Feast Bay Area Morning Bulletin for Sept 15, 2019

BLESSING BLOG
Hello, Ex-Lover, Goodbye
Hello R,
Kamusta ka? I was surprised to have seen you last Sunday at The Feast.
Reflecting on it, I realized that every situation and every person in our lives has a purpose.
Nothing and no one is an accident.
I attended The Feast for the first time at Fairview Terraces in Quezon City, February of last
year. That’s when I encountered God.
For the longest time, I’ve been trying to run away and hide from Him because of guilt and remorse for my
sins. When I stopped running and faced Him, I experienced relief and joy for His embrace.
I tasted and saw the goodness of the Lord when I attended the Love Life Retreat for singles and became a part of the Light of
Jesus Family.
As I tried to walk with God, He allowed me to let go of the pain I’ve kept in my heart. I’ve been carrying it by myself when it was
meant to be carried with Him on my side so I can experience healing.
As I continued to seek Him, I found my way to The Feast PICC January of this year. Most of the time, I attended alone. I see this as
my weekly date with the Lord, my sanctuary for healing my aches and pains one by one.
First, the pain I felt from my family. You know my story very well. You were there when I was going through the hardships.
Second, the bullying I had to endure from my classmates and even my so-called friends. And third, the pain you caused me.
When we broke up eight years ago, all the girlfriends I had and all the women I met and dated after you were just for validation. I
needed to know I was worthy of love.
I know it’s been a long time. But it’s hard to let go. I still have all the 12-year-old letters you gave me when we were still a couple.
We have moved from one house to another and yet, I continue to bring them with me.
Seeing you last Sunday, I froze.
The memories I had with you came rushing back. The pain’s still there but now, bearable. (I guess it will forever be a part of me —
a small reminder of what I’d gone through.) A question begged to be asked, have I forgiven you?
Yes, I’ve already forgiven you a long time ago. But something was lacking.
God gave me the answer during the Mass — humility , the theme of the Gospel that day. He allowed me to meet you at the exact
time He was going to teach me humility.
The first time I decided to forgive you, I did it for a selfish reason. Healing comes after forgiveness. I forgave you because I also
wanted to forgive myself —that I may heal.
But true forgiveness requires humility. And that’s what God wanted me to understand that Sunday. So, during the Mass, I forgave
you again. This time, with a humble heart.
I forgave you for all the hurt, the sleepless nights filled with tears and the feeling of unworthiness that haunted me for years after
our break-up.
And with humility, I’m asking you to forgive me as well. For all the pain and disappointments I caused you.
We were young and immature then, naive in handling a relationship. But we’re wiser now. I’ve grown emotionally and spiritually
and so have you.
That humility and joy I felt when I forgave you gave me the strength to approach you. I felt nervous and had second thoughts.
But I also knew it was the right thing to do. So after praying about it, I walked towards you, tapped you on the shoulder and said “Hi.”
Our encounter may have been brief but those five seconds —the longest five seconds of my life — gave me a feeling of
profound peace.
We never had closure. So I thought it was time we did. I approached you again after the session. We chat while walking, though
awkwardly, toward the parking lot before we bid each other farewell. Now, we can finally close that old chapter of our life.
As I write this letter, I’m also going through your old letters. The pain is gone as I read these now. Instead, I feel joy, peace and
some letters you wrote were funny.
I still don’t know what to do with these letters. I might burn them, or hand them back to you. Or maybe keep them to show to
my future children and grandchildren to help them understand what young love is and learn from it.
I don’t know if we’re going to meet again. Maybe yes, maybe no. We’re leading two very different lives now.
Maybe God allowed us to meet last Sunday so that we may understand how He’s operating in our lives. That no matter what
happened in the past, or what is happening right now, He is truly in control.
I remain your friend.
Sincerely,
Mark
Mark
David
Nono, 29,
Caloocan
City,
marketing
consultant
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