77.) Best Frienamies

"You sure you should be in class today?" Aizawa asked as they walked.
"Why the fuck not?" Bakugou challenged stubbornly. They had just barely enough time to get to
class, so he should be able to stall this conversation for the time being.
"Shinsou told me about this morning."
Shit
"I'm fine," he could practically see a disembodied spirit of Shinsou rolling his eyes as he said it.
"Bakugou. Give me a little credit here," Aizawa said tiredly, "I ​know ​you're not okay and I would
appreciate it if you would talk to me, but I'm not going to send you home this time if you don't."
"You talk walls around yourself and don't actually communicate anything"
"Shinsou called me on a lot of my bullshit," he said quietly, "But I don't know how to stop."
"Just try to be honest," Aizawa made it sound so easy, "Doesn't matter if it doesn't come out
right. Just try."
He ​hated ​doing things he was bad at.
Just try
"Don't wanna talk about it right before class," ​that ​at least was honest, "Once I let it out, I can't
always wrap it back up."
"Okay," Aizawa conceded, "That's all you had to say."
"You can just say you don't want to talk about it"
It seemed obvious, but he wasn't used to people just… respecting his boundaries like that.
"If I ever treated you like that, you need to break up with me"
Is that how it ​should​ work? Was it abnormal​ ​to push him when he said no? Were other people
supposed​ to care what he wanted? If everyone just backed off when he asked them to, maybe
he wouldn't need to yell and fight all the time.
Kirishima materialised the second he entered homeroom.

"You're alive!" he rushed forward, clearly about to dive for a hug, but stopped short. Whatever
signal he picked up on, he guessed right. Bakugou wouldn't be able to stand the contact right
now.
"How did it go?" Kirishima asked cautiously.
"The faster you let me do this the sooner it will be over"
"Awful."
Describing that experience would be only marginally easier than talking about the actual rape.
He lacked the vocabulary to explain how a minor medical procedure tore him apart with visceral
horror.
"Wait"
The phrase ​'learned helplessness'​ crept into his thoughts and it pissed him off.
"I'm sorry," Kirishima said with directionless anxiety.
"I'll live," he promised, seeming to only increase Kirishima's apprehension. Bakugou couldn't
blame him. Kirishima alone reserved a front row seat to the extent of his touch issues.
"Kacchan!" Deku rocketed out of his seat, "Are you okay?!"
"Why wouldn't I be, nerd?" Deku didn't even know about the exam, Bakugou was pretty sure.
"Toga, for one," Deku explained, "But also you came in super quiet, I didn't even realize you
were here. That's not like you."
Deku memorized his environment so thoroughly, even sneaking in quietly behind Aizawa got his
attention.
"I'm tired," he supplied the half truth.
"That's understandable," Deku nodded along, then lowered his voice, "Are the nightmares
getting bad again?"
"What the fuck, who told you that?!" he snapped. Shinsou had literally just left the apartment at
the same time as him, he ​couldn't ​have blabbed that fast.
"Well, you… kinda fall asleep in class sometimes," Deku explained hesitantly, "Not a lot! But you
did it more in middle school. And then you wake up ready to kill someone."

Fuck
Observant bastard.
"Yeah, they got bad again," he muttered reluctantly.
"Do you know why?" Deku asked.
"Just- wait a second"
"I don't want to talk about it," he scowled, daring the nerd to ask.
"Okay."
Well, now he just felt stupid. Why didn't he ever say that before?
"Katsuki, what the hell is going on with you?!" she demanded after the third time he accidentally
detonated his quirk in the house, scorching the kitchen counter.
"Nothing!" he claimed desperately.
"You expect me to believe that?"
"I don't want to talk about it!" he internally begged for her to leave him alone.
"I don't give a shit what you want!"
Deku had a long standing habit of not taking no for an answer, but ever since the hospital visit
he learned to back off when asked.
Maybe his mother could too.
"Some of you are going to be starting work-studies soon," Aizawa began and his only
consolation was that Icy Hot had to sit out too.
Not Deku though. Deku was flying ahead of him yet again. Deku, who ran to his rescue with
nothing but tears and a backpack. Through years of Bakugou taking his shit out on his
childhood 'friend,' Deku stayed on his side. Followed him to UA, to Kamino, on his trail every
step. Until suddenly Bakugou was the one struggling to keep up.
Disbelieving inferiority warred with guilt.

Why is he so far ahead of me? ​he screamed in his head.
Because he's a better person than you, ​the voice in his head screamed back.
Deku would never be as gifted, but it didn't matter. He was hero material in ways Bakugou
would never be.
Allmight's favorite
Regret and aggravation rose and ebbed like waves as Aizawa described the opportunities he
was missing. A few more announcements he didn't listen to and Aizawa dismissed them for
some hero history thing with Allmight, Aizawa himself disappearing instantly. Bakugou stayed
seated a moment to wait for the crowd to thin, not feeling up to even brushing another person at
the moment.
From day one, Mineta annoyed him. Fortunately, he rarely had to deal with the little shit.
Partially because Bakugou hung out with a group of all guys except for Mina, providing Mineta
little motive to approach them, and partially because Grape Fucker was scared shitless of him.
As he should be. So when he decided to give talking to Momo another try, Mineta wasn't even
on his radar until the boy 'accidentally' tripped and 'steadied' himself with a downward yank to
Momo's shirt.
Bakugou saw red.
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" he had the boy dangling by the collar in an instant.
"I just tripped!" Mineta claimed and it was ​bullshit. ​Bakugou slammed him against the wall with
one hand, threatening heat sparking dangerously near in the other.
"You won't have to worry about tripping anymore because you won't be fucking walking when
I'm done with you!"
"Why are you being so sensitive?!" Mineta gasped in exasperated panic, "Don't take your
personal issues out on me!"
A hand hooked around the inside of Bakugou's elbow, stopping him mid-swing at Mineta's face.
"Don't," Momo released him quickly, observing his jump with an apologetic grimace, "I don't
want you to get in trouble."
He was about to argue when he recognised the nervous way she hugged herself, nearly hiding
behind him to avoid the attention.

She's embarrassed
"You gonna fuck with her again?" he growled the demand too low for the growing audience to
hear. Mineta shook his head vigorously and Bakugou let go with one final rough shove. Grape
fucker immediately scrambled away, his retreat nearly a run.
"Wasn't trying to embarrass you," he said quietly. He couldn't just let the asshole get away with
it, but at the same time… if the situation were reversed, he would be fucking mortified.
"It's okay," she said quietly, "Thank you for sticking up for me."
"I owe you," he shrugged.
"Maybe," she gave him a soft smile, "But that's not why you did it."
"Just don't go around telling people," he grumbled, "Can't let them know I gone soft."
"I'm not sure I'd call throwing someone into a wall and threatening them 'going soft,'" she joked.
That got him thinking… maybe he ​could ​be a little more like Deku. While still being himself. That
impulse reaction to intervene he felt just now… was that how Deku felt about ​everyone? ​He
didn't understand Deku's explanation of his legs moving on their own because Bakugou never
did ​that. He planned his approach, refusing to be caught off guard. But today he jumped in
without thinking because he cared about Momo and couldn't stand to watch something he
personally abhorred happen to her. Knee-jerk instinct screamed ​'I have to make this stop.'
He hated being wrong, but the truth was he spent an entire decade mad at Deku for ​loving him​.
"Oi, nerd," he didn't even need to look, he ​knew ​the second he got into an altercation Deku
would be there.
"Yeah, Kacchan?"
"That thing where your legs moved on their own. I thought you were bullshitting me."
"Okay?" Deku said, obviously confused.
"I get it now," he walked off, not minding so much when Deku followed. Followed him all the way
to the roof. Man, he really had zero impulse control today
"All that subtle shit you pick up on," he said to the edge of the rooftop, "Details you put together,
took fucking notes on, you ended up knowing more about me than anyone else on the fucking
planet. No matter how hard I hit you, or what I said, you always came back. I could blow up your

fucking notebook but it wouldn't make you forget. You knew too much and it scared the shit out
of me."
"But it doesn't now?" Deku took away.
"A little. But I finally accepted you're not gonna use it to fuck me over," he sighed, realizing at
this point he ​trusted ​Deku, "You're still shit at keeping your mouth shut though, so just
remember if you blab I'll kill you."
"Of course."
Deku barely even reacted to death threats from him anymore. He didn't know what possessed
him to ask his next question.
"You heard from your dad the last couple years?"
"What? Uh, no. I haven't."
"That's good, I guess," he didn't know where he was going with this, "Don't know how someone
could hit Inko. I mean, she's so nice, what reason could he possibly have?"
Maybe the same reason he hit Deku. Because he was angry and Deku let him.
"You guys didn't deserve that," he hoped Deku was smart enough to read the apology between
the lines.
"People don't get abused because they deserve it, Kacchan," Deku read between the lines, past
his words, their intended meaning, and straight into his soul.
Stop underestimating him
Bakugou wasn't saying he ​deserved ​it, per se. But he certainly gave his mother plenty of
reasons. ​She didn't just smack him out of nowhere for nothing. She went overboard, but hitting
him and hitting Inko were two completely different things. He thought, at least.
"I always knew everything you threw at me you got from her," Deku said, proving again he saw
everything. ​That same look of too much understanding had followed him all their lives and he
was finally done running away from it, "You would always make fun of me for being a crybaby.
Every time I got upset about something, you were so ​mean. ​You made me feel awful about
myself about it, but I was also so impressed that nothing ever seemed to bother you. You were
so tough and I wished I could be like that. At least for a while."
"When did it change?"

No more running
"Remember when you dislocated your shoulder?" Deku asked, seemingly out of nowhere.
Of course he did. He fucked up a landing from one tree to another and his save to keep from
smashing his head open meant blasting his shoulder straight out of its socket. It wasn't a
serious injury, but it hurt like a bitch.
"You tried to get me to put it back in," Deku recounted, "You wouldn't let me tell anyone, you just
kept saying it would be fine once we popped it back so no one needed to know."
Well, yeah, he didn't want to make a big scene over nothing. Was that weird?
"Kacchan, we need to get Aunt Mits-"
"No! You can't tell!"
That, and he desperately didn't want his mother to know he fucked up.
"We were seven."
Maybe seven was a ​bit​ young for that kind of behavior.
"Quit being such a baby," he hissed through his teeth, eyes watering in pain, "Just fucking yank
on it and it'll go back!"
Deku pulled hard enough to make the overstretched ligaments scream agonizingly, but not
enough to move it back.
"What the hell are you boys yelling about?!"
"As soon as you heard your mom coming, you tried to hide. You were hurt and needed help and
all you would do about it was try to make yourself stop crying so she wouldn't know."
It didn't seem odd until he tried to imagine Deku dislocating something with Inko nearby. Deku
was actually pretty damn brave about pain, made obvious by all the breaking his own bones. As
a kid, he wouldn't let bumps and scrapes stop him, but he sure would cry the whole way through
it. Inko would hold his hand, kiss his head, and talk softly until he felt better. She made the injury
less​ scary, not ​more​.
"Holy shit, Katsuki, what the fuck did you do to yourself?!"

Once again, Inko acted as the antithesis to his own mother. All of Inko's fussing could get on his
nerves, but her presence never scared him. Mitsuki, on the other hand, became instantly twice
as terrifying when he was already hurt and couldn't protect himself.
Apparently that's not how he was supposed to feel.
"What the hell were you even doing?" she sounded more exasperated than angry.
"Just fell is all," he grumbled.
"Hold still and keep your mouth closed so you don't bite your tongue," she instructed before
adjusting his arm to bend 90 degrees at the elbow and turned his forearm outward with
surprising gentleness. He didn't quite manage to hold back the whine when the joint slid back
into place.
"Now don't you be blowing things up with that arm for a while or you're gonna knock it right back
out," she warned.
"I won't," he rolled his eyes irritably before quietly adding a muttered, "Thanks."
Was his fear of her even justified? She ​helped ​him when she actually found out. Or was that just
because he happened to catch her on a good day?
He was so confused.
"I was pretty stubborn about it," he said finally.
"She yelled at you," Deku replied pointedly.
"Yeah, but that's just how she is," outloud, he recognised it was a weak non-answer.
"My dad used to make homemade miso when me or my mom got sick," Deku reminisced, "One
time Mom was having a bad day at work, so he showed up to her office with flowers and bubble
tea."
He got where this was going, but he still winced internally when Deku finished.
"He still hit her."
"If you're so sure being decent sometimes doesn't make up for violence, then why are you still
talking to me?" his demand fell tired and uncertain.

"I know what you did was wrong. I acknowledge you were a bully. I'm choosing to be here
anyway because I understand why and know you're trying to change," the nerd definitely
practiced this conversation in his head at least once, "You're allowed to try to make up with your
mom, but you shouldn't do it by making excuses for her. Stop trying to figure out if you deserved
it or not, because you didn't. You don't have to forgive her. You can just choose to."
He meant for this to be an apology. Instead, he got a pep talk about his relationship with his
mother, and Deku became the third person that day to insist what he wanted mattered.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do from here," he said awkwardly.
"I would really like for you to be my friend again," Deku replied fearlessly.
"How do I do that?"
Oh my god, you're so fucking stupid
"Maybe we could hang out sometime," he suggested, "Training or something. Or you could
come over again. My mom would like to see you again."
He habitually avoided anywhere related to his childhood, but found himself answering anyway.
"Okay."