Twins Magazine 2004 January February

Help!
I
Postpartum doulas: nurturing help
for new mothers
— by Melanie Bowden —
need
somebody
It’s 8 a.m. and you’re already wondering how you’ll make
it through the day. You’ve been up since 5:30 nursing
and rocking your fussy babies after a night of broken
sleep. You’re not sure how you’ll ever take a shower, let
alone fix some breakfast. Your body aches from labor
and delivery. You would love a sympathetic shoulder to
cry on, as well as someone to answer your nagging questions
about caring for yourself and your newborns.
To the rescue—the postpartum doula.
She whisks in, brings you a cup of tea and
something to eat, then takes the babies
from your tired arms.You get the chance
to rest while someone else handles things.
By the time your doula leaves, you’ve
showered, napped and feel much more
confident in your role as a mom.
Most new parents are caught off
guard by how overwhelming the postpartum
period can be. During pregnancy,
they had read about preparing for
their babies, attended childbirth and
baby care classes and prepared the layette.
Unfortunately, many books and classes
for expectant parents don’t touch upon
the incredible emotional and physical
demands of caring for newborns. These
demands are especially intense for moms
of multiples.
In The Postpartum Survival Guide,
authors Ann Dunnewold, Ph.D., and
Diane G. Sanford, Ph.D., describe the
truth about postpartum: “The reality is
that becoming a parent is a considerable
task. The new mother’s body appears to
have gone haywire; her hormones fluctuate
greatly. She is tired beyond belief,
and suffering from sleep deprivation. The
new mother is in a physically vulnerable
state from these changes and from the
enormous physical stress of childbirth.
And then, after a couple days’ rest, if she’s
lucky, she is put in charge of meeting
another human being’s needs before
tending to any of her own.”
We used to care for postpartum families
much differently than we do today.
Communities would rally around new
families by providing practical help, like
bringing meals, and emotional support
in the form of mother mentoring from
either female relatives or other experienced
mothers.
“I was unprepared for the extended
neediness of my twins,” said Laura
Schneider, a mother of four boys under
5, including 9-month-old twins.“I have
one twin who wants to be held a lot and
then one who is easier—but I always feel
guilty because he doesn’t get as much
mommy time. I was also surprised by the
amount of stress I would feel when both
babies cried at once.”
“Help” continued on next page
www.TwinsMagazine.com JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2004 17