Jeffrey Wages - International Order of the Golden Rule

InsIde
Conference & Supplier
Showcase wrap-up
Conversation with
Jamie Meredith at C&J
Afterword
Outdoor Cremation:
a ritual
spring 2011 | www.ogr.org
official publication to the international order of the golden rule
Jeffrey Wages
with wife, Susan
Order of the Golden Rule
President 2011-2012
PAGe 12
Cremation
A Practice in need of ritual
Litigation: Will it ever stop?
2011 Fall Forum
September 18-20
in Scenic San Diego

2 The Independent | spring 2011

Cremation
8 A Practice in Need of Ritual
Thomas Lynch, funeral director and author, makes a case for
developing a cremation ritual
14 Litigation: Will It Ever Stop?
Mike Nicodemus, CANA President-Elect, explores ways to
minimize litigation threat
17 Introducing Jeff Wages
Following a start at 13, Jeff is now OGR’s President
18 OGR Annual Conference
& Supplier Showcase
Friends, family, focus and fun in Atlanta–New leadership,
winners, photos and more
Calendar
June 23 | Audio Seminar: Getting Started on Facebook
August 25 | Audio Seminar: Telephone Etiquette
September 18-20 | Fall Forum: San Diego, Calif.
inside
member news
From the Immediate
Past President ................................6

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advertiser’s index
deaton-Kennedy Company ............................................... 2
(800) 435-4068 www.deatonkennedy.com
C&J Financial | Fast Funding Program ..............................5
(888) 785-0003 snlfastfunding.com Jamie meredith
the red Book | national directory of morticians ....... 12, 29
(440) 247-3561 redbook@funeral-dir.com
Pierce Companies | Build a Book....................................... 23
(214) 333-4230 www.pearcechemical.com
access Financial Group | Golden rule 401K Plan ...... 27, 29
(800) 487-8220 aaa.afinancial.com
Ferno mortuary ..................................................................28
(800) 733-3766 www.fernomortuary.com
american macular degeneration .....................................29
(888) 622-8527
aurora | the aurora advantage ........................................30
(800) 457-1111 auroraadvantage.com
eagle Coach Co. | mike mckiernan .................................... 32
(800) 537-2963 www.eaglecoachcompany.com
4 The Independent | spring 2011
official publication to the international order of the golden rule
Board oF dIreCtors
President Jeffrey s. Wages, CFsP
President-Elect michael s. lewis
Secretary-Treasurer Catherine a. (Cathie) tattrie
Immediate Past President Kevin opsahl
Chris miller
Charles rader
William Brock, Jr., CFsP
F. edward Pearce
Executive Director dianne Hughes, Cae
Editorial Bill roof
Graphics Carrie Fortner
Staff maureen Hayes
Connie Haymes
lisa Krabbenhoft
Gael murdoch
Pam Hutchinson
sarah rosenburg
debbie smith
The Independent | spring 2011 | VOLUME 14 | nUMBEr 2
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spring 2011 | The Independent 5

From the Immediate Past President
Wishing President Jeffrey Wages and
OGR the best in the year ahead
dear oGr members:
As I write this letter to you and look back on my year as your
President, I can’t help but refl ect on all the progress that
has been made, not only this year, but during the last three.
It has been my privilege to work for you and for OGR over
the past year. As I step aside, I ask you to join me in wishing
Jeffrey Wages the best as he begins his year as President of
this association. I look forward to offering him my support
as Immediate Past President.
Because we have been so busy, the time has gone by
quickly. It is hard for me to believe my experience on the
OGR Board of Directors will soon be over. I want to take
a moment to thank all of the staff at the home offi ce,
our executive director, Dianne Hughes, my fellow board
members, and committees and their respective chairs. The
successes that are accomplished every day in serving our
members are the result of much work!
Recently, Jeff and I attended the NFDA Advocacy Summit
in Washington, DC, where we lobbied on a number of issues
impacting funeral service today. The three issues of greatest
concern included
1. Making permanent the current federal estate tax law.
This would help preserve small businesses by not
taxing the estate.
2. Repealing the new IRS Form 1099 provision in the
Patient Protection and Affordability Act. This provision
would have required all small business owners to
produce a 1099 for all business even including any
purchased products and services totaling more than
$6

From the President
A great time to continue moving
forward to greater successes
as we transition our oGr leadership this year, I am
eager to turn up the heat as we continue moving forward.
I want to thank Kevin for his year of service, and I
look forward to having him serve with me on the Board of
Directors as Immediate Past President this year.
I consider it an honor that you have entrusted me with
the offi ce of President of the International Order of the
Golden Rule, a truly outstanding professional association. I
know that taking on this role is a huge commitment as well
as a great challenge, and I promise that you will have my
total dedication and attention during my year of service.
This year we will work together to consider how best
to move forward, how best to turn OGR into an ever more
successful organization.
My presidency will be driven by a whole-hearted
commitment to increasing our membership, but more
importantly, growing this family. While all of us realize the
value and importance of OGR, we need to become better
neighbors by enlisting others into membership, thereby
challenging more independents to higher levels of business
ethics and human compassion -- in short, to exercise the
Golden Rule.
As I write these words, I know we face many
exciting challenges in the year ahead. To bring in great
new members, each of us needs to spread the word in
telling other independents OGR is the best. We are the
most successful; we are focused on our goal of making
independent funeral homes exceptional; and we have
more fun.
Leadership is challenging because the leader of an
organization can’t possibly represent all members. Instead a
leader asks the tough questions, listens carefully to answers
and considers various options.
How will we make this organization stronger? How
can members get the full benefi t from OGR? How do we
broadcast our message to strengthen membership?
The answers to these and other questions must come
from all of you, our members. My job as your President, is to
identify the best thinking, assemble the best
member support and motivate all of us to action as
we MOVE FORWARD.
As ambassadors to your
community and our profession,
we must take ownership in
this association. We have
an opportunity to grow this
organization and bring more benefi t to its members. This
is our opportunity to move OGR forward, to stay in the
forefront of our profession and to grow our organization.
We have assembled a Membership Committee that not
only cares about OGR, but also is committed to developing
ways to enhance and increase our membership. Chris
Janowiak as Chair and J.D. Slack as Co-Chair, along with a
team of passionate OGR members will lead this charge.
We have retained the services of Jeff Hahn. principal of the
communications fi rm, Hahn, Texas, to work with the Board
of Directors to bring a new face to OGR -- to help us state
our mission in a modern and up-to-date way. Hahn, Texas
will help us with a multitude of issues as we bring OGR to
the forefront of our industry.
This association has become a very special part of my
life, and I feel as though over the years, we have grown into
a family of our own. The International Order of the Golden
Rule motto, “Do Onto Others,” is the highpoint of our family
of independent funeral service providers.
It is a part of our heritage that we have kept alive and
relied upon. As I step into the role of President, these words
of our motto ring loudly, and I wonder how I can stay true to
them and better this organization. With reliance upon our
Lord, who fi rst spoke those words, the answer lies in all of us.
I believe in the future of OGR. I believe in the heritage
that we are proud of and that members before us have been
so proud of for 83 years.
I believe in the values and responsibility of being a
family-owned and operated funeral home. I thank each of
you for your friendship. I look forward to your support, and I
look forward to working tirelessly with each of you this year.
Jeff Wages
spring 2011 | The Independent 7

Cremation:
A PRACtICE IN NEEd Of RItuAL
by tHomas lynCH
“When I’m gone, just cremate me,”
Hughey MacSwiggan told his third
and final wife as she stood at his
bedside while the hospice nurse
fiddled with the morphine drip
that hadn’t kept his pain at bay. The
operative word in his directive was
“just.” He wasn’t especially fond of fire.
He hadn’t picked out a favorite urn.
He saw burning not so much as an
alternative to burial as an alternative
to bother.
He hadn’t the strength to force
the moment to its crisis. He just
wanted it all to be over—the cancer,
the second guessing, the wondering
whether he’d done irreparable harm,
what with the years of drinking, the
divorces, all of that carrying-on.
It’s not that he lacked faith. On
the contrary, after long years of
sobriety in the fellowship of AA, he
had sought through prayer and
meditation to improve his conscious
contact with God as he understood
Him, praying only for knowledge of His
will for him and the power to
8 The Independent | spring 2011
carry that out. He was, in extremis.
He just wanted whatever was going
to happen to happen.
Loosened from his own ethnic
and religious traditions, which were
lost in the shuffle of postmodernity,
he hadn’t any particular sense of “the
done thing” when it came to funerals.
He just didn’t want to be a burden to
anyone, least of all the ones he loved.
So when pressed by his family for
some direction, “just cremate me” is
what he told them all. And so they did.
They dispensed with the
presbyters and processions, with
casket, graveside and monument.
“Never mind the marines,” they said,
when I told them that his service
during World War II entitled him to
military honors. “Daddy wouldn’t want
any of that.” Neither flag nor flowers,
hymns or limousines, obits or an open
bar. His son-in-law put the charges
on a credit card which earned him
frequent flier miles.
Because our funeral home’s
protocols require us to see the dead all
the way into the fire, just as we see the
dead who are buried, all the way into
the ground, the crematory operator
lets us jump the line.
When I invited—as is also our
policy—any and all of his family to
come with us to the crematory, or to
designate one among them to come
along, “just to see that everything is
done properly,” they winced and shook
their heads as if I’d invited them to a
root canal or public stoning, to wit:
a necessary but noxious procedure,
the least said about which the better,
thank you.
“In a funeral we are carrying
the body of a saint to the place of
farewell,” writes Thomas G. Long in his
study of American funeral practice,
Accompany Them with Singing: The
Christian Funeral (Westminster John
Knox). In short, we are carrying a loved
one to the edge of mystery, and people
should be encouraged to stick around
to the end, to book passage all the way.
If the body is to be buried, go to the
grave and stay there until the body

is in the ground.
If the body is to be
burned, go to the
crematorium and witness
the burning.
Ask any gathering of your fellow
Americans—students at university,
clergy or hospice workers, medical or
mortuary sorts—how many have
ever been to a graveside or watched
a burial, and 95 out of every 100 raise
a hand.
Next, ask how many have been
to a retort or crematory or witnessed
a cremation and roughly the reverse
is true: less than 5 percent have been
there, done that.
Forty or 50 years ago, when the
cremation rate in the U.S. was still in
the low single digits, this would have
made perfect sense. But today, when
the national rate is approaching 40
percent and is predicted to be over
50 percent halfway into the coming
decade, it represents a kind
of disconnect.
How is it that so many people
claim a preference for cremation
but so few have any interest in
knowing more about it? As a people
we have thoroughly embraced the
notion of cremation as an exercise in
simplicity and cost efficiency. But we
remain thoroughly distanced from
the fire itself and all its metaphors
and meaning, its religious and
ritual significance as a station in our
pilgrimage of faith.
For Christians, in particular—who,
along with secular humanists, account
for most of the nation’s increase in
cremations—this disconnect is even
more telling.
In Accompany Them with Singing
the holy fire
Long documents a troublesome shift
in religious practice. In the place of
funerals what has evolved, especially
among white suburban Protestants,
is a downsized, “personalized,”
user-friendly, Hallmarky soiree: the
customized, emotively neutral and
religiously ambiguous memorial
service to which everyone is invited
but the one who has died.
The dead have been made more
or less to disappear, cremated as a
matter of pure function and notably
outside the context of faith. If not
made to disappear entirely, the
presence of the dead at such services
is minimized, inurned, denatured,
virtualized, made manageable and
unrecognizable by cremation.
Even when the cremation follows
a wake or visitation and a public
service in the church or elsewhere,
we rarely process to the crematory,
not least because the retort is often
housed in an industrial park, not a
memorial park. This disinclination
to deal with the dead we burn has
something to do with our conflicted
notions about fire, which Western
sensibilities and Western religious
traditions still often associate with
punishment and wastefulness.
“If there is a problem with
cremation in regard to a funeral,”
says Long, “it is that the cremated
remains are required to stand in for
the whole body of the deceased, which
at its worst could be like asking Ralph
Fiennes’s hat to play Hamlet.
“This minimization of what Long
calls a “worshipful drama” suggests
more than a shift in religious fashion.
The memorial service, by avoiding
the embodied dead, the shovel and
shoulder work, the divisions of labor
and difficult journey to the grave or
pyre, too often replaces theology with
therapy, conviction with convenience,
the full-throated assurances of faith
with a sort of memorial karaoke where
“everyone gets to share a memory.”
“The fact is,” writes Long, “that
many educated Christians in the late
nineteenth century, the forebears of
today’s white Protestants, lost their
eschatological nerve and their vibrant
faith in the afterlife, and we are their
theological and liturgical heirs.” Long
How is it that so many people claim a
preference for cremation, but so few have
any interest in knowing more about it?
is citing not a change of fashions but a
lapse of faith in the promise of eternal
life: a core principle of Christianity.
the crisis presented by a death
in the family has not changed since
the first human mourners looked
into the pit or cave or flames they’d
just consigned their dead to and
posed the signature questions of our
species: Is that all there is? Why did it
happen? Will it happen to me? Are we
spring 2011 | The Independent 9

alone? What comes next? The corpse,
the grave, the tomb and fire became
fixtures in the life of faith’s most
teachable moment. We learned to deal
with death by dealing with our dead;
to process mortality by processing
mortals from one station to the next
in the journey of grief.
Abject grief, spiritual despair,
anger at God and serious doubt are
common responses to suffering and
loss. And while doubt is unexceptional
in the life of faith, and most certainly
attends a death in the family, the
role of pastor, priest, minister and
congregation, indeed the raison
d’être of the Christian community, is
to uphold and embolden believers,
shaken in their bereavement, with the
promise of the gospel.
This is how the faithful bear
both death in the abstract and the
dead in the flesh. It is by bearing our
dead from one station to the other—
deathbed to parlor, parlor to altar,
altar to the edge of eternal life—
that we learn to bear death
itself. By going the
distance with them
we learn to walk
upright in the
10 The Independent | spring 2011
The problem is not that we cremate
our dead, but how ritually denatured,
spiritually vacant, religiously timid we
have allowed the practice to become.
faith that God will take care of God’s
own, living and dead.
To the extent that cremation
has become an accomplice in the
out-of-sight and out-of-mind nature
of memorial services, it is at crosspurposes
with the life of faith and the
mission of the church.
Of course, the problem is not
with cremation, which is an ancient
and honorable, efficient and effective
means of disposing of our dead.
Nor is the fire to burn our dead any
less an elemental gift of God than
is the ground to bury them in. The
problem is not that we cremate our
dead, but how ritually denatured,
spiritually vacant, religiously timid
and impoverished we have allowed
the practice to become. It is not that
we do it, but how we do it that must
be reconsidered.
The past 30 years has seen a
steadily growing acceptance of
cremation. Across the nation, more
than a third of all deaths are now
followed by cremation. Among
Protestant Christians the numbers are
even higher, if we consider that Jews,
Muslims and Orthodox Christians
almost never cremate their dead and
Catholics still bury the large majority
of theirs.
The reasons for this change are
manifold. For our ancestors in the
19th and early 20th centuries, the
land remained foundational. Borders,
boundaries, beliefs were all fixed and
settled. But modern American culture
seems in constant transit and flux. We
are more mobile, more modular, less
grounded than our grandparents. Our
ethnic, religious and family ties do
not bind so tightly as in former times.
Careers are a series of five-year plans.
Communities have become virtual
entities—social networks—as home
pages replace home places as a key to
identity. Marriages and families have
been “blended” and reconfigured.
Cremation seems to suit many of
us better—making us more portable,
divisible and easier to scatter. But
while technology has made the
process highly efficient, the culture
remains ritually adrift when it comes
to fire, consigning it most often to
private, industrial venues rather than
public, ceremonial ones.
In cultures where cremation is
practiced in public, among Hindus
and Buddhists in India and Japan, its
powerful metaphoric values add to
the religious narratives the bereaved
embrace. Elsewhere, however,
cremation is practiced in private,
the fire kept purposefully behind
closed doors. Whereas the traditional
funeral transports the corpse and
mourners from parlor to altar, then
to place of disposition, cremation, as
it is practiced in the U.S., often routes
around, not through, such stations
in the pilgrimage. We miss most

if not all of the journey, the drama
and metaphor.
Of course, some of this has to
do with consumer dissatisfaction
with a mortuary marketplace more
interested in sales than in service,
more inclined toward the stuff than
the substance and toward Hallmark
sentiments rather than real meaning.
Still, a death in the family is not a
retail event, rather a deeply human
one. It involves essential duties, not
accessories; fundamental rather than
fashion concerns; core values rather
than commodities.
For persons of faith the essential
elements of a good funeral remain
few and familiar: the dead pilgrim,
the living to whom the death matters,
and someone to broker the mystery
between them—priest or pastor, rabbi
or imam, venerable master or fellow
pilgrim—and enunciate the new
status of the soul. Last but not least
among the essentials is the task at
hand: to get the dead and the living
where they need to be. For the former
that means the tomb or fire or grave
or sea. For the latter it means to the
edge of the life they will be living
without the deceased, whose blessed
body is consigned to the elements and
whose soul is commended to God.
So much of what I know of
final things I have learned from
the reverend clergy. Their faith is
contagious and emboldening. Their
presence is balm and anointing. In
the end Hughey MacSwiggan was
scattered in Scotland. “He never made
the trip but always wanted to go” is
what his family told me. They knew my
writerly duties often took me to the
British Isles. “Take him with you the
next time you go,” his third wife said.
And so I did. I’d been invited to launch
a book at the Edinburgh Festival.
When the x-ray at the airport
showed “some dense packaging” in my
carry-on, I told the security guard it
was Hughey MacSwiggan’s cremated
remains and asked if she’d like to
inspect them further. She shook her
head and let me pass. I did not declare
Hughey at customs in Heathrow and
kept my own counsel on the train
ride north and checking in at the
Channings Hotel. I considered the
gardens off Princess Street or maybe
some corner of the castle grounds,
but the mid-August crowds made
those sites impossible. I toyed with
the notion of leaving him in a public
house near Waverley Station on the
theory that heaven for Hughey might
mean that he could drink again.
But it was the view from Dean
Bridge, the deep valley, the “dene” that
names the place, the river working
its way below under the generous
overhang of trees—the valley of
the shadow of death, I thought—
that beckoned me further in my
search. I worked my way down into
Belgrave Crescent where I found an
open, unlocked gate to the private
gardens there. But it was a little too
perfect, a little too rose-gardenish
and manicured, and I was drawn by
the sound of falling water. So I went
out and around past the Dean Parish
Church and the graveyard there.
I made my way down to the water
by the footpath, and working back in
the direction of the bridge I found a
wee waterfall, apparently
the site of an old mill.
Kneeling to my duties, I poured
Hughey’s ashes out—some into
the curling top waters and the
rest into the circling pool below. I
remember the quick pearlescent
cloud, the puff of white it made in the
rush of current, almost like you’d see
when salmon spawn.
And watching what remained
of him disappear downstream, what
I thought of was the thing they said
whenever the masked man rode off at
the end of the cowboy show I watched
as a boy: “A fiery horse with the speed
of light, a cloud of dust, and a hearty
‘Hi-yo, Silver!’ . . . The Lone Ranger!”
There goes Hughey now, I
thought—hi-yo, Silver, away. The
little bone fragments, bits and pieces
of him, glistened in the gravel bed of
the Waters of Leith while his cloud
of dust quickly worked its way in the
current downstream to the eventual
river mouth and out, I supposed,
into the Firth of Forth and the North
Sea and the diasporic waters of
the world.
One with all of the elements
now—the earth, wind and fire, the
water and air—Hughey was like the
Holy Spirit of God: everywhere or
nowhere, in everything that lives or
in nothing at all, endlessly with us
or always alone; blessed and blissful,
nonetheless I prayed, at his first
glimpse of whatever is or isn’t. ◊
Thomas Lynch is a writer and funeral
director. His most recent book,
Apparition and Late Fictions: A Novella
and Stories, has just been published by
W. W. Norton. Article adapted from:
The Christian Century Magazine
spring 2011 | The Independent 11

Milestone Anniversaries
65 years | February 1946
Copeland ltd. Funeral service
Coraopolis, Pa..
65 years | march 1946
langeland Family Funeral Homes,
memorial Chapel
Kalamazoo, Mich.
55 years | February 1956
Williams-thomas Funeral Homes
Gainesville, Fla.
50 years | January 1961
Barkdull Funeral Home
Shelby, Ohio
50 years | January 1961
mcdougald Funeral Home
Anderson, S.C.
50 years | February 1961
schmidt Funeral Home
West Bend, Wis.
50 years | February 1961
Byles-macdougall Funeral service, Inc.
New London, Conn.
50 years | march 1961
Pugh Funeral Home, Inc.
Asheboro, N.C.
50 years | march 1961
meyer Brothers Colonial Chapel
Sioux City, Iowa.
50 years | march 1961
Zwick & Jahn Funeral Home
Decatur, Ind.
12 The Independent | spring 2011
50 years | march 1961
rader Funeral Home
Kilgore, Texas
50 years | march 1961
leroy rader Funeral Home, Inc.
Longview, Texas
45 years | april 1966
Pray Funeral Home, Inc.
Charlotte, Mich.
40 years | January 1971
Jordan Funeral Home
Koskiusko, Miss.
35 years | march 1976
Buck-Wheeler-Hyland Funeral Home
Belvidere, Ill.
35 years | march 1976
schuyler Hill Funeral Home
Bronx, N.Y.
30 years | march 1981
northcutt & son Home for Funerals
Morehead, Ky.
30 years | april 1981
sweeney dodds, Inc. Funeral Home
Carrollton, Ohio
25 years | January 1986
lesotho Funeral services (Pty) ltd.
Maseru, Lesotho
25 years | march 1986
Kolssak Funeral Home, ltd.
Wheeling, Ill.
member news
20 years | april 1991
Curlew Hills Funeral Home
Palm harbor, Fla.
15 years | February 1996
ligon & Bobo Funeral Home, Inc.
Lebanon, Tenn.
10 years | February 2001
morton’s mortuary, Inc.
Bridgeport, Conn.
10 years | February 1961
ruegg Funeral Homes, Inc.
Piedmont, Mo.
10 years | march 2001
Breeland Funeral Home
Canton, Miss.
10 years | april 2001
Campagna Funeral Home, ltd.
Nashville, Ill.
5 years | February 2006
schmucker Funeral service, Inc.
New Ulm, Minn.
5 years| april 2006
Hahn-Groeber Funeral Homes
Lafayette, Ind.

OGR welcomes its
newest members
Hillside memorial Chapel | S. Brent Tolbert
Clarkesville, Georgia
eggers Funeral Home and Crematory, Inc. | Betty Eggers
Chesnee, South Carolina
Carroway Funeral Home | Roy Carroway, Jr.
Lufkin, Texas
ACE names Glenn Lyle
managing partner, VP-sales
Glenn lyle has joined American Crematory Equipment Company as a
managing partner and vice president of sales.
Prior to joining ACE, Lyle held management positions with American
Express, Proctor & Gamble and VSI, among others. He has been involved
in sales, marketing, and the expansion of one of the world leaders in the
cremation and funeral industry.
Aurora Casket receives top
community service honors
aurora Casket Company, the largest family-owned funeral supplier in the
U.S., received the 2011 Smart Business and Medical Mutual of Ohio Pillar Award
for Community Service. The Pillar awards honor for-profit organizations that
have a strong commitment to corporate philanthropy and community service.
“Aurora is honored to be recognized for its community relations efforts,”
said president Bill Backman III. “Our charitable programs and their success is a
tribute to our dedicated employees and funeral directors nationwide who go
above and beyond for their clients. Any positive impact that we can make is a
tremendous success.”
Aurora Casket was recognized for its Sentiments and Honoring the Veteran
programs which provide families a venue to memorialize their loved ones and
donate to a cause close to them. Families can choose to make a donation in
the name of the deceased to the American Breast Cancer Foundation’s “Key to
Life” program or the American Red Cross, Vietnam Veterans of America or the
World War II Memorial Foundation.
In addition to Aurora’s external relations, the company offers a
scholarship program for employees’ children who meet specified GPA
requirements and attend an accredited two- or four-year college. Aurora, a
longtime supplier for OGR members, is now an OGR Golden Services Group
Endorsed Supplier.
industry news
new consumer survey
Conducted by Funeralwise.com,
a new survey shows that almost
half of those surveyed would like
a “celebration of life” ceremony
versus only 11 percent who replied
they would prefer a traditional
funeral. The survey included 1,6

NO
Cremation litigation:
Will it ever stop?
by mIKe nICodemus
As the national cremation average intentional.” Certainly, they can be for a minimal amount, but I would be
in the U, S, pushes 40 percent and damaging enough, but will the
willing to bet their legal fees ran into
continues to climb, it’s no secret injured family be able to collect for the five-, if not the six-figure range.
that many funeral directors are
intangible losses (pain and suffering)? And what about the funeral homes
concerned about the challenge of Probably not.
involved? Most often they will take it
declining revenues. More and more
With cremation litigation on on the chin a lot harder than
they have begun exploring sometimes the other hand, potential damages the crematory.
innovative ways of shifting traditional could be disastrous. What could
Consider the abhorrent actions
focus to strengthen growth potential possibly happen that would cause of the Tri-State Crematory in Noble,
including offering cremation options. such a disaster? The answer, of course: Georgia, in 2002. Some 1,700 members
With these shifts must come Cremating the wrong body.
of the families of identified corpses
a new realization, especially when
I can site at least three instances that had not been cremated, sued
cremation is involved. What could over just the last year where a
Tri-State and the funeral homes
happen to those dipping revenues if crematory has cremated the wrong that had shipped the bodies to
these concerned funeral directors are decedent. I have also been involved Tri-State. Years of litigation have
named in a cremation lawsuit?
in cases where the crematory did ensued and two lawsuits resulted
With traditional funeral home nothing wrong in cremating a
in class-action status.
liability, acts of negligence, e.g., bad decedent delivered by a funeral home Funeral directors are now held
embalming, cosmetics, or a decedent provider; nevertheless. both crematory accountable for the actions or
placed in the wrong grave, are usually and funeral home were still sued for “inactions” of their third-party
correctable and non-compensable. various transgressions.
crematories if they have not practiced
These acts are commonly found “not Crematories may end up settling due diligence. Even if you, the funeral
home, have done nothing wrong and
your third-party provider is at fault,
mike nicodemus is a licensed funeral
director and vice president of cremation
operations at Hollomon-Brown Funeral Homes.
He is president elect of CANA and serves as
chair of their Crematory Operators’ Certification
Program. He is the author of the Cremation
Operators’ manual. He has been retained as an
expert witness in numerous funeral home and
crematory litigation issues.
trust me, you will be sued. Usually the
funeral home is the client with the
deepest pockets and that’s where the
plaintiff will head.
How can you protect yourself
from this happening? To ensure due
diligence, establish your “Chain of
Custody.” At Hollomon-Brown Funeral
Home, where we now have a 50
percent cremation rate versus 20
14 The Independent | spring 2011

percent just 10 years ago, we have
fi ve different checks and balance
systems in place for identifi cation
and custody, starting with the fi rst
call to the crematory.
First and foremost, be sure that
when making the removal from
the place of death, you have the
right decedent. Sounds elementary,
doesn’t it? Don’t just take the word of
someone at the place of death that the
decedent you are removing is, in fact,
the decedent you are removing. Don’t
ever assume anything when making
the removal. Check and double check
the identity BEFORE you take custody.
Take the decedent back to the funeral
home and NEVER directly to the
crematory. Be certain to keep excellent
and detailed records of all procedures
before, during and after the cremation
process.
In my company our Chain of
Custody begins with a person at
the place of death who must sign
a Witness of Transfer Form prior to
the decedent being removed. This
establishes that someone at the place
of death has identifi ed the decedent
and signs off that they have done so.
I believe there is no such thing
as too much documentation. Anyone
who has heard me speak, knows
that I harp ad nauseam about
documentation. You can never have
enough to support your actions. It
doesn’t matter how big or how small
an issue, document it. Those who have
proper documentation will be less
likely to make an attractive defendant.
Second, funeral homes that use a
third-party cremation provider, must
be sure to make two unannounced
inspections a year. The last thing you
want is to be dragged into a court
of law and have to tell a judge or
jury that you have never visited your
cremation provider. I can assure you
that does happen and that it does not
sit well.
Third, cover your policies and
procedures in monthly staff meetings.
Fourth, during the arrangement
conference, have your funeral directors
ask questions: ”Do you have any
questions on what I’ve explained? Is
there anything I can explain further?”
Having your cremation families
understand what is about to take
place regarding the cremation of
their loved one, is of paramount
importance.
The top three reasons for
cremation litigation are:
1. Misidentifi cation of the decedent
2. No signed authorization done by
someone other than the next-of-kin
3. Family disputes
In my home
state of Virginia,
identifi cation of the
decedent is now required
by law and requires the
authorizing agent or designated
representative to make a positive
identifi cation of the decedent prior
to the cremation process. I believe
whether it is law or not, every
funeral home should require
someone to identify the decedent
prior to cremation.
As I indicated earlier, the number
one reason for cremation litigation is
misidentifi cation of the decedent.
If there happens to be a family
dispute over cremation, do yourself
a big favor and excuse yourself from
the arrangement conference and
inform the family when they are
ready to proceed to let you know.
The funeral director is not an
arbitrator or mediator, and it’s
best to let the family work through
differences without you being in
the middle.
If any family you serve is
uncooperative during the
arrangement conference in providing
pertinent information or is unwilling
to sign your authorizations, the
best thing you can do is to tell them,
“I’m sorry, we won’t be able to move
spring 2011 | The Independent 15

forward with the arrangements until
you meet our requirements.”
As a funeral director, I know this
may be a tough thing to tell a family,
but in the long run, you’ll be glad
you did. Your reputation is not worth
bending the rules “just this once.”
Lawsuits are expensive, and it is
imperative for the sake of your good
name and reputation as well as your
bottom line to learn all you can about
how to avoid ending up in a court
of law.
Will cremation litigation
continue? You bet. What can you do
to make sure you don’t end up in
your local headlines? In a word: Train.
Completing a certification program
is a must for all staff--not just the
operator who serves families that
desire cremation. And with cremation
numbers showing no sign of slowing
down, you owe it to yourself and to
the families you serve to maintain
those values of custody, care and
dignity when taking care of their
loved ones.
Are there programs available to
help funeral homes and crematories
deal with issues they confront on a
daily basis?…Absolutely. The Cremation
Association of North America (CANA)
conducts operator-certification classes
throughout the country, not only on
legal issues, but on how your operator
can conduct business more efficiently
and help minimize, if not eliminate,
problems. These classes also provide
information on proper policies and
procedures to follow when it comes
to the cremation process. This type
of training program is critical for
operators, owners, and managers of
funeral homes and crematories. ◊
16 The Independent | spring 2011
industry news
Court sets hearing date for
Ohio alkaline hydrolysis lawsuit
despite 19 final dispositions using Aquamation, an alkaline
hydrolysis process, in barely three months following installation
plus having 100 percent support from families given the option of
choosing alkaline hydrolysis, Edwards Funeral Service has had to stop
the disposition alternative for client families pending the outcome of a
lawsuit.
The Columbus, Ohio, funeral home, the first in the U.S. to offer and
use alkaline hydrolysis as a burial and cremation alternative, has filed
a lawsuit alleging the Ohio Department of Health (ODH) does not have
authority to block it from using the procedure.
ODH regulators issued a memo March 17 to local registrars in Ohio
ordering them to not issue burial transit permits or accept for filing any
death certificates when alkaline hydrolysis appears on a death certificate.
The ODH memo was issued in response to a statement from the Ohio
Board of Embalmers and Funeral Directors that alkaline hydrolysis was
not an authorized form of disposition of a dead human body. Edwards
said the ODH never explicitly told him to stop using the process. But, he
said, “Because I cannot get a legal burial permit, it effectively means I
cannot use it.”
Edwards’s lawsuit, which seeks a temporary restraining order, was
denied by Common Pleas Judge Mark Serrott who said he merely was
refusing to order the ODH to allow Edwards to dispose of bodies through
alkaline hydrolysis. Serrott agreed to hold a full hearing on the funeral
home’s lawsuit on April 20.
The system put in place at Edwards in January, was developed and
is manufactured by Indiana-based Bio-Response Solutions. Owner Joe
Wilson, with more than 34 years in the industry, is widely recognized as a
leader in bio-safety technology and the bio-response industry.
Wilson has been developing and fine-tuning low-temperature, zero
pressure alkaline hydrolysis for nearly a decade. “We have worked to
perfect the process and have developed a number of innovations that
allow it to be equal or superior to high-temperature, high-pressure
systems,” he notes.
The installation of the Bio-Response Solutions system for Edwards
was a simple process. Limited floor space was required. Existing utilities
were sufficient. “Jeff’s machine was delivered, installed and running its
first disposition all in the same day,” said Wilson in a phone interview.
More at www.edwardsfuneralservice.com and
www.bioresponsesolutions.com.

Jeffery Wages installed
as OGR president
By the early age of 13, it was already
beginning to look like Jeffrey Wages
would be growing up in the family
business – today known as Wages and
Sons Funeral Homes and Crematories
in Lawrenceville and Stone Mountain,
Georgia.
He had started working at
his father’s side on holidays and
weekends, but admits at the same
time, he had a strong love and passion
for the law. “I wanted to go to law
school even then,” Wages confessed.
“Then in the ninth or tenth grade I
had one of those experiences that can
change a person’s direction,” he said.
“During a career day at my school,
I chose to go listen to an attorney,”
Wages explained. “Almost from the
moment that lawyer began to speak,
I was struck by what an unfriendly
person he was. He was tough and
rough, and I was convinced pretty
quickly that a career in law might not
be what I wanted.”
Wages continued working at the
funeral home learning the funeral
business from his father, the late Billy
K. Wages, Sr., an OGR Past President
(2003-2004). After he graduated from
Gupton- Jones College of Funeral
Service in Atlanta (1985), Jeffrey joined
Wages & Sons Funeral Home.
It soon became clear that not
only had Wages paid close attention
to his training, also he had the strong
sense of importance underpinning the
professional and community service
that characterizes the Wages family.
Having been sworn in at the 2011
OGR Annual Conference & Supplier
Showcase in Atlanta as president for
2011-2012, Jeffrey has followed his
father’s footsteps through OGR.
As a funeral director and
president of Wages and Sons, Jeff
has been instrumental in growing
the firm to include its two present
locations plus its expansion into the
cremation business with a start-up,
the Cremation Society of Georgia,
which provides only direct cremations.
Wages currently manages and
oversees all aspects of the operation.
OGR President Jeff Wages and family, from
the left, Kirsten; his wife, Susan; and Lauren.
“I am committed to carrying
on the tradition of dedication and
compassion to the families who have
depended on Wages & Sons for many
generations.” Jeffrey comments that,
“The funeral business has been a part
of my life since childhood. Tradition
is important in our family, as is
continuing my father’s legacy.”
The successes of Jeffery and the
Wages family through the years are
in part due to their close relationship
with OGR. “I attended my first OGR
convention when I was 21 and I look
forward to many more years of
meeting with my professional family, ”
said Wages.
“I knew at that first meeting that
I had made the right business choice
and that OGR would be a strong ally.
I was impressed with the level of
professionalism and support from
other members. As newcomers, we
were made to feel especially welcome
as part of the group and I could see
why OGR was considered the leading
association of independent funeral
homes.”
Wages was elected to the OGR
Board in 2006

friends, family, focus
and fun in Atlanta–
neW leadersHIP, WInners, PHotos and more
Golden light award
Robin Williams of the R. Lee Williams & Son Funeral Home and Crematory,
St. Petersburg, Florida, received the 2011 Golden Light Award, OGR’s most
prestigious honor marking an individual’s lifetime contribution to OGR,
the profession and society. The Golden Light Award salutes professional
excellence exemplifi ed by an individual member who has inspired others
through a clear commitment to superior service.
“It is our honor to congratulate Robin as this year’s winner of the
Golden Light Award. During a distinguished career, he continues to
demonstrate a commitment to professional excellence and superior
service,” said OGR President Jeff Wages. “The selfl ess example he sets time
and again, is what sets OGR apart as a community of exceptional funeral
homes.”
Robin is always ready to answer the call to serve his fellow funeral
directors. His fi rm has been a member of OGR for 40 years, and he served as
OGR president 28 years after his father served as OGR president. He served
two terms on the OGR Board of Directors, as well as having served on
many committees.
18 The Independent | spring 2011
In addition to his service to OGR,
he is a founding member and
past president of the Independent
Funeral Directors of Florida.
Robin has also made a lasting
mark in his community. He is a
past president of the Seminole
Chamber of Commerce as well
as past president of the Lake
Seminole Rotary Club, where he
was named Rotarian of the
Year in 1995.
Robin Williams, left, stands with President Jeff Wages after being presented with
the Golden Light Award by Wages at the Annual Banquet Saturday night.
Newly installed President-Elect Michael Lewis
and his wife, Kathie
Newly installed Secretary-Treasurer Cathie
Tattrie and her husband, John
Bill Brock, newly elected Board of Directors
member, and his wife, Linda
Ed Pearce newly elected Board of Directors
member, and his wife, Beverly

OGR Board of Directors from the left, front row, Bill Brock; Kevin Opsahl, Immediate Past President;
Cathie Tattrie, Secretary-Treasurer; back row, Charles Rader, Ed Pearce, Michael Lewis, President-Elect;
and Jeff Wages, President.
Martha and Roger
Beyers, join OGR Board
member Charles Rader
to examine items for
the silent auction to
raise money for the
scholarship fund.
A study in concentration
during a presentation at one
of the many CEU sessions.
Jacob Penwell, right, with
Tyler Pray, Education Committee Chair,
received the 2011 OGR Gold Award of
Excellence Scholarship for $3,500.
award of excellence
scholarships
The 2011 Gold Award of Excellence
for $3,500 was awarded to Jacob, M.
Penwell of Norwood, Ohio. He is a
student at the Cincinnati College of
Mortuary Science.
Jacob wrote that after
graduation, his goal is to have a
funeral business where people can
trust him with anything.
Receiving the Silver Award of
$2,000 was Tashya Ann Polites of
Elgin, Illinois, a student at Worsham
College of Mortuary Science.
Tashya wrote that after
graduation she looks forward to
building trusting relationships with
the families she is privileged to
serve.
“We are honored to recognize
Jacob as this year’s scholarship
winner. It is through the dedication
and hard work of students like
Jacob and Tashya that we help to
assure the success of tomorrow’s
independent funeral home leaders,”
said OGR executive director Dianne
Hughes. Winners were selected
based upon essay submission,
academic performance and
community involvement.
spring 2011 | The Independent 19

Golden rule Community service award
Martin Funeral Home, Mt. Morris, Michigan, won the 2011 Golden Rule
Community Service Award. Adam Martin, president and owner, accepted
the fi rm’s award.
“Martin Funeral Home has raised the bar to set an ever higher level of
service to both profession and community to earn this prestigious award,”
said Jeff Wages, OGR president. “Clearly the service demonstrates ‘Service
measured not by gold, but by the Golden Rule.’”
This year’s winner was selected for its participation in many
community events in all seasons, but most notably for taking a leadership
role in a broadly based community event at Christmastime. Three
community service groups announced in 2008 that they would be
stepping back from planning and operating the Vassar Yuletide and Tree of
Lights Remembrance Ceremony. Martin Funeral Home owner Adam Martin
decided to chair the event, which it has now done for the past three years.
Martin said the events not only draw many organizations and
individuals together during the Fall to plan and organize the communitywide
events for nearly everyone, but also encourage many residents to
come out and participate to experience some of the joys of living in
the community.
“Martin Funeral Home is
fortunate enough to have a
successful business, and it is
by giving back that we can
maintain our success and
reputation,” said Martin.
The Golden Rule Community
Service Award recognizes a
member fi rm for outstanding
service to the community
performed during the
calendar year.
Golden Rule Community Service Award winner, Martin Funeral Home, Mt. Morris,
Michigan. Shown with president and owner Adam Miles Martin, Jennifer R. Merritt-
Martin, Human Resources Manager; daughter, Emilie; and Kevin Opsahl, right.
20 The Independent | spring 2011
Fun is always a big part of
annual conference and the 2011
OGR Conference & Supplier
Showcase was no exception.
Barb Wieting shows the jewelry
donated by Aurora for the
auction. She won both the
bracelet and the ring.
Lisa Opsahl, left, and Lacy Rader, congratulate
winners during the Awards Luncheon.
Panelists John Wenig, Robin Williams and Mike
Butler concentrate on sometimes complex issues
as attendees explore the question “What makes
a Golden Rule Funeral Home Exceptional”?
Glenn Gould makes a point during the Funeral
Service Foundation Recruiting & Retention
Study session

exemplary service awards
Three North American independent funeral homes received Exemplary
Service Awards.
The Falconer Funeral Home, Inc., Gilbert, Arizona, received the Gold
Exemplary Service Award. Receiving the award was funeral director
Christian Timothy, his wife Ellen, and son Chad. In part the award was
based on the following comments: “Mr. Timothy was truly compassionate
to what we were going through… it was not an act but a refl ection of who
he is as a person of good character. Mr. Timothy and his staff did for us was
what he does for every funeral. It may not be ordinary for them… but it
was out of the ordinary for me, and above every expectation I had.”
Askew-Houser Funeral Home, Inc., with facilities in Ebensburg and
Nanty-Glo, Pennsylvania, won the Silver Award for Exemplary Service.
Timothy Houser, owner and president, and Mark Letzo, funeral director,
received the award.
Qualities shown by Askew-Houser included …”being very
knowledgeable, kind, courteous, sympathetic, and professional towards
my family and me. Behind the scene, Mr. Letzo attended to all the
necessary paperwork, freeing my family to grieve for our family member
who had departed … Thank you for the attention to detail that you gave to
my deceased mother and our family.”
The Bronze Award went to Kyger Funeral Home & Crematory, with
facilities in Elkton and Harrisonburg, Virginia, where Kenneth D. Kyger is
funeral director. Comments which drew the attention of judges included:
“…Travis Kyger was on top of everything. He orchestrated details perfectly.
His sensitivity, patience, and skills were exceptional. We cannot thank
Kyger’s enough. They are superior.”
“We are honored to recognize these outstanding fi rms for reaching
the top levels of service they have delivered as measured by the Family
Contact Survey,” said outgoing OGR President Kevin Opsahl.
Askew-Houser Funeral Home, Inc.,
Ebensburg, Pennsylvania, received the
Silver Exemplary Service Award. From
the left, Mark Letzo and Timothy Houser
with Kevin Opsahl.
Falconer Funeral Home, Gilbert, Arizona,
won the Gold Exemplary Service Award.
From the left, Christian, Ellen and Chad
Timothy with Kevin Opsahl.
Tyler Pray, Guy Linnemann and
Jeff Wages crank up the Doo
Wop Express in Tuxedo.
OGR President-Elect Jeff
Wages addresses attendees
just before the opening
Memorial Tribute session.
Robin Robin Williams catches
the musical spirit.
spring 2011 | The Independent 21

scholarship
donations
Ed Pearce, incoming
Board of Directors
member, lights a candle
during the Memorial
Tribute Ceremony.
Gene H. Carl
Gene H. Carl Funeral Chapel
Wenig Funeral Homes
in honor of Janice Stradling
J. Larry and Kayla Carter
Carter-Ricks Funeral Homes
in honor of Janice Stradling
Debra Green
George Irvin Green Funeral Home
in honor of Janice Stradling
International Order of the Golden Rule
in recognition of Kevin Opsahl
as OGR president
special thanks to event sponsors
Gold sponsors
22 The Independent | spring 2011
Adrienne Kalmes from
Meadow Hill explains details
of a key product during the
Supplier Showcase.
Thomas Lynch, author
and funeral director,
delivered the keynote
address, “Getting
Cremation Right.”
Conference auction
donors
Brent Behrens
Behrens Design & Development
Jamie Meredith
C&J Financial, LLC
Jason Whisnant | SpartaCraft, Inc.
Dan Isard | The Foresight Companies
Chris Chigas | Access Financial
Cathie Tattrie
Smith Funeral & Memorial Services
Jon Thomas | Thomas Pierce
Robert Hunsaker | Sinosource
Jay & Mary Mary Steele | Arnett & Steele
Tyler Tyler Pray Pray | Pray Pray Funeral Funeral Home
Charles Rader | | Rader Funeral Funeral Home
Mike Lewis Lewis | | Lewis Lewis Funeral Funeral Home Home
Chip Chip Ray | Aurora Casket Co. Co.
Chris Miller Miller | Thomas Miller Miller Mortuary
Jeffrey Wages Wages | Wages Wages & Sons
Tyler Pray Pray | Pray Pray Funeral Funeral Home
Dan Isard | The The Foresight Companies
Chris Chigas | Access Access Financial
Kevin Opsahl | | Opsahl-Kostel Funeral
Home & Crematory, Inc
Gordon Matthews
Matthews Funeral Home
silver sponsors Copper sponsor

spring 2011 | The Independent 23

In Memoriam
Janice e. stradling
Janice E. Stradling, 6

Exemplary Service
oGr’s Family Contact
Program is thriving
More than half of OGR members
with volumes both large and
small, use the Family Contact
Program, a FREE OGR benefi t, in
a variety of ways. The program
continues to be a proven and
effective gauge of family-client
satisfaction. OGR is processing
more than 1,000 survey responses
per month from families served
by OGR funeral homes
m. a. Connell Funeral Home, Inc.
Huntington station, n.y.
Chiles & sons-laman-shawnee
Chapel | lima, ohio
shinn Funeral service
russellville, ark.
morgan’s Funeral Home
Princeton, Ky.
Faulmann & Walsh Golden rule
Funeral Home | Fraser, mich.
loyless Funeral Home, llC
land o’ lakes, Fla.
mayes Ward-dobbins Funeral
Home | marietta, Ga.
miles-odum Funeral Home &
Crematory | Waycross, Ga.
If you are not using Family Contact, oGr invites
you to try it out. using the Program is fast and easy.
1
2
3
4
5
To begin, OGR will send you a Family Contact starter Kit — welcome letter,
guidelines, all necessary supplies. Call 800-637-8030 to order.
You give a Family Contact Packet with letter of explanation, survey form
and return envelope to the family.
Client families return completed survey , usually anonymous, directly to
OGR where responses are compiled.
Each month, OGR provides you a monthly report of your activity, plus
surveys received on your behalf during that month. Each January, you
receive an annual summary with ratings of all participating fi rms to
benchmark your fi rm.
OGR OGR uses uses selected selected client-family client-family comments each quarter quarter in in its magazine, The
Independent, Independent which then become eligible for the annual exemplary service
awards presented at OGR’s Annual Conference & Supplier Showcase.
The funeral director gave us such personal service. We had over 1,6

The Independent recently spoke
with Jamie Meredith, executive vice
president of C&J Financial, one of the
largest funeral funding and insurance
factoring companies in the U.S. C&J
strengthened its leadership position
recently by becoming a member of
OGR’s GSG Endorsed Supplier Program.
Jamie joined C&J from Security
National Life Ins., Co., a subsidiary of
Security National Financial Corporation,
headquartered in Salt Lake City. At
Security National Life Jamie served
as director for Security National Fast
Funding, the insurance assignment
funding division for SNL. Then in
2007 SNL purchased C&J and he was
appointed to oversee the merger and
management of the two companies.
The new company is marketed as
C&J Financial, an affiliate of Security
National Life.
C&J Financial, llC
497-A Sutton Bridge Rd
Rainbow City, AL 35906

new oGr Business members
american Crematory equipment Co.
www.americancrematory.com/ | Glenn Lyle | 800-
396

oGr: How would you describe
C&J’s advantage in the
marketplace?
C&J: We have a distinct advantage
over our competition. The main reason
is our people. C&J’s staff consists of
some of the most knowledgeable,
experienced and hardest working
professionals in the industry today. For
instance, Kevin Smith, vice president,
has been in the insurance assignment
funding business for nearly a dozen
years. Kathryn Kilgore, C&J office
administrator for 10 years, is an
experienced claims manager with a
major life insurance company. Jennifer
Hill, director of customer service is a
licensed life insurance agent.
Another C&J advantage is that
we are part of the Security National
family. Security National has been
serving funeral homes and families
28 The Independent | spring 2011
across the nation for nearly half a
century. Our deep heritage is woven
throughout the funeral and insurance
industries. Our unique insight
into both industries gives us a
clear advantage.
Furthermore, OGR members
can feel confident that C&J has the
experience and the capacity to handle
any volume of business. C&J’s clientele
runs from small rural firms to some
of the largest independent funeral
homes in America.
oGr: How will C&J
benefit oGr and, in turn,
its members?
C&J: C&J’s FAST FUNDING program is
part of OGR’s GSG Endorsed Supplier
Program. Our main focus is getting
the word out to the 700 OGR member
firms about C&J and the OGR FAST
FUNDING program. We are excited
about deepening our affiliation with
OGR and furthering our service to
its members.
oGr: as you look ahead, what
are the company’s plans?
C&J: Our goals are fairly simple. C&J
has one purpose and that is to relieve
the independent funeral home of the
hassle, headache and cash-flow delay
in processing insurance death claims
by providing the fastest funding
possible while offering the friendliest,
most knowledgeable and professional
customer service available. If we can
continue to do that, then our future
remains bright.
oGr: thanks for taking the
time to speak with us. ◊

industry news
Supreme Court rules
funeral protests protected
the First amendment protects hurtful protests at military
funerals, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled in an 8-to-1 decision
March 2.
The case arose from a protest at the funeral of a Marine
who had died in Iraq, Lance Cpl. Matthew A. Snyder. As they
had at hundreds of other funerals, members of the Westboro
Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan., appeared with signs bearing
messages like “America is Doomed.”
The father of the fallen Marine, Albert Snyder, sued the
protesters for, among other things, the intentional infliction of
emotional distress, and won a substantial jury award that was
later overturned by an appeals court.
The Supreme Court’s majority opinion, written by Chief
Justice John Roberts, defended the rights of Westboro Baptist
Church members to protest at the Snyder funeral. “This nation
has chosen to protect even hurtful speech on public issues to
ensure that public debate is not stifled,” Roberts wrote.
spring 2011 | The Independent 29

30 The Independent | spring 2011

Colorado funeral pyre
services beget ritual
Cremation lacks ritual, argues Thomas
Lynch in this issue of the magazine. In
his article, “Cremation: A Practice in
Need of Ritual,” the writer and funeral
director explores this ritual emptiness
and suggests that it ought to be
reversed.
Turn now to the San Luis Valley
in south central Colorado just a
little west of the Sangre de Cristo
mountains that soar to 14,000 feet. It
is here you’ll find an outdoor funeral
pyre built of block, concrete, steel
and stucco. Surrounding the pyre is a
permanent fencing structure, bamboo
screening, and a portico/arch at the
northern end of the site. It is most
likely the only such pyre in the U.S.
On a particular cold morning last
March, some 15 people gathered in a
small circle around the pyre which
had been laid out with firewood,
ready for the body. It was three days
after the death.
As if on cue, a family of coyotes a
few hundred meters south of the circle
sang a refrain familiar in the valley,
according to eyewitness accounts.
On that plaintive note, the body
– clothed and covered with a simple
white shroud – was lifted from the car
on a plain pine stretcher. Led by a man
playing a Native American flute that
was the only sound that cut through
the remarkable silence of this remote
place, the stretcher bearers walked
a sandy trail to the circle and placed
both body and stretcher on the steel
frame in the center of the pyre.
Family members first, then
everyone present came forward to
place juniper and pinon boughs on top
of the body. Fire keepers placed more
wood on top of the boughs.
Once complete, a fire keeper, who
had fashioned a torch from cotton
cloth soaked in kerosene and tied
with string to a stick, invited a family
member to light the bottom of the
woodpile. A small amount of kerosene
had been poured onto the wood below
the body to accelerate the fire.
Dense white smoke fragrant with
juniper and pinon billowed upward.
The fire gained strength, the smoke
then disappeared, giving way to
intense heat and hot flame.
Few words were spoken. Families
choose their own way, their own ritual,
to express love, honor, respect and
farewells. The ring of experienced
volunteers who have facilitated
this process stand in mute support,
present to help the family in this most
ancient of ceremonies.
Having said what needs to be said,
the family departed. The fire keepers
tended the fire until its work was
done, carefully and respectfully they
removed bits of bone as that appeared
among cooling embers. The hot ashes
were mounded. A volunteer returned
the following day to recover the
remaining ashes in a 10- gallon bucket,
made available to the family to do
with as it wished.
afterword
“There always needs to be a
ceremony to honor the sanctity of
life and the sanctity of the body,“
commented OGR President Jeff Wages
when asked about the need for ritual.
“Long-standing funeral practices
demonstrate the need for a complete
ceremony to help the bereaved heal
from loss.
“Wages and Sons has cremation
facilities to encourage families to
openly participate in cremation to
final disposition.”
Bob Biggins, Rockland,
Massachusetts, past NFDA president,
applauded the practice. He told the
Independent, “As a culture, we need
to say goodbye. And I think watching
some of the things that the Crestone
End of Life Project is doing for its
community, the word that comes
to my mind is, `Hooray!’ They’re
encouraging people to participate in
the service and bear witness.”
“What was a physical body will
become one with the sky,” said William
Howell, a CELP volunteer.
CELP conducted its first openair
cremation in January 2008 and
has performed 18 since. State and
local agencies have given permits to
conduct the cremations.
CEOLP’s vision is to awaken others
to the alternatives and the rights–and
responsibilities–they have to choose
their own path, including conventional
approaches. CELP has a collaborative
arrangement with the local mortuary
in the spirit of its central value of
supporting community efforts that
serve the broad range of services
and choices. –OGR
Sources: Ivan Moreno, “Funeral pyres an option in Colorado mountain town,” 2011. Associated Press, Descriptions used used with permission.
John Davidson “Open air cremation: Extraordinary passing, new beginning,” 2010. www.davidson-heartworks.com/davidson-articles.html
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