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Table Talk Study Guide

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Series <strong>Study</strong> <strong>Guide</strong><br />

Leslie B. James


Let the words of my<br />

mouth and the<br />

meditation of my heart<br />

be acceptable in your<br />

sight, O LORD, my rock<br />

and my redeemer.<br />

Psalm 19:14 (ESV)<br />

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PHOTO AND SCRIPTURE<br />

“Be careful with<br />

your words. Once<br />

they are said, they<br />

can be only<br />

forgiven, not<br />

forgotten.”


Leslie B James<br />

TABLE TALK


CONTENTS<br />

UNDERSTANDING YOUR<br />

STUDY GUIDE<br />

GOING DEEPER IN YOUR<br />

SMALL GROUP<br />

SESSION ONE:<br />

MERCY FOR A MESSY TABLE<br />

SESSION TWO:<br />

A MOUTH FULL OF WORDS<br />

SESSION THREE:<br />

YOU ARE WHAT YOU SPEAK<br />

SESSION FOUR:<br />

TASTE BEFORE YOU SERVE<br />

SESSION FIVE:<br />

CHEW BEFORE YOU SWALLOW<br />

SESSION SIX:<br />

PASS THE SALT<br />

1 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


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RESOURCES<br />

TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />

A PRAYER TO TAME MY TONGUE<br />

TABLE TALK SURVEY<br />

TAMING MY TONGUE IN CONFLICT<br />

YOU ARE WHAT YOU SPEAK WORKSHEET<br />

GRATEFUL WORDS<br />

CIRCLES OF LIFE<br />

SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />

HELP FOR HOSTS<br />

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS<br />

SMALL GROUP GUIDELINES<br />

OUR PRAYERS AND PRAISE<br />

SMALL GROUP CALENDAR<br />

SMALL GROUP ROSTER<br />

NOTES<br />

3 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


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UNDERSTANDING<br />

YOUR STUDY GUIDE<br />

Here is a brief explanation of the features of this study guide.<br />

SERMON NOTES<br />

KEY QUESTION<br />

Bring this book to church during the<br />

series campaign. Use these pages to<br />

take notes on the weekly sermon. Fill<br />

in the blanks in the lesson outline as<br />

you listen, and be sure to refer back to<br />

the outline during your discussion<br />

time.<br />

Each week, you will find a question<br />

that allows you to go beyond the<br />

sermon. This question also serves<br />

like the rudder on a boat to steer<br />

your conversations during the week.<br />

KEY VERSE<br />

SMALL GROUP CONNECTION<br />

Being a member of our church family is<br />

much more than attending worship<br />

services. God has hardwired us for<br />

relationships and Biblical community.<br />

Gathering to apply Biblical principles in<br />

Small Groups with people of similar<br />

age, stage of life, or interest connects<br />

us with Christ and each other. Groups<br />

are where we can actually “do life”<br />

t o g e t h e r a s p e o p l e w h o a r e<br />

discovering and pursuing God’s<br />

design. <br />

GROUP CHECK IN<br />

Each week you will find a key Bible<br />

verse for your group to focus<br />

together. If someone in the group<br />

has a different translation, ask them<br />

to read it out loud so the group can<br />

get a bigger picture of the meaning<br />

of the passage.<br />

LET’S MAKE IT HAPPEN<br />

We don’t just want you to be hearers<br />

of the Word, we also need to be<br />

doers of the Word (James 1:22). This<br />

section contains suggestions for<br />

your group and for you to individually<br />

apply the things you are learning.<br />

Begin each group conversation by<br />

briefly discussing a question that will<br />

help focus everyone’s attention on the<br />

subject of the lesson.<br />

5 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


A TIP FOR THE HOST<br />

The study guide material is meant to be your servant, not your master. The point is not<br />

to race through the sessions- the point is to take time to let the Holy Spirit have his way<br />

in your lives. Give your group time to explore the questions and process what they<br />

learned in each session. It is not necessary to “go around the circle” before you move<br />

on to the next question. Let your group know they have the freedom to speak up and<br />

share, but don’t insist. Your group will enjoy deeper, more open sharing and discussion<br />

if there is an atmosphere of acceptance and they don’t feel pressure to speak up. Have<br />

fun!


GOING DEEPER IN<br />

YOUR SMALL<br />

GROUP<br />

Follow these simple steps for a<br />

healthy small group connections:<br />

• It is encouraged to have something<br />

to consume at each connection.<br />

This can be as simple as a snack,<br />

beverage or a potluck meal. You<br />

can use the SMALL GROUP<br />

CALENDAR to take turns or<br />

organize a meal. <br />

• Open your group connection by<br />

using the CHECKING IN section in<br />

this study guide.<br />

• Each week, your group follows a<br />

simple discussion guide which<br />

allows you to (1) Opening<br />

Discussion-Feel (2)Bible<br />

Observation-Think, and (3)<br />

Application-Do.<br />

• Each week you should end with a<br />

prayer for each other but especially<br />

the “open seat.” This seat<br />

represents the neighbor, coworker,<br />

family member and nonbelievers<br />

who are looking for godly<br />

relationships.<br />

7 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


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A Word About Words<br />

Our God is a speaking God. The Bible tells us that the universe was created by<br />

the word of God (Hebrews 11:3) and that he holds it together by the word of his<br />

power (Hebrews 1:3). That means everything we see is a word of God, and many<br />

things we don’t understand, like every angel and demon, every galaxy and quark<br />

in existence. One could rightly say God speaks a lot. And every time He spoke it<br />

was good. In contrast to God, since the fall of man, the human tongue has<br />

always been “a restless evil,” “a world of unrighteousness,” setting whole forests<br />

of humanity on fire (James 3:5–8). <br />

But never before have so many been able to say so much in so many ways.<br />

Satan, the “prince of the power of the air” (Ephesians 2:2), has filled the<br />

airwaves, cyber-waves, print-waves, brainwaves, and every other wave of<br />

human communication with hurtful words. He is the father of lies (John 8:44) and<br />

wields power over the world (1 John 5:19). He is working to exponentially<br />

increase words, and in doing so, to increase the snares of human transgression.<br />

The tornado of words is now a raging Category 5 hurricane. James nails us when<br />

he says, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not<br />

this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1) God knows that we<br />

need to be told this. But it’s not that we don’t already do this. We often admit it<br />

to ourselves in the privacy of our own thoughts. We just have such a difficult time<br />

admitting it to someone else. <br />

How many times following a conflict, once we’re alone, have we felt convicted<br />

over the wrong way we spoke to or treated someone? How many times have we<br />

then fantasized the kind, loving things we wish we would have said, and<br />

rehearsed the forgiveness and reconciliation we wanted? And then how many<br />

times, when it comes to actually saying something to the person, have we found<br />

it suddenly so hard to own up to our sin, and so started softening and qualifying<br />

our apology? Sometimes resurrecting the conflict rather than resolving it. <br />

Let’s be forthright, honest, courageous and humble. Jesus was amazingly blunt<br />

at times. Love sometimes sounds like that. He could have easily been accused<br />

of callousness or lovelessness. But we know he was the most loving person who<br />

ever lived. So let’s follow him in this matter. He died for us so that all the logs<br />

and specks in our eyes may be forgiven. This should give us both courage and<br />

care in communicating with others. Especially when we realize that the faults of<br />

our brothers and sisters have also been forgiven by Jesus. <br />

Serving at the King’s pleasure, <br />

Leslie B. James<br />

9 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Week<br />

One


Sermon Notes<br />

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SESSION ONE<br />

MERCY FOR A<br />

MESSY TABLE<br />

CHECKING IN<br />

Before you begin this study, review the Small Group<br />

<strong>Guide</strong>lines of this study guide. <br />

KEY QUESTION<br />

Can I spot a messy conversation before it happens?<br />

KEY VERSE<br />

"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the<br />

door of my lips!" Psalm 141:3 (ESV)<br />

13 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


SESSION ONE<br />

MERCY FOR A<br />

MESSY TABLE<br />

Consider how God made my lips to be a door to my words, so that no<br />

word may be allowed to go out which may dishonor God, or hurt others.<br />

David didn’t want the same mouth that prayed as incense to be used for<br />

lies or any evil thing. He asked God to keep watch over the door of my<br />

lips so that he would not say evil or foolish things.<br />

First, our God-given ability to communicate makes us unique<br />

in all of _________________________.<br />

•<br />

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let<br />

them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the<br />

heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every<br />

creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” Genesis 1:26 (ESV)<br />

• As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall<br />

be satisfied with your likeness. Psalm 17:15 (ESV)<br />

• then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed<br />

into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.<br />

Genesis 2:7 (ESV)<br />

Second, the first words human ears ever heard came from the<br />

mouth of ___________________________.<br />

• Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and<br />

govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the<br />

animals that scurry along the ground.” Then God said, “Look! I have given<br />

you every seed-bearing plant throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for<br />

your food. And I have given every green plant as food for all the wild<br />

animals, the birds in the sky, and the small animals that scurry along the<br />

ground—everything that has life.” And that is what happened. Genesis<br />

1:28-30 (NLT)<br />

14 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


• The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is full of majesty.<br />

Psalm 29:4 (ESV)<br />

• In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word<br />

was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through<br />

him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. John 1:1–3<br />

(ESV)<br />

Third, sin has radically distorted our ________________________,<br />

resulting in much hurt, confusion and chaos.<br />

• The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit,<br />

and I ate it.” Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?”<br />

“The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” Genesis<br />

3:12-13 (NLT)<br />

• All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that does not lead to death. 1 John<br />

5:17 (ESV)<br />

• for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23 (ESV)<br />

“Raise your words, not<br />

your voice. It is rain<br />

that grows flowers,<br />

not thunder.”<br />

15 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Small Group Connection<br />

Opening Discussion<br />

1. How much did you talk yesterday? Can you remember half of what you<br />

said?<br />

2. Where could your mouth have been more merciful? <br />

3. What does a merciful person look and sound like? <br />

Observation Questions about Psalm 141:3<br />

1. Why was it so important for David to make this request of God?<br />

2. What does the language of David’s prayer reveal about him?<br />

3. How does God answer this prayer? <br />

Summary Discussion<br />

1. Why is it that all of us get into talk trouble? <br />

2. Can you think of a time when words have had a major impact on you or<br />

on those around you? <br />

16 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Let’s Make It<br />

Happen<br />

We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />

Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />

(James 1:22). This section contains<br />

suggestions for your group and for you to<br />

individually apply the things you are<br />

learning.<br />

In Your Group<br />

Praying Together<br />

Turn to Our Prayer and<br />

Praise and write down each<br />

other’s breakthrough prayer<br />

requests. Prayer for those<br />

requests now. <br />

Commit to praying for each<br />

other every day this week.<br />

Let your group know you’ve<br />

prayed for them with a quick<br />

text, call or handwritten note.<br />

Before you begin praying as a group,<br />

share your individual prayer requests<br />

based on what stood out to you as an<br />

area of growth in this group connection.<br />

Now pray as a group. Remember to start<br />

with praise, then make your request to<br />

God.<br />

In Your Life<br />

Take a few minutes between your next<br />

group meeting to take the <strong>Talk</strong> Survey.<br />

17 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Week<br />

Two


Sermon Notes<br />

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SESSION TWO<br />

A MOUTH FULL OF<br />

WORDS<br />

CHECKING IN<br />

Before you begin this study, would anyone like to share their<br />

observations from the <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong> Survey from last week?<br />

KEY QUESTION<br />

Am I making my words count, or just counting my words?<br />

KEY VERSE<br />

""When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but<br />

whoever restrains his lips is prudent." (Proverbs 10:19 ESV)<br />

21 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Session Two<br />

A Mouth Full of Words<br />

Take heed to the warnings of having a mouth full of empty words, so that<br />

we avoid the traps of talking too much. For many people, the more they<br />

talk, the more they will sin. Many of us could bless others and keep<br />

ourselves from sin by merely speaking less and restraining our lips.<br />

Excessive talk opens the door to ___________________________<br />

• For a dream comes with much business, and a fool’s voice with many<br />

words. Ecclesiastes 5:3<br />

• Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold<br />

their tongues.” Proverbs 17:28<br />

• “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.”<br />

Proverbs 21:23<br />

• “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his<br />

lips shall have destruction.” Proverbs 13:3<br />

Excessive talk fuels ___________________________<br />

• “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of<br />

friends.” Proverbs 16:28 NLT<br />

• “A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with<br />

chatterers.” Proverbs 20:19 NLT<br />

• “Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.”<br />

Proverbs 26:20 NLT<br />

22 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Excessive talk is the enemy of ___________________________<br />

• “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.”<br />

Proverbs 18:13 NLT<br />

• “Cease listening, my son, to discipline, And you will stray from the words of<br />

knowledge.” Proverbs 19:27 NASB<br />

Excessive talk is often ___________________________<br />

• “In all labor there is profit, But mere talk leads only to poverty.” Proverbs<br />

14:23 NASB<br />

• “At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house<br />

to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking<br />

about things not proper to mention.” 1 Timothy 5:13 NASB<br />

• “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an<br />

accounting for it in the day of judgment.” Matthew 12:36 NASB<br />

"Words are free. It's<br />

how you use them that<br />

may cost you.”<br />

23 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Small Group Connection<br />

Opening Discussion<br />

1. On a scale of 1-10, where do you rank on the talkative scale?<br />

2. Who was perhaps the most talkative of Jesus’ disciples? What can<br />

we learn from his shortcomings?<br />

3. How has our numerous channels for sharing encouraged excessive<br />

talking?<br />

Observation of Proverbs 10:19<br />

1. What does this Proverb reveal about the government of the tongue?<br />

2. What is the relationship between the quantity of words and the<br />

likelihood of sin?<br />

Summary Discussion<br />

1. Is it a sin to talk too much?<br />

2. Think of a time when it would have been wiser to stay silent. What<br />

was the result of you speaking?<br />

3. What do you regret saying, either recently or in the distant past? How<br />

can you preach the gospel to yourself about that regret?<br />

4. When do you find it most challenging to cut your words in half?<br />

5. What can you do to mature this area?<br />

24 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Let’s Make It<br />

Happen<br />

We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />

Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />

(James 1:22). This section contains<br />

suggestions for your group and for you to<br />

individually apply the things you are<br />

learning.<br />

In Your Group<br />

Praying Together<br />

Turn to Our Prayer and<br />

Praise and write down each<br />

other’s breakthrough prayer<br />

requests. Prayer for those<br />

requests now. <br />

Commit to praying for each<br />

other every day this week.<br />

Let your group know you’ve<br />

prayed for them with a quick<br />

text, call or handwritten note.<br />

Before you begin praying as a group, share<br />

your individual prayer requests based on<br />

what stood out to you as an area of growth<br />

in this group connection. Now pray as a<br />

group. Remember to start with praise, then<br />

make your request to God.<br />

In Your Life<br />

Turn to the A Prayer To Tame My Tongue<br />

and repeat it as often as you need<br />

throughout the week.<br />

25 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Week<br />

Three


Sermon Notes<br />

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SESSION THREE<br />

YOU ARE WHAT<br />

YOU SPEAK<br />

CHECKING IN<br />

Before you begin this study, did God do anything unique<br />

since praying to tame your tongue?<br />

KEY QUESTION<br />

What do my words say about me?<br />

KEY VERSE<br />

"A good person produces good things from the treasury of a<br />

good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the<br />

treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in<br />

your heart." Luke 6:43-45 (NLT)<br />

29 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Session Three<br />

You Are What You Speak<br />

Learn to listen attentively, so that we resist the urge to respond and<br />

respect the words of others. It is common to give a quick, impulsive<br />

answer to questions and problems. We react without thinking, or without<br />

hearing the full story, sometimes more interested in what we hope to say<br />

than what the matter before us really is.<br />

Your tongue is a window into your ___________________________<br />

• The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can<br />

understand it? Jeremiah 17:9 ESV<br />

• Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.<br />

Proverbs 4:23 ESV<br />

• As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man. Proverbs<br />

27:19<br />

Your heart is not completely free from<br />

___________________________<br />

• Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light<br />

and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!<br />

Isaiah 5:20 ESV<br />

• The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of<br />

evil and perverted speech I hate. Proverbs 8:13 ESV<br />

• “And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and<br />

that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil<br />

continually.” Genesis 6:5<br />

30 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


• “For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual<br />

immorality, theft, lying, and slander.” Matthew 15:19<br />

• “This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men<br />

loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.” John<br />

3:19<br />

We blame our evil speech on outside ___________________________<br />

• But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own<br />

desire. James 1:14<br />

• You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else,<br />

for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself,<br />

because you who pass judgment do the same things. Romans 2:1<br />

• When I refused to confess my sin, my whole body wasted away, while I<br />

groaned in pain all day long. For day and night you tormented me; you<br />

tried to destroy me in the intense heat of summer. Psalm 32:3-4<br />

• Whoever hides his transgressions will not succeed, but whoever<br />

confesses and forsakes them will find mercy. Blessed is the man who<br />

always fears the Lord, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into disaster.<br />

Proverbs 28:13-14<br />

“Spiritual maturity is<br />

evidenced by the use of<br />

the tongue.”<br />

31 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Small Group Connection<br />

Opening Discussion<br />

1. Do your words from last week reveal a willingness to serve others, or<br />

do they reflect an entitled attitude to be served? <br />

2. How careless were your words yesterday? How can you take your<br />

talk more seriously today? <br />

3. Our tendency is to monitor our mouth while ignoring our hearts. But<br />

how do you monitor your heart? <br />

Observation of Luke 6:43-45<br />

1. How does this section relate to Jesus' warning to judge ourselves<br />

first in verses 39-42? <br />

2. According to verses 43-45, what does the fruit represent? <br />

3. What are the similarities and differences between a good man’s heart<br />

and and evil man’s heart? <br />

Summary Discussion<br />

1. When others were blessed while you struggled, what did your lips<br />

reveal about the state of your heart? <br />

2. Think of a "heart-to-heart" conversation where you lied to yourself?<br />

What was the result? <br />

3. Think of a "heart-to-heart" conversation where you spoke Truth?<br />

What was the result? <br />

4. Apply James 4:7-8. How can you take practical steps to submit to<br />

God, resist the devil, draw near to God, cleanse your hands, and<br />

purify your hearts? <br />

32 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Let’s Make It<br />

Happen<br />

We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />

Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />

(James 1:22). This section contains<br />

suggestions for your group and for you to<br />

individually apply the things you are<br />

learning.<br />

In Your Group<br />

Before you begin praying as a group, share<br />

your individual prayer requests based on<br />

what stood out to you as an area of growth<br />

in this group connection. Now pray as a<br />

group. Remember to start with praise, then<br />

make your request to God.<br />

Praying Together<br />

Turn to Our Prayer and<br />

Praise and write down each<br />

other’s breakthrough prayer<br />

requests. Prayer for those<br />

requests now. <br />

Commit to praying for each<br />

other every day this week.<br />

Let your group know you’ve<br />

prayed for them with a quick<br />

text, call or handwritten<br />

note.<br />

In Your Life<br />

Take a few minutes between your next group<br />

meeting to read the sections, “You Are What<br />

You Speak” to help you get a gauge of what’s<br />

in your heart.<br />

33 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Week<br />

Four


Sermon Notes<br />

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SESSION FOUR<br />

TASTE BEFORE YOU<br />

SERVE<br />

CHECKING IN<br />

Before you begin this study, how did you do on the You Are<br />

What You Speak worksheet?<br />

KEY QUESTION<br />

What do my word taste like before I serve them to others?<br />

KEY VERSE<br />

"From the fruit of a man's mouth his stomach is satisfied; he<br />

is satisfied by the yield of his lips. Death and life are in the<br />

power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits".<br />

Proverbs 18:20-21 (ESV)<br />

37 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Session Four<br />

Taste Before You Serve<br />

Learn to listen attentively, so that we resist the urge to respond and<br />

respect the words of others. It is common to give a quick, impulsive<br />

answer to questions and problems. We react without thinking, or without<br />

hearing the full story, sometimes more interested in what we hope to say<br />

than what the matter before us really is.<br />

Think ___________________________<br />

• Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just,<br />

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any<br />

excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.<br />

Philippians 4:8 ESV <br />

• Philippians 4:5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do.<br />

Remember, the Lord is coming soon. <br />

• Titus 3:2 to malign no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing every<br />

consideration for all men. <br />

Speak ___________________________<br />

• “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in<br />

your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 (ESV) <br />

• “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Proverbs<br />

25:11 (ESV) <br />

• “…for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be<br />

condemned.” Matthew 12:37 (ESV) <br />

38 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Rest in ___________________________<br />

• And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus<br />

33:14<br />

• For whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did<br />

from his. Hebrews 4:10<br />

• Therefore, while the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us fear lest any<br />

of you should seem to have failed to reach it. For good news came to us just as<br />

to them, but the message they heard did not benefit them, because they were not<br />

united by faith with those who listened. For we who have believed enter that<br />

rest, as he has said, “As I swore in my wrath, ‘They shall not enter my rest,’”<br />

although his works were finished from the foundation of the world. For he has<br />

somewhere spoken of the seventh day in this way: “And God rested on the<br />

seventh day from all his works.” And again in this passage he said, “They shall<br />

not enter my rest.” … Hebrews 4:1-16<br />

Forgive ___________________________<br />

• “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be<br />

condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; Luke 6:37 ESV<br />

• For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive<br />

you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father<br />

forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15 ESV<br />

• Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving<br />

each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians<br />

3:13 ESV<br />

“Poor listening diminishes<br />

another person, while good<br />

listening invites them to exist<br />

and matter.”<br />

39 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Small Group Connection<br />

Opening Discussion<br />

1. Do your words from last week reveal that you are resting in God's plan<br />

or wrestling with it? <br />

2. Does your communication with others reveal a frustration or joy with<br />

whom God has sovereignly placed in your life? <br />

Observation of Proverbs 18:20-21<br />

1. According to verse 20, what does your “belly” represent? <br />

2. What is the relationship between your speech and your success? <br />

3. How can someone ruin their life by not ruling their mouth? <br />

Summary Discussion<br />

1. Who is currently agitating you with their careless words? How does the<br />

gospel inform and transform the way you respond to them? <br />

2. What was the last argument you engaged in? Rewind the audio of that<br />

conversation. <br />

3. Did you attempt to use words to repair conflict, or were your words<br />

chosen to "win" at the expense of another? <br />

4. How can you use powerful words this week to build up and restore? <br />

40 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Let’s Make It<br />

Happen<br />

We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />

Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />

(James 1:22). This section contains<br />

suggestions for your group and for you to<br />

individually apply the things you are<br />

learning.<br />

In Your Group<br />

Praying Together<br />

Turn to Our Prayer and<br />

Praise and write down each<br />

other’s breakthrough prayer<br />

requests. Prayer for those<br />

requests now. <br />

Commit to praying for each<br />

other every day this week. Let<br />

your group know you’ve<br />

prayed for them with a quick<br />

text, call or handwritten note.<br />

Before you begin praying as a group, share<br />

your individual prayer requests based on<br />

what stood out to you as an area of growth<br />

in this group connection. Now pray as a<br />

group. Remember to start with praise, then<br />

make your request to God.<br />

In Your Life<br />

Take a few minutes between your next<br />

group meeting to review the Taming My<br />

Tongue In Conflict guide. Which is most<br />

challenging and which comes easiest to<br />

you.<br />

41 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Week<br />

Five


Sermon Notes<br />

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SESSION FIVE<br />

CHEW BEFORE YOU<br />

SWALLOW<br />

CHECKING IN<br />

Before you begin this study, which of the four points seems<br />

most challenging from the Taming My Tongue In Conflict<br />

guide. <br />

KEY QUESTION<br />

Am I really listening or just waiting to be heard?<br />

KEY VERSE<br />

"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and<br />

shame." Proverbs 18:13 (ESV)<br />

45 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Session Five<br />

Chew Before You Swallow<br />

Learn to listen attentively, so that we resist the urge to respond and<br />

respect the words of others. It is common to give a quick, impulsive<br />

answer to questions and problems. We react without thinking, or without<br />

hearing the full story, sometimes more interested in what we hope to say<br />

than what the matter before us really is.<br />

Good listening requires ___________________________.<br />

• The end of something is better than its beginning. Patience is better than pride.<br />

(Ecclesiastes 7:8)<br />

• You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then,<br />

you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness,<br />

and patience. (Colossians 3:12)<br />

Good listening is an act of ___________________________.<br />

• He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his<br />

mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy<br />

Spirit, Titus 3:5 (NIV)<br />

• Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. “Judge not, and you will not be<br />

judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will<br />

be forgiven; Luke 6:36-37 (ESV)<br />

Good listening is ___________________________.<br />

• 1 Corinthians 13:4 New Living Translation (NLT) 4 Love is patient and kind.<br />

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud<br />

• Philippians 2:3 New Living Translation (NLT) 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to<br />

impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.<br />

46 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Good listening prepares us to ___________________________.<br />

• A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.<br />

Proverbs 15:1 ESV<br />

• “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.<br />

Matthew 5:9 ESV<br />

• The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the<br />

quarrel breaks out. Proverbs 17:14 ESV<br />

Good listening reflects our relationship with<br />

___________________________.<br />

• I waited patiently for the Lord’s help; then he listened to me and heard<br />

my cry. (Psalm 40:1)<br />

• For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy<br />

triumphs over judgment. James 2:13 ESV<br />

• Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I<br />

came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 9:13 ESV<br />

“You have two ears to hear, but<br />

only one mouth to speak; let<br />

this ratio dictate your<br />

emphasis.”<br />

47 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Small Group Connection<br />

Opening Discussion<br />

1. Why do most people find it so hard to listen to others?<br />

2. Who is the most difficult person or people to listen to?<br />

Observation of Proverbs 18:13<br />

1. What does this proverb suggest about the need for intentional listening?<br />

2. What is the risk or consequence of careless listening?<br />

Summary Discussion<br />

1. Did you respond poorly the last time someone confronted you? How can<br />

you be less defensive and more humble?<br />

2. Critique the way you confronted someone recently. How can you do better<br />

next time?<br />

3. How can you use words this week to encourage a friend to find their hope<br />

and satisfaction in Christ alone?<br />

48 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Let’s Make It<br />

Happen<br />

We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />

Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />

(James 1:22). This section contains<br />

suggestions for your group and for you to<br />

individually apply the things you are<br />

learning.<br />

In Your Group<br />

Praying Together<br />

Turn to Our Prayer and<br />

Praise and write down each<br />

other’s breakthrough prayer<br />

requests. Prayer for those<br />

requests now. <br />

Commit to praying for each<br />

other every day this week.<br />

Let your group know you’ve<br />

prayed for them with a quick<br />

text, call or handwritten note.<br />

Before you begin praying as a group, share<br />

your individual prayer requests based on<br />

what stood out to you as an area of growth<br />

in this group connection. Now pray as a<br />

group. Remember to start with praise, then<br />

make your request to God.<br />

In Your Life<br />

Complete the Grateful Words worksheet to<br />

training your tongue in the language of<br />

gratitude and praise.<br />

49 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Week<br />

Six


Sermon Notes<br />

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SESSION SIX<br />

PASS THE SALT<br />

CHECKING IN<br />

Before you begin this study, share a few things from your<br />

Grateful Words worksheet. <br />

KEY QUESTION<br />

Who is God leading me towards to share a kind word of<br />

encouragement?<br />

KEY VERSE<br />

"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so<br />

that you may know how you ought to answer each<br />

person."Colossians 4:6 (ESV)<br />

53 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Session Six<br />

Pass the <strong>Table</strong> Salt<br />

To cultivate the gift of pleasant and wise conversation, so that we may be<br />

able to speak appropriately, especially to those who are far from Christ.<br />

God cares both about the prayer closet and the public street. There also<br />

must be practical, lived-out Christianity, which lives wisely toward those<br />

who are outside of Christ. How we speak has a lot to do with this, so we<br />

must let our speech always be seasoned with grace.<br />

Consistency of life must be followed by consistency of<br />

___________________________.<br />

• “So all bore witness to Him, and marveled at the gracious words which<br />

proceeded out of His mouth. And they said, “Is this not Joseph’s son?”” Luke<br />

4:22 NKJV <br />

• “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and<br />

helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear<br />

them.” Ephesians 4:29 NLT <br />

The speech of the new man must also be seasoned with<br />

___________________________.<br />

• “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an<br />

enemy.” Proverbs 27:6 NLT <br />

• “For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days,<br />

keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.” 1 Peter<br />

3:10 NLT <br />

• “A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the<br />

spirit.” Proverbs 15:4 NASB <br />

Believers must also know how to respond to each<br />

___________________________.<br />

• “but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a<br />

defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you,<br />

yet with gentleness and reverence;” 1 Peter 3:15 NASB <br />

• “Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we<br />

would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.” James<br />

3:2 NLT <br />

54 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Small Group Connection<br />

Opening Discussion<br />

1. Have you ever used words of (flattery, guilt, threat, etc) to manipulate another<br />

person to do what you want? <br />

2. How do you feel when there’s a difficult conversation brewing with an<br />

unbeliever that you won’t be able to duck? <br />

Observation of Colossians 4:5-6<br />

1. According to verse 5, why would Paul need to write such an exhortation to<br />

Christians of his day? <br />

2. How do you "let your speech always be with [or in] grace"? <br />

3. What does it mean to be "seasoned with salt"? <br />

4. How does salt cultivate the gift of pleasant and wise conversation and shape<br />

our response to those who are outside of Christ? <br />

5. How do you "know how to respond to each person"? Why does he assume that<br />

people will say things that need to be responded to? <br />

Summary Discussion<br />

1. What was the last unsavory conversation you had or quarrel you engaged in<br />

with an unbeliever? <br />

2. Afterwards, did you attempt to make excuses for your words? Who or what<br />

did you blame? <br />

3. What did your words reveal about the desires of your heart? Be specific. <br />

4. How can talking too much be detrimental to our influence to nonbelievers? <br />

5. Today, what life-giving words can you share to exhort someone whom God<br />

has placed in your path? <br />

55 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Let’s Make It<br />

Happen<br />

We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />

Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />

(James 1:22). This section contains<br />

suggestions for your group and for you to<br />

individually apply the things you are<br />

learning.<br />

In Your Group<br />

Praying Together<br />

Turn to Our Prayer and<br />

Praise and write down each<br />

other’s breakthrough prayer<br />

requests. Prayer for those<br />

requests now. <br />

Commit to praying for each<br />

other every day this week.<br />

Let your group know you’ve<br />

prayed for them with a quick<br />

text, call or handwritten note.<br />

Before you begin praying as a group, share<br />

your individual prayer requests based on<br />

what stood out to you as an area of growth<br />

in this group connection. Now pray as a<br />

group. Remember to start with praise, then<br />

make your request to God.<br />

In Your Life<br />

Take a few minutes to complete the Circle<br />

of Life worksheet to help you reach others<br />

more effectively.<br />

56 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


SERIES<br />

RESOURCES<br />

57 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />

A Prayer To Tame My Tongue<br />

Lord, I am asking today for a fresh revelation of the power of<br />

my words. I ask You to guard my tongue, giving me great<br />

self-control to only let pass through the gates of my mouth<br />

what will be helpful to others and pleasing to You. Please<br />

help me to see when I am about to speak without thinking<br />

and to check my heart. Help me be slow to speak.<br />

Lord, I know my tongue often gets ahead of my mind and<br />

heart. I am quick to speak and I repent of the many<br />

thoughtless things I have spoken, and for words I have<br />

spoken in anger or in gossip. Create in me a clean heart and<br />

renew a right spirit within me. Get me out of the pit of<br />

negativity and on top of the mountain with words that elevate<br />

You, others, and even myself.<br />

Forgive me for talking down on myself. I am fearfully and<br />

wonderfully made! My soul knows this full well, and I refuse to<br />

argue with my soul any longer. I reject anything other than<br />

Your Word which tells me I am a chosen person, a royal<br />

priest, and part of a holy nation!<br />

I thank You for transforming me from the inside out by<br />

changing the way that I think. I choose today to obey Your<br />

Word which instructs me to ponder only things that are true,<br />

honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable; I will<br />

think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. I<br />

turn my attention and my words to praise today to Your<br />

glorious name, for You are worthy of praise and You have<br />

made me worthy to be called Your child!<br />

In Jesus Name<br />

Amen!<br />

58 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />

<strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong> Survey<br />

Take a few minutes out of your day and take a test. Don’t be afraid; it’s<br />

not a pass-fail test, but I think it can help you evaluate the way you<br />

talk.<br />

Below are ten questions for your personal evaluation. Discuss them in your<br />

small group.<br />

1. Does your talk with others lead to problem solving?<br />

2. Does your talk with others have a 'me against them' or a 'standtogether'<br />

posture to it?<br />

3. Do your words encourage others to be open and honest about their true<br />

thoughts and feelings?<br />

4. Are you approachable and teachable or defensive and self-protective<br />

when talking to others?<br />

5. Is your communication healthy in its relationship to how it structures the<br />

relationships in your life?<br />

6. Does your talk encourage others and stimulate them to grow?<br />

7. Do you talk to others in order to develop relationships with them, or do<br />

you only talk to solve problems in times of trouble?<br />

8. Do you speak words of confession when necessary and words of<br />

forgiveness when needed?<br />

9. Do your words reflect a willingness to serve others or demand that you<br />

be served?<br />

10. As you face struggles in your talk, do you feel all alone, misunderstood,<br />

hopeless, and discouraged, or have you sought and found God’s help?<br />

59 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />

Taming My Tongue In Conflict<br />

Nothing is more messy in relationships than dealing with conflict. There are<br />

both constructive and destructive ways to approach it. Here are four<br />

responses to help tame your tongue in conflict:<br />

1. Obey the 101% Principle.<br />

What’s that? “Find the 1% that you agree on and give it 100% of your<br />

effort.” Writer Cullen Hightower said, “There’s too much said for the sake of<br />

argument and too little said for the sake of agreement.” The first and best<br />

response when conflict emerges in a relationship is to actively search for<br />

the areas where you already agree. It’s the quickest way to start moving the<br />

conflict toward resolution.<br />

2. Love people more than opinions.<br />

Do you know anyone who does the opposite? How much conflict does he<br />

or she experience in life? It’s my belief that anyone who loves his opinions<br />

more than his friends will defend his opinions and destroy his friends.<br />

Focus on the relationship over and above the issue, and you’ll bring mercy<br />

to a messy table.<br />

3. Give others the benefit of the doubt.<br />

I’ve often said that to handle yourself, you should use your head. But to<br />

handle others, you should use your heart. It’s natural to do the opposite: To<br />

let ourselves off the hook while we demand perfection from others. Assume<br />

right motives from the person you’re in conflict with. This defuses<br />

defensiveness and allows you both to focus on solving the problem at<br />

hand.<br />

4. Learn to be flexible.<br />

Thomas Jefferson famously said, “In matters of principle, stand like a rock.<br />

In matters of taste, swim with the current.” Ask yourself two important<br />

questions: “Does this really make a difference?” and “Will I care about this<br />

tomorrow?” If you answer “no,” then perhaps you can compromise on your<br />

position.<br />

60 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />

"You Are What You Speak”<br />

Fill Your Mouth with Life, Not Death (Proverbs 18:21)<br />

Use this worksheet over the next 7 days to measure your mouth by<br />

counting the number of words you use throughout the day that give<br />

life or take it away. An estimate is the goal not an exact number.<br />

Words of Life<br />

Words of Death<br />

Sample IIII IIII I IIII III<br />

Day 1<br />

Day 2<br />

Day 3<br />

Day 4<br />

Day 5<br />

Day 6<br />

Day 7<br />

TOTAL<br />

WORDS<br />

After 7 days, what have the following words revealed about<br />

you?<br />

“The words you speak will all depend<br />

on what’s filling your heart.”<br />

61 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />

Grateful Words<br />

Take a few minutes to complete the Grateful Words worksheet and<br />

share with your group. This exercise helps you to train your tongue in<br />

the language of gratitude and praise. These prompts cover multiple<br />

areas of life and dive deeper into your sense of gratitude. Instead of<br />

just helping you identify what you are grateful for, this worksheet digs<br />

into why you are grateful.<br />

1. “I am grateful for my family because…”<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

2. “Something good happened this week…”<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

3. “I am grateful for my friendship with… because…”<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

4. “I am grateful for who I am because…”<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

5. “Something silly that I am grateful for…”<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

6. “Something else I am grateful for…”<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

62 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />

Circles of Life<br />

Discover Who Your Can Connect Deeper With In Christ<br />

Use this chart to help carry out one of the values in the Group <strong>Guide</strong>lines<br />

to “Welcome Newcomers” to your next Small Group connection.<br />

Family<br />

(immediate or extended)<br />

Fellowship<br />

(church relationships)<br />

Friends<br />

(neighbors, kids, sports,<br />

schools etc.)<br />

Fun<br />

(gym, hobbies, hangouts)<br />

Firm<br />

(work, professional arena)<br />

Follow this simple three-step process:<br />

1. List one to two people in each circle.<br />

2. Prayerfully select one person or couple from your list and tell your group<br />

about them.<br />

3. Give them a call and invite them to your next group connection. Over fifty<br />

percent of those invited to a small group say, “Yes!”<br />

63 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


64 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong><br />

SMALL GROUP<br />

RESOURCES


SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />

HELP FOR HOSTS<br />

CONGRATULATIONS! As the host of your small group, you have<br />

responded to the call to help encourage God’s flock. A few other tasks in<br />

the family of God surpassed a contribution you will be making. As you<br />

prepare to host your group, whether it is one session for the entire series,<br />

here are a few thoughts to keep in mind.<br />

Remember you are not alone. God knows everything about you, and he<br />

knew you would be asked to host a group. You may not feel ready; this is<br />

common for all good host. God promises," I will never leave you; I will<br />

never forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Whether you're hosting for one<br />

evening, several weeks, or for a lifetime, you will be blessed as you serve.<br />

1. DON'T TRY TO DO IT ALONE. If you can enlist a cohost to help you,<br />

you will find your experience much richer. This is your chance to involve as<br />

many people as you can and build a healthy group. All you have to do is<br />

asked people to help. You will be surprised at the response.<br />

2. BE YOURSELF. God wants to use your unique gifts and temperament.<br />

Be sure to greet people with a big smile, this can set the mood for the<br />

whole Group connection. Remember, they're taking as big of a step<br />

showing up as you are hosting a small group! Don't try to be perfect or<br />

pretend that you have all the answers. Your group will love you forever and<br />

you'll sleep better at night.<br />

3. PRAY FOR YOUR GROUP MEMBERS BY NAME. Ask God to use your<br />

time together to touch the heart of each person in your group. Expect God<br />

to lead you to whomever he wants you to encourage or challenges special<br />

way. If you listen, God will surely lead.<br />

65 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />

HELP FOR HOSTS<br />

4. WHEN YOU ASK QUESTIONS, BE PATIENT.<br />

Someone will eventually respond. Sometimes people need a moment or<br />

two to think about that question. If silence doesn't bother you, it won't<br />

bother anyone else. If someone in your group is a wallflower who sit silently<br />

through every session, consider talking to that person privately and<br />

encouraging them to participate. Let them know how important they are to<br />

the group, and remember, still water often runs deep.<br />

5. PROVIDE TRANSITIONS BETWEEN QUESTIONS.<br />

Ask if anyone would like to read the question or Bible verses. Don't call<br />

anyone, but ask for volunteers, and then be patient until someone begins.<br />

Be sure to thank the person who reads aloud.<br />

6. BREAK UP INTO SMALLER GROUPS OCCASIONALLY.<br />

With a greater opportunity to talk in the smaller circle, people will connect<br />

more with the study, apply more quickly what they're learning, and<br />

ultimately get more out of their small group experience. The smaller circle<br />

also encourages quite people to participate and tends to minimize the<br />

effects of a more vocal or dominant members. Smaller circles are also<br />

helpful during prayer time. People who are unaccustomed to praying out<br />

loud will feel more comfortable with just two or three others. As you ask<br />

people in the group to facilitate discussion or lead a prayer circle, it gives<br />

them a small leadership step that can build confidence.<br />

7. ROTATE HOST OCCASIONALLY.<br />

You maybe perfectly capable of hosting each time, but it will help others<br />

grow in their faith and gifts if you give them opportunity to host the group.<br />

That may be in the same location or a new location of choice.<br />

66 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />

HELP FOR HOSTS<br />

8. ONE FINAL CHALLENGE FOR NEW OR FIRST-TIME HOST. Before<br />

your first opportunity to host, look up each of the three passages listed<br />

below. Read each one as a devotional exercise to help you prepare your<br />

heart to host. If you do this, you will be more than ready for your first group<br />

connection.<br />

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they<br />

were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. He said to<br />

his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to<br />

the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more<br />

workers into his fields.” - Matthew 9:36-38 (NLT)<br />

“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me,<br />

just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my<br />

life for the sheep. - John 10:14-15 (NLT)<br />

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with<br />

Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the<br />

Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete<br />

by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of<br />

one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in<br />

humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own<br />

interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 5 In your<br />

relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ<br />

Jesus. - Philippians 2:1-5 (NIV)<br />

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly<br />

cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we<br />

were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also<br />

our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. just as you<br />

know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each<br />

one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk<br />

in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom<br />

and glory. - 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8, 11-12 (NASB)<br />

67 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS<br />

HOW LONG WILL THIS GROUP MEET?<br />

This study includes six sessions. We encourage your group to add an extra<br />

session for a celebration. At that time, you may also want to discuss group<br />

values, and decide which study you want to do next. We recommend you<br />

visit your Journey to Maturity website for more small group studies.<br />

WHO IS THE HOST?<br />

The host is the person who facilitates your group connections. We<br />

encourage you to select one or more group members to facilitate your<br />

group discussions. Several other responsibilities can be rotated, including<br />

refreshments, prayer request, or keeping up with those who may miss a<br />

meeting. Shared ownership in the group helps everyone grow.<br />

WHERE DO YOU FIND NEW GROUP MEMBERS?<br />

Recruiting new members can be a challenge for groups, especially new<br />

groups with just a few people. For existing groups that lose a few people<br />

along the way we encourage you to use the Circles of Life diagram in the<br />

study guide to brainstorm a list of people from your workplace,<br />

neighborhood, church, and so on. Then pray for the people on each<br />

member’s list.<br />

HOW DO WE DISCIPLE CHILDREN IN OUR GROUP?<br />

This is a sensitive issue I would suggest you discuss creative solutions as a<br />

group. One common solution is, the adults could rotate the responsibility of<br />

providing a lesson for the kids for 10 to 20 minutes. After which they can<br />

fellowship with each other to build stronger relationships. If there is a<br />

teenager in the group, he or she can help with the discipleship process<br />

with younger children.<br />

68 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />

SMALL GROUP GUIDELINES<br />

It's a good idea for every group to put words in the shared values,<br />

expectations, and commitments. Such guidelines will help you avoid<br />

unspoken agendas and unmet expectations. We recommend you discuss<br />

your guidelines during session 1. Feel free to modify anything that does not<br />

work for your group.<br />

WE AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING VALUES:<br />

Clear Purpose To grow healthy, spiritual lives by building a healthy small<br />

group community.<br />

Group Attendance To give priority to the group meeting (call if I am<br />

absent or late)<br />

Safe Environment To create a safe place where people can be heard and<br />

feel loved (no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes<br />

Be Confidential To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and<br />

within the group<br />

Conflict Resolution To avoid gossip and to immediately resolve any<br />

concerns by following the principles of Matthew 18:15-17<br />

Spiritual Health To give group members permission to speak into my life<br />

and help me live a healthy, balanced spiritual life that is pleasing to God<br />

Welcome Newcomers To invite friends who might benefit from this study<br />

and warmly welcome newcomers<br />

Building Relationships To get to know the other members of the group<br />

and pray for them regularly.<br />

69 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />

OUR PRAYERS AND PRAISE<br />

This is a place where you can write each other's request for prayer. You can<br />

also make a note when God answers prayer. Prefer each other's request. If<br />

you're new to group prayer, it's okay to pray silently or to pray using just<br />

one sentence:<br />

"God, please help _____________________ to _________________________."<br />

DATE/PERSON PRAYER REQUEST PRAISE REPORT<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

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70 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />

DATE/PERSON PRAYER REQUEST PRAISE REPORT<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

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71 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />

SMALL GROUP CALENDAR<br />

Healthy groups share responsibilities and groups ownership. It might take<br />

some time for this to develop. Shared ownership ensures that responsibility<br />

for the group doesn't fall to one person. Use this calendar to keep track of<br />

social events, birthdays, or breaks. Complete this calendar at your first or<br />

second meeting. Planning ahead will increase attendance in shared<br />

ownership. Feel free to share who facilitated the questions in this study<br />

guide and brings a snack or potluck meal. <br />

DATE SESSION FACILITATOR SNACKS/MEAL<br />

ONE<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

TWO<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

THREE<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

FOUR<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

FIVE<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

SIX<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

CELEBRATIONS<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

72 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />

SMALL GROUP ROSTER<br />

NAME PHONE EMAIL<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

___________________________________________________________________<br />

KaTonya Hamilton (706) 627-5479 or katonyahamilton@gmail.com<br />

___________________________________________________________<br />

SMALL GROUP COORDINATOR<br />

73 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Notes<br />

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74 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>


Notes<br />

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