Todd Tucker | Family Issue 2018

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Fatherhood is diversely, universally and individually defined, it may mean something different to everyone. It could be culturally different, but in the end, it all boils down to family. That is providing, protecting, teaching, sacrificing, and loving. A. Donahue Baker is an example of fatherhood and what that really means. The Quintessential Gentleman caught up with Baker with his busy schedule and he defined it for himself, “Fatherhood to me means teaching our children the values and life principles necessary to equip the child with skills needed to survive in life.” Fatherhood ties into being a real family man, and according to Baker that is simply, “A man that makes his family a priority. In my home God is first, then my family. You can always tell a real family man by the fruits of his labor.” Baker is an Entrepreneur, CPA, Real Estate Developer, and founding member of the Inner Circle, LLC. As a family and businessman prioritizing is necessary to a balanced lifestyle. It may not always be easy, but finding a way to get it done is the most important. Baker has created a real estate portfolio with over 400 residential units nationwide. He also assists clients in creating that generational wealth for themselves. You can say Baker is a busy man, but not too busy for his wife. When asked how he makes time and makes her feel special he said, “Marriage is daily work. You must find the time. Time invested is like building up equity in a portfolio it gets more valuable as time passes. Thank God I have a woman that is independent and doesn’t need constant affirmations to feel secure and loved. She is such a perfect match for me and the primary reason I am able focus on my mission with passion. I try to connect everyday in some small way with my wife. That could be a romantic text, praying with her and for her, taking her out to dinner, surprising her with a present, making her laugh, or just setting new goals together are some of the ways I make her feel special.” 21 The Quintessential Gentleman | Summer <strong>2018</strong> www.TheQGentleman.com
In life things can be pressing and there are always bigger fish to fry. You may have a to-do-list of several things, and might on accomplish the most important first, which you’d want to attack those and start tackling the “smaller rocks.” Personally, everyone isn’t as organized or some don’t know how to prioritize a to-do-list or even a honey-do-list. For the man that’s having a hard time with a busy lifestyle Baker shared how he does it by suggesting, “I get the big rocks in first. Truly, I believe that to have focus you have to know your priorities. It all starts with knowing what is important. A lot of people make a to do list with 20 things on it. If they cross off 15 of those things they feel pretty good about themselves. I start to tackle my list by asking, what is the one thing on this list that if I complete will be the most significant of the day? Then go from there.” That balance can be difficult for many, and tips from someone who’s knocking those rocks out of the park are in most cases always helpful. A. Donahue gave three most timely tips for every man that may be struggling with a successful work life balance, first also admitting, “I must admit I am not the best example of the work life balance. I am still a work in progress.” I admire his honesty that even in the midst of making it work and finding that balance, he’s still figuring it out. “My 3 tips would be: 1. Set a certain time of the day/week/year for family time or time to relax and recharge. 2. It’s awesome to work hard but understand that we are all human and the human body only can work hard but for so long. Work hard and smart on projects that pay you residual income from a single effort. That’s why I love real estate because I can work hard in the acquisition phase and it pays me for life. I have the time to afford to stop and be 100% in control of my day if I so chose. 3. My final work life balance tip “Get the big rocks in first”. This tip is about time management.” Bottomline is that it can be done, although it may be a challenge. Baker elaborates on the story and what it means to, “get the big rocks in first,” for which he does personally and advises everyone else to. “There is a story about rock, pebbles, and sand. A philosophy professor once stood up before his class with a large empty mayonnaise jar. He filled the jar to the top with large rocks and asked his students if the jar was full. The students said that yes, the jar was indeed full. He then added small pebbles to the jar and gave the jar a bit of a shake, so the pebbles could disperse themselves among the larger rocks. Then he asked again, “Is the jar full now?” The students agreed that the jar was still full. The professor then poured sand into the jar to fill up any remaining empty space. The students then agreed that the jar was completely full. The professor went on to explain that the jar represents everything that is in one’s life. The rocks are equivalent to the most important projects and things you have going on, such as spending time with your family and maintaining proper health. This means that if the pebbles and the sand were lost, the jar would still be full, and your life would still have meaning. The pebbles represent the things in your life that matter, but that you could live without. The pebbles are certainly things that give your life meaning (such as your job, house, hobbies, and friendships), but they are not critical for you to have a meaningful life. These things often come and go and are not permanent or essential to your overall well-being. Finally, the sand represents the remaining filler things in your life, and material possessions. This could be trivial things such as watching television or running errands. These things don’t mean much to your life and are likely only done to waste time or get small tasks accomplished. The metaphor here is that if you start with putting sand www.TheQGentleman.com Summer <strong>2018</strong> | The Quintessential Gentleman 22
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Todd Tucker | Family Issue 2018

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