Parenta Magazine July 2018

Developing friendships
in early childhood
When babies are born, they form an attachment with one or two main caregivers. The first
few months in a child’s life are the most important time in which to form these good quality
attachments. Eye contact, smiles and being held lovingly by adults are incredibly important for
children’s cognitive, social and emotional development. The caregiver provides a strong sense of
safety to the child. Without this affection, there could be long-term negative effects.
Rainbow fish craft
YOU WILL NEED:
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Paint (5 colours of your choice)
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White A4 sheet of card/paper
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Black Sharpie pen
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Celery sticks
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Scissors
Bowlby states: “Affectionless psychopathy
is an inability to show affection or concern
for others. Such individuals act on impulse
with little regard for the consequences of
their actions. For example, showing no guilt
for antisocial behaviour.” This could be one
of the consequences of a baby being denied
affection in those first few months.
Forming strong attachments with primary
caregivers provides a solid foundation for
children to relate to others. As babies grow
and develop, they are able to engage in more
complex interactions. A mother may coo and
speak to her baby and, in return, the baby may
respond with smiles or babbling. These are the
very earliest forms of social interaction.
During the toddler stage of development,
around 18 – 36 months, children enjoy being
near and watching others. However, they
tend to play alongside other children (parallel
play) rather than directly with them. Group
play such as dancing or singing games offers
the opportunity for toddlers to play on their
own or in the company of others. At this age,
toddlers can find playing with other children
stressful, so will like having adult support on
hand. By joining in and being a good role
model, you can show the children how to
behave in social situations like these.
Around the age of 4, children will show more
interest and desire to play with
others. At this
stage, they
are able to
practise
the skills
which will
help them form fulfilling friendships such as
taking turns, sharing, understanding others’
emotions and the ability to express one’s own
feelings and thoughts.
Early bonds of friendship forged with other
children provide a platform to practise social
and communication skills. They are also
useful for developing conflict resolution skills
and empathy. As children get older, they
begin to develop a much wider and more
complex network of relationships with others.
Helping a child who has difficulty joining
in with a group
Whilst some children may find it easy to
approach a group of their peers and be
welcomed to play with them, others may find
this task much more difficult. A shy child may
choose to play alongside the group, hoping
to be invited. Sometimes, all they need to do
is ask to join the group or offer a suggestion
such as “I see you are playing mums and
dads, can I be the baby?”
Some children may have difficulty joining in
with group play if there is a role they want to
do, but are not able to. In these instances, it
can be helpful for you to find a role which will
work for everyone in the group.
If a child is being rejected from group play,
you can help the children involved understand
how everyone else may be feeling. This will
hopefully facilitate making room for
the rejected
child into
group
play.
Helping a child who has disrupted play
If the child has previously disrupted group
play, children may be reluctant to let them
join in with their games again. The child may
not have learnt the delicate social skills of
asking permission to join in, instead pushing
their way into the group without being asked.
Again, in this situation, it can help for you to
intervene.
Initially, you can observe where the process
is going wrong and then give some gentle
coaching or prompts to help the child
integrate into the group. This could involve
working with the child to think about what
they could say to join in. Standing by for
support when that child practices this new
skill when they approach the group can give
the child a boost of confidence. Having an
adult nearby is also much more likely to get
the group to notice and then respond to the
child.
You could also encourage the child to take
part in games involving turn-taking. This will
help the child to understand that some games
have rules to be followed.
Conclusion
There’s no doubt that forming friendships is
a vital part of children’s social and emotional
development. Positive attributes such as selfconfidence
and self-esteem have found to
be linked to having friends. However, it’s not
always easy for children to learn what they
need to do to form lasting friendships.
Making and keeping friends involves
a number of vital skills that, with the
help of an adult caregiver, can be
practised, nurtured and developed
over time.
1. Before starting your craft, trim your celery at the ends and cut them in
half as this will make it easier for children to hold.
2. Using a black Sharpie pen, draw an outline of a rainbow fish.
3. Let children dip the end of a celery stick into their first choice of paint and
stamp the fish – this will make the colours look like scales. Let them be
creative!
4. Using another celery stick, let children choose a different colour to stamp
more scales onto their fish. Repeat with all the colours.
5. Leave the paint on the drawing to dry.
6. Once your fish is completely dry, cut around the outline and hang it
where everyone can see.
Did you
know…
it’s the International Day of
Friendship on 30th July?
The history of the International Day
of Friendship began in 2011. The UN
announced that the day would aim
to promote friendship between
people, helping to build bridges
between communities and
countries.
18 Parenta.com July 2018 19