2017 Summer Kansas Child

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Continued from page 11 No. 2: Expressing Strong Emotions in Non-Hurting Ways Working with children is chaotic! And in that organized chaos great learning happens. But, that organized chaos also includes big emotions, and in early childhood education very few of us work alone. What do you do when your emotions are big? Whether it is a joyful or angry emotion, big emotions are challenging. We can disrupt and offend others with loud laughing and joyful screams just as much as we can with angry yelling or slamming books on a counter. Watch those in your work groups and leadership teams to see how they express emotions. Just like with children, we cannot control how others act, but we can always control how we react. Admit when we are having big emotions. It is OK to say that you are angry, hurt, or ecstatic! It is OK to walk away until you can better express that strong emotion in a non-hurting or non-offensive way. And, when typing that email, text or social media post, wait a minimum of one hour before sending or posting. We need to get our emotions out, but that does not mean that we always need to share those emotions with others. No. 3: Solving Problems Creatively, Independently and in Cooperation with Others Gartrell argues that “to engage in creative problem solving, the individual must withstand the uncertainty of what is to be decided, the urge to leave the task if it gets hard, and often other people’s expectations about how to proceed.” What Gartrell is presenting here is the concept of grit. Some of our oldest, early childhood professionals were raised by parents who had survived the Great Depression. They have strong connections to families and yet the ability to “not sweat the small stuff.” They come, they work, and they do it all over again the next day. Generation X hit the workforce as the Internet burst onto the scene and thus learned quickly to adapt to change. Millenials experienced 9/11 as children and young adults. They saw families crushed in the financial crisis and have become hyper-connected. Generation Z is pulling back on social media, but sees technology as a resource. They are often looking for more meaningful careers or goals rather than financial stability or impressive resumes. Each of these perspectives and stereotypes acknowledges a different type of grit as it relates to problem-solving. How do you empower others to engage in solving problems? Just as with children, we sometimes want to just do it for them! It can be quicker and less painful … for us. But, empowerment leads to a better solution. In our jobs, how do we open problems up for solutions? How we do open ourselves and our challenges up to collaborative problem-solving that includes searching for the underlying reasons and identifying the potential avenues to solution? Open yourself up. Ask questions. And utilize that powerful grit. No. 4: Accepting Unique Human Qualities in Others As a Kansan, I paused when I came across Megan Phelps-Roper’s TED talk a few months ago. She keenly notes, “… we celebrate tolerance and diversity more than at any other time in memory, and still we grow more and more divided. We want good things — justice, equality, freedom, dignity, prosperity — but … we’ve broken the world into us and them, only emerging from our bunkers long enough to lob rhetorical grenades at the other camp.” She goes on to encourage all of us to talk and to listen to people with whom we disagree. She lays out four steps that fit nicely with Gartrell’s fourth democratic life skill. Do not assume bad intent. When we assume that people are coming from good intentions then we offer a stronger foundation for solution. Ask questions. Instead of jumping into assumptions, stereotypes, or our own thoughts, seek more information from others. Stay calm. Remember your big emotions and breathe. No matter what you hear or see, take it in as if you are collecting data. And lastly, make the argument. Do not assume that others understand your intentions or reasoning. Instead, lay these out respectfully and calmly. When we communicate appropriately with each other, not only are our thoughts heard and valued, but we demonstrate a value and respect for others that is immeasurable. 12 Kansas Child A Publication of Child Care Aware ® of Kansas
SELF-CARE as an Essential Part of Leadership By Ladan Soleimani, Executive Director, Women’s Fresh Start Project “Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others, as what he does from day to day to lead himself.” — Thomas J. Watson No. 5: Think Intelligently and Ethically The National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) offers us a code of ethical conduct. But in order for us to honor this code, one of the first steps we have to take is to understand our own values and seek to understand the values of others. We also must be aware of how our values affect the abilities of our co-workers to think intelligently and ethically. In the NAEYC resource guide, we are challenged to acknowledge that our values alone “are not sufficient to guide [our] actions in a professional setting” (Feeney, Freeman & Moravcik, 2016). We must remember the goals of our professional setting, whether we work in a center or we are a family child care provider. For more information on this, seek professional development opportunities to further your understanding of NAEYC’s Code of Ethical Conduct, as well as how to make ethical and moral decisions as a professional. So much of what we do with our young children directly applies to ourselves as well! The challenges are just as daunting and meaningful to our littlest as they are to our oldest. The core behaviors, skills, and strategies that we teach children are no different for us as adults. Instead of seeing the age differences or stereotypes across generations, I challenge you to step through Gartrell’s Democratic Life Skills to refocus and renew your own collaboration and problem-solving skills. n To be a leader and inspiration to others, you must first take care of yourself. Too often in our lives and our search for success and meaning, we put ourselves at the bottom of our priority list. Our physical, mental, and emotional health take a backseat to life’s daily rigors. This is especially true for those in poverty, where each day is a struggle to make ends meet. At the Women’s Fresh Start Project, a nonprofit organization in Lawrence, Kan., that works with women in crisis, we understand that if we truly wish to change our lives or our communities, we must start by looking inward and meeting our own needs. Hannah, a woman in Women’s Fresh Start Project’s employment program, proves every day how essential it is to make yourself a priority. Hannah is a single mom, raising two adorable kids, 2 and 11. She was recently homeless, but is now in a rotational housing program with several other families who sleep in a different location every week. She has no car, and so each day spends an hour walking and more than two hours on the bus just to take her son to day care — a day care she can barely afford even with a full-time job and government assistance. Hannah doesn’t get back from picking up her son until the evening. The rest of her night is spent getting her kids ready for the next day and doing household chores. It’s a grueling schedule that would exhaust most people, but Hannah is full of energy and hope for her and her family’s future. After a lifetime of neglecting her own needs, Hannah has learned the importance of taking care of herself. She gets up 30 minutes early every morning to meditate. She texts her mom and aunt every morning to tell them she loves them and that they’re beautiful. In order to manage the unavoidable stress of her daily life, she attends counseling sessions. Every day she is careful to pack a variety of healthy snacks for her and her kids. Hannah has finally embraced the belief that she matters, and that ensuring that her own needs are met isn’t selfish. She also recognizes that when she is mentally and physically healthy, she is able to be more present with her kids and be a better mom. She strives to lead by example, so that her kids will never doubt their self-worth or hesitate to put themselves on their own priority list. At Women’s Fresh Start Project we hire women who have multiple challenges that prevent them from getting jobs. They might struggle with mental health or substance abuse issues. They might have been homeless or incarcerated. Many are single mothers. We provide stable, supportive employment while also teaching them the life and work skills they need to be successful and change their future. We help them become role models for their families, friends, and communities. You can donate to the project or purchase the handmade bath and body products made by our participants by visiting womensfreshstartproject.org n www.ks.childcareaware.org Kansas Child 13
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2017 Summer Kansas Child

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