Jan 31 2020 When I Became Free

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Page 6 When I Became Free January 31, 2020 EVA MARIE WOYWOD WHENIBECAMEFREE@GMAIL.COM Embracing your story is healing. Sharing your story in a healthy manner will help pave the road for growth for yourself and for others. When survivors take those steps it creates a domino effect of awareness, the type of outreach announcing to others that there is hope, that there can and will be better tomorrows. In doing so we create beacons of light illuminating our surroundings which in turn guides now victims out of their caves of isolation and out in the fresh air - air not weighed down by stigma, regret, and fear I truly believe in that and I know it because that has been my path. My healing journey started the day I took ownership - gave my pain a name - and began knowing my true self and all those emotions I had shoved deep down for decades. They were emotions I once feared but have come to learn all that they are is guideposts, allowing me to be aware of my surroundings, my needs and my wants - not, the needs and wants of my abusers. It is not an easy task taking that step, especially if you’ve lived through the trauma of child sexual assault, domestic violence, and sexual assault as an adult. Knowing this for the fact that it is I appreciate and respect others when they take that risk they’ve been fearing from the moment the trauma entered their lives. Like many others I believe the survivors. I believe them as I know when they utter their truths there will be those who judge them for other people’s crimes that have been laid upon their souls. I know the courage they must muster to do so and when they do, they are doing it for themselves and others in the name of healing and awareness. That was the case earlier this month when I was laid up in bed fighting a nasty virus and a video popped up on my Facebook newsfeed, it was a paid ad. The video was of a woman telling the story of what she claimed was domestic violence that had left her mother with bodily injuries and the family with psychological scars. Now, usually I vett what I share, a lesson I learned while working as a reporter. However, on that day I had far too much cold medicine floating through my system and my focus was non-existent, so, with a knee-jerk reaction I shared the video on my personal page along with on the When I Became Free page. Some days later, feeling much better and focused, a person contacted me to inform me that the video was a concerted effort to harass and discredit the man named as the abuser, Mike Rinder. They went on to say it was all because of his work, along with actress Leah Rimini, to expose the Church of Scientology. Their partnership and efforts have been documented in a television show on A&E - Leah Remini: Scientology and the Aftermath. The lightbulb in my head went off and I could see red flags all around me. Now, as an experienced advocate I knew I had to take a step back and research everything I could as I was now caught up in what is known as triangulation. For me, I had to discern who was the manipulator and who really was the target. Unfortunately, I am extremely familiar with the twisted dynamics of power and control in domestic violence. Either someone was lying and/or there were slivers of truths being exaggerated for revenge. I was mad. My anger came from knowing other survivors were being drawn into this toxic environment, perhaps too there were vulnerable victims being recruited into something they may have felt was hope only to be entering a greater form of trauma and abuse. Yes, I was pissed off. I was pissed off because no matter what, the nightmare of domestic violence was being used by one side, maybe both sides, for revenge and they were taking innocent bystanders down with them. In the videos the woman said she created and organization to help bring justice for her mother and others. I went to their website and took a good look at all it contained. What I found was worrisome. There were a lot of accusations but little, if not no, real help for others. Women had left comments on her blog posts - many comments, but there were no responses. Some of these women shared their own stories, yet again, no words of support nor any gratitude in response. It felt cold and with one purpose only - revenge. When it comes to revenge, the waters get murky. If there were any links for resources for others experiencing domestic violence ,they must be buried, as I couldn’t find them. There were no warnings anywhere I could see. I was looking for warnings about how video content may have PTSD triggers. There was just one phone number sitting down in the footer of the website for interested parties to phone. The Facebook page was pretty much the same. Something was off. I contacted Mike Rinder via an email on a blog he maintains. I read his own posts on what his daughter was saying. He has been vocal in claiming innocence and that he was a targeted for 1: leaving the Church of Scientology and 2: exposing the behind closed doors abuse in the Church of Scientology. Often on the television show the church has been
Page 7 When I Became Free January 31, 2020 of questions. Considering I have already posted his daughter’s video on our page, giving her a platform, I am including what those questions were and his responses —- What advice do you have for victims of abuse? First, you did nothing wrong. What happened to you is not right and you did nothing that caused it to happen. Be strong, others have gone through what you have gone through and can help you. And in turn, your strength helps others. What words of inspiration would you give to anyone targeted by false allegations of domestic violence? No matter what anyone else thinks or says, be true to your own self and live by your own truth. False accusations cannot change who you are, as long as you don't succumb to the temptation to hate. Fight back, but do so with truth and dignity. It is in these terrible times that you discover who your real friends are, and that is valuable forever. Rather than dissecting the controversy into this drama playing out in the public’s eye any more than I already have, I have decided to focus on the victims and now survivors of domestic violence who may have accessed this all via me posting the video. I urge all of you not to get caught up in the he said/she said with perhaps another entity attempting to control the situation. Focus on your own healing. If there was something in her video you identified with, then you need to reach out to safe people, tell your truth, and get on your own path to healing. You can do that by accessing resources, of which, we always include in the back end of our issues. Realize that all of this serves as an example of what plays out in our own communities when neighbors whisper and spread what they think are our truths. It is very much similar to that quicksand of rumors and not having the whole story we’ve found ourselves in while attempting to seek freedom and justice. It is a reminder that we are in fact, not alone. Domestic violence can and does happen everywhere. All forms of abuse cross over every demographic there is. I have worked with victims of religious and cult abuse, which included sexual assault and domestic violence. It is a very real issue and probably one of the most difficult types of abuse to break free from as the first brainwashing loyalty to get past is the tie to a twisted community - one the victim fights leaving even though deep within them they know something is not right. I have also known people who have been falsely accused of crimes of abuse when in fact they were the ones being abused. Gaslighting is the goto method for most abusers. This is why I urge anyone who may have seen that video to not get caught up in the drama but rather seek out resources for assistance. Once you’re on that path embracing your story will come much easier and rather than seeking revenge you will work to make sure no other victim ever feels alone - you will be able to tell them where to go for help - you will stand strong with confidence and not let the naysayers dictate your self worth. That, my friends, is what it means to be free. To end, I will say this situation reminded me that we need to address how communities within communities can often be where abuse planted and grows. In future issues we will share with you how to protect yourself during your most vulnerable times from not latching on to organized terror as we will be sharing information on becoming free from cults and religious abuse. As always, be well.
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Jan 31 2020 When I Became Free

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