CRUX 2019

Photo: Karin Hamilton
Lisa and Mark Kutolowski at Table Rock Farm, named after a glacial rock formation on their property.
“What is so interesting is that I almost come
to that place as a comfort to grab onto.
Something painful is dislodging [in prayer]
and it would feel good to my ego, like I
am actually doing something good in the
world. That’s an unhealthy savior complex.
It doesn’t mean we don’t act, but this path
we’re talking about is about seeking God for
God’s own sake. If God is leading you to that
kind of ministry, it’s not going to be about
you, and it’s going to be a lot more sacrificial.
It requires a conversion of the heart.”
She also reminds herself that “we don't
each have to be the whole body of Christ. …
The work that we're doing here on this land,
our prayer, is supportive to the whole body
of Christ,” she said.
Mark also underscored that intensity and
importance for the whole world of the work
of prayer:
“I think it’s a grave mistake to associate
going off to silence and solitude as a retreat
from the problems of the world. It’s precisely
in coming away from the exterior clamor
that you can face the problems of the world
spiritually. Our engagement with the pain of
the world is much more intense in our prayer
than it would be if we were on phones all
the time and if we were distracted and
rushing around and concerned with our
personal survival.
“[These contemplative practices] give you
a space to feel the world suffering. In fact,
to feel that at a much deeper level because
we are not just connected to God, we're
connected to every other human being
on the planet, and to the planet as well.
When you are still enough that you feel that
experientially, your prayer is a sharing both in
the fullness of God but also in the weakness
and brokenness of the human condition,
and in your own heart there's an interplay
between those two.”
When the time is right, they will be open to
more retreatants on the land. It will be open
We need to consciously
share in God’s life, to
open the depths of our
being — or we might say
— to open our heart to
the presence of God in
and through everything.
That is to enter into the
Kingdom of God.
Mark Kutolowski
to all, though they realize the contemplative
path won't be attractive to everyone. Their
dream for you, and all who share the earth,
and for earth herself, will still be the same:
“… union with God as healer of our wounds,
sustainer of the physical world, and lover of
our souls….”
“Wherever you are, if you fall deeply in love
with God, it will change you,” said Mark,
adding that "and it just might change what
you do.” ◊
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