles of his now recovered torso.
“Do you recommend a mode of operation? I’m here to seek what
has been known as the Blue Marble, or at least one half of it,” he
said rubbing his now freezing shoulders.
Stone’s thoughts whirled like a tornado unable to settle on a direction .
Nima looked grave.
“I’ve seen the Blue Marble. I believe it was here for several decades.”
“Was?” asked Stone with growing trepidation.
Nima sighed wearily and walked to a small mound of earth. She sat down
and reached for a berry from a small pile that lay fallen on the ground.
She gestured to Stone to join her on the mound beside her.
“The Blue Marble was destroyed a few days ago. We don’t
know what caused it, maybe a change in the temperature of
the mountain or something else may have…” she was cut off in
mid-sentence by Stone.
62 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW THE BLUE MARBLE
63

CHAPTER 05

N ima looked carefully at the partly-blue-partly-grey figure before
her. A miniscule sliver of light bounced off a spot on Stone’s wrist.
“Uh, Stone? May I take a look at your wrist? There is something
glistening off your skin,” said Nima, squinting at the shiny spot.
Stone raised his wrist to examine it closely. There was, in fact a miniscule
patch that was gleaming. It was on that part of his skin that was a deep

lue. Rubbing his fingers against it, Stone realized it was hardened and
smooth compared to the surrounding skin.
of blue lay now unconcealed on the surface of his body. He looked up to
see Nima beaming, surprised but beaming.
“What could this be?” he muttered to himself.
Nima held his wrist with her frontal arms.
“This is a focal screen, Stone. I’ve seen this only too often.
This means that your body, your psyche and your ancestrally
programmed make-up have changed dramatically. Your system is
stronger, more resilient and more immune to dangers that could
have destroyed you completely before now. It …”
Nima cried out in pain as Un-Certainty swooped down over them and
clawed at her body wrathfully. Stone threw himself between Nima
and the raven, but not quite in time. Un-Certainty’s talons dug fiercely
into Nima’s beautiful body, creating deep oozing wounds. Even as the
wounds began to close under the influence of Nima’s body fluids, Un-
Certainty jabbed angry pincer like claws into the tears. Stone’s wrist
accidentally crashed into Un-Certainty’s protruding heart. The focal
screen connected with the black flesh and the heart erupted forcefully,
throwing Nima and Stone backwards. Un-Certainty cried in anguish, her
mangled groans growing softer as her body collapsed onto the floor.
Dark pulp oozed out mixed with particles of bone and tissue.
Her eyes conveyed terror and disbelief just before they closed lifelessly
in their sockets. Stone looked down at the focal screen. It was still there,
unharmed, unblemished. He stared down at his body in amazement –
flecks peeled off this body. Falling, grey, unneeded. Resplendent patches
Within a few moments, Stone’s entire body was a brilliant blue.
“Wha... what is happening, Nima? I wish Star was here!”
exclaimed Stone.
“You always were a part of the Blue Marble, Stone. Now you see
it too!” said Nima with a smile.
Stone’s expression changed suddenly.
“Is there any possibility that even a shard of the rest of the marble
remains behind? Maybe even a small piece could unlock the
code,” he asked Nima, “I saw a distinct glow when I entered the
mountain. It was behind a large root. When I tried to get closer,
it was as if I was held back by an invisible force, a shield of some
kind. What was that? Was that the original location of the rest of
the Blue Marble?” he asked excitedly.
“This mountain has held many important secrets, each defended
and protected in its own unique way. If we want to find remains
of the Blue Marble, we must find that glow. At the very least, it’s
a good place to start. If that truly is the seat of the destroyed
crystal, we may find remnants and your quest, my friend, shall be
complete . ”
68 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW THE FOCAL SCREEN
69

CHAPTER 06

S tone and Nima now stood before the glow. There was, in fact, a
distinct shield that stopped them from proceeding toward the glowing
root, or whatever was behind it. As he forced his body to move against
the force of the invisible shield and toward the glimmering light, Stone
collapsed into a lifeless sleep. His body began to throb with pain and
his skin felt like hot coals. He could feel his limbs shudder with anxiety.
Images swirled before his eyes. There was a vision of his brother, looking
terrified and small, standing by the river-bed looking up at him. Stone

felt himself rising higher and higher, as if he was being pulled upward by
an invisible force. His mind felt confused and he found himself staring at
a dark abyss below him.
“I’m going to die!” his terrified mind cried. “I want to live!” he
thought in panic. “Please! Whoever it is that is listening to me…
I WANT TO LIVE!’
The weakness began to leave his body. His breath became deeper and
steadier with every passing moment. His fists began to tighten and
strength returned to his limbs. He kicked his feet into the air, struggling
within the tightness he was feeling. After a while, his felt the tightness
loosen and suddenly he was falling. It felt as if it was happening very
very slowly, as if time had slowed down. After what felt like an eternity,
he tumbled onto a soft surface. His eyes opened with a jerk. There was
a dark silence around him. The surroundings had dimmed into a series
of overlapping shadows.
“Stone? Can you hear me?” Nima sounded a little anxious.
Stone swallowed slowly. His mouth was too dry to speak. Nima wondered
silently if stone was so addicted to his quest that it was beyond his
conscious control.
“Yes… I’m fine,” he croaked. “What happened? Why did I see that
vision again?” wondered Stone in his mind.
memory. I was watching the entire scene with you. You were so
frightened and scared that all you wanted to do was end your
own life. Fright, fear, anger, grief, disappointment or any extreme
emotion can do that to a soul. It can make them wish they were
dying or dead and their body begins to respect the commands
of the anguished mind. It begins to ail, become weak or frail,
produce symptoms of illness and the will to live deteriorates.
When you chose to live, your energetics were altered into a will
to live. Your body obeyed your mind and reality shifted.”
They sat together in silence. Quietly, they watched as the shield changed
colours. It’s former colourlessness had changed to light shades of pink
and purple. It was, however, still resistant to incursion of any kind.
“Maybe I’m simply not ready to know my own magic,” said Stone.
Nima shook her head before she spoke,
“I have spoken to millions of souls at this juncture of their journey
to wholeness. You are one of the very few who knows when he is
ready for the next step. What is your doubt?”
Stone laughed with embarrassment.
“It’s silly, really. I know in the pit of my stomach if a particular
event is right for me. Right now, I just don’t feel that. I feel like
there is one more step before I can get there… and I don’t know
what that step is, do you know how that feels?”
“There must have been some residual emotional charge to that
Nima nodded,
74 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW ONLY CALM
75

“Yes, I do.”
They lapsed once more into silence. It was Stone who spoke first this time.
“What has your life been like? How old are you? Do you even age?”
Nima smiled slightly,
“We are as old as Creation itself. Star, myself and the others who
help beings further their journey – we are all very old, we come
from another time. No one really completes their journey in the
truest sense, as the next journey commences as soon as the
preceding one concludes… and one moves on.”
lives of those whom they loved remains; their imprints remain in
the hearts of their loved ones, in their energy fields. The good
always remains.”
Stone cleared his throat.
“Can I ask you a question?”
Nima nodded,
“Sure.”
“Why am I so afraid to find the Blue Marble?”
“In that case, is Death real? Does one not die at some point?”
asked Stone.
“A part of you dies. Your body is the most visible, most tangible part
of you. Yes, that may ‘die’ as you call it… but the soul never does. It
moves on to the next leg of its voyage. Sometimes, this movement
is not visible to our perception and so it feels as if that individual
had ‘died’. Your deeds, your aspirations remain as energy-bodies in
the Universe, ready to help those who are in need of them. In that
sense, no one ever ‘dies’.” Nima’s voice had grown softer.
Nima broke into a grin.
“Because there is nothing else you want more. Hence, it’s safer
to shun rather than embrace the process. Also, knowing yourself
so completely has been unknown to you and one sometimes
avoids the unknown.”
Stone glanced at Nima with irritation. That was hardly what he
wanted to hear.
“I don’t agree with you,” he replied quietly.
“Then why is everyone so afraid of Death?”
“I think it’s because the individual disappears from the physical
world; he or she is no longer accessible in the ‘usual’ way. However,
their contribution to the world remains; their contribution to the
Nima nodded in agreement.
“I know that. There are two more stops we need to make before
you begin to agree with me.”
Nima was worried for star. If Star chose to use any chunk of Stone’s
76 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW ONLY CALM
77

crust, the goodness of her past, every single virtue (and so many of
them) would be erased from time and collective memory. Stone was
well on his way to success but what about his mentor? .
CHAPTER 07

S tone felt a familiar sense of foreboding as he walked beside Nima to their
next destination. It reminded him of the walk to the Plane of Delinquent
Conclusions with Star. They were walking along a narrow corridor, with
dark walls on both sides. Nima turned toward him and motioned to her
right. There was a narrow opening in the wall, almost imperceptible. Stone
may never have noticed it had Nima not pointed toward it.
The two companions entered the opening with measured steps. The

passageway was dark and the stony walls rubbed brazenly against
Stone’s shoulders. The walk was exhausting and long. After several
moments of walking, Nima motioned for them to stop. She then
contorted herself so that her body was oriented towards the sky. It
was a graceful, unintereupted movement, almost as if fashioned by a
force larger than her will. Stone stared at this strange movement; even
as he watched, Nima muttered a strange incantation under her breath
and swayed slightly. Stone turned to look upward. To his greatest shock,
he found himself looking at a magnificent mirror of great dimensions.
It sparkled splendidly, giving an impression of stretching to all the
parts of the Universe. Stone was speechless. The walls on both sides
collapsed instantaneously and the mirror enveloped them on all sides.
As he looked in wonder at his feet, he could see the surface of the mirror
close beneath him. The two ends of the semicircular mirrors clicked into
unison, completing the sphere around him.
For a few moments, there was complete silence. Stone’s heart thumped
wildly inside him. The silence was unnerving. Suddenly there was a loud
bang and the mirror around him erupted into a million images. Each image
was of a moment of his life. Stone recognized most scenes, but there
were many that looked unfamiliar even though he was in all of them. He
wondered if they were scenes he had forgotten, but as moments passed,
he realized that some were moments and images of his thoughts, his
life as he had fantasized on occasion. Every moment, every thought,
every emotion he had ever experienced flashed on the screen, blinking
on the gigantic mirror before him. His mind was completely befuddled,
images and emotions overwhelming his very soul. Although he couldn’t
believe that it could happen, his mind was racing through the memories,
processing each one all over again, all at the same time! He could almost
feel his head beeping and blurping with charge as it whizzed through
the myriad of experiences from his life. He tried to observe everything
that was happening to him, but it was impossible. Slowly, the images
began to blur and condense into a swirling mass. The mass disappeared
fuzzily into the darkness. As it faded, Stone felt a growing pain in his
chest. The pain intensified with every second. He cried out in anguish.
It seemed as if all the pain he had ever experienced in his lifetime had
been compressed into a tiny speck in his heart. It was no bigger than
a pin-prick, but the pain was unbearable. Tears rolled down his cheeks
and he cried like never before. His wails grew louder and louder, cutting
through the mirrored globe into the skies and the wind. His entire body
throbbed with anxiety, fear, emotional pain and hatred. Every painful
emotion he ever experienced tormented his insides until he could
breathe no more. The pain escalated threateningly and then suddenly
ceased. Stone collapsed limply on the floor. A gentle calm settled over
him. His heartbeat grew strong and robust. He could feel fresh blood
pumping through his body. There was a renewed vigour in his muscles
and his breath grew deeper. A deep sleep enveloped his senses.
“So many choices… there is much to do…” he smiled to himself as
he slipped into a bottomless slumber.
Even as his mind slipped and slid through awareness, he remembered
Star. A fraction of a moment between their tasks, his tasks, a nanomovement
of sadness flashed through her eyes. If he could recognise
misguided anguish after so many years on the mountain top with B-F-T-T,
he could well admit to seeing (and ignoring) the signs of this in Star.
82 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW THE GLOBE
83

Anguish for a loved one – the most pure of earthly motivation.
“She is on a quest as well,” he realized in dizziness, “and I will help
her when she asks for it . ”
CHAPTER 08

S tone stirred slightly in his sleep. His eyelids flickered momentarily. He
was amid a confusing dream. He found himself standing in a plane of blue.
What was strange was that he was surrounded by interweaving orbits of
blue lights. The mesh of blinking orbits encircled his body in a way that the
pulsating lines of blue were intertwined around each other as well as within
his physical form. He raised a finger to touch an orbit. His finger went right
through the energy lines. Stone felt his finger pulsate as it passed through
the orbit. As he withdrew, his finger shone momentarily. A ripple of power

surged through his body briefly and settled into a sense of mild pressure
between his eyebrows. A moment later, the orbits began to revolve slowly
about him. The momentum grew and the revolutions gained intensity. The
mesh of orbits turned at a faster pace, intersecting one another, exchanging
charges, merging into each other and then separating. A soft, bright light
enveloped the entire scene. Stone began to feel a deep calm within himself.
The soft voice of Star resounded in his mind.
“These energy lines represent your Higher Will. They represent
every single time that you have chosen to act from your highest
consciousness. You can see the power within them – these will remain
with you forever and protect you from the effects of actions from
others, especially those that are acting from a lesser consciousness.
Respect these energy lines and hold them close. They are yours.”
Stone smiled. It was good to hear from Star after all this while. When he
started to reply to Star, strangely it felt as if someone else was speaking
through him.
“Why need I face these hardships? There have been difficulties
beyond my capacity and will... that hardly feels fair. Life has just
been so difficult. Why?”
Star’s voice came through with complete clarity.
“Why do you ask this question now? Especially when you had so
many opportunities to do so before?”
Stone spoke with dry irony,
“Well, you clearly speak of all the ‘right’ or ‘good’ decisions and
choices I’ve made in my life. These lines of energy are so pure
and powerful, I can see I’ve acted from a higher consciousness
for most of my life, but… at that moment, it often felt wrong. The
consequences often felt like a punishment, even if the action was
appropriate. And so… I must ask.”
“One often needs an opportunity to meet the best or highest part
of his consciousness within him. When trials come along, this
opportunity appears. Trials are opportunities, no more, no less.
They help you embody your finest self.”
“So why am I here? Why have you brought me to this juncture?
Where do we go now?” asked Stone.
The ground below Stone began to vibrate violently. Stone found himself
falling downward... falling... but there was no fear, only calm. Stone awoke
with a start. He propped himself groggily on his mossy bed. Stone hastily
looked down at his body. He was still seven and of a crystalline blue!
He yawned widely and stepped out of his soft green bed into the moonlight.
There was a full moon, luminously shining over the valley-side. He playfully
kicked a ball of mud out of the way. The ball rolled forward a few inches and
then began to roll towards him and then past him on the downhill slope.
Stone turned to watch it roll away. He was just turning back to walk to his
bed when the strangest thing caught his eye. He blinked and turned again.
There, in the bright moonlight on the grassy slope was his shadow. The
shadow was elongated and dark. Near the head of the shadow, where its
head should have ended, was nothing but the shadow of a small star .
88 THE STONE AND THE SHADOW A SHADOW
89

Star: “The fundamental question is, ‘Do you believe in magic?’ ”
Stone: “Where is this magic?”
Star: “In you.”

OUTSIDE THE PAGES
GLIMPSES FROM THE
ART BOARD
Where process meets outcome,
Where purpose meets joy,
Where beginnings meet potential,
With choices we toy.
April, May 2015
September, October,
November 2014

“..because alter-egos are wonderful things.”