MENTORS Magazine: Issue 1

50 | MENTORS MAGAZINE | EDITION 1
dency to be very impressionable,
because they really
don't trust themselves.
And with so many people on
social media, we see this
even more. People compare
themselves to others, think
they are less than others
and then start questioning
themselves. There's something
wrong with me, they
think.
14. You isolate yourself.
One of the things that people-pleasers
do is that they
have this intense need not
to be wrong. They will avoid
an argument at all costs. So,
they will isolate and move
away from confrontation.
Self-isolation is also a way of
self-protection, and saying,
“Don't see me. I really don't
want anybody to observe
my flaws.”
13. You are immature.
When we're talking about
people pleasers, these people
often get stuck in the
emotional intelligence of a
child, meaning they seek out
the appreciation, attention,
and the protection of other
people.
12. You are excessively altruistic
or philanthropic.
You are constantly giving
away things in order to buy
a person's love or respect.
And no, I am not talking
about birthday gifts, Christmas
presents or a token of
appreciation to your employer.
Rather, I am talking
about consistently giving in
order to get appreciation
and attention back.
11. You are addicted to approval.
This is when you will do anything,
including compromising
your own beliefs, morals
or values, for the sake of approval.
I think what makes
this toxic is when we're not
getting that approval from
other individuals, it's painful
-- it physically, emotionally
and mentally hurts. You go
into self-blame mode: What
did I do? Why was I wrong?
Does this person not like
me? And then it turns into a
kind of obsessive behavior:
How am I going to win back
the approval of this person?
10. You have low selfesteem.
Low self-esteem, or low selfworth,
is when we have a
very stunted image of ourselves.
I understand that
there are situations in our
lives we can’t control -- terrible
upbringing, unhealthy
relationships, to name a few
-- that can impact our confidence.
But I believe the root
of this really comes from
fear. It comes from adopting,
adapting and protecting
yourself within a dysfunctional
unit where a person
will not let you express
your own individuality. For
instance, If you're a gregarious
person, but you're family
consistently shames you