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Eno Essien:<br />
Life After Cancer<br />
October 25, 2020
6<br />
3<br />
6<br />
IN THIS ISSUE<br />
email: <strong>allure</strong>fortheworld@vanguardngr.com<br />
HAPPINESS<br />
4 Cover: Eno Essien:<br />
Life After Cancer<br />
6 Sexmatics: Be A Sexually<br />
Confident Man<br />
CELEBRATION<br />
3<br />
7<br />
Fashion : Brown: The New Black<br />
Living : Finding Allure After<br />
Mastectomy<br />
25 OCTOBER 2020<br />
8 Instagram Moments<br />
WELCOME...<br />
Quotes<br />
October 20, 2020, now termed<br />
Black Tuesday, will remain a date<br />
Nigerians, especially the youths,<br />
will never forget in history.<br />
Armed soldiers, under the cover<br />
of darkness, marched in on<br />
Nigerian youths on a peaceful<br />
protest against police brutality at the<br />
Lekki Toll Gate, and rained bullets<br />
on them, killing several.<br />
Since then, Nigerians have<br />
waited with baited breath to hear<br />
from their president. Almost at press time, spoke, calling on<br />
the youths to end the protests as their voices have been<br />
heard. However, the speech left many even more<br />
frustrated, as his it lacked empathy for the families of those<br />
who lost their loved ones at the Lekki massacre.<br />
As usual with everything Nigerian, an ethnic narrative is<br />
being thrown into the mix to water down this bloody attack<br />
on innocent Nigerian youths.<br />
One thing is clear: It is easier for one diagnosed with the<br />
dreaded breast cancer to live than a peaceful Nigerian<br />
protester with no history of any medical ailment.<br />
Events of the past two weeks in the country have been<br />
so engaging, turning October, the breast cancer awareness<br />
month, into one of protests, arson, unwarranted killings,<br />
looting, jail breaks, and all sorts of unpleasantness.<br />
As we pray for peace for our dear country, we share with<br />
you the cheery story of Eno Essien, CEO, Rheytrak, a<br />
vehicle tracking and recovery<br />
company, who survived breast<br />
J . E<br />
cancer against all odds.<br />
Jemi Ekunkunbor<br />
As we step into a new week, we<br />
lookposh2017@gmail.com<br />
wish all our readers a violence-free 08052201126<br />
week.<br />
“Never allow a person<br />
to tell you no who<br />
doesn’t have the<br />
power to say yes”.<br />
- Eleanor Roosevelt<br />
“He that will enjoy<br />
the brightness of<br />
sunshine, must quit<br />
the coolness of the<br />
shade”.<br />
- Samuel Johnson<br />
“Better a little which<br />
is well done, than a<br />
great deal<br />
imperfectly”.<br />
- Plato<br />
3<br />
EDITOR<br />
JEMI EKUNKUNBOR<br />
ASST. EDITOR<br />
YEMISI SULEIMAN<br />
REPORTER<br />
Josephine Agbonkhese<br />
COPY EDITOR<br />
DODOIYI WILLIAM-WEST<br />
PHOTO<br />
OSCAR OCHIOGU<br />
(08034746487)<br />
TEAM<br />
CONTRIBUTORS<br />
LINDA ORAJEKWE<br />
ADESUWA<br />
EWOIGBOKHAN<br />
BAMIYO ISELEMA EMINA<br />
LAYOUT / DESIGN<br />
OLAYIWOLA AJAGBE<br />
HEAD OF PRODUCTION<br />
CHARLES KAMMA<br />
HEAD MARKETING<br />
JANET NAJOMOH<br />
(08037156911)<br />
Printed and published by Vanguard Media Ltd<br />
Vanguard Avenue Kirikiri Canal; P.M.B 1007 Apapa, Lagos.
Brown:<br />
FASHION<br />
The New<br />
Black<br />
By - Josephine Agbonkhese<br />
shoulder bag<br />
leather belt<br />
Gucci shawl<br />
From deep chocolate to light sand,<br />
the entire spectrum of brown is the<br />
colour of the moment. Designers like<br />
Bottega Veneta and Jacquemus have<br />
used the earthy colour this season as<br />
a way to contrast sexy silhouettes, or<br />
ground feminine pieces, resulting in<br />
an understated elegance hard to<br />
achieve with any other hue.<br />
Unlike other dark neutrals, it’s easy to<br />
mix shades of brown in one outfit.<br />
Paired with a variety of other hues,<br />
brown looks surprisingly<br />
sophisticated, with a rich and<br />
luxurious feel, making it a great<br />
replacement for your standard black.<br />
Here, are chic ways to add one piece<br />
to your outfit, or rock head-to-toe<br />
brown outfits<br />
emporior amarni<br />
wristwatch<br />
louboutin<br />
suede ankle<br />
boot<br />
You can add a<br />
pop of brown<br />
to any outfit<br />
by simply<br />
accessorising.<br />
Add either a<br />
brown bag,<br />
shawl, a pair<br />
of sandals,<br />
shoes or bold<br />
brown leather<br />
wristwatch.<br />
Tonto<br />
Dikeh<br />
Mugler<br />
Leopard<br />
Print<br />
You can never go wrong<br />
mixing brown and<br />
black. The two neutrals<br />
complement each other<br />
to create a sophisticated<br />
look.<br />
Roberto<br />
Cavalli Animal<br />
Print Top<br />
Pair a doublebreasted<br />
tortilla brown<br />
blazer with a<br />
butterscotch<br />
yellow pegged<br />
pant and white<br />
tank bodysuit.<br />
Accessorize<br />
with a pair of<br />
stilettos.<br />
folake<br />
kuye<br />
Mercy<br />
Aigbe<br />
For a classic look, pair<br />
light brown jacket with<br />
layered flared ruffled<br />
skirt endowed with all<br />
shades of brown. Ensure<br />
jacket’s shade suits your<br />
skin tone. Complement<br />
with pointed-toe mules<br />
and a polly pocket for a<br />
more contemporary feel.<br />
Like Nancy Isime, you<br />
can try donning a cream<br />
tunic under an all-brown<br />
see-through dress. Add<br />
a pair of matching brown<br />
shoes and bag.<br />
Tom Ford Wool Pant<br />
October 25, 2020 / 3
INTERVIEW<br />
Eno Essien:<br />
Life After Cancer<br />
Words By - Yemisi Suleiman<br />
In honour of breast cancer awareness month, we speak with Eno Essien, Managing Director<br />
and CEO of Rheytrak, a Vehicle Tracking and Recovery company in Nigeria, who is a cancer<br />
survivor and an inspiring young woman who fought life with a positive attitude.<br />
For Ms. Essien, raising awareness about breast cancer holds a special place in her heart and her<br />
voice has not been silent since overcoming the killer disease. She has spoken in many fora,<br />
using her testimony to rekindle hope in people who have lost hope.<br />
Eno who is the only female CEO in the vehicle tracking industry, shares her cancer story, life<br />
after survival, career heights and more.<br />
How old were you when you were diagnosed and<br />
what was the diagnosis?<br />
I was 30years old and the diagnosis was cancer of<br />
the breast.<br />
How did you feel when you were first diagnosed,<br />
physically and psychologically?<br />
I felt a lump in my breast and after series of<br />
investigations, I had a biopsy done. The histology<br />
result came in. I remember that early Wednesday<br />
morning when a pastor friend came in, my mother and<br />
the pastor sat me down and told me that the lab result<br />
was out, and that the lump was cancerous. I was<br />
consumed with fear. I was numb. I went blank. At the<br />
time, I didn’t know people survived cancer so that<br />
made it worse. I was in shock; in fact, I died, but God<br />
strengthened me.<br />
Who, what, or where did you turn to?<br />
Those were days of roller coaster of emotions. It<br />
became clear to me that I had to turn to God, trust Him<br />
and believe every promise in my bible. My upbringing<br />
as a Christian and my faith in the Lord, saw me<br />
through the dark and uncertain days that followed.<br />
I bought a new 4 in 1 translation bible and, that<br />
turned out to be one of the best decisions I took. I was<br />
able to read those promises in different translations<br />
and that gave me a better understanding of them. The<br />
only option I had was to have faith.<br />
So yes, faith, the mustard-like faith in God was my<br />
anchor.<br />
How did your family take the news of your<br />
diagnosis?<br />
My family is the absolute best. They have been my<br />
strength, extremely supportive. They held my hands<br />
and walked with me. They gave me more strength,<br />
courage, and support than I could have asked for.<br />
They relocated with me to England. My mom was<br />
doing her Ph.D. at the University of Lagos (UNILAG)<br />
then and she gave it all up for me.<br />
There was never a day I went to the hospital alone<br />
even if it was for a blood test. My family was with me<br />
throughout and kept all my hospital appointments with<br />
me. I believe they were even more drained than I was,<br />
having to care for me. I have the best family ever. They<br />
have never left me even to this day. The sickness<br />
brought us even closer<br />
We know that a mammogram is the best test to<br />
make an early diagnosis of breast cancer but many<br />
women are scared because they think it is very<br />
painful. What was your experience like?<br />
I would not say a mammogram is painful, I would<br />
rather say a mammogram is uncomfortable. I was told<br />
that Mammograms are usually done on women aged<br />
40years and above, this made it difficult for me to get<br />
one done in Lagos. All the centers kept refusing to do<br />
one on me despite telling them about the lumps I had.<br />
Because my family and I wanted the best care and<br />
based on advice from the surgeon in Lagos, within two<br />
weeks of getting the diagnosis, we were out of Nigeria<br />
and off to England for medicare. My elder sister who is<br />
British by birth, lives in England so that was the first<br />
choice. We met with one of the best breast surgeons in<br />
England who incidentally is a Nigerian. He gave us a run<br />
down on the way the treatment would go.<br />
I had a lumpectomy, the lump, the surrounding<br />
tissues and the lymph nodes suspected to have been<br />
infiltrated by the tumor were removed. This was followed<br />
by chemotherapy and radiotherapy. The chemotherapy<br />
agent is quite toxic and probably the worst thing you can<br />
do to the human body. We said no to it. My mum was<br />
vehement about it, she said it was a bad gamble, which<br />
will be too destructive for me to be subjected to.<br />
You see, medicine is practiced differently in some<br />
places. They did not dismiss us nor become angry with<br />
us. They assembled their entire team, surgeon,<br />
oncologist, nurses, everyone and invited my family and I<br />
and painstakingly educated us. Yes it was toxic, yes it<br />
was destructive but medicine has made a lot of<br />
improvement and moved forward from the last we knew<br />
of it. They showed us why what they were offering us<br />
was the best option, so at last we agreed and we started<br />
on the chemotherapy.<br />
The treatment was terrible. I lost all my hair, all my nails<br />
came out from the nail bed, my tongue was black, eating<br />
became an impossible task, I suffered neuropathy. It was<br />
so bad that I was unable to sleep on the bed. I would fill<br />
the bath tub with water and sleep inside it over night and<br />
then have my family members take turns to check up on<br />
me so I don’t drown.<br />
Drinking water was such a challenge. It was a difficult<br />
unforgettable experience. But the Grace of the Almighty<br />
God saw me through.<br />
Medicine keeps advancing and now people take<br />
chemotherapy without experiencing all the sickness, pain<br />
and torture I went through which is fantastic.<br />
What kinds of things did you do to distract yourself<br />
when you were going through treatments, either at<br />
home or at the hospital?<br />
The breast surgeon had hammered on how<br />
important it was for me to try to live a normal life so, I<br />
stayed as happy as I could most of the time, and did a lot<br />
of fun things with my family. They took me on boat<br />
cruises and several adventures and fun places. We did a<br />
lot of retail therapy too. Cancer made me a happier<br />
person and so I focused on living and loving.<br />
The only thing I was not allowed to do was travel<br />
outside of the UK, to avoid contracting any kind of<br />
infection.<br />
We know that about 10% of all breast cancers are<br />
hereditary. Was that the case with you?<br />
No, mine wasn’t hereditary; no one in my family<br />
lineage ahead of me and after me has ever had cancer.<br />
In your opinion do you think Nigeria is doing enough<br />
in terms of creating awareness and treatment for<br />
breast cancer, if not what would you suggest?<br />
A lot of work is being done in creating awareness, it’s<br />
an ongoing thing. I did not take my treatment in Nigeria<br />
so, it will be unfair for me to comment based on the<br />
unpleasant stories I hear without having experienced<br />
what goes on.<br />
4<br />
/ October 25, 2020
INTERVIEW<br />
What was your biggest challenge during entire<br />
cancer ordeal?<br />
That would have to be the cost of treatment. It was a<br />
really very expensive treatment and I was treated in the<br />
United Kingdom as a private fee-paying patient; so you<br />
can imagine the cost. I don’t know which kills faster<br />
between the sickness and the bills. Extremely expensive<br />
as it was, the good Lord provided, He doesn’t fail. My<br />
family and I footed the bills with a few good friends. I<br />
spoke to the hospital and negotiated a payment plan and<br />
they were extremely supportive. But when you are<br />
scheduled for any appointment or procedure, you better<br />
show up with the payment receipt. Yes, it was very<br />
expensive but not more expensive than my life.<br />
At what point did Rheytrak come to be?<br />
Rheytrak was founded in 2007. I was already in<br />
business for about 6 years when I got the diagnosis.<br />
Thankfully, I had built a structure so the business ran<br />
exceptionally well in my absence. My team, headed by<br />
my Business Development Manager did fantastically.<br />
How has it been over the years?<br />
I have been living and trying to make an impact. I<br />
have been able to reach out to quite a number of afflicted<br />
people, both the patients and their relatives within and<br />
outside the country.<br />
I have given them all the information at my disposal,<br />
my experience, what treatment they can access, cost<br />
estimates, and all kinds of support.<br />
By God’s grace, I have overcome this killer disease<br />
and my voice has not been silent.<br />
I have been invited to speak in many fora and a lot of<br />
people who had lost hope have rekindled their hope,<br />
hearing from me and seeing me.<br />
Also, people have appreciated and encouraged me;<br />
for instance, the Nigerian Stock Exchange invited me to<br />
ring the closing bell in commemoration of World Cancer<br />
Day in February. This is something I really treasure as<br />
this recognition placed me in a special position.<br />
You see, 30 years ago, my dad, then the Editor of the<br />
now rested National Concord newspaper rang the<br />
Exchange closing bell. We made history as the first<br />
father and daughter to perform the ceremonial bell<br />
ringing in Nigeria. Recently, on the 33rd anniversary of<br />
my state, Akwa Ibom, the State recognized and<br />
celebrated us for being the first father and daughter to<br />
do this. So, I can say, God made all things to work for<br />
my good. He turned the bad situation for my good. I<br />
killed cancer by God’s grace instead of it killing me.<br />
Who or what is your biggest inspiration in<br />
life?<br />
God Almighty, myself, my journey.<br />
My family; my parents and my siblings and<br />
the amazing bond we share.<br />
I am inspired by the several stories of<br />
strong, powerful, successful women ahead of<br />
me.<br />
You are obviously very fashionable,<br />
what does fashion mean to you and<br />
how would you describe your<br />
dress sense?<br />
Fashion is about showing your<br />
identity. It is the first thing people<br />
look at to interpret who you are. It<br />
shows what choices you make,<br />
what type of person you are and<br />
shows the world what you stand for.<br />
It gives a glimpse into someone’s<br />
personality. It’s how you<br />
Medicine keeps<br />
advancing and<br />
now people take<br />
chemotherapy<br />
without<br />
experiencing all<br />
the sickness,<br />
pain and torture<br />
I went through<br />
which is<br />
fantastic.<br />
differentiate yourself from other people. Ultimately, it<br />
is an individual’s statement of self-expression.<br />
Fashion is what I’m comfortable in. Comfort is key. I<br />
wear clothes that suit my body type. My style is<br />
simple and easy.<br />
What do you like to do in your spare time?<br />
I read books. Watch movies and religious<br />
programmes. I cook. I spend time with my family.<br />
Where are you now in your journey with Cancer?<br />
This is eight years after. I am totally healed and<br />
whole and I know that when the Lord heals, He heals<br />
completely.<br />
What advice would you give to any body facing<br />
cancer or any life-threatening illness?<br />
First of all, just breathe, you will be fine. You are<br />
sick and should go to the hospital. That is the only<br />
place people with sickness are treated. That is why<br />
hospitals are built. Then back up the treatment with<br />
prayers. Have faith and believe that you will<br />
overcome and stay there because a doubleminded<br />
man will not receive. Rather than<br />
google about the disease, search your<br />
Bible for healing scriptures. When you<br />
do start treatment, please cut your<br />
hair. Seeing my hair fall was<br />
difficult. Stay happy because your<br />
strong spirit will see you through<br />
this infirmity.<br />
You can also reach out to<br />
me, I am happy to hold your<br />
hand and walk the journey<br />
with you as I have done with<br />
so many women.<br />
October 25, 2020 / 5
licensed marriage and family therapist, Jill<br />
Whitney. ‘’They may think they have to act like<br />
porn stars and nothing could be further from<br />
the truth. Most porn is designed to appeal to<br />
men, what’s shown is not at all what’s<br />
appealing to most women. Porn is a lousy<br />
template for a guy who wants to be a good<br />
lover.”<br />
with Adesuwa 07011289316 | adesuwaewoigbokhan@hotmail.com<br />
Be A Sexually Confident Man<br />
A<br />
modern man has to deal with the sexual<br />
media content all the time. Pictures of<br />
handsome, athletic, half naked men are<br />
shown in mainstream magazines and street<br />
billboards in every city. Easy access to porn where<br />
every woman seems pleased by her partner in every<br />
sexual position can cause a man to feel insecure<br />
when he is entering the bedroom with his lady.<br />
Here’s how to be more confident in bed.<br />
Educating yourself is one of the best things you<br />
can do in order to feel more confident. Unfortunately,<br />
they don’t teach “how to please women 101” in Sex<br />
Education. “Sex education usually just covers the<br />
basics of biology,” says certified counselor, Jonathan<br />
Bennett.<br />
Men aren’t normally taught how to please a<br />
woman; usually, that comes through experience and<br />
open communication with partners. Consequently,<br />
men with little sexual experience can feel insecure<br />
and clueless, leading to a lack of confidence.<br />
Be realistic about a woman’s desires and wants.<br />
Another thing that’s likely killing your confidence in<br />
bed is, focusing on what the media tells you about<br />
what ladies value when it comes to things like penis<br />
size, and the duration that sex is supposed to last.<br />
Sexual intimacy is more about quality versus<br />
longevity. For most, “a good orgasm can take all of two<br />
minutes and 80% of women orgasm by clitoral<br />
stimulation rather than penetration.’’<br />
Stop viewing intercourse as a performance -this is a<br />
two-person effort, if not ,one will just settle for<br />
masturbation. Stop feeling pressured to perform and if<br />
you mess it up, it’s all on you. “Guys sometimes feel<br />
anxious about sexual interactions because they think<br />
of sex as something on which they’ll be judged,” says<br />
Put more effort into your appearance by<br />
going to the gym; and if your closet mostly<br />
consists of ironic t-shirts and worn-out jeans,<br />
of course you’re not going to feel confident<br />
stripping down and giving it to your girl. The<br />
fastest way to boost your confidence is<br />
building it from the outside to inside. There’s<br />
no better aphrodisiac than feeling like you look<br />
good, so give yourself that gift. You’re going to<br />
feel really good about your body when you’ve<br />
lost the weight or gotten fit, and that’s going to<br />
make you less self conscious in bed.<br />
In addition to working out, show the rest of<br />
your body some love, by getting yourself some<br />
great grooming products. You will feel good<br />
about yourself, and this will increase your<br />
confidence in bed and out of bed.<br />
Losing some weight and buying<br />
some new clothes really cannot hurt.<br />
So, treat sex as a regular activity. No<br />
need to start acting differently,<br />
intercourse is a normal act that people<br />
do indulge in, like eating, laughing, or<br />
sleeping. See it as one of your goals<br />
and make it a natural part of your<br />
relationship. A well-maintained body is<br />
one of your most reliable assets when<br />
it comes to sex.<br />
On a final note, learn what she<br />
likes and become the best lover she<br />
has ever had. If a woman is naked<br />
with you in bed, what other proof of<br />
your attractiveness and manhood do<br />
you need?<br />
Stop over thinking and have fun!<br />
Soro Soke !<br />
How to create an Accent Wall in your Bedroom<br />
Designing your bedroom is not as easy as you think. Regardless of your<br />
bedroom size, a bed is always that one big thing that is going to be in the center<br />
of it all amongst other accessories such as lights, furniture etc.<br />
The best way to add character to your bedroom is to create an accent wall and<br />
give it that <strong>allure</strong> that it was so badly missing.<br />
A room has four walls and you may be wondering which wall to use as the<br />
accent wall. The first thing you notice when you go into a bedroom is usually<br />
the bed, so your best option is the wall behind the bed.<br />
Here are tips on how to make your accent wall alluring and add character.<br />
Bring nature indoor<br />
A bedroom is a place where you come to relax, de-stress, and rest. And what is a better<br />
place to do all three than with nature? A very effective way of doing this is to hang plants<br />
on the feature wall. It is simple but very effective. It gives a whole atmosphere to the<br />
room and creates a relaxing environment.<br />
Paint<br />
This is the simplest, most affordable and easiest way to decorate your accent wall. You<br />
can paint the whole accent wall with one bold paint colour or play around with paint by<br />
using stripes, patterns, circles.<br />
Wallpapers<br />
Wallpapers are an amazing way to make your walls create the WOW factor. They<br />
work best in a room where the other walls are of brighter and saturated colours, or<br />
where the majority of the décor in the room is made up of solid colours.<br />
Wood<br />
Wood paneling can add a natural and warm element to your room.<br />
It can be used as a headboard in your bedroom.<br />
Photos<br />
Put all your favourite photos on the accent wall. A bedroom is a very personal<br />
space and your collection of photos also adds a very personal touch to the<br />
bedroom and is a very good way of seeing your most cherished memories every<br />
day and lighten up your mood.<br />
Tiles<br />
Tiles are a very interesting way to decorate the accent wall. E.g. marble, mosaics,<br />
and other materials give your walls that extra punch to make your bedroom<br />
awesome.<br />
6<br />
/ October 25, 2020
Finding<br />
<strong>allure</strong> after<br />
Mastectomy<br />
By - Josephine Agbonkhese<br />
Angelina Jolie opted for double<br />
mastectomy in 2013 to stay alive<br />
There’s just something mysterious about<br />
the woman’s breasts. These two stylised<br />
protrusions on the woman’s chest have<br />
always been seen especially by the<br />
opposite sex, as unusual and fascinating.<br />
As a result, from childhood, the male child is<br />
remarkably more obsessed with the mother’s<br />
breasts than the female, seeing them as a source<br />
of food and comfort. As the child progresses into<br />
adulthood, this obsession is transferred to those of<br />
his lover.<br />
“The breasts were the first things I was ever<br />
introduced to as a child. Remember, even the<br />
Bible says the child will always go the way he was<br />
trained. So, we’ve been so wired from birth. That’s<br />
why you see babies swing their legs in excitement<br />
while sucking from their mother’s breasts. As a<br />
father, I get really jealous seeing this because I<br />
feel they are mine,” Johnson Ariyo, a 35-year-old<br />
Computer Engineer, said to Vanguard Allure of the<br />
attraction to a woman’s breasts.<br />
“Read your Bible very well and you will find that<br />
one of the things which made Adam eat from Eve<br />
even when he knew that was the forbidden fruit,<br />
were her breasts. The fall of great men have often<br />
been because of the woman’s breasts” says Elias<br />
Ebohon, a Lagos residence.<br />
But the breasts, which clearly defines a<br />
woman’s femininity, can also be extremely lethal<br />
- no thanks to breast cancer. In extreme cases, a<br />
woman may require a mastectomy in other to stay<br />
alive.<br />
A mastectomy, which can be done as part of<br />
treatment for breast cancer or, in some cases, to<br />
help prevent breast cancer in women who have a<br />
high risk for it, refers to the surgical removal of one<br />
or both breasts.<br />
As frightening as this might sound, frankly,<br />
one only just has to be a woman to be at risk of<br />
breast cancer, and thousands of women globally<br />
are opting for mastectomy in order to stay alive.<br />
Hollywood actress, Angelina Jolie, in 2013 for<br />
example, had to undergo double mastectomy to<br />
reduce her chances of getting breast cancer after<br />
her doctor estimated she had an 87% risk of the<br />
disease.<br />
But how does life feel post-mastectomy since<br />
the breasts also serve the aesthetic value of<br />
adding glamour to the woman’s silhouette?<br />
Some survivors bare their minds.<br />
“I am comfortable in my own skin” says Anne<br />
Peter (not real names), a 41-year-old breast<br />
cancer survivor who had a double mastectomy<br />
in 2017. “I do not feel one inch less of a woman.<br />
Mastectomy doesn’t make us less beautiful or<br />
feminine. In fact, society needs to teach women to<br />
accept ourselves more as humans than as sexy<br />
women.”<br />
For Adeosun Bosede Adeyombo, a 58-year-old<br />
survivor who went through a single mastectomy as<br />
part of her breast cancer treatment, all she feels<br />
post-mastectomy is peace and happiness.<br />
“It doesn’t change anything. In fact, it is only<br />
when I’m in the room that I remember I have only<br />
one breast. When I’m outside, I don’t remember<br />
at all and you will never know anything happened<br />
to me. It is all about faith; and survival also heavily<br />
involves money. It does not affect my self-esteem<br />
in any way. Thank God my husband too is very<br />
understanding.<br />
“In fact, removing the affected breast makes me<br />
always happy because the pain is gone. We have<br />
a support group that also teaches us how to feel<br />
good about ourselves without feeling awkward.<br />
Now, all I do is follow-up checks; I do not have to<br />
worry about cancer anymore. I also ensure I don’t<br />
eat junk foods. I make sure I cook my food myself;<br />
all my foods are natural now.”<br />
While survivors might feel indifferent about<br />
losing one or both breasts to stay alive, one<br />
wonders what the actual feeling of the man who<br />
finds the woman’s breasts fascinating, will be.<br />
Ugbeni Francis, a Lagos-based realtor, told<br />
Vanguard Allure his biggest attractions to his wife<br />
are her intelligence and industriousness rather<br />
than any body part.<br />
“Naturally, God has made us complete.<br />
Once such happens, as humans, it has a way of<br />
reducing some attraction. But as a Christian, I will<br />
accept it in good faith.<br />
“Instead of it triggering a divorce, it will<br />
strengthen me more to be with my partner. I will<br />
do all I can to show her more empathy; it shouldn’t<br />
reduce my love in any way. Otherwise, such a<br />
survivor could suffer depression.<br />
“I must say, however, that my first points of<br />
attraction to my wife are her intelligence and<br />
industriousness.<br />
“She is intelligent and hardworking. Facially,<br />
she is also very beautiful. For me, her intelligence<br />
is the asset I have. So, the breasts do not matter,”<br />
Ugbeni explained.<br />
Ebohon Stanley, a 29-year-old bachelor thinks<br />
differently.<br />
“Why would I stick to a woman who has lost<br />
her breasts? What then I’m I marrying? What<br />
will even take me to her in the first place? I won’t<br />
have anything to play with! No feeding bottle will<br />
be like the breasts. I’m sorry to say this but if we<br />
were married before the ailment, I will have to seek<br />
pleasure outside. Though it may not affect my<br />
marriage, I do not think I will find it easy even if she<br />
goes for reconstruction.”<br />
Bayo Adesina, a 33-year-old about to walk<br />
down the aisle, said that no deformity would make<br />
him turn his back on the woman in his life.<br />
“The breasts should not be an issue because<br />
love and companionship are most important.<br />
Personally, I do not think I should abandon anyone<br />
simply because of any deformity because I do<br />
not know what the next minute would result to<br />
for me. A cousin of mine always mocked a lady<br />
with crippled legs in his neighbourhood. Then,<br />
suddenly, he was involved in an auto-crash with<br />
his friend and he lost an eye. So, mastectomy<br />
should not affect any relationship. Besides,<br />
marriage is supposed to be for better for worse.”<br />
Mastectomy is real; just as breast cancer is<br />
real—and more and more women are choosing to<br />
stay alive by opting for the removal of their breasts<br />
to cut down their risks of breast cancer. While<br />
some consider a breast reconstruction procedure<br />
after a mastectomy, others opt for using a breast<br />
form or prosthesis (inside the bra or attached to<br />
the body to wear under their clothes), or even the<br />
option of going flat (not wearing a breast form).<br />
Whichever option a survivor chooses to<br />
embrace, as the global community spreads<br />
awareness on breast cancer this October, it is only<br />
humane that society understands the importance<br />
of helping survivors embrace their new bodies.<br />
At present, due to fear of stigmatisation<br />
caused by ignorance on the part of members of<br />
the public, most breast cancer survivors dread<br />
being identified as one; especially those who had<br />
to undergo a mastectomy. There is therefore, a<br />
need for more awareness on this reality which is<br />
currently the new normal for millions of women<br />
worldwide, who would rather die with this secret<br />
than open up.<br />
October 25, 2020 / 7
INSTAGRAM<br />
MOMENTS<br />
With Yemisi Suleiman<br />
This week on Instagram Moments shows some iconic images and events<br />
from the unrest at #ENDSARS protest.<br />
They took all my years of<br />
struggle...... Uche Elendu<br />
The #EndSARS protest took another dimension last<br />
week as hoodlums under the guise of protesters,<br />
took to streets in Lagos destroying government and<br />
private properties including; small scale businesses.<br />
One of the Bussiness owners affected by this<br />
mayhem, was Nollywood actress Uche Elendu, who not<br />
long ago opened a lifestyle store in Lagos. The actress<br />
who was obviously depressed by this, said while she was<br />
still struggling to recover from the shock of innocent lives<br />
taken at the Lekki shootings, her work and investment is<br />
gone, looted by the very people they are fighting for.<br />
She wrote “ They took all my years of struggle and hardwork<br />
from me.. everything (with the heartbroken emoji) .. I thank<br />
God for life. Posterity will judge all of you. E shock me ooooo.”<br />
#EndSars<br />
protesters at<br />
Lekki<br />
This photo shows a huge<br />
gathering of Nigerian youths at<br />
the Lekki Toll Gate, just before<br />
armed soldiers fired live rounds<br />
at unarmed protesters at a<br />
peaceful roadblock. The people<br />
were protesting police brutality<br />
and extra-judicial killings.<br />
Burnaboy leads protest in<br />
London<br />
Award-winning music star, Burnaboy was spotted<br />
live in London, lending his voice to the #EndSARS<br />
movement with other protesters in London.<br />
Selfless DJSwitich<br />
Female disc jokey, DJSwitch was the star of the moment<br />
last week, as she along with a few others, played a<br />
key role in saving lives at the Lekki #EndSARS protest<br />
grounds after the military opened fire on unarmed<br />
protesters. Switch’s selfless courage was hailed by<br />
everyone on social media and she was named heroine of<br />
the struggle.<br />
Beyonce shows support for<br />
#EndSARS Movement<br />
After two weeks of the #EndSARS protest by Nigerian<br />
youths, world music icon, Beyonce, finally came out<br />
to lend her voice to the #EndSARS campaign.<br />
In a post shared on her Instagram page, the<br />
award-winning singer said she is heartbroken<br />
to see the senseless brutality taking place<br />
in Nigeria, and has been working with youth<br />
organisations to support those protesting for<br />
change.<br />
The post read, “I am heartbroken to see the<br />
senseless brutality taking place in Nigeria. There<br />
has to be an end to SARS. To our Nigerian sisters<br />
and brothers, we stand with you.”