Table Talk Study Guide
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Series <strong>Study</strong> <strong>Guide</strong><br />
Leslie B. James
Let the words of my<br />
mouth and the<br />
meditation of my heart<br />
be acceptable in your<br />
sight, O LORD, my rock<br />
and my redeemer.<br />
Psalm 19:14 (ESV)<br />
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PHOTO AND SCRIPTURE<br />
“Be careful with<br />
your words. Once<br />
they are said, they<br />
can be only<br />
forgiven, not<br />
forgotten.”
Leslie B James<br />
TABLE TALK
CONTENTS<br />
UNDERSTANDING YOUR<br />
STUDY GUIDE<br />
GOING DEEPER IN YOUR<br />
SMALL GROUP<br />
SESSION ONE:<br />
MERCY FOR A MESSY TABLE<br />
SESSION TWO:<br />
A MOUTH FULL OF WORDS<br />
SESSION THREE:<br />
YOU ARE WHAT YOU SPEAK<br />
SESSION FOUR:<br />
TASTE BEFORE YOU SERVE<br />
SESSION FIVE:<br />
CHEW BEFORE YOU SWALLOW<br />
SESSION SIX:<br />
PASS THE SALT<br />
1 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
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RESOURCES<br />
TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />
A PRAYER TO TAME MY TONGUE<br />
TABLE TALK SURVEY<br />
TAMING MY TONGUE IN CONFLICT<br />
YOU ARE WHAT YOU SPEAK WORKSHEET<br />
GRATEFUL WORDS<br />
CIRCLES OF LIFE<br />
SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />
HELP FOR HOSTS<br />
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS<br />
SMALL GROUP GUIDELINES<br />
OUR PRAYERS AND PRAISE<br />
SMALL GROUP CALENDAR<br />
SMALL GROUP ROSTER<br />
NOTES<br />
3 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
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UNDERSTANDING<br />
YOUR STUDY GUIDE<br />
Here is a brief explanation of the features of this study guide.<br />
SERMON NOTES<br />
KEY QUESTION<br />
Bring this book to church during the<br />
series campaign. Use these pages to<br />
take notes on the weekly sermon. Fill<br />
in the blanks in the lesson outline as<br />
you listen, and be sure to refer back to<br />
the outline during your discussion<br />
time.<br />
Each week, you will find a question<br />
that allows you to go beyond the<br />
sermon. This question also serves<br />
like the rudder on a boat to steer<br />
your conversations during the week.<br />
KEY VERSE<br />
SMALL GROUP CONNECTION<br />
Being a member of our church family is<br />
much more than attending worship<br />
services. God has hardwired us for<br />
relationships and Biblical community.<br />
Gathering to apply Biblical principles in<br />
Small Groups with people of similar<br />
age, stage of life, or interest connects<br />
us with Christ and each other. Groups<br />
are where we can actually “do life”<br />
t o g e t h e r a s p e o p l e w h o a r e<br />
discovering and pursuing God’s<br />
design. <br />
GROUP CHECK IN<br />
Each week you will find a key Bible<br />
verse for your group to focus<br />
together. If someone in the group<br />
has a different translation, ask them<br />
to read it out loud so the group can<br />
get a bigger picture of the meaning<br />
of the passage.<br />
LET’S MAKE IT HAPPEN<br />
We don’t just want you to be hearers<br />
of the Word, we also need to be<br />
doers of the Word (James 1:22). This<br />
section contains suggestions for<br />
your group and for you to individually<br />
apply the things you are learning.<br />
Begin each group conversation by<br />
briefly discussing a question that will<br />
help focus everyone’s attention on the<br />
subject of the lesson.<br />
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A TIP FOR THE HOST<br />
The study guide material is meant to be your servant, not your master. The point is not<br />
to race through the sessions- the point is to take time to let the Holy Spirit have his way<br />
in your lives. Give your group time to explore the questions and process what they<br />
learned in each session. It is not necessary to “go around the circle” before you move<br />
on to the next question. Let your group know they have the freedom to speak up and<br />
share, but don’t insist. Your group will enjoy deeper, more open sharing and discussion<br />
if there is an atmosphere of acceptance and they don’t feel pressure to speak up. Have<br />
fun!
GOING DEEPER IN<br />
YOUR SMALL<br />
GROUP<br />
Follow these simple steps for a<br />
healthy small group connections:<br />
• It is encouraged to have something<br />
to consume at each connection.<br />
This can be as simple as a snack,<br />
beverage or a potluck meal. You<br />
can use the SMALL GROUP<br />
CALENDAR to take turns or<br />
organize a meal. <br />
• Open your group connection by<br />
using the CHECKING IN section in<br />
this study guide.<br />
• Each week, your group follows a<br />
simple discussion guide which<br />
allows you to (1) Opening<br />
Discussion-Feel (2)Bible<br />
Observation-Think, and (3)<br />
Application-Do.<br />
• Each week you should end with a<br />
prayer for each other but especially<br />
the “open seat.” This seat<br />
represents the neighbor, coworker,<br />
family member and nonbelievers<br />
who are looking for godly<br />
relationships.<br />
7 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
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A Word About Words<br />
Our God is a speaking God. The Bible tells us that the universe was created by<br />
the word of God (Hebrews 11:3) and that he holds it together by the word of his<br />
power (Hebrews 1:3). That means everything we see is a word of God, and many<br />
things we don’t understand, like every angel and demon, every galaxy and quark<br />
in existence. One could rightly say God speaks a lot. And every time He spoke it<br />
was good. In contrast to God, since the fall of man, the human tongue has<br />
always been “a restless evil,” “a world of unrighteousness,” setting whole forests<br />
of humanity on fire (James 3:5–8). <br />
But never before have so many been able to say so much in so many ways.<br />
Satan, the “prince of the power of the air” (Ephesians 2:2), has filled the<br />
airwaves, cyber-waves, print-waves, brainwaves, and every other wave of<br />
human communication with hurtful words. He is the father of lies (John 8:44) and<br />
wields power over the world (1 John 5:19). He is working to exponentially<br />
increase words, and in doing so, to increase the snares of human transgression.<br />
The tornado of words is now a raging Category 5 hurricane. James nails us when<br />
he says, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not<br />
this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1) God knows that we<br />
need to be told this. But it’s not that we don’t already do this. We often admit it<br />
to ourselves in the privacy of our own thoughts. We just have such a difficult time<br />
admitting it to someone else. <br />
How many times following a conflict, once we’re alone, have we felt convicted<br />
over the wrong way we spoke to or treated someone? How many times have we<br />
then fantasized the kind, loving things we wish we would have said, and<br />
rehearsed the forgiveness and reconciliation we wanted? And then how many<br />
times, when it comes to actually saying something to the person, have we found<br />
it suddenly so hard to own up to our sin, and so started softening and qualifying<br />
our apology? Sometimes resurrecting the conflict rather than resolving it. <br />
Let’s be forthright, honest, courageous and humble. Jesus was amazingly blunt<br />
at times. Love sometimes sounds like that. He could have easily been accused<br />
of callousness or lovelessness. But we know he was the most loving person who<br />
ever lived. So let’s follow him in this matter. He died for us so that all the logs<br />
and specks in our eyes may be forgiven. This should give us both courage and<br />
care in communicating with others. Especially when we realize that the faults of<br />
our brothers and sisters have also been forgiven by Jesus. <br />
Serving at the King’s pleasure, <br />
Leslie B. James<br />
9 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Week<br />
One
Sermon Notes<br />
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SESSION ONE<br />
MERCY FOR A<br />
MESSY TABLE<br />
CHECKING IN<br />
Before you begin this study, review the Small Group<br />
<strong>Guide</strong>lines of this study guide. <br />
KEY QUESTION<br />
Can I spot a messy conversation before it happens?<br />
KEY VERSE<br />
"Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the<br />
door of my lips!" Psalm 141:3 (ESV)<br />
13 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
SESSION ONE<br />
MERCY FOR A<br />
MESSY TABLE<br />
Consider how God made my lips to be a door to my words, so that no<br />
word may be allowed to go out which may dishonor God, or hurt others.<br />
David didn’t want the same mouth that prayed as incense to be used for<br />
lies or any evil thing. He asked God to keep watch over the door of my<br />
lips so that he would not say evil or foolish things.<br />
First, our God-given ability to communicate makes us unique<br />
in all of _________________________.<br />
•<br />
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let<br />
them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the<br />
heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every<br />
creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” Genesis 1:26 (ESV)<br />
• As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness; when I awake, I shall<br />
be satisfied with your likeness. Psalm 17:15 (ESV)<br />
• then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed<br />
into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.<br />
Genesis 2:7 (ESV)<br />
Second, the first words human ears ever heard came from the<br />
mouth of ___________________________.<br />
• Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and<br />
govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the<br />
animals that scurry along the ground.” Then God said, “Look! I have given<br />
you every seed-bearing plant throughout the earth and all the fruit trees for<br />
your food. And I have given every green plant as food for all the wild<br />
animals, the birds in the sky, and the small animals that scurry along the<br />
ground—everything that has life.” And that is what happened. Genesis<br />
1:28-30 (NLT)<br />
14 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
• The voice of the Lord is powerful; the voice of the Lord is full of majesty.<br />
Psalm 29:4 (ESV)<br />
• In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word<br />
was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through<br />
him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. John 1:1–3<br />
(ESV)<br />
Third, sin has radically distorted our ________________________,<br />
resulting in much hurt, confusion and chaos.<br />
• The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit,<br />
and I ate it.” Then the Lord God asked the woman, “What have you done?”<br />
“The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” Genesis<br />
3:12-13 (NLT)<br />
• All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that does not lead to death. 1 John<br />
5:17 (ESV)<br />
• for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, Romans 3:23 (ESV)<br />
“Raise your words, not<br />
your voice. It is rain<br />
that grows flowers,<br />
not thunder.”<br />
15 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Small Group Connection<br />
Opening Discussion<br />
1. How much did you talk yesterday? Can you remember half of what you<br />
said?<br />
2. Where could your mouth have been more merciful? <br />
3. What does a merciful person look and sound like? <br />
Observation Questions about Psalm 141:3<br />
1. Why was it so important for David to make this request of God?<br />
2. What does the language of David’s prayer reveal about him?<br />
3. How does God answer this prayer? <br />
Summary Discussion<br />
1. Why is it that all of us get into talk trouble? <br />
2. Can you think of a time when words have had a major impact on you or<br />
on those around you? <br />
16 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Let’s Make It<br />
Happen<br />
We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />
Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />
(James 1:22). This section contains<br />
suggestions for your group and for you to<br />
individually apply the things you are<br />
learning.<br />
In Your Group<br />
Praying Together<br />
Turn to Our Prayer and<br />
Praise and write down each<br />
other’s breakthrough prayer<br />
requests. Prayer for those<br />
requests now. <br />
Commit to praying for each<br />
other every day this week.<br />
Let your group know you’ve<br />
prayed for them with a quick<br />
text, call or handwritten note.<br />
Before you begin praying as a group,<br />
share your individual prayer requests<br />
based on what stood out to you as an<br />
area of growth in this group connection.<br />
Now pray as a group. Remember to start<br />
with praise, then make your request to<br />
God.<br />
In Your Life<br />
Take a few minutes between your next<br />
group meeting to take the <strong>Talk</strong> Survey.<br />
17 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Week<br />
Two
Sermon Notes<br />
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SESSION TWO<br />
A MOUTH FULL OF<br />
WORDS<br />
CHECKING IN<br />
Before you begin this study, would anyone like to share their<br />
observations from the <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong> Survey from last week?<br />
KEY QUESTION<br />
Am I making my words count, or just counting my words?<br />
KEY VERSE<br />
""When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but<br />
whoever restrains his lips is prudent." (Proverbs 10:19 ESV)<br />
21 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Session Two<br />
A Mouth Full of Words<br />
Take heed to the warnings of having a mouth full of empty words, so that<br />
we avoid the traps of talking too much. For many people, the more they<br />
talk, the more they will sin. Many of us could bless others and keep<br />
ourselves from sin by merely speaking less and restraining our lips.<br />
Excessive talk opens the door to ___________________________<br />
• For a dream comes with much business, and a fool’s voice with many<br />
words. Ecclesiastes 5:3<br />
• Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold<br />
their tongues.” Proverbs 17:28<br />
• “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.”<br />
Proverbs 21:23<br />
• “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his<br />
lips shall have destruction.” Proverbs 13:3<br />
Excessive talk fuels ___________________________<br />
• “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of<br />
friends.” Proverbs 16:28 NLT<br />
• “A gossip goes around telling secrets, so don’t hang around with<br />
chatterers.” Proverbs 20:19 NLT<br />
• “Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.”<br />
Proverbs 26:20 NLT<br />
22 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Excessive talk is the enemy of ___________________________<br />
• “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.”<br />
Proverbs 18:13 NLT<br />
• “Cease listening, my son, to discipline, And you will stray from the words of<br />
knowledge.” Proverbs 19:27 NASB<br />
Excessive talk is often ___________________________<br />
• “In all labor there is profit, But mere talk leads only to poverty.” Proverbs<br />
14:23 NASB<br />
• “At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house<br />
to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking<br />
about things not proper to mention.” 1 Timothy 5:13 NASB<br />
• “But I tell you that every careless word that people speak, they shall give an<br />
accounting for it in the day of judgment.” Matthew 12:36 NASB<br />
"Words are free. It's<br />
how you use them that<br />
may cost you.”<br />
23 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Small Group Connection<br />
Opening Discussion<br />
1. On a scale of 1-10, where do you rank on the talkative scale?<br />
2. Who was perhaps the most talkative of Jesus’ disciples? What can<br />
we learn from his shortcomings?<br />
3. How has our numerous channels for sharing encouraged excessive<br />
talking?<br />
Observation of Proverbs 10:19<br />
1. What does this Proverb reveal about the government of the tongue?<br />
2. What is the relationship between the quantity of words and the<br />
likelihood of sin?<br />
Summary Discussion<br />
1. Is it a sin to talk too much?<br />
2. Think of a time when it would have been wiser to stay silent. What<br />
was the result of you speaking?<br />
3. What do you regret saying, either recently or in the distant past? How<br />
can you preach the gospel to yourself about that regret?<br />
4. When do you find it most challenging to cut your words in half?<br />
5. What can you do to mature this area?<br />
24 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Let’s Make It<br />
Happen<br />
We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />
Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />
(James 1:22). This section contains<br />
suggestions for your group and for you to<br />
individually apply the things you are<br />
learning.<br />
In Your Group<br />
Praying Together<br />
Turn to Our Prayer and<br />
Praise and write down each<br />
other’s breakthrough prayer<br />
requests. Prayer for those<br />
requests now. <br />
Commit to praying for each<br />
other every day this week.<br />
Let your group know you’ve<br />
prayed for them with a quick<br />
text, call or handwritten note.<br />
Before you begin praying as a group, share<br />
your individual prayer requests based on<br />
what stood out to you as an area of growth<br />
in this group connection. Now pray as a<br />
group. Remember to start with praise, then<br />
make your request to God.<br />
In Your Life<br />
Turn to the A Prayer To Tame My Tongue<br />
and repeat it as often as you need<br />
throughout the week.<br />
25 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Week<br />
Three
Sermon Notes<br />
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SESSION THREE<br />
YOU ARE WHAT<br />
YOU SPEAK<br />
CHECKING IN<br />
Before you begin this study, did God do anything unique<br />
since praying to tame your tongue?<br />
KEY QUESTION<br />
What do my words say about me?<br />
KEY VERSE<br />
"A good person produces good things from the treasury of a<br />
good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the<br />
treasury of an evil heart. What you say flows from what is in<br />
your heart." Luke 6:43-45 (NLT)<br />
29 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Session Three<br />
You Are What You Speak<br />
Learn to listen attentively, so that we resist the urge to respond and<br />
respect the words of others. It is common to give a quick, impulsive<br />
answer to questions and problems. We react without thinking, or without<br />
hearing the full story, sometimes more interested in what we hope to say<br />
than what the matter before us really is.<br />
Your tongue is a window into your ___________________________<br />
• The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can<br />
understand it? Jeremiah 17:9 ESV<br />
• Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.<br />
Proverbs 4:23 ESV<br />
• As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man. Proverbs<br />
27:19<br />
Your heart is not completely free from<br />
___________________________<br />
• Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light<br />
and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!<br />
Isaiah 5:20 ESV<br />
• The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of<br />
evil and perverted speech I hate. Proverbs 8:13 ESV<br />
• “And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and<br />
that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil<br />
continually.” Genesis 6:5<br />
30 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
• “For from the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, all sexual<br />
immorality, theft, lying, and slander.” Matthew 15:19<br />
• “This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men<br />
loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil.” John<br />
3:19<br />
We blame our evil speech on outside ___________________________<br />
• But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own<br />
desire. James 1:14<br />
• You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else,<br />
for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself,<br />
because you who pass judgment do the same things. Romans 2:1<br />
• When I refused to confess my sin, my whole body wasted away, while I<br />
groaned in pain all day long. For day and night you tormented me; you<br />
tried to destroy me in the intense heat of summer. Psalm 32:3-4<br />
• Whoever hides his transgressions will not succeed, but whoever<br />
confesses and forsakes them will find mercy. Blessed is the man who<br />
always fears the Lord, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into disaster.<br />
Proverbs 28:13-14<br />
“Spiritual maturity is<br />
evidenced by the use of<br />
the tongue.”<br />
31 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Small Group Connection<br />
Opening Discussion<br />
1. Do your words from last week reveal a willingness to serve others, or<br />
do they reflect an entitled attitude to be served? <br />
2. How careless were your words yesterday? How can you take your<br />
talk more seriously today? <br />
3. Our tendency is to monitor our mouth while ignoring our hearts. But<br />
how do you monitor your heart? <br />
Observation of Luke 6:43-45<br />
1. How does this section relate to Jesus' warning to judge ourselves<br />
first in verses 39-42? <br />
2. According to verses 43-45, what does the fruit represent? <br />
3. What are the similarities and differences between a good man’s heart<br />
and and evil man’s heart? <br />
Summary Discussion<br />
1. When others were blessed while you struggled, what did your lips<br />
reveal about the state of your heart? <br />
2. Think of a "heart-to-heart" conversation where you lied to yourself?<br />
What was the result? <br />
3. Think of a "heart-to-heart" conversation where you spoke Truth?<br />
What was the result? <br />
4. Apply James 4:7-8. How can you take practical steps to submit to<br />
God, resist the devil, draw near to God, cleanse your hands, and<br />
purify your hearts? <br />
32 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Let’s Make It<br />
Happen<br />
We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />
Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />
(James 1:22). This section contains<br />
suggestions for your group and for you to<br />
individually apply the things you are<br />
learning.<br />
In Your Group<br />
Before you begin praying as a group, share<br />
your individual prayer requests based on<br />
what stood out to you as an area of growth<br />
in this group connection. Now pray as a<br />
group. Remember to start with praise, then<br />
make your request to God.<br />
Praying Together<br />
Turn to Our Prayer and<br />
Praise and write down each<br />
other’s breakthrough prayer<br />
requests. Prayer for those<br />
requests now. <br />
Commit to praying for each<br />
other every day this week.<br />
Let your group know you’ve<br />
prayed for them with a quick<br />
text, call or handwritten<br />
note.<br />
In Your Life<br />
Take a few minutes between your next group<br />
meeting to read the sections, “You Are What<br />
You Speak” to help you get a gauge of what’s<br />
in your heart.<br />
33 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Week<br />
Four
Sermon Notes<br />
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SESSION FOUR<br />
TASTE BEFORE YOU<br />
SERVE<br />
CHECKING IN<br />
Before you begin this study, how did you do on the You Are<br />
What You Speak worksheet?<br />
KEY QUESTION<br />
What do my word taste like before I serve them to others?<br />
KEY VERSE<br />
"From the fruit of a man's mouth his stomach is satisfied; he<br />
is satisfied by the yield of his lips. Death and life are in the<br />
power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits".<br />
Proverbs 18:20-21 (ESV)<br />
37 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Session Four<br />
Taste Before You Serve<br />
Learn to listen attentively, so that we resist the urge to respond and<br />
respect the words of others. It is common to give a quick, impulsive<br />
answer to questions and problems. We react without thinking, or without<br />
hearing the full story, sometimes more interested in what we hope to say<br />
than what the matter before us really is.<br />
Think ___________________________<br />
• Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just,<br />
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any<br />
excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.<br />
Philippians 4:8 ESV <br />
• Philippians 4:5 Let everyone see that you are considerate in all you do.<br />
Remember, the Lord is coming soon. <br />
• Titus 3:2 to malign no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing every<br />
consideration for all men. <br />
Speak ___________________________<br />
• “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in<br />
your sight, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.” Psalm 19:14 (ESV) <br />
• “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Proverbs<br />
25:11 (ESV) <br />
• “…for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be<br />
condemned.” Matthew 12:37 (ESV) <br />
38 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Rest in ___________________________<br />
• And he said, “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Exodus<br />
33:14<br />
• For whoever has entered God's rest has also rested from his works as God did<br />
from his. Hebrews 4:10<br />
• Therefore, while the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us fear lest any<br />
of you should seem to have failed to reach it. For good news came to us just as<br />
to them, but the message they heard did not benefit them, because they were not<br />
united by faith with those who listened. For we who have believed enter that<br />
rest, as he has said, “As I swore in my wrath, ‘They shall not enter my rest,’”<br />
although his works were finished from the foundation of the world. For he has<br />
somewhere spoken of the seventh day in this way: “And God rested on the<br />
seventh day from all his works.” And again in this passage he said, “They shall<br />
not enter my rest.” … Hebrews 4:1-16<br />
Forgive ___________________________<br />
• “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be<br />
condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; Luke 6:37 ESV<br />
• For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive<br />
you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father<br />
forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15 ESV<br />
• Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving<br />
each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians<br />
3:13 ESV<br />
“Poor listening diminishes<br />
another person, while good<br />
listening invites them to exist<br />
and matter.”<br />
39 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Small Group Connection<br />
Opening Discussion<br />
1. Do your words from last week reveal that you are resting in God's plan<br />
or wrestling with it? <br />
2. Does your communication with others reveal a frustration or joy with<br />
whom God has sovereignly placed in your life? <br />
Observation of Proverbs 18:20-21<br />
1. According to verse 20, what does your “belly” represent? <br />
2. What is the relationship between your speech and your success? <br />
3. How can someone ruin their life by not ruling their mouth? <br />
Summary Discussion<br />
1. Who is currently agitating you with their careless words? How does the<br />
gospel inform and transform the way you respond to them? <br />
2. What was the last argument you engaged in? Rewind the audio of that<br />
conversation. <br />
3. Did you attempt to use words to repair conflict, or were your words<br />
chosen to "win" at the expense of another? <br />
4. How can you use powerful words this week to build up and restore? <br />
40 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Let’s Make It<br />
Happen<br />
We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />
Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />
(James 1:22). This section contains<br />
suggestions for your group and for you to<br />
individually apply the things you are<br />
learning.<br />
In Your Group<br />
Praying Together<br />
Turn to Our Prayer and<br />
Praise and write down each<br />
other’s breakthrough prayer<br />
requests. Prayer for those<br />
requests now. <br />
Commit to praying for each<br />
other every day this week. Let<br />
your group know you’ve<br />
prayed for them with a quick<br />
text, call or handwritten note.<br />
Before you begin praying as a group, share<br />
your individual prayer requests based on<br />
what stood out to you as an area of growth<br />
in this group connection. Now pray as a<br />
group. Remember to start with praise, then<br />
make your request to God.<br />
In Your Life<br />
Take a few minutes between your next<br />
group meeting to review the Taming My<br />
Tongue In Conflict guide. Which is most<br />
challenging and which comes easiest to<br />
you.<br />
41 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Week<br />
Five
Sermon Notes<br />
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SESSION FIVE<br />
CHEW BEFORE YOU<br />
SWALLOW<br />
CHECKING IN<br />
Before you begin this study, which of the four points seems<br />
most challenging from the Taming My Tongue In Conflict<br />
guide. <br />
KEY QUESTION<br />
Am I really listening or just waiting to be heard?<br />
KEY VERSE<br />
"If one gives an answer before he hears, it is his folly and<br />
shame." Proverbs 18:13 (ESV)<br />
45 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Session Five<br />
Chew Before You Swallow<br />
Learn to listen attentively, so that we resist the urge to respond and<br />
respect the words of others. It is common to give a quick, impulsive<br />
answer to questions and problems. We react without thinking, or without<br />
hearing the full story, sometimes more interested in what we hope to say<br />
than what the matter before us really is.<br />
Good listening requires ___________________________.<br />
• The end of something is better than its beginning. Patience is better than pride.<br />
(Ecclesiastes 7:8)<br />
• You are the people of God; he loved you and chose you for his own. So then,<br />
you must clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness,<br />
and patience. (Colossians 3:12)<br />
Good listening is an act of ___________________________.<br />
• He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his<br />
mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy<br />
Spirit, Titus 3:5 (NIV)<br />
• Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful. “Judge not, and you will not be<br />
judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will<br />
be forgiven; Luke 6:36-37 (ESV)<br />
Good listening is ___________________________.<br />
• 1 Corinthians 13:4 New Living Translation (NLT) 4 Love is patient and kind.<br />
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud<br />
• Philippians 2:3 New Living Translation (NLT) 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to<br />
impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.<br />
46 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Good listening prepares us to ___________________________.<br />
• A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.<br />
Proverbs 15:1 ESV<br />
• “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.<br />
Matthew 5:9 ESV<br />
• The beginning of strife is like letting out water, so quit before the<br />
quarrel breaks out. Proverbs 17:14 ESV<br />
Good listening reflects our relationship with<br />
___________________________.<br />
• I waited patiently for the Lord’s help; then he listened to me and heard<br />
my cry. (Psalm 40:1)<br />
• For judgment is without mercy to one who has shown no mercy. Mercy<br />
triumphs over judgment. James 2:13 ESV<br />
• Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I<br />
came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Matthew 9:13 ESV<br />
“You have two ears to hear, but<br />
only one mouth to speak; let<br />
this ratio dictate your<br />
emphasis.”<br />
47 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Small Group Connection<br />
Opening Discussion<br />
1. Why do most people find it so hard to listen to others?<br />
2. Who is the most difficult person or people to listen to?<br />
Observation of Proverbs 18:13<br />
1. What does this proverb suggest about the need for intentional listening?<br />
2. What is the risk or consequence of careless listening?<br />
Summary Discussion<br />
1. Did you respond poorly the last time someone confronted you? How can<br />
you be less defensive and more humble?<br />
2. Critique the way you confronted someone recently. How can you do better<br />
next time?<br />
3. How can you use words this week to encourage a friend to find their hope<br />
and satisfaction in Christ alone?<br />
48 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Let’s Make It<br />
Happen<br />
We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />
Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />
(James 1:22). This section contains<br />
suggestions for your group and for you to<br />
individually apply the things you are<br />
learning.<br />
In Your Group<br />
Praying Together<br />
Turn to Our Prayer and<br />
Praise and write down each<br />
other’s breakthrough prayer<br />
requests. Prayer for those<br />
requests now. <br />
Commit to praying for each<br />
other every day this week.<br />
Let your group know you’ve<br />
prayed for them with a quick<br />
text, call or handwritten note.<br />
Before you begin praying as a group, share<br />
your individual prayer requests based on<br />
what stood out to you as an area of growth<br />
in this group connection. Now pray as a<br />
group. Remember to start with praise, then<br />
make your request to God.<br />
In Your Life<br />
Complete the Grateful Words worksheet to<br />
training your tongue in the language of<br />
gratitude and praise.<br />
49 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Week<br />
Six
Sermon Notes<br />
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PHOTO
SESSION SIX<br />
PASS THE SALT<br />
CHECKING IN<br />
Before you begin this study, share a few things from your<br />
Grateful Words worksheet. <br />
KEY QUESTION<br />
Who is God leading me towards to share a kind word of<br />
encouragement?<br />
KEY VERSE<br />
"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so<br />
that you may know how you ought to answer each<br />
person."Colossians 4:6 (ESV)<br />
53 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Session Six<br />
Pass the <strong>Table</strong> Salt<br />
To cultivate the gift of pleasant and wise conversation, so that we may be<br />
able to speak appropriately, especially to those who are far from Christ.<br />
God cares both about the prayer closet and the public street. There also<br />
must be practical, lived-out Christianity, which lives wisely toward those<br />
who are outside of Christ. How we speak has a lot to do with this, so we<br />
must let our speech always be seasoned with grace.<br />
Consistency of life must be followed by consistency of<br />
___________________________.<br />
• “So all bore witness to Him, and marveled at the gracious words which<br />
proceeded out of His mouth. And they said, “Is this not Joseph’s son?”” Luke<br />
4:22 NKJV <br />
• “Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and<br />
helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear<br />
them.” Ephesians 4:29 NLT <br />
The speech of the new man must also be seasoned with<br />
___________________________.<br />
• “Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an<br />
enemy.” Proverbs 27:6 NLT <br />
• “For the Scriptures say, “If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days,<br />
keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.” 1 Peter<br />
3:10 NLT <br />
• “A soothing tongue is a tree of life, But perversion in it crushes the<br />
spirit.” Proverbs 15:4 NASB <br />
Believers must also know how to respond to each<br />
___________________________.<br />
• “but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a<br />
defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you,<br />
yet with gentleness and reverence;” 1 Peter 3:15 NASB <br />
• “Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we<br />
would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way.” James<br />
3:2 NLT <br />
54 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Small Group Connection<br />
Opening Discussion<br />
1. Have you ever used words of (flattery, guilt, threat, etc) to manipulate another<br />
person to do what you want? <br />
2. How do you feel when there’s a difficult conversation brewing with an<br />
unbeliever that you won’t be able to duck? <br />
Observation of Colossians 4:5-6<br />
1. According to verse 5, why would Paul need to write such an exhortation to<br />
Christians of his day? <br />
2. How do you "let your speech always be with [or in] grace"? <br />
3. What does it mean to be "seasoned with salt"? <br />
4. How does salt cultivate the gift of pleasant and wise conversation and shape<br />
our response to those who are outside of Christ? <br />
5. How do you "know how to respond to each person"? Why does he assume that<br />
people will say things that need to be responded to? <br />
Summary Discussion<br />
1. What was the last unsavory conversation you had or quarrel you engaged in<br />
with an unbeliever? <br />
2. Afterwards, did you attempt to make excuses for your words? Who or what<br />
did you blame? <br />
3. What did your words reveal about the desires of your heart? Be specific. <br />
4. How can talking too much be detrimental to our influence to nonbelievers? <br />
5. Today, what life-giving words can you share to exhort someone whom God<br />
has placed in your path? <br />
55 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
Let’s Make It<br />
Happen<br />
We don’t just want you to be hearers of the<br />
Word, we also need to be doers of the Word<br />
(James 1:22). This section contains<br />
suggestions for your group and for you to<br />
individually apply the things you are<br />
learning.<br />
In Your Group<br />
Praying Together<br />
Turn to Our Prayer and<br />
Praise and write down each<br />
other’s breakthrough prayer<br />
requests. Prayer for those<br />
requests now. <br />
Commit to praying for each<br />
other every day this week.<br />
Let your group know you’ve<br />
prayed for them with a quick<br />
text, call or handwritten note.<br />
Before you begin praying as a group, share<br />
your individual prayer requests based on<br />
what stood out to you as an area of growth<br />
in this group connection. Now pray as a<br />
group. Remember to start with praise, then<br />
make your request to God.<br />
In Your Life<br />
Take a few minutes to complete the Circle<br />
of Life worksheet to help you reach others<br />
more effectively.<br />
56 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
SERIES<br />
RESOURCES<br />
57 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />
A Prayer To Tame My Tongue<br />
Lord, I am asking today for a fresh revelation of the power of<br />
my words. I ask You to guard my tongue, giving me great<br />
self-control to only let pass through the gates of my mouth<br />
what will be helpful to others and pleasing to You. Please<br />
help me to see when I am about to speak without thinking<br />
and to check my heart. Help me be slow to speak.<br />
Lord, I know my tongue often gets ahead of my mind and<br />
heart. I am quick to speak and I repent of the many<br />
thoughtless things I have spoken, and for words I have<br />
spoken in anger or in gossip. Create in me a clean heart and<br />
renew a right spirit within me. Get me out of the pit of<br />
negativity and on top of the mountain with words that elevate<br />
You, others, and even myself.<br />
Forgive me for talking down on myself. I am fearfully and<br />
wonderfully made! My soul knows this full well, and I refuse to<br />
argue with my soul any longer. I reject anything other than<br />
Your Word which tells me I am a chosen person, a royal<br />
priest, and part of a holy nation!<br />
I thank You for transforming me from the inside out by<br />
changing the way that I think. I choose today to obey Your<br />
Word which instructs me to ponder only things that are true,<br />
honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable; I will<br />
think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. I<br />
turn my attention and my words to praise today to Your<br />
glorious name, for You are worthy of praise and You have<br />
made me worthy to be called Your child!<br />
In Jesus Name<br />
Amen!<br />
58 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />
<strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong> Survey<br />
Take a few minutes out of your day and take a test. Don’t be afraid; it’s<br />
not a pass-fail test, but I think it can help you evaluate the way you<br />
talk.<br />
Below are ten questions for your personal evaluation. Discuss them in your<br />
small group.<br />
1. Does your talk with others lead to problem solving?<br />
2. Does your talk with others have a 'me against them' or a 'standtogether'<br />
posture to it?<br />
3. Do your words encourage others to be open and honest about their true<br />
thoughts and feelings?<br />
4. Are you approachable and teachable or defensive and self-protective<br />
when talking to others?<br />
5. Is your communication healthy in its relationship to how it structures the<br />
relationships in your life?<br />
6. Does your talk encourage others and stimulate them to grow?<br />
7. Do you talk to others in order to develop relationships with them, or do<br />
you only talk to solve problems in times of trouble?<br />
8. Do you speak words of confession when necessary and words of<br />
forgiveness when needed?<br />
9. Do your words reflect a willingness to serve others or demand that you<br />
be served?<br />
10. As you face struggles in your talk, do you feel all alone, misunderstood,<br />
hopeless, and discouraged, or have you sought and found God’s help?<br />
59 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />
Taming My Tongue In Conflict<br />
Nothing is more messy in relationships than dealing with conflict. There are<br />
both constructive and destructive ways to approach it. Here are four<br />
responses to help tame your tongue in conflict:<br />
1. Obey the 101% Principle.<br />
What’s that? “Find the 1% that you agree on and give it 100% of your<br />
effort.” Writer Cullen Hightower said, “There’s too much said for the sake of<br />
argument and too little said for the sake of agreement.” The first and best<br />
response when conflict emerges in a relationship is to actively search for<br />
the areas where you already agree. It’s the quickest way to start moving the<br />
conflict toward resolution.<br />
2. Love people more than opinions.<br />
Do you know anyone who does the opposite? How much conflict does he<br />
or she experience in life? It’s my belief that anyone who loves his opinions<br />
more than his friends will defend his opinions and destroy his friends.<br />
Focus on the relationship over and above the issue, and you’ll bring mercy<br />
to a messy table.<br />
3. Give others the benefit of the doubt.<br />
I’ve often said that to handle yourself, you should use your head. But to<br />
handle others, you should use your heart. It’s natural to do the opposite: To<br />
let ourselves off the hook while we demand perfection from others. Assume<br />
right motives from the person you’re in conflict with. This defuses<br />
defensiveness and allows you both to focus on solving the problem at<br />
hand.<br />
4. Learn to be flexible.<br />
Thomas Jefferson famously said, “In matters of principle, stand like a rock.<br />
In matters of taste, swim with the current.” Ask yourself two important<br />
questions: “Does this really make a difference?” and “Will I care about this<br />
tomorrow?” If you answer “no,” then perhaps you can compromise on your<br />
position.<br />
60 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />
"You Are What You Speak”<br />
Fill Your Mouth with Life, Not Death (Proverbs 18:21)<br />
Use this worksheet over the next 7 days to measure your mouth by<br />
counting the number of words you use throughout the day that give<br />
life or take it away. An estimate is the goal not an exact number.<br />
Words of Life<br />
Words of Death<br />
Sample IIII IIII I IIII III<br />
Day 1<br />
Day 2<br />
Day 3<br />
Day 4<br />
Day 5<br />
Day 6<br />
Day 7<br />
TOTAL<br />
WORDS<br />
After 7 days, what have the following words revealed about<br />
you?<br />
“The words you speak will all depend<br />
on what’s filling your heart.”<br />
61 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />
Grateful Words<br />
Take a few minutes to complete the Grateful Words worksheet and<br />
share with your group. This exercise helps you to train your tongue in<br />
the language of gratitude and praise. These prompts cover multiple<br />
areas of life and dive deeper into your sense of gratitude. Instead of<br />
just helping you identify what you are grateful for, this worksheet digs<br />
into why you are grateful.<br />
1. “I am grateful for my family because…”<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
2. “Something good happened this week…”<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
3. “I am grateful for my friendship with… because…”<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
4. “I am grateful for who I am because…”<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
5. “Something silly that I am grateful for…”<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
6. “Something else I am grateful for…”<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
___________________________________________________________________<br />
62 | <strong>Table</strong> <strong>Talk</strong>
TABLE TALK RESOURCES<br />
Circles of Life<br />
Discover Who Your Can Connect Deeper With In Christ<br />
Use this chart to help carry out one of the values in the Group <strong>Guide</strong>lines<br />
to “Welcome Newcomers” to your next Small Group connection.<br />
Family<br />
(immediate or extended)<br />
Fellowship<br />
(church relationships)<br />
Friends<br />
(neighbors, kids, sports,<br />
schools etc.)<br />
Fun<br />
(gym, hobbies, hangouts)<br />
Firm<br />
(work, professional arena)<br />
Follow this simple three-step process:<br />
1. List one to two people in each circle.<br />
2. Prayerfully select one person or couple from your list and tell your group<br />
about them.<br />
3. Give them a call and invite them to your next group connection. Over fifty<br />
percent of those invited to a small group say, “Yes!”<br />
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SMALL GROUP<br />
RESOURCES
SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />
HELP FOR HOSTS<br />
CONGRATULATIONS! As the host of your small group, you have<br />
responded to the call to help encourage God’s flock. A few other tasks in<br />
the family of God surpassed a contribution you will be making. As you<br />
prepare to host your group, whether it is one session for the entire series,<br />
here are a few thoughts to keep in mind.<br />
Remember you are not alone. God knows everything about you, and he<br />
knew you would be asked to host a group. You may not feel ready; this is<br />
common for all good host. God promises," I will never leave you; I will<br />
never forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Whether you're hosting for one<br />
evening, several weeks, or for a lifetime, you will be blessed as you serve.<br />
1. DON'T TRY TO DO IT ALONE. If you can enlist a cohost to help you,<br />
you will find your experience much richer. This is your chance to involve as<br />
many people as you can and build a healthy group. All you have to do is<br />
asked people to help. You will be surprised at the response.<br />
2. BE YOURSELF. God wants to use your unique gifts and temperament.<br />
Be sure to greet people with a big smile, this can set the mood for the<br />
whole Group connection. Remember, they're taking as big of a step<br />
showing up as you are hosting a small group! Don't try to be perfect or<br />
pretend that you have all the answers. Your group will love you forever and<br />
you'll sleep better at night.<br />
3. PRAY FOR YOUR GROUP MEMBERS BY NAME. Ask God to use your<br />
time together to touch the heart of each person in your group. Expect God<br />
to lead you to whomever he wants you to encourage or challenges special<br />
way. If you listen, God will surely lead.<br />
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SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />
HELP FOR HOSTS<br />
4. WHEN YOU ASK QUESTIONS, BE PATIENT.<br />
Someone will eventually respond. Sometimes people need a moment or<br />
two to think about that question. If silence doesn't bother you, it won't<br />
bother anyone else. If someone in your group is a wallflower who sit silently<br />
through every session, consider talking to that person privately and<br />
encouraging them to participate. Let them know how important they are to<br />
the group, and remember, still water often runs deep.<br />
5. PROVIDE TRANSITIONS BETWEEN QUESTIONS.<br />
Ask if anyone would like to read the question or Bible verses. Don't call<br />
anyone, but ask for volunteers, and then be patient until someone begins.<br />
Be sure to thank the person who reads aloud.<br />
6. BREAK UP INTO SMALLER GROUPS OCCASIONALLY.<br />
With a greater opportunity to talk in the smaller circle, people will connect<br />
more with the study, apply more quickly what they're learning, and<br />
ultimately get more out of their small group experience. The smaller circle<br />
also encourages quite people to participate and tends to minimize the<br />
effects of a more vocal or dominant members. Smaller circles are also<br />
helpful during prayer time. People who are unaccustomed to praying out<br />
loud will feel more comfortable with just two or three others. As you ask<br />
people in the group to facilitate discussion or lead a prayer circle, it gives<br />
them a small leadership step that can build confidence.<br />
7. ROTATE HOST OCCASIONALLY.<br />
You maybe perfectly capable of hosting each time, but it will help others<br />
grow in their faith and gifts if you give them opportunity to host the group.<br />
That may be in the same location or a new location of choice.<br />
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SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />
HELP FOR HOSTS<br />
8. ONE FINAL CHALLENGE FOR NEW OR FIRST-TIME HOST. Before<br />
your first opportunity to host, look up each of the three passages listed<br />
below. Read each one as a devotional exercise to help you prepare your<br />
heart to host. If you do this, you will be more than ready for your first group<br />
connection.<br />
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them because they<br />
were confused and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. He said to<br />
his disciples, “The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to<br />
the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more<br />
workers into his fields.” - Matthew 9:36-38 (NLT)<br />
“I am the good shepherd; I know my own sheep, and they know me,<br />
just as my Father knows me and I know the Father. So I sacrifice my<br />
life for the sheep. - John 10:14-15 (NLT)<br />
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with<br />
Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the<br />
Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete<br />
by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of<br />
one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in<br />
humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own<br />
interests but each of you to the interests of the others. 5 In your<br />
relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ<br />
Jesus. - Philippians 2:1-5 (NIV)<br />
But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly<br />
cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we<br />
were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also<br />
our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. just as you<br />
know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each<br />
one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk<br />
in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom<br />
and glory. - 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8, 11-12 (NASB)<br />
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SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS<br />
HOW LONG WILL THIS GROUP MEET?<br />
This study includes six sessions. We encourage your group to add an extra<br />
session for a celebration. At that time, you may also want to discuss group<br />
values, and decide which study you want to do next. We recommend you<br />
visit your Journey to Maturity website for more small group studies.<br />
WHO IS THE HOST?<br />
The host is the person who facilitates your group connections. We<br />
encourage you to select one or more group members to facilitate your<br />
group discussions. Several other responsibilities can be rotated, including<br />
refreshments, prayer request, or keeping up with those who may miss a<br />
meeting. Shared ownership in the group helps everyone grow.<br />
WHERE DO YOU FIND NEW GROUP MEMBERS?<br />
Recruiting new members can be a challenge for groups, especially new<br />
groups with just a few people. For existing groups that lose a few people<br />
along the way we encourage you to use the Circles of Life diagram in the<br />
study guide to brainstorm a list of people from your workplace,<br />
neighborhood, church, and so on. Then pray for the people on each<br />
member’s list.<br />
HOW DO WE DISCIPLE CHILDREN IN OUR GROUP?<br />
This is a sensitive issue I would suggest you discuss creative solutions as a<br />
group. One common solution is, the adults could rotate the responsibility of<br />
providing a lesson for the kids for 10 to 20 minutes. After which they can<br />
fellowship with each other to build stronger relationships. If there is a<br />
teenager in the group, he or she can help with the discipleship process<br />
with younger children.<br />
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SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />
SMALL GROUP GUIDELINES<br />
It's a good idea for every group to put words in the shared values,<br />
expectations, and commitments. Such guidelines will help you avoid<br />
unspoken agendas and unmet expectations. We recommend you discuss<br />
your guidelines during session 1. Feel free to modify anything that does not<br />
work for your group.<br />
WE AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING VALUES:<br />
Clear Purpose To grow healthy, spiritual lives by building a healthy small<br />
group community.<br />
Group Attendance To give priority to the group meeting (call if I am<br />
absent or late)<br />
Safe Environment To create a safe place where people can be heard and<br />
feel loved (no quick answers, snap judgments, or simple fixes<br />
Be Confidential To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and<br />
within the group<br />
Conflict Resolution To avoid gossip and to immediately resolve any<br />
concerns by following the principles of Matthew 18:15-17<br />
Spiritual Health To give group members permission to speak into my life<br />
and help me live a healthy, balanced spiritual life that is pleasing to God<br />
Welcome Newcomers To invite friends who might benefit from this study<br />
and warmly welcome newcomers<br />
Building Relationships To get to know the other members of the group<br />
and pray for them regularly.<br />
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SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />
OUR PRAYERS AND PRAISE<br />
This is a place where you can write each other's request for prayer. You can<br />
also make a note when God answers prayer. Prefer each other's request. If<br />
you're new to group prayer, it's okay to pray silently or to pray using just<br />
one sentence:<br />
"God, please help _____________________ to _________________________."<br />
DATE/PERSON PRAYER REQUEST PRAISE REPORT<br />
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SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />
DATE/PERSON PRAYER REQUEST PRAISE REPORT<br />
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SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />
SMALL GROUP CALENDAR<br />
Healthy groups share responsibilities and groups ownership. It might take<br />
some time for this to develop. Shared ownership ensures that responsibility<br />
for the group doesn't fall to one person. Use this calendar to keep track of<br />
social events, birthdays, or breaks. Complete this calendar at your first or<br />
second meeting. Planning ahead will increase attendance in shared<br />
ownership. Feel free to share who facilitated the questions in this study<br />
guide and brings a snack or potluck meal. <br />
DATE SESSION FACILITATOR SNACKS/MEAL<br />
ONE<br />
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TWO<br />
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THREE<br />
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FOUR<br />
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FIVE<br />
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SIX<br />
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CELEBRATIONS<br />
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SMALL GROUP RESOURCES<br />
SMALL GROUP ROSTER<br />
NAME PHONE EMAIL<br />
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KaTonya Hamilton (706) 627-5479 or katonyahamilton@gmail.com<br />
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SMALL GROUP COORDINATOR<br />
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Notes<br />
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