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ISSUE 1
“My best friend’s mom has cancer
and it’s really tearing her apart. What
can I do to make her feel better? How
can I make things better for her? What
are some things I can say to offer
comfort to her without sounding cheesy
and generic or unsympathetic?” –
Anonymous
Hi, I think your friend is very lucky to
have someone like you in their lives,
who’s so committed to being there for
them. I’m sure you’re already a huge
comfort to them. I think there’s 3 main
ways to help your friend. The simplest
one is just to ask them what they need,
this might be as simple as helping them
with chores. What they’re going through
is exhausting, so less responsibility could
make it easier for them to cope. Secondly,
normal life and routine are so important
to help someone feel grounded, try not to
treat them differently and that includes
not having that sympathetic expression
which can be alienating for some people.
The 3rd way to help would be support
groups. Bringing your friend to support
groups allows them to connect to people
going through the same thing. It can be
a place with a lot of information lead by
someone experienced and skilled. It’s a
very difficult situation for your friend to
be in but with a support network around
them, they’ll come through this.
Hello, I’m sorry to hear about what
you’re going through. No one should feel
that level of paranoia and not be able to
move on with their life. It seems to me
like you’re in a bit of a trauma situation.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
is a serious thing to deal with at an
early stage. I suggest you do go see a
therapist. Having nightmares about your
ex and feeling like he might show up out
of no where can be early signs of PTSD.
You have to let go of the past in order
to continue your relationship with the
new guy. You’ll never feel safe or worthy
enough around another man and that can
lead to a lot of emotional stress. Please
seek for help. My mother is a victim of
physical and verbal abuse and she never
took care of it. She always ignored and
pretended that things were okay. Now
she’s m.i.a. because she’s so afraid of her
boyfriend that she prefers not to leave his
side in fear he might hurt her if she leaves.
This is her choice. She got the same
opportunity you’re getting of starting
over again and she didn’t take it. You
must seek happiness for your daughter
and see that she doesn’t suffer the same
emotional distress from experiencing all
of this at an early age. Every day brings
new choices and you should always strive
for the best. Do not belittle yourself. You
have to stay strong for your daughter and
for yourself. I hope everything gets better
for you and always remember that there’s
help out there. You just have to reach out.
65
LAUREN LAURA
“I’ve moved on with my life and am over
what happened. My ex was very abusive
to me and made me feel guilty about it,
as though it was my fault. I’m over it.
But am I truly over it? Last night I had
a nightmare about him coming back into
me and my daughter’s life (he’s m.i.a.)
well he was just worse and I had to call
the cops on him. I kept asking this guy
that I want to be with (still in my dream) if
he wanted to be with me because I felt it
wasn’t worth him dealing with my ex and
baggage. What do I do? I’m considering
going to a therapist.” - Anonymous
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