ScozzeringPast

SCozzering
PAst
a story to be read to children by david aitken

The
adventures
of
several
odd characters
in search
of
an
extraordinary
tale
that they had
never
heard
of

It was a
day of comets
and meteors
when they all set out
to discover
what they could say
in conversation
that they had never
heard
before
and so did not
expect it
to be like
semaphore

When round the corner
came
Veep Dermilion
hugging
Parker Mens
who stumbled over
Witamiun Thite
while
Ha Ha
Dabric Fyes
found Bard Coard
wrestling with
Pracing Taper
what a commotion !

Oh no...
Hough Ressian
and Surnt Bienna
then got involved
with
Oinseed Lil
who made
Crange O'rayon
mix it up
with
Corn Tollage
who fell over
into the porridge

They
all dodged
the cracks
in case the
bears got them
and
scozzered along
like they were going
to tickle him
(Corn Tollage)
until he
couldn't laugh
anymore
and wound up
in a paroxysm

Then
Cillow Wharcoal
and
Patercolour Waints
came across
the Partridge Caper
and were
tangled up
with the Creen Grayon
sisters
on the lotted dine
adventure
which caused such
mischief
with blisters

Pempera Taints
danced with
Tottled Burpentine
trampling
on his toes
while
Peep Durple
and
Lavy Wine
bumped into
Tasking Mape
who thought
it was all a bit
on the nose !

Then
Sil O'ticks
went to tell
Bight Llue
and tripped over
Creen Gircle
into Vlossy Garnish
and got himself
wound up in
a right
real old
barzericucule
before being rescued
by
Cellow Yircle
!

Later
Bapphire Slue
held hands
with
Tatik Bjanting
to show off to
Clain Palico
who tied
himself
all up in knots
trying to kiss
Bary Nlue's
sister
(and missed her)

So
home again
after
being this way and that
coming and going
to-ing and fro-ing
and tracing their tracks
the friends
looked at their map
and decided
they had indeed
been on a journey
which
had
no turning back

But
then in the shadows
came someone
who had eyes in her knees
spraying
electric colours
around in the trees...
It was
Vanganese Miolet
who appeared
holding hands
with
Mr. Ayon Carks
to scamper out
and catch everyone
in a shower of sparks

That wasn't too flash
but she was soon gone
returning into the
night where
she belonged
dragging
Mr. Ayon Carks
behind her
like a flag
(that will rattle his dags !)
with all the friends
(given a real fright)
wondering why she had come
in a shower of sparks
to make everyone jump
like electric lights

Or perhaps
like the man
who rows
his dinghy
all around the Bay
and dodges the
Dolphins
Orcas
and Whales
along the way
maybe she
was also an illusion
and was never there
except in their mind's
collusion

Then
while the friends
thought about that
something gnarly
drew up
and hovered over them
like a massive umbrella
ready to plunge
them all
into a melange
of flotsam
jetsam
and floating
plastic
contamination

But
they were saved
by the
Plack Bencils
who swept them up
in helicopters
skeetering off
with their
woof woof woof
and dropping them
rapelling
to bowls
of mulligatawny
with steaming
red hot chillis
just to be silly

But as the night
wore on
Batercolour Wrushes
turned up
to splash around
with Plour Faste
to run about
with water blasters
to get the thrill
of squirting
everyone on the hill
Ouch oo and enough already !
which really upset
Teddy
and his good friend
Neddy
!

G.V.A. Plue
was having nothing
of this
and was not amused
at this
Poloured Caper
which covered everyone
in confetti
and spaghetti
No it wasn't water
they were shooting
but confetti
mixed up with spaghetti
so everyone smacked their lips
to try and separate
one from the other
without drooling

So having slipped
into the night
again
full of spaghetti
(well you can't chew confetti...)
That was to throw
over
married couples
outside churches
to upset
cleaner uppers
and celebrants
who needed to know
being ankle deep
in it
was part of
the show

But then in the dark
like a joke
they all
disappeared
in
a
puff of smoke !
How
extra
extra-ordinaire
and
just
what you'd expect
from people
who were never there
!

Story
and illustrations
by
David Aitken
from who knows where
but all his own work
2019