Rewind Script

Copyright ©️ Liz Mytton 2019.
Liz Mytton asserts the moral right to be identified as the
author of this work in accordance with the Copyright,
Designs and Patents Act 1988.
Rewind
Characters
DUB MASTER
M.C. MAY
BACKBENCHERS
THE OPPOSITION
CROWD
person controlling the music
an MCing version of Theresa May
greying politician(s)- can be puppets
a red, three-headed monster
people watching performance
Scene 1
There is a small stage with a green sofa, like the parliament
benches, giant speakers set up next to it. Above it is a banner,
reading ‘HOUSE OF RHETORIC’. M.C. MAY is seated here
reading notes. To one side there is a sound desk with laptop, where
the ‘Dub Master’ (D’M) or ‘Selector’ is controlling the riddim
(rhythm/backing music). He moves amongst the audience giving
away coloured wristbands, asking ‘What colour you follow?
Red or Blue? Or maybe you like a bit of white, so you can stay
neutral?’ etc, all in casual, banter-like style. He also gives away a
couple whistles. Some generic reggae beat is playing, and then the
D’M steps up to the stage with a mic.
D’M
All the way from London Downing Street,
playing for the first time in Birmingham, give it
up and make some big noise for the mouthpiece
of the Strong and Stable Collective, M.C. MAY!

M.C. MAY stands from sofa, very formal in style. She is wearing
a suit, grey wig, large blue ‘strong and stable’ sash and holding a
mic, ready to perform.
MAY
Play di’ riddim, Dub Master!
Music kicks in. M.C. MAY starts dancing badly, but confidently.
MAY
Music stops abruptly.
Been three years now since me cast my spell
After Cameron drop de EU bombshell
Remain or leave, nobody could tell
Now de whole a’ de country bin sent straight to hell
But as time moved on, I started to see
Confusion presents an opportunity
So I left de Home Office bureaucracy
To stand tall as de boss a’ de Tory Party
CROWD Rewind, M.C. MAY, rewind!
Music starts from beginning again.
D’M
M.C. MAY on de microphone! Mek some noise!
M.C. MAY is emboldened by the crowd and starts again.
MAY
Been three years now since me cast my spell
After Cameron drop de EU bombshell
Remain or leave, nobody could tell
Now de whole a’ de country sent straight to hell
But as time moved on, I started to see
Confusion presents opportunity
So I left de Home Office bureaucracy
To stand tall as de boss a’ de Tory Party
Now I must have been mad cos I failed to see
Dat a big time job brings insecurity
Haffi prove my worth front a’ camera screen
Wid a general election made jus’ fi me
Den de business go from bad to worse
When UKIP lie ‘bout de UK purse
Nuff people a’ bawl ‘bout doctor an’ nurse
An’ dem poverty under the EU curse
(CHORUS)
Give me one likkle chance
Stick wid de dance
Cos I’m strong an’ stable
Yes, strong an’ stable
(Repeat)

Enter BACKBENCHERS, all dressed in identical grey suits,
looking old and disheveled, with grey hair and briefcases. They
shuffle in rhythmically, eyeballing the audience seriously. They
dance awkwardly along with M.C. MAY, who steps up her
movement. She is drinking greedily from a large glass/bottle.
MAY
Yes, that’s nice. Time for some relaxation, time
to remember back in the day, before we needed
legislation and committees to come together,
when music was all it took for us to move in the
same direction.
MAY
You can point an’ laugh at my dance moves
But majority still wan’ fe follow my tune
So let’s toast progress wid Wray an’ Nephew
See de whole damn world paint in Royal blue
BACKBENCHERS and THE OPPOSITION start dancing
slowing together, held in a loving embrace.
MAY
(Singing) I’m on your side! I’m on your side!
If you black, give thanks when you go to church
Cos is me try fe clamp down on stop an’ search
You can torture an’ whip me wid cane an’ birch
Tek a miracle to knock me from off a’ my perch
Hey, wah dis? (what’s this?)
Enter THE OPPOSITION, a massive 3-headed monster – face
of Corbyn, McDonnell and Abbott. They are red and angrylooking,
and dance in, bouncing aggressively. They head for
the BACKBENCHERS and start to engage in a dance-off
confrontation.
D’M
Maybe time for a different vibe, alright?
While the music plays, M.C. MAY dances on the stage, while
snippets of her speeches are played as a voiceover. It ends with
her promises of leaving the EU at the end of March, then end of
June, then the October extension. We hear a ‘rewind’ sound and
the dancers break apart. BACKBENCHERS return to shuffling
and THE OPPOSITION dance off towards M.C. MAY, a bit of
intimidation.
MAY
(desperate) Give me one likkle chance
Just stick wid de dance
Cos I’m strong an’ stable
Yes, strong an’ stable
(Repeat)
Music switches to a gentler, Lover’s Rock type tune.

M.C. MAY collapses on her sofa crying as THE OPPOSITION
join the BACKBENCHERS on the dance floor again. This time
they start squabbling, engaging the audience to get views across,
getting louder and louder, more and more agitated, until M.C.
MAY runs off the stage, jumps in between them all. They all stop
suddenly, striking a mob pose, leaning towards the crowd.
MAY
I resign! You’re killing the vibe. Play a tune,
selecta!
Music kicks in.
END
‘Curtain call’ as music plays.