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Eno Essien:<br />

Life After Cancer<br />

October 25, 2020


6<br />

3<br />

6<br />

IN THIS ISSUE<br />

email: <strong>allure</strong>fortheworld@vanguardngr.com<br />

HAPPINESS<br />

4 Cover: Eno Essien:<br />

Life After Cancer<br />

6 Sexmatics: Be A Sexually<br />

Confident Man<br />

CELEBRATION<br />

3<br />

7<br />

Fashion : Brown: The New Black<br />

Living : Finding Allure After<br />

Mastectomy<br />

25 OCTOBER 2020<br />

8 Instagram Moments<br />

WELCOME...<br />

Quotes<br />

October 20, 2020, now termed<br />

Black Tuesday, will remain a date<br />

Nigerians, especially the youths,<br />

will never forget in history.<br />

Armed soldiers, under the cover<br />

of darkness, marched in on<br />

Nigerian youths on a peaceful<br />

protest against police brutality at the<br />

Lekki Toll Gate, and rained bullets<br />

on them, killing several.<br />

Since then, Nigerians have<br />

waited with baited breath to hear<br />

from their president. Almost at press time, spoke, calling on<br />

the youths to end the protests as their voices have been<br />

heard. However, the speech left many even more<br />

frustrated, as his it lacked empathy for the families of those<br />

who lost their loved ones at the Lekki massacre.<br />

As usual with everything Nigerian, an ethnic narrative is<br />

being thrown into the mix to water down this bloody attack<br />

on innocent Nigerian youths.<br />

One thing is clear: It is easier for one diagnosed with the<br />

dreaded breast cancer to live than a peaceful Nigerian<br />

protester with no history of any medical ailment.<br />

Events of the past two weeks in the country have been<br />

so engaging, turning October, the breast cancer awareness<br />

month, into one of protests, arson, unwarranted killings,<br />

looting, jail breaks, and all sorts of unpleasantness.<br />

As we pray for peace for our dear country, we share with<br />

you the cheery story of Eno Essien, CEO, Rheytrak, a<br />

vehicle tracking and recovery<br />

company, who survived breast<br />

J . E<br />

cancer against all odds.<br />

Jemi Ekunkunbor<br />

As we step into a new week, we<br />

lookposh2017@gmail.com<br />

wish all our readers a violence-free 08052201126<br />

week.<br />

“Never allow a person<br />

to tell you no who<br />

doesn’t have the<br />

power to say yes”.<br />

- Eleanor Roosevelt<br />

“He that will enjoy<br />

the brightness of<br />

sunshine, must quit<br />

the coolness of the<br />

shade”.<br />

- Samuel Johnson<br />

“Better a little which<br />

is well done, than a<br />

great deal<br />

imperfectly”.<br />

- Plato<br />

3<br />

EDITOR<br />

JEMI EKUNKUNBOR<br />

ASST. EDITOR<br />

YEMISI SULEIMAN<br />

REPORTER<br />

Josephine Agbonkhese<br />

COPY EDITOR<br />

DODOIYI WILLIAM-WEST<br />

PHOTO<br />

OSCAR OCHIOGU<br />

(08034746487)<br />

TEAM<br />

CONTRIBUTORS<br />

LINDA ORAJEKWE<br />

ADESUWA<br />

EWOIGBOKHAN<br />

BAMIYO ISELEMA EMINA<br />

LAYOUT / DESIGN<br />

OLAYIWOLA AJAGBE<br />

HEAD OF PRODUCTION<br />

CHARLES KAMMA<br />

HEAD MARKETING<br />

JANET NAJOMOH<br />

(08037156911)<br />

Printed and published by Vanguard Media Ltd<br />

Vanguard Avenue Kirikiri Canal; P.M.B 1007 Apapa, Lagos.


Brown:<br />

FASHION<br />

The New<br />

Black<br />

By - Josephine Agbonkhese<br />

shoulder bag<br />

leather belt<br />

Gucci shawl<br />

From deep chocolate to light sand,<br />

the entire spectrum of brown is the<br />

colour of the moment. Designers like<br />

Bottega Veneta and Jacquemus have<br />

used the earthy colour this season as<br />

a way to contrast sexy silhouettes, or<br />

ground feminine pieces, resulting in<br />

an understated elegance hard to<br />

achieve with any other hue.<br />

Unlike other dark neutrals, it’s easy to<br />

mix shades of brown in one outfit.<br />

Paired with a variety of other hues,<br />

brown looks surprisingly<br />

sophisticated, with a rich and<br />

luxurious feel, making it a great<br />

replacement for your standard black.<br />

Here, are chic ways to add one piece<br />

to your outfit, or rock head-to-toe<br />

brown outfits<br />

emporior amarni<br />

wristwatch<br />

louboutin<br />

suede ankle<br />

boot<br />

You can add a<br />

pop of brown<br />

to any outfit<br />

by simply<br />

accessorising.<br />

Add either a<br />

brown bag,<br />

shawl, a pair<br />

of sandals,<br />

shoes or bold<br />

brown leather<br />

wristwatch.<br />

Tonto<br />

Dikeh<br />

Mugler<br />

Leopard<br />

Print<br />

You can never go wrong<br />

mixing brown and<br />

black. The two neutrals<br />

complement each other<br />

to create a sophisticated<br />

look.<br />

Roberto<br />

Cavalli Animal<br />

Print Top<br />

Pair a doublebreasted<br />

tortilla brown<br />

blazer with a<br />

butterscotch<br />

yellow pegged<br />

pant and white<br />

tank bodysuit.<br />

Accessorize<br />

with a pair of<br />

stilettos.<br />

folake<br />

kuye<br />

Mercy<br />

Aigbe<br />

For a classic look, pair<br />

light brown jacket with<br />

layered flared ruffled<br />

skirt endowed with all<br />

shades of brown. Ensure<br />

jacket’s shade suits your<br />

skin tone. Complement<br />

with pointed-toe mules<br />

and a polly pocket for a<br />

more contemporary feel.<br />

Like Nancy Isime, you<br />

can try donning a cream<br />

tunic under an all-brown<br />

see-through dress. Add<br />

a pair of matching brown<br />

shoes and bag.<br />

Tom Ford Wool Pant<br />

October 25, 2020 / 3


INTERVIEW<br />

Eno Essien:<br />

Life After Cancer<br />

Words By - Yemisi Suleiman<br />

In honour of breast cancer awareness month, we speak with Eno Essien, Managing Director<br />

and CEO of Rheytrak, a Vehicle Tracking and Recovery company in Nigeria, who is a cancer<br />

survivor and an inspiring young woman who fought life with a positive attitude.<br />

For Ms. Essien, raising awareness about breast cancer holds a special place in her heart and her<br />

voice has not been silent since overcoming the killer disease. She has spoken in many fora,<br />

using her testimony to rekindle hope in people who have lost hope.<br />

Eno who is the only female CEO in the vehicle tracking industry, shares her cancer story, life<br />

after survival, career heights and more.<br />

How old were you when you were diagnosed and<br />

what was the diagnosis?<br />

I was 30years old and the diagnosis was cancer of<br />

the breast.<br />

How did you feel when you were first diagnosed,<br />

physically and psychologically?<br />

I felt a lump in my breast and after series of<br />

investigations, I had a biopsy done. The histology<br />

result came in. I remember that early Wednesday<br />

morning when a pastor friend came in, my mother and<br />

the pastor sat me down and told me that the lab result<br />

was out, and that the lump was cancerous. I was<br />

consumed with fear. I was numb. I went blank. At the<br />

time, I didn’t know people survived cancer so that<br />

made it worse. I was in shock; in fact, I died, but God<br />

strengthened me.<br />

Who, what, or where did you turn to?<br />

Those were days of roller coaster of emotions. It<br />

became clear to me that I had to turn to God, trust Him<br />

and believe every promise in my bible. My upbringing<br />

as a Christian and my faith in the Lord, saw me<br />

through the dark and uncertain days that followed.<br />

I bought a new 4 in 1 translation bible and, that<br />

turned out to be one of the best decisions I took. I was<br />

able to read those promises in different translations<br />

and that gave me a better understanding of them. The<br />

only option I had was to have faith.<br />

So yes, faith, the mustard-like faith in God was my<br />

anchor.<br />

How did your family take the news of your<br />

diagnosis?<br />

My family is the absolute best. They have been my<br />

strength, extremely supportive. They held my hands<br />

and walked with me. They gave me more strength,<br />

courage, and support than I could have asked for.<br />

They relocated with me to England. My mom was<br />

doing her Ph.D. at the University of Lagos (UNILAG)<br />

then and she gave it all up for me.<br />

There was never a day I went to the hospital alone<br />

even if it was for a blood test. My family was with me<br />

throughout and kept all my hospital appointments with<br />

me. I believe they were even more drained than I was,<br />

having to care for me. I have the best family ever. They<br />

have never left me even to this day. The sickness<br />

brought us even closer<br />

We know that a mammogram is the best test to<br />

make an early diagnosis of breast cancer but many<br />

women are scared because they think it is very<br />

painful. What was your experience like?<br />

I would not say a mammogram is painful, I would<br />

rather say a mammogram is uncomfortable. I was told<br />

that Mammograms are usually done on women aged<br />

40years and above, this made it difficult for me to get<br />

one done in Lagos. All the centers kept refusing to do<br />

one on me despite telling them about the lumps I had.<br />

Because my family and I wanted the best care and<br />

based on advice from the surgeon in Lagos, within two<br />

weeks of getting the diagnosis, we were out of Nigeria<br />

and off to England for medicare. My elder sister who is<br />

British by birth, lives in England so that was the first<br />

choice. We met with one of the best breast surgeons in<br />

England who incidentally is a Nigerian. He gave us a run<br />

down on the way the treatment would go.<br />

I had a lumpectomy, the lump, the surrounding<br />

tissues and the lymph nodes suspected to have been<br />

infiltrated by the tumor were removed. This was followed<br />

by chemotherapy and radiotherapy. The chemotherapy<br />

agent is quite toxic and probably the worst thing you can<br />

do to the human body. We said no to it. My mum was<br />

vehement about it, she said it was a bad gamble, which<br />

will be too destructive for me to be subjected to.<br />

You see, medicine is practiced differently in some<br />

places. They did not dismiss us nor become angry with<br />

us. They assembled their entire team, surgeon,<br />

oncologist, nurses, everyone and invited my family and I<br />

and painstakingly educated us. Yes it was toxic, yes it<br />

was destructive but medicine has made a lot of<br />

improvement and moved forward from the last we knew<br />

of it. They showed us why what they were offering us<br />

was the best option, so at last we agreed and we started<br />

on the chemotherapy.<br />

The treatment was terrible. I lost all my hair, all my nails<br />

came out from the nail bed, my tongue was black, eating<br />

became an impossible task, I suffered neuropathy. It was<br />

so bad that I was unable to sleep on the bed. I would fill<br />

the bath tub with water and sleep inside it over night and<br />

then have my family members take turns to check up on<br />

me so I don’t drown.<br />

Drinking water was such a challenge. It was a difficult<br />

unforgettable experience. But the Grace of the Almighty<br />

God saw me through.<br />

Medicine keeps advancing and now people take<br />

chemotherapy without experiencing all the sickness, pain<br />

and torture I went through which is fantastic.<br />

What kinds of things did you do to distract yourself<br />

when you were going through treatments, either at<br />

home or at the hospital?<br />

The breast surgeon had hammered on how<br />

important it was for me to try to live a normal life so, I<br />

stayed as happy as I could most of the time, and did a lot<br />

of fun things with my family. They took me on boat<br />

cruises and several adventures and fun places. We did a<br />

lot of retail therapy too. Cancer made me a happier<br />

person and so I focused on living and loving.<br />

The only thing I was not allowed to do was travel<br />

outside of the UK, to avoid contracting any kind of<br />

infection.<br />

We know that about 10% of all breast cancers are<br />

hereditary. Was that the case with you?<br />

No, mine wasn’t hereditary; no one in my family<br />

lineage ahead of me and after me has ever had cancer.<br />

In your opinion do you think Nigeria is doing enough<br />

in terms of creating awareness and treatment for<br />

breast cancer, if not what would you suggest?<br />

A lot of work is being done in creating awareness, it’s<br />

an ongoing thing. I did not take my treatment in Nigeria<br />

so, it will be unfair for me to comment based on the<br />

unpleasant stories I hear without having experienced<br />

what goes on.<br />

4<br />

/ October 25, 2020


INTERVIEW<br />

What was your biggest challenge during entire<br />

cancer ordeal?<br />

That would have to be the cost of treatment. It was a<br />

really very expensive treatment and I was treated in the<br />

United Kingdom as a private fee-paying patient; so you<br />

can imagine the cost. I don’t know which kills faster<br />

between the sickness and the bills. Extremely expensive<br />

as it was, the good Lord provided, He doesn’t fail. My<br />

family and I footed the bills with a few good friends. I<br />

spoke to the hospital and negotiated a payment plan and<br />

they were extremely supportive. But when you are<br />

scheduled for any appointment or procedure, you better<br />

show up with the payment receipt. Yes, it was very<br />

expensive but not more expensive than my life.<br />

At what point did Rheytrak come to be?<br />

Rheytrak was founded in 2007. I was already in<br />

business for about 6 years when I got the diagnosis.<br />

Thankfully, I had built a structure so the business ran<br />

exceptionally well in my absence. My team, headed by<br />

my Business Development Manager did fantastically.<br />

How has it been over the years?<br />

I have been living and trying to make an impact. I<br />

have been able to reach out to quite a number of afflicted<br />

people, both the patients and their relatives within and<br />

outside the country.<br />

I have given them all the information at my disposal,<br />

my experience, what treatment they can access, cost<br />

estimates, and all kinds of support.<br />

By God’s grace, I have overcome this killer disease<br />

and my voice has not been silent.<br />

I have been invited to speak in many fora and a lot of<br />

people who had lost hope have rekindled their hope,<br />

hearing from me and seeing me.<br />

Also, people have appreciated and encouraged me;<br />

for instance, the Nigerian Stock Exchange invited me to<br />

ring the closing bell in commemoration of World Cancer<br />

Day in February. This is something I really treasure as<br />

this recognition placed me in a special position.<br />

You see, 30 years ago, my dad, then the Editor of the<br />

now rested National Concord newspaper rang the<br />

Exchange closing bell. We made history as the first<br />

father and daughter to perform the ceremonial bell<br />

ringing in Nigeria. Recently, on the 33rd anniversary of<br />

my state, Akwa Ibom, the State recognized and<br />

celebrated us for being the first father and daughter to<br />

do this. So, I can say, God made all things to work for<br />

my good. He turned the bad situation for my good. I<br />

killed cancer by God’s grace instead of it killing me.<br />

Who or what is your biggest inspiration in<br />

life?<br />

God Almighty, myself, my journey.<br />

My family; my parents and my siblings and<br />

the amazing bond we share.<br />

I am inspired by the several stories of<br />

strong, powerful, successful women ahead of<br />

me.<br />

You are obviously very fashionable,<br />

what does fashion mean to you and<br />

how would you describe your<br />

dress sense?<br />

Fashion is about showing your<br />

identity. It is the first thing people<br />

look at to interpret who you are. It<br />

shows what choices you make,<br />

what type of person you are and<br />

shows the world what you stand for.<br />

It gives a glimpse into someone’s<br />

personality. It’s how you<br />

Medicine keeps<br />

advancing and<br />

now people take<br />

chemotherapy<br />

without<br />

experiencing all<br />

the sickness,<br />

pain and torture<br />

I went through<br />

which is<br />

fantastic.<br />

differentiate yourself from other people. Ultimately, it<br />

is an individual’s statement of self-expression.<br />

Fashion is what I’m comfortable in. Comfort is key. I<br />

wear clothes that suit my body type. My style is<br />

simple and easy.<br />

What do you like to do in your spare time?<br />

I read books. Watch movies and religious<br />

programmes. I cook. I spend time with my family.<br />

Where are you now in your journey with Cancer?<br />

This is eight years after. I am totally healed and<br />

whole and I know that when the Lord heals, He heals<br />

completely.<br />

What advice would you give to any body facing<br />

cancer or any life-threatening illness?<br />

First of all, just breathe, you will be fine. You are<br />

sick and should go to the hospital. That is the only<br />

place people with sickness are treated. That is why<br />

hospitals are built. Then back up the treatment with<br />

prayers. Have faith and believe that you will<br />

overcome and stay there because a doubleminded<br />

man will not receive. Rather than<br />

google about the disease, search your<br />

Bible for healing scriptures. When you<br />

do start treatment, please cut your<br />

hair. Seeing my hair fall was<br />

difficult. Stay happy because your<br />

strong spirit will see you through<br />

this infirmity.<br />

You can also reach out to<br />

me, I am happy to hold your<br />

hand and walk the journey<br />

with you as I have done with<br />

so many women.<br />

October 25, 2020 / 5


licensed marriage and family therapist, Jill<br />

Whitney. ‘’They may think they have to act like<br />

porn stars and nothing could be further from<br />

the truth. Most porn is designed to appeal to<br />

men, what’s shown is not at all what’s<br />

appealing to most women. Porn is a lousy<br />

template for a guy who wants to be a good<br />

lover.”<br />

with Adesuwa 07011289316 | adesuwaewoigbokhan@hotmail.com<br />

Be A Sexually Confident Man<br />

A<br />

modern man has to deal with the sexual<br />

media content all the time. Pictures of<br />

handsome, athletic, half naked men are<br />

shown in mainstream magazines and street<br />

billboards in every city. Easy access to porn where<br />

every woman seems pleased by her partner in every<br />

sexual position can cause a man to feel insecure<br />

when he is entering the bedroom with his lady.<br />

Here’s how to be more confident in bed.<br />

Educating yourself is one of the best things you<br />

can do in order to feel more confident. Unfortunately,<br />

they don’t teach “how to please women 101” in Sex<br />

Education. “Sex education usually just covers the<br />

basics of biology,” says certified counselor, Jonathan<br />

Bennett.<br />

Men aren’t normally taught how to please a<br />

woman; usually, that comes through experience and<br />

open communication with partners. Consequently,<br />

men with little sexual experience can feel insecure<br />

and clueless, leading to a lack of confidence.<br />

Be realistic about a woman’s desires and wants.<br />

Another thing that’s likely killing your confidence in<br />

bed is, focusing on what the media tells you about<br />

what ladies value when it comes to things like penis<br />

size, and the duration that sex is supposed to last.<br />

Sexual intimacy is more about quality versus<br />

longevity. For most, “a good orgasm can take all of two<br />

minutes and 80% of women orgasm by clitoral<br />

stimulation rather than penetration.’’<br />

Stop viewing intercourse as a performance -this is a<br />

two-person effort, if not ,one will just settle for<br />

masturbation. Stop feeling pressured to perform and if<br />

you mess it up, it’s all on you. “Guys sometimes feel<br />

anxious about sexual interactions because they think<br />

of sex as something on which they’ll be judged,” says<br />

Put more effort into your appearance by<br />

going to the gym; and if your closet mostly<br />

consists of ironic t-shirts and worn-out jeans,<br />

of course you’re not going to feel confident<br />

stripping down and giving it to your girl. The<br />

fastest way to boost your confidence is<br />

building it from the outside to inside. There’s<br />

no better aphrodisiac than feeling like you look<br />

good, so give yourself that gift. You’re going to<br />

feel really good about your body when you’ve<br />

lost the weight or gotten fit, and that’s going to<br />

make you less self conscious in bed.<br />

In addition to working out, show the rest of<br />

your body some love, by getting yourself some<br />

great grooming products. You will feel good<br />

about yourself, and this will increase your<br />

confidence in bed and out of bed.<br />

Losing some weight and buying<br />

some new clothes really cannot hurt.<br />

So, treat sex as a regular activity. No<br />

need to start acting differently,<br />

intercourse is a normal act that people<br />

do indulge in, like eating, laughing, or<br />

sleeping. See it as one of your goals<br />

and make it a natural part of your<br />

relationship. A well-maintained body is<br />

one of your most reliable assets when<br />

it comes to sex.<br />

On a final note, learn what she<br />

likes and become the best lover she<br />

has ever had. If a woman is naked<br />

with you in bed, what other proof of<br />

your attractiveness and manhood do<br />

you need?<br />

Stop over thinking and have fun!<br />

Soro Soke !<br />

How to create an Accent Wall in your Bedroom<br />

Designing your bedroom is not as easy as you think. Regardless of your<br />

bedroom size, a bed is always that one big thing that is going to be in the center<br />

of it all amongst other accessories such as lights, furniture etc.<br />

The best way to add character to your bedroom is to create an accent wall and<br />

give it that <strong>allure</strong> that it was so badly missing.<br />

A room has four walls and you may be wondering which wall to use as the<br />

accent wall. The first thing you notice when you go into a bedroom is usually<br />

the bed, so your best option is the wall behind the bed.<br />

Here are tips on how to make your accent wall alluring and add character.<br />

Bring nature indoor<br />

A bedroom is a place where you come to relax, de-stress, and rest. And what is a better<br />

place to do all three than with nature? A very effective way of doing this is to hang plants<br />

on the feature wall. It is simple but very effective. It gives a whole atmosphere to the<br />

room and creates a relaxing environment.<br />

Paint<br />

This is the simplest, most affordable and easiest way to decorate your accent wall. You<br />

can paint the whole accent wall with one bold paint colour or play around with paint by<br />

using stripes, patterns, circles.<br />

Wallpapers<br />

Wallpapers are an amazing way to make your walls create the WOW factor. They<br />

work best in a room where the other walls are of brighter and saturated colours, or<br />

where the majority of the décor in the room is made up of solid colours.<br />

Wood<br />

Wood paneling can add a natural and warm element to your room.<br />

It can be used as a headboard in your bedroom.<br />

Photos<br />

Put all your favourite photos on the accent wall. A bedroom is a very personal<br />

space and your collection of photos also adds a very personal touch to the<br />

bedroom and is a very good way of seeing your most cherished memories every<br />

day and lighten up your mood.<br />

Tiles<br />

Tiles are a very interesting way to decorate the accent wall. E.g. marble, mosaics,<br />

and other materials give your walls that extra punch to make your bedroom<br />

awesome.<br />

6<br />

/ October 25, 2020


Finding<br />

<strong>allure</strong> after<br />

Mastectomy<br />

By - Josephine Agbonkhese<br />

Angelina Jolie opted for double<br />

mastectomy in 2013 to stay alive<br />

There’s just something mysterious about<br />

the woman’s breasts. These two stylised<br />

protrusions on the woman’s chest have<br />

always been seen especially by the<br />

opposite sex, as unusual and fascinating.<br />

As a result, from childhood, the male child is<br />

remarkably more obsessed with the mother’s<br />

breasts than the female, seeing them as a source<br />

of food and comfort. As the child progresses into<br />

adulthood, this obsession is transferred to those of<br />

his lover.<br />

“The breasts were the first things I was ever<br />

introduced to as a child. Remember, even the<br />

Bible says the child will always go the way he was<br />

trained. So, we’ve been so wired from birth. That’s<br />

why you see babies swing their legs in excitement<br />

while sucking from their mother’s breasts. As a<br />

father, I get really jealous seeing this because I<br />

feel they are mine,” Johnson Ariyo, a 35-year-old<br />

Computer Engineer, said to Vanguard Allure of the<br />

attraction to a woman’s breasts.<br />

“Read your Bible very well and you will find that<br />

one of the things which made Adam eat from Eve<br />

even when he knew that was the forbidden fruit,<br />

were her breasts. The fall of great men have often<br />

been because of the woman’s breasts” says Elias<br />

Ebohon, a Lagos residence.<br />

But the breasts, which clearly defines a<br />

woman’s femininity, can also be extremely lethal<br />

- no thanks to breast cancer. In extreme cases, a<br />

woman may require a mastectomy in other to stay<br />

alive.<br />

A mastectomy, which can be done as part of<br />

treatment for breast cancer or, in some cases, to<br />

help prevent breast cancer in women who have a<br />

high risk for it, refers to the surgical removal of one<br />

or both breasts.<br />

As frightening as this might sound, frankly,<br />

one only just has to be a woman to be at risk of<br />

breast cancer, and thousands of women globally<br />

are opting for mastectomy in order to stay alive.<br />

Hollywood actress, Angelina Jolie, in 2013 for<br />

example, had to undergo double mastectomy to<br />

reduce her chances of getting breast cancer after<br />

her doctor estimated she had an 87% risk of the<br />

disease.<br />

But how does life feel post-mastectomy since<br />

the breasts also serve the aesthetic value of<br />

adding glamour to the woman’s silhouette?<br />

Some survivors bare their minds.<br />

“I am comfortable in my own skin” says Anne<br />

Peter (not real names), a 41-year-old breast<br />

cancer survivor who had a double mastectomy<br />

in 2017. “I do not feel one inch less of a woman.<br />

Mastectomy doesn’t make us less beautiful or<br />

feminine. In fact, society needs to teach women to<br />

accept ourselves more as humans than as sexy<br />

women.”<br />

For Adeosun Bosede Adeyombo, a 58-year-old<br />

survivor who went through a single mastectomy as<br />

part of her breast cancer treatment, all she feels<br />

post-mastectomy is peace and happiness.<br />

“It doesn’t change anything. In fact, it is only<br />

when I’m in the room that I remember I have only<br />

one breast. When I’m outside, I don’t remember<br />

at all and you will never know anything happened<br />

to me. It is all about faith; and survival also heavily<br />

involves money. It does not affect my self-esteem<br />

in any way. Thank God my husband too is very<br />

understanding.<br />

“In fact, removing the affected breast makes me<br />

always happy because the pain is gone. We have<br />

a support group that also teaches us how to feel<br />

good about ourselves without feeling awkward.<br />

Now, all I do is follow-up checks; I do not have to<br />

worry about cancer anymore. I also ensure I don’t<br />

eat junk foods. I make sure I cook my food myself;<br />

all my foods are natural now.”<br />

While survivors might feel indifferent about<br />

losing one or both breasts to stay alive, one<br />

wonders what the actual feeling of the man who<br />

finds the woman’s breasts fascinating, will be.<br />

Ugbeni Francis, a Lagos-based realtor, told<br />

Vanguard Allure his biggest attractions to his wife<br />

are her intelligence and industriousness rather<br />

than any body part.<br />

“Naturally, God has made us complete.<br />

Once such happens, as humans, it has a way of<br />

reducing some attraction. But as a Christian, I will<br />

accept it in good faith.<br />

“Instead of it triggering a divorce, it will<br />

strengthen me more to be with my partner. I will<br />

do all I can to show her more empathy; it shouldn’t<br />

reduce my love in any way. Otherwise, such a<br />

survivor could suffer depression.<br />

“I must say, however, that my first points of<br />

attraction to my wife are her intelligence and<br />

industriousness.<br />

“She is intelligent and hardworking. Facially,<br />

she is also very beautiful. For me, her intelligence<br />

is the asset I have. So, the breasts do not matter,”<br />

Ugbeni explained.<br />

Ebohon Stanley, a 29-year-old bachelor thinks<br />

differently.<br />

“Why would I stick to a woman who has lost<br />

her breasts? What then I’m I marrying? What<br />

will even take me to her in the first place? I won’t<br />

have anything to play with! No feeding bottle will<br />

be like the breasts. I’m sorry to say this but if we<br />

were married before the ailment, I will have to seek<br />

pleasure outside. Though it may not affect my<br />

marriage, I do not think I will find it easy even if she<br />

goes for reconstruction.”<br />

Bayo Adesina, a 33-year-old about to walk<br />

down the aisle, said that no deformity would make<br />

him turn his back on the woman in his life.<br />

“The breasts should not be an issue because<br />

love and companionship are most important.<br />

Personally, I do not think I should abandon anyone<br />

simply because of any deformity because I do<br />

not know what the next minute would result to<br />

for me. A cousin of mine always mocked a lady<br />

with crippled legs in his neighbourhood. Then,<br />

suddenly, he was involved in an auto-crash with<br />

his friend and he lost an eye. So, mastectomy<br />

should not affect any relationship. Besides,<br />

marriage is supposed to be for better for worse.”<br />

Mastectomy is real; just as breast cancer is<br />

real—and more and more women are choosing to<br />

stay alive by opting for the removal of their breasts<br />

to cut down their risks of breast cancer. While<br />

some consider a breast reconstruction procedure<br />

after a mastectomy, others opt for using a breast<br />

form or prosthesis (inside the bra or attached to<br />

the body to wear under their clothes), or even the<br />

option of going flat (not wearing a breast form).<br />

Whichever option a survivor chooses to<br />

embrace, as the global community spreads<br />

awareness on breast cancer this October, it is only<br />

humane that society understands the importance<br />

of helping survivors embrace their new bodies.<br />

At present, due to fear of stigmatisation<br />

caused by ignorance on the part of members of<br />

the public, most breast cancer survivors dread<br />

being identified as one; especially those who had<br />

to undergo a mastectomy. There is therefore, a<br />

need for more awareness on this reality which is<br />

currently the new normal for millions of women<br />

worldwide, who would rather die with this secret<br />

than open up.<br />

October 25, 2020 / 7


INSTAGRAM<br />

MOMENTS<br />

With Yemisi Suleiman<br />

This week on Instagram Moments shows some iconic images and events<br />

from the unrest at #ENDSARS protest.<br />

They took all my years of<br />

struggle...... Uche Elendu<br />

The #EndSARS protest took another dimension last<br />

week as hoodlums under the guise of protesters,<br />

took to streets in Lagos destroying government and<br />

private properties including; small scale businesses.<br />

One of the Bussiness owners affected by this<br />

mayhem, was Nollywood actress Uche Elendu, who not<br />

long ago opened a lifestyle store in Lagos. The actress<br />

who was obviously depressed by this, said while she was<br />

still struggling to recover from the shock of innocent lives<br />

taken at the Lekki shootings, her work and investment is<br />

gone, looted by the very people they are fighting for.<br />

She wrote “ They took all my years of struggle and hardwork<br />

from me.. everything (with the heartbroken emoji) .. I thank<br />

God for life. Posterity will judge all of you. E shock me ooooo.”<br />

#EndSars<br />

protesters at<br />

Lekki<br />

This photo shows a huge<br />

gathering of Nigerian youths at<br />

the Lekki Toll Gate, just before<br />

armed soldiers fired live rounds<br />

at unarmed protesters at a<br />

peaceful roadblock. The people<br />

were protesting police brutality<br />

and extra-judicial killings.<br />

Burnaboy leads protest in<br />

London<br />

Award-winning music star, Burnaboy was spotted<br />

live in London, lending his voice to the #EndSARS<br />

movement with other protesters in London.<br />

Selfless DJSwitich<br />

Female disc jokey, DJSwitch was the star of the moment<br />

last week, as she along with a few others, played a<br />

key role in saving lives at the Lekki #EndSARS protest<br />

grounds after the military opened fire on unarmed<br />

protesters. Switch’s selfless courage was hailed by<br />

everyone on social media and she was named heroine of<br />

the struggle.<br />

Beyonce shows support for<br />

#EndSARS Movement<br />

After two weeks of the #EndSARS protest by Nigerian<br />

youths, world music icon, Beyonce, finally came out<br />

to lend her voice to the #EndSARS campaign.‎<br />

In a post shared on her Instagram page, the<br />

award-winning singer said she is heartbroken<br />

to see the senseless brutality taking place<br />

in Nigeria, and has been working with youth<br />

organisations to support those protesting for<br />

change.‎<br />

The post read, “I am heartbroken to see the<br />

senseless brutality taking place in Nigeria. There<br />

has to be an end to SARS. To our Nigerian sisters<br />

and brothers, we stand with you.”

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