Table Talk Study Guide

Series Study Guide 

Leslie B. James

Let the words of my 

mouth and the 

meditation of my heart 

be acceptable in your 

sight, O LORD, my rock 

and my redeemer. 

Psalm 19:14 (ESV) 

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PHOTO AND SCRIPTURE 

“Be careful with 

your words. Once 

they are said, they 

can be only 

forgiven, not 

forgotten.”

Leslie B James 

TABLE TALK

CONTENTS 

UNDERSTANDING YOUR 

STUDY GUIDE 

GOING DEEPER IN YOUR 

SMALL GROUP 

SESSION ONE: 

MERCY FOR A MESSY TABLE 

SESSION TWO: 

A MOUTH FULL OF WORDS 

SESSION THREE: 

YOU ARE WHAT YOU SPEAK 

SESSION FOUR: 

TASTE BEFORE YOU SERVE 

SESSION FIVE: 

CHEW BEFORE YOU SWALLOW 

SESSION SIX: 

PASS THE SALT 

1 | Table Talk

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RESOURCES 

TABLE TALK RESOURCES 

A PRAYER TO TAME MY TONGUE 

TABLE TALK SURVEY 

TAMING MY TONGUE IN CONFLICT 

YOU ARE WHAT YOU SPEAK WORKSHEET 

GRATEFUL WORDS 

CIRCLES OF LIFE 

SMALL GROUP RESOURCES 

HELP FOR HOSTS 

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 

SMALL GROUP GUIDELINES 

OUR PRAYERS AND PRAISE 

SMALL GROUP CALENDAR 

SMALL GROUP ROSTER 

NOTES 


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UNDERSTANDING 

YOUR STUDY GUIDE 

Here is a brief explanation of the features of this study guide. 

SERMON NOTES 

KEY QUESTION 

Bring this book to church during the 

series campaign. Use these pages to 

take notes on the weekly sermon. Fill 

in the blanks in the lesson outline as 

you listen, and be sure to refer back to 

the outline during your discussion 

time. 

Each week, you will find a question 

that allows you to go beyond the 

sermon. This question also serves 

like the rudder on a boat to steer 

your conversations during the week. 

KEY VERSE 

SMALL GROUP CONNECTION 

Being a member of our church family is 

much more than attending worship 

services. God has hardwired us for 

relationships and Biblical community. 

Gathering to apply Biblical principles in 

Small Groups with people of similar 

age, stage of life, or interest connects 

us with Christ and each other. Groups 

are where we can actually “do life” 

t o g e t h e r a s p e o p l e w h o a r e 

discovering and pursuing God’s 

design. 

GROUP CHECK IN 

Each week you will find a key Bible 

verse for your group to focus 

together. If someone in the group 

has a different translation, ask them 

to read it out loud so the group can 

get a bigger picture of the meaning 

of the passage. 

LET’S MAKE IT HAPPEN 

We don’t just want you to be hearers 

of the Word, we also need to be 

doers of the Word (James 1:22). This 

section contains suggestions for 

your group and for you to individually 

apply the things you are learning. 

Begin each group conversation by 

briefly discussing a question that will 

help focus everyone’s attention on the 

subject of the lesson. 


A TIP FOR THE HOST 

The study guide material is meant to be your servant, not your master. The point is not 

to race through the sessions- the point is to take time to let the Holy Spirit have his way 

in your lives. Give your group time to explore the questions and process what they 

learned in each session. It is not necessary to “go around the circle” before you move 

on to the next question. Let your group know they have the freedom to speak up and 

share, but don’t insist. Your group will enjoy deeper, more open sharing and discussion 

if there is an atmosphere of acceptance and they don’t feel pressure to speak up. Have 

fun!

GOING DEEPER IN 

YOUR SMALL 

GROUP 

Follow these simple steps for a 

healthy small group connections: 

• It is encouraged to have something 

to consume at each connection. 

This can be as simple as a snack, 

beverage or a potluck meal. You 

can use the SMALL GROUP 

CALENDAR to take turns or 

organize a meal. 

• Open your group connection by 

using the CHECKING IN section in 

this study guide. 

• Each week, your group follows a 

simple discussion guide which 

allows you to (1) Opening 

Discussion-Feel (2)Bible 

Observation-Think, and (3) 

Application-Do. 

• Each week you should end with a 

prayer for each other but especially 

the “open seat.” This seat 

represents the neighbor, coworker, 

family member and nonbelievers 

who are looking for godly 

relationships. 


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A Word About Words 

Our God is a speaking God. The Bible tells us that the universe was created by 

the word of God (Hebrews 11:3) and that he holds it together by the word of his 

power (Hebrews 1:3). That means everything we see is a word of God, and many 

things we don’t understand, like every angel and demon, every galaxy and quark 

in existence. One could rightly say God speaks a lot. And every time He spoke it 

was good. In contrast to God, since the fall of man, the human tongue has 

always been “a restless evil,” “a world of unrighteousness,” setting whole forests 

of humanity on fire (James 3:5–8). 

But never before have so many been able to say so much in so many ways. 

Satan, the “prince of the power of the air” (Ephesians 2:2), has filled the 

airwaves, cyber-waves, print-waves, brainwaves, and every other wave of 

human communication with hurtful words. He is the father of lies (John 8:44) and 

wields power over the world (1 John 5:19). He is working to exponentially 

increase words, and in doing so, to increase the snares of human transgression. 

The tornado of words is now a raging Category 5 hurricane. James nails us when 

he says, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not 

this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1) God knows that we 

need to be told this. But it’s not that we don’t already do this. We often admit it 

to ourselves in the privacy of our own thoughts. We just have such a difficult time 

admitting it to someone else. 

How many times following a conflict, once we’re alone, have we felt convicted 

over the wrong way we spoke to or treated someone? How many times have we 

then fantasized the kind, loving things we wish we would have said, and 

rehearsed the forgiveness and reconciliation we wanted? And then how many 

times, when it comes to actually saying something to the person, have we found 

it suddenly so hard to own up to our sin, and so started softening and qualifying 

our apology? Sometimes resurrecting the conflict rather than resolving it. 

Let’s be forthright, honest, courageous and humble. Jesus was amazingly blunt 

at times. Love sometimes sounds like that. He could have easily been accused 

of callousness or lovelessness. But we know he was the most loving person who 

ever lived. So let’s follow him in this matter. He died for us so that all the logs 

and specks in our eyes may be forgiven. This should give us both courage and 

care in communicating with others. Especially when we realize that the faults of 

our brothers and sisters have also been forgiven by Jesus. 

Serving at the King’s pleasure, 

Leslie B. James 


Week 

One

Sermon Notes 

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SESSION ONE 

MERCY FOR A 

MESSY TABLE 

CHECKING IN 

Before you begin this study, review the Small Group 

Guidelines of this study guide. 

KEY QUESTION 

Can I spot a messy conversation before it happens? 

KEY VERSE 

"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the 

door of my lips!" Psalm 141:3 (ESV) 


SESSION ONE 

MERCY FOR A 

MESSY TABLE 

Consider how God made my lips to be a door to my words, so that no 

word may be allowed to go out which may dishonor God, or hurt others. 

David didn’t want the same mouth that prayed as incense to be used for 

lies or any evil thing. He asked God to keep watch over the door of my 

lips so that he would not say evil or foolish things. 

First, our God-given ability to communicate makes us unique 

in all of _________________________. 

• 

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let 

them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the 

heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every 

creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” Genesis 1:26 (ESV) 

• As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall 

be satisfied with your likeness. Psalm 17:15 (ESV) 

• then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed 

into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature. 

Genesis 2:7 (ESV) 

Second, the first words human ears ever heard came from the 

mouth of ___________________________. 

• Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and 

govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the 

animals that scurry along the ground.” Then God said, “Look! I have given 

you every seed-bearing plant throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for 

your food. And I have given every green plant as food for all the wild 

animals, the birds in the sky, and the small animals that scurry along the 

ground—everything that has life.” And that is what happened. Genesis 

1:28-30 (NLT) 


• The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is full of majesty. 

Psalm 29:4 (ESV) 

• In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word 

was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through 

him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. John 1:1–3 

(ESV) 

Third, sin has radically distorted our ________________________, 

resulting in much hurt, confusion and chaos. 

• The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, 

and I ate it.” Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?” 

“The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” Genesis 

3:12-13 (NLT) 

• All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that does not lead to death. 1 John 

5:17 (ESV) 

• for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23 (ESV) 

“Raise your words, not 

your voice. It is rain 

that grows flowers, 

not thunder.” 


Small Group Connection 

Opening Discussion 

1. How much did you talk yesterday? Can you remember half of what you 

said? 

2. Where could your mouth have been more merciful? 

3. What does a merciful person look and sound like? 

Observation Questions about Psalm 141:3 

1. Why was it so important for David to make this request of God? 

2. What does the language of David’s prayer reveal about him? 

3. How does God answer this prayer? 

Summary Discussion 

1. Why is it that all of us get into talk trouble? 

2. Can you think of a time when words have had a major impact on you or 

on those around you? 


Let’s Make It 

Happen 

We don’t just want you to be hearers of the 

Word, we also need to be doers of the Word 

(James 1:22). This section contains 

suggestions for your group and for you to 

individually apply the things you are 

learning. 

In Your Group 

Praying Together 

Turn to Our Prayer and 

Praise and write down each 

other’s breakthrough prayer 

requests. Prayer for those 

requests now. 

Commit to praying for each 

other every day this week. 

Let your group know you’ve 

prayed for them with a quick 

text, call or handwritten note. 

Before you begin praying as a group, 

share your individual prayer requests 

based on what stood out to you as an 

area of growth in this group connection. 

Now pray as a group. Remember to start 

with praise, then make your request to 

God. 

In Your Life 

Take a few minutes between your next 

group meeting to take the Talk Survey. 


Week 

Two

Sermon Notes 

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SESSION TWO 

A MOUTH FULL OF 

WORDS 

CHECKING IN 

Before you begin this study, would anyone like to share their 

observations from the Table Talk Survey from last week? 

KEY QUESTION 

Am I making my words count, or just counting my words? 

KEY VERSE 

""When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but 

whoever restrains his lips is prudent." (Proverbs 10:19 ESV) 


Session Two 

A Mouth Full of Words 

Take heed to the warnings of having a mouth full of empty words, so that 

we avoid the traps of talking too much. For many people, the more they 

talk, the more they will sin. Many of us could bless others and keep 

ourselves from sin by merely speaking less and restraining our lips. 

Excessive talk opens the door to ___________________________ 

• For a dream comes with much business, and a fool’s voice with many 

words. Ecclesiastes 5:3 

• Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold 

their tongues.” Proverbs 17:28 

• “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.” 

Proverbs 21:23 

• “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his 

lips shall have destruction.” Proverbs 13:3 

Excessive talk fuels ___________________________ 

• “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of 

friends.” Proverbs 16:28 NLT 

• “A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with 

chatterers.” Proverbs 20:19 NLT 

• “Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.” 

Proverbs 26:20 NLT 


Excessive talk is the enemy of ___________________________ 

• “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” 

Proverbs 18:13 NLT 

• “Cease listening, my son, to discipline, And you will stray from the words of 

knowledge.” Proverbs 19:27 NASB 

Excessive talk is often ___________________________ 

• “In all labor there is profit, But mere talk leads only to poverty.” Proverbs 

14:23 NASB 

• “At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house 

to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking 

about things not proper to mention.” 1 Timothy 5:13 NASB 

• “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an 

accounting for it in the day of judgment.” Matthew 12:36 NASB 

"Words are free. It's 

how you use them that 

may cost you.” 




1. On a scale of 1-10, where do you rank on the talkative scale? 

2. Who was perhaps the most talkative of Jesus’ disciples? What can 

we learn from his shortcomings? 

3. How has our numerous channels for sharing encouraged excessive 

talking? 

Observation of Proverbs 10:19 

1. What does this Proverb reveal about the government of the tongue? 

2. What is the relationship between the quantity of words and the 

likelihood of sin? 


1. Is it a sin to talk too much? 

2. Think of a time when it would have been wiser to stay silent. What 

was the result of you speaking? 

3. What do you regret saying, either recently or in the distant past? How 

can you preach the gospel to yourself about that regret? 

4. When do you find it most challenging to cut your words in half? 

5. What can you do to mature this area? 



Happen 






learning. 

In Your Group 












Before you begin praying as a group, share 

your individual prayer requests based on 

what stood out to you as an area of growth 

in this group connection. Now pray as a 

group. Remember to start with praise, then 

make your request to God. 

In Your Life 

Turn to the A Prayer To Tame My Tongue 

and repeat it as often as you need 

throughout the week. 


Week 

Three

Sermon Notes 

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SESSION THREE 

YOU ARE WHAT 

YOU SPEAK 

CHECKING IN 

Before you begin this study, did God do anything unique 

since praying to tame your tongue? 

KEY QUESTION 

What do my words say about me? 

KEY VERSE 

"A good person produces good things from the treasury of a 

good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the 

treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in 

your heart." Luke 6:43-45 (NLT) 


Session Three 

You Are What You Speak 

Learn to listen attentively, so that we resist the urge to respond and 

respect the words of others. It is common to give a quick, impulsive 

answer to questions and problems. We react without thinking, or without 

hearing the full story, sometimes more interested in what we hope to say 

than what the matter before us really is. 

Your tongue is a window into your ___________________________ 

• The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can 

understand it? Jeremiah 17:9 ESV 

• Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life. 

Proverbs 4:23 ESV 

• As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man. Proverbs 

27:19 

Your heart is not completely free from 

___________________________ 

• Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light 

and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter! 

Isaiah 5:20 ESV 

• The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of 

evil and perverted speech I hate. Proverbs 8:13 ESV 

• “And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and 

that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil 

continually.” Genesis 6:5 


• “For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual 

immorality, theft, lying, and slander.” Matthew 15:19 

• “This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men 

loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.” John 

3:19 

We blame our evil speech on outside ___________________________ 

• But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own 

desire. James 1:14 

• You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, 

for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, 

because you who pass judgment do the same things. Romans 2:1 

• When I refused to confess my sin, my whole body wasted away, while I 

groaned in pain all day long. For day and night you tormented me; you 

tried to destroy me in the intense heat of summer. Psalm 32:3-4 

• Whoever hides his transgressions will not succeed, but whoever 

confesses and forsakes them will find mercy. Blessed is the man who 

always fears the Lord, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into disaster. 

Proverbs 28:13-14 

“Spiritual maturity is 

evidenced by the use of 

the tongue.” 




1. Do your words from last week reveal a willingness to serve others, or 

do they reflect an entitled attitude to be served? 

2. How careless were your words yesterday? How can you take your 

talk more seriously today? 

3. Our tendency is to monitor our mouth while ignoring our hearts. But 

how do you monitor your heart? 

Observation of Luke 6:43-45 

1. How does this section relate to Jesus' warning to judge ourselves 

first in verses 39-42? 

2. According to verses 43-45, what does the fruit represent? 

3. What are the similarities and differences between a good man’s heart 

and and evil man’s heart? 


1. When others were blessed while you struggled, what did your lips 

reveal about the state of your heart? 

2. Think of a "heart-to-heart" conversation where you lied to yourself? 

What was the result? 

3. Think of a "heart-to-heart" conversation where you spoke Truth? 

What was the result? 

4. Apply James 4:7-8. How can you take practical steps to submit to 

God, resist the devil, draw near to God, cleanse your hands, and 

purify your hearts? 



Happen 






learning. 

In Your Group 

















text, call or handwritten 

note. 

In Your Life 

Take a few minutes between your next group 

meeting to read the sections, “You Are What 

You Speak” to help you get a gauge of what’s 

in your heart. 


Week 

Four

Sermon Notes 

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SESSION FOUR 

TASTE BEFORE YOU 

SERVE 

CHECKING IN 

Before you begin this study, how did you do on the You Are 

What You Speak worksheet? 

KEY QUESTION 

What do my word taste like before I serve them to others? 

KEY VERSE 

"From the fruit of a man's mouth his stomach is satisfied; he 

is satisfied by the yield of his lips. Death and life are in the 

power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits". 

Proverbs 18:20-21 (ESV) 


Session Four 

Taste Before You Serve 






Think ___________________________ 

• Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, 

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any 

excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 

Philippians 4:8 ESV 

• Philippians 4:5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do. 

Remember, the Lord is coming soon. 

• Titus 3:2 to malign no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing every 

consideration for all men. 

Speak ___________________________ 

• “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in 

your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 (ESV) 

• “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Proverbs 

25:11 (ESV) 

• “…for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be 

condemned.” Matthew 12:37 (ESV) 


Rest in ___________________________ 

• And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus 

33:14 

• For whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did 

from his. Hebrews 4:10 

• Therefore, while the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us fear lest any 

of you should seem to have failed to reach it. For good news came to us just as 

to them, but the message they heard did not benefit them, because they were not 

united by faith with those who listened. For we who have believed enter that 

rest, as he has said, “As I swore in my wrath, ‘They shall not enter my rest,’” 

although his works were finished from the foundation of the world. For he has 

somewhere spoken of the seventh day in this way: “And God rested on the 

seventh day from all his works.” And again in this passage he said, “They shall 

not enter my rest.” … Hebrews 4:1-16 

Forgive ___________________________ 

• “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be 

condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; Luke 6:37 ESV 

• For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive 

you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father 

forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15 ESV 

• Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving 

each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 

3:13 ESV 

“Poor listening diminishes 

another person, while good 

listening invites them to exist 

and matter.” 




1. Do your words from last week reveal that you are resting in God's plan 

or wrestling with it? 

2. Does your communication with others reveal a frustration or joy with 

whom God has sovereignly placed in your life? 

Observation of Proverbs 18:20-21 

1. According to verse 20, what does your “belly” represent? 

2. What is the relationship between your speech and your success? 

3. How can someone ruin their life by not ruling their mouth? 


1. Who is currently agitating you with their careless words? How does the 

gospel inform and transform the way you respond to them? 

2. What was the last argument you engaged in? Rewind the audio of that 

conversation. 

3. Did you attempt to use words to repair conflict, or were your words 

chosen to "win" at the expense of another? 

4. How can you use powerful words this week to build up and restore? 



Happen 






learning. 

In Your Group 








other every day this week. Let 

your group know you’ve 









In Your Life 

Take a few minutes between your next 

group meeting to review the Taming My 

Tongue In Conflict guide. Which is most 

challenging and which comes easiest to 

you. 


Week 

Five

Sermon Notes 

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SESSION FIVE 

CHEW BEFORE YOU 

SWALLOW 

CHECKING IN 

Before you begin this study, which of the four points seems 

most challenging from the Taming My Tongue In Conflict 

guide. 

KEY QUESTION 

Am I really listening or just waiting to be heard? 

KEY VERSE 

"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and 

shame." Proverbs 18:13 (ESV) 


Session Five 

Chew Before You Swallow 






Good listening requires ___________________________. 

• The end of something is better than its beginning. Patience is better than pride. 

(Ecclesiastes 7:8) 

• You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then, 

you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, 

and patience. (Colossians 3:12) 

Good listening is an act of ___________________________. 

• He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his 

mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy 

Spirit, Titus 3:5 (NIV) 

• Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. “Judge not, and you will not be 

judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will 

be forgiven; Luke 6:36-37 (ESV) 

Good listening is ___________________________. 

• 1 Corinthians 13:4 New Living Translation (NLT) 4 Love is patient and kind. 

Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 

• Philippians 2:3 New Living Translation (NLT) 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to 

impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 


Good listening prepares us to ___________________________. 

• A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. 

Proverbs 15:1 ESV 

• “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. 

Matthew 5:9 ESV 

• The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the 

quarrel breaks out. Proverbs 17:14 ESV 

Good listening reflects our relationship with 

___________________________. 

• I waited patiently for the Lord’s help; then he listened to me and heard 

my cry. (Psalm 40:1) 

• For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy 

triumphs over judgment. James 2:13 ESV 

• Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I 

came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 9:13 ESV 

“You have two ears to hear, but 

only one mouth to speak; let 

this ratio dictate your 

emphasis.” 




1. Why do most people find it so hard to listen to others? 

2. Who is the most difficult person or people to listen to? 

Observation of Proverbs 18:13 

1. What does this proverb suggest about the need for intentional listening? 

2. What is the risk or consequence of careless listening? 


1. Did you respond poorly the last time someone confronted you? How can 

you be less defensive and more humble? 

2. Critique the way you confronted someone recently. How can you do better 

next time? 

3. How can you use words this week to encourage a friend to find their hope 

and satisfaction in Christ alone? 



Happen 






learning. 

In Your Group 


















In Your Life 

Complete the Grateful Words worksheet to 

training your tongue in the language of 

gratitude and praise. 


Week 

Six

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SESSION SIX 

PASS THE SALT 

CHECKING IN 

Before you begin this study, share a few things from your 

Grateful Words worksheet. 

KEY QUESTION 

Who is God leading me towards to share a kind word of 

encouragement? 

KEY VERSE 

"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so 

that you may know how you ought to answer each 

person."Colossians 4:6 (ESV) 


Session Six 

Pass the Table Salt 

To cultivate the gift of pleasant and wise conversation, so that we may be 

able to speak appropriately, especially to those who are far from Christ. 

God cares both about the prayer closet and the public street. There also 

must be practical, lived-out Christianity, which lives wisely toward those 

who are outside of Christ. How we speak has a lot to do with this, so we 

must let our speech always be seasoned with grace. 

Consistency of life must be followed by consistency of 

___________________________. 

• “So all bore witness to Him, and marveled at the gracious words which 

proceeded out of His mouth. And they said, “Is this not Joseph’s son?”” Luke 

4:22 NKJV 

• “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and 

helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear 

them.” Ephesians 4:29 NLT 

The speech of the new man must also be seasoned with 

___________________________. 

• “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an 

enemy.” Proverbs 27:6 NLT 

• “For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, 

keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.” 1 Peter 

3:10 NLT 

• “A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the 

spirit.” Proverbs 15:4 NASB 

Believers must also know how to respond to each 

___________________________. 

• “but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a 

defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, 

yet with gentleness and reverence;” 1 Peter 3:15 NASB 

• “Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we 

would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.” James 

3:2 NLT 




1. Have you ever used words of (flattery, guilt, threat, etc) to manipulate another 

person to do what you want? 

2. How do you feel when there’s a difficult conversation brewing with an 

unbeliever that you won’t be able to duck? 

Observation of Colossians 4:5-6 

1. According to verse 5, why would Paul need to write such an exhortation to 

Christians of his day? 

2. How do you "let your speech always be with [or in] grace"? 

3. What does it mean to be "seasoned with salt"? 

4. How does salt cultivate the gift of pleasant and wise conversation and shape 

our response to those who are outside of Christ? 

5. How do you "know how to respond to each person"? Why does he assume that 

people will say things that need to be responded to? 


1. What was the last unsavory conversation you had or quarrel you engaged in 

with an unbeliever? 

2. Afterwards, did you attempt to make excuses for your words? Who or what 

did you blame? 

3. What did your words reveal about the desires of your heart? Be specific. 

4. How can talking too much be detrimental to our influence to nonbelievers? 

5. Today, what life-giving words can you share to exhort someone whom God 

has placed in your path? 



Happen 






learning. 

In Your Group 


















In Your Life 

Take a few minutes to complete the Circle 

of Life worksheet to help you reach others 

more effectively. 


SERIES 

RESOURCES 



A Prayer To Tame My Tongue 

Lord, I am asking today for a fresh revelation of the power of 

my words. I ask You to guard my tongue, giving me great 

self-control to only let pass through the gates of my mouth 

what will be helpful to others and pleasing to You. Please 

help me to see when I am about to speak without thinking 

and to check my heart. Help me be slow to speak. 

Lord, I know my tongue often gets ahead of my mind and 

heart. I am quick to speak and I repent of the many 

thoughtless things I have spoken, and for words I have 

spoken in anger or in gossip. Create in me a clean heart and 

renew a right spirit within me. Get me out of the pit of 

negativity and on top of the mountain with words that elevate 

You, others, and even myself. 

Forgive me for talking down on myself. I am fearfully and 

wonderfully made! My soul knows this full well, and I refuse to 

argue with my soul any longer. I reject anything other than 

Your Word which tells me I am a chosen person, a royal 

priest, and part of a holy nation! 

I thank You for transforming me from the inside out by 

changing the way that I think. I choose today to obey Your 

Word which instructs me to ponder only things that are true, 

honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable; I will 

think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. I 

turn my attention and my words to praise today to Your 

glorious name, for You are worthy of praise and You have 

made me worthy to be called Your child! 

In Jesus Name 

Amen! 



Table Talk Survey 

Take a few minutes out of your day and take a test. Don’t be afraid; it’s 

not a pass-fail test, but I think it can help you evaluate the way you 

talk. 

Below are ten questions for your personal evaluation. Discuss them in your 

small group. 

1. Does your talk with others lead to problem solving? 

2. Does your talk with others have a 'me against them' or a 'standtogether' 

posture to it? 

3. Do your words encourage others to be open and honest about their true 

thoughts and feelings? 

4. Are you approachable and teachable or defensive and self-protective 

when talking to others? 

5. Is your communication healthy in its relationship to how it structures the 

relationships in your life? 

6. Does your talk encourage others and stimulate them to grow? 

7. Do you talk to others in order to develop relationships with them, or do 

you only talk to solve problems in times of trouble? 

8. Do you speak words of confession when necessary and words of 

forgiveness when needed? 

9. Do your words reflect a willingness to serve others or demand that you 

be served? 

10. As you face struggles in your talk, do you feel all alone, misunderstood, 

hopeless, and discouraged, or have you sought and found God’s help? 



Taming My Tongue In Conflict 

Nothing is more messy in relationships than dealing with conflict. There are 

both constructive and destructive ways to approach it. Here are four 

responses to help tame your tongue in conflict: 

1. Obey the 101% Principle. 

What’s that? “Find the 1% that you agree on and give it 100% of your 

effort.” Writer Cullen Hightower said, “There’s too much said for the sake of 

argument and too little said for the sake of agreement.” The first and best 

response when conflict emerges in a relationship is to actively search for 

the areas where you already agree. It’s the quickest way to start moving the 

conflict toward resolution. 

2. Love people more than opinions. 

Do you know anyone who does the opposite? How much conflict does he 

or she experience in life? It’s my belief that anyone who loves his opinions 

more than his friends will defend his opinions and destroy his friends. 

Focus on the relationship over and above the issue, and you’ll bring mercy 

to a messy table. 

3. Give others the benefit of the doubt. 

I’ve often said that to handle yourself, you should use your head. But to 

handle others, you should use your heart. It’s natural to do the opposite: To 

let ourselves off the hook while we demand perfection from others. Assume 

right motives from the person you’re in conflict with. This defuses 

defensiveness and allows you both to focus on solving the problem at 

hand. 

4. Learn to be flexible. 

Thomas Jefferson famously said, “In matters of principle, stand like a rock. 

In matters of taste, swim with the current.” Ask yourself two important 

questions: “Does this really make a difference?” and “Will I care about this 

tomorrow?” If you answer “no,” then perhaps you can compromise on your 

position. 



"You Are What You Speak” 

Fill Your Mouth with Life, Not Death (Proverbs 18:21) 

Use this worksheet over the next 7 days to measure your mouth by 

counting the number of words you use throughout the day that give 

life or take it away. An estimate is the goal not an exact number. 

Words of Life 

Words of Death 

Sample IIII IIII I IIII III 

Day 1 

Day 2 

Day 3 

Day 4 

Day 5 

Day 6 

Day 7 

TOTAL 

WORDS 

After 7 days, what have the following words revealed about 

you? 

“The words you speak will all depend 

on what’s filling your heart.” 



Grateful Words 

Take a few minutes to complete the Grateful Words worksheet and 

share with your group. This exercise helps you to train your tongue in 

the language of gratitude and praise. These prompts cover multiple 

areas of life and dive deeper into your sense of gratitude. Instead of 

just helping you identify what you are grateful for, this worksheet digs 

into why you are grateful. 

1. “I am grateful for my family because…” 

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2. “Something good happened this week…” 

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3. “I am grateful for my friendship with… because…” 

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4. “I am grateful for who I am because…” 

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5. “Something silly that I am grateful for…” 

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6. “Something else I am grateful for…” 

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Circles of Life 

Discover Who Your Can Connect Deeper With In Christ 

Use this chart to help carry out one of the values in the Group Guidelines 

to “Welcome Newcomers” to your next Small Group connection. 

Family 

(immediate or extended) 

Fellowship 

(church relationships) 

Friends 

(neighbors, kids, sports, 

schools etc.) 

Fun 

(gym, hobbies, hangouts) 

Firm 

(work, professional arena) 

Follow this simple three-step process: 

1. List one to two people in each circle. 

2. Prayerfully select one person or couple from your list and tell your group 

about them. 

3. Give them a call and invite them to your next group connection. Over fifty 

percent of those invited to a small group say, “Yes!” 


64 | Table Talk 

SMALL GROUP 

RESOURCES



CONGRATULATIONS! As the host of your small group, you have 

responded to the call to help encourage God’s flock. A few other tasks in 

the family of God surpassed a contribution you will be making. As you 

prepare to host your group, whether it is one session for the entire series, 

here are a few thoughts to keep in mind. 

Remember you are not alone. God knows everything about you, and he 

knew you would be asked to host a group. You may not feel ready; this is 

common for all good host. God promises," I will never leave you; I will 

never forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Whether you're hosting for one 

evening, several weeks, or for a lifetime, you will be blessed as you serve. 

1. DON'T TRY TO DO IT ALONE. If you can enlist a cohost to help you, 

you will find your experience much richer. This is your chance to involve as 

many people as you can and build a healthy group. All you have to do is 

asked people to help. You will be surprised at the response. 

2. BE YOURSELF. God wants to use your unique gifts and temperament. 

Be sure to greet people with a big smile, this can set the mood for the 

whole Group connection. Remember, they're taking as big of a step 

showing up as you are hosting a small group! Don't try to be perfect or 

pretend that you have all the answers. Your group will love you forever and 

you'll sleep better at night. 

3. PRAY FOR YOUR GROUP MEMBERS BY NAME. Ask God to use your 

time together to touch the heart of each person in your group. Expect God 

to lead you to whomever he wants you to encourage or challenges special 

way. If you listen, God will surely lead. 




4. WHEN YOU ASK QUESTIONS, BE PATIENT. 

Someone will eventually respond. Sometimes people need a moment or 

two to think about that question. If silence doesn't bother you, it won't 

bother anyone else. If someone in your group is a wallflower who sit silently 

through every session, consider talking to that person privately and 

encouraging them to participate. Let them know how important they are to 

the group, and remember, still water often runs deep. 

5. PROVIDE TRANSITIONS BETWEEN QUESTIONS. 

Ask if anyone would like to read the question or Bible verses. Don't call 

anyone, but ask for volunteers, and then be patient until someone begins. 

Be sure to thank the person who reads aloud. 

6. BREAK UP INTO SMALLER GROUPS OCCASIONALLY. 

With a greater opportunity to talk in the smaller circle, people will connect 

more with the study, apply more quickly what they're learning, and 

ultimately get more out of their small group experience. The smaller circle 

also encourages quite people to participate and tends to minimize the 

effects of a more vocal or dominant members. Smaller circles are also 

helpful during prayer time. People who are unaccustomed to praying out 

loud will feel more comfortable with just two or three others. As you ask 

people in the group to facilitate discussion or lead a prayer circle, it gives 

them a small leadership step that can build confidence. 

7. ROTATE HOST OCCASIONALLY. 

You maybe perfectly capable of hosting each time, but it will help others 

grow in their faith and gifts if you give them opportunity to host the group. 

That may be in the same location or a new location of choice. 




8. ONE FINAL CHALLENGE FOR NEW OR FIRST-TIME HOST. Before 

your first opportunity to host, look up each of the three passages listed 

below. Read each one as a devotional exercise to help you prepare your 

heart to host. If you do this, you will be more than ready for your first group 

connection. 

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they 

were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. He said to 

his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to 

the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more 

workers into his fields.” - Matthew 9:36-38 (NLT) 

“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me, 

just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my 

life for the sheep. - John 10:14-15 (NLT) 

Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with 

Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the 

Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete 

by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of 

one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in 

humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own 

interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 5 In your 

relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ 

Jesus. - Philippians 2:1-5 (NIV) 

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly 

cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we 

were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also 

our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. just as you 

know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each 

one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk 

in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom 

and glory. - 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8, 11-12 (NASB) 



FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 

HOW LONG WILL THIS GROUP MEET? 

This study includes six sessions. We encourage your group to add an extra 

session for a celebration. At that time, you may also want to discuss group 

values, and decide which study you want to do next. We recommend you 

visit your Journey to Maturity website for more small group studies. 

WHO IS THE HOST? 

The host is the person who facilitates your group connections. We 

encourage you to select one or more group members to facilitate your 

group discussions. Several other responsibilities can be rotated, including 

refreshments, prayer request, or keeping up with those who may miss a 

meeting. Shared ownership in the group helps everyone grow. 

WHERE DO YOU FIND NEW GROUP MEMBERS? 

Recruiting new members can be a challenge for groups, especially new 

groups with just a few people. For existing groups that lose a few people 

along the way we encourage you to use the Circles of Life diagram in the 

study guide to brainstorm a list of people from your workplace, 

neighborhood, church, and so on. Then pray for the people on each 

member’s list. 

HOW DO WE DISCIPLE CHILDREN IN OUR GROUP? 

This is a sensitive issue I would suggest you discuss creative solutions as a 

group. One common solution is, the adults could rotate the responsibility of 

providing a lesson for the kids for 10 to 20 minutes. After which they can 

fellowship with each other to build stronger relationships. If there is a 

teenager in the group, he or she can help with the discipleship process 

with younger children. 



SMALL GROUP GUIDELINES 

It's a good idea for every group to put words in the shared values, 

expectations, and commitments. Such guidelines will help you avoid 

unspoken agendas and unmet expectations. We recommend you discuss 

your guidelines during session 1. Feel free to modify anything that does not 

work for your group. 

WE AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING VALUES: 

Clear Purpose To grow healthy, spiritual lives by building a healthy small 

group community. 

Group Attendance To give priority to the group meeting (call if I am 

absent or late) 

Safe Environment To create a safe place where people can be heard and 

feel loved (no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes 

Be Confidential To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and 

within the group 

Conflict Resolution To avoid gossip and to immediately resolve any 

concerns by following the principles of Matthew 18:15-17 

Spiritual Health To give group members permission to speak into my life 

and help me live a healthy, balanced spiritual life that is pleasing to God 

Welcome Newcomers To invite friends who might benefit from this study 

and warmly welcome newcomers 

Building Relationships To get to know the other members of the group 

and pray for them regularly. 



OUR PRAYERS AND PRAISE 

This is a place where you can write each other's request for prayer. You can 

also make a note when God answers prayer. Prefer each other's request. If 

you're new to group prayer, it's okay to pray silently or to pray using just 

one sentence: 

"God, please help _____________________ to _________________________." 

DATE/PERSON PRAYER REQUEST PRAISE REPORT 

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DATE/PERSON PRAYER REQUEST PRAISE REPORT 

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SMALL GROUP CALENDAR 

Healthy groups share responsibilities and groups ownership. It might take 

some time for this to develop. Shared ownership ensures that responsibility 

for the group doesn't fall to one person. Use this calendar to keep track of 

social events, birthdays, or breaks. Complete this calendar at your first or 

second meeting. Planning ahead will increase attendance in shared 

ownership. Feel free to share who facilitated the questions in this study 

guide and brings a snack or potluck meal. 

DATE SESSION FACILITATOR SNACKS/MEAL 

ONE 

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TWO 

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THREE 

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FOUR 

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FIVE 

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SIX 

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CELEBRATIONS 

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SMALL GROUP ROSTER 

NAME PHONE EMAIL 

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KaTonya Hamilton (706) 627-5479 or katonyahamilton@gmail.com 

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SMALL GROUP COORDINATOR 


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Table Talk Study Guide

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