School Souviner Final Draft

BHPV SCHOOL
MEGA REUNION
1978-1993 Batches
children are the 'Generation of entitlement'.
Most of us are doing everything for them that
they need and giving them everything that they
need, they want, and then some. As a
professional in the Behavioral Sciences, here's
one most common concern I hear from parents
is that their child is so rude and disrespectful to
them. 'Nothing I do makes my child happy'. But
here's the kicker. 'The whole world says my child
is such a wonderful kid. They are always bringing
a smile to people around them. We don't
understand it. We love our child/ren so much
and are trying our best to give them everything
that we never even had a chance at. They are so
loving to everyone. But so angry at us. It almost
feels like our child hates us. So parents either
giveup and let the children have their way and
suffer in silence or become extremely strict and
everyone ends up angry and unpleasant home
atmosphere, and wrecking the marriage too.
The one thing that would help is for us as
parents to understand that our children's idea of
fun is way different than what we considered
fun. And the challenges our children face now
are way different from the challenges we faced
at that same age. They are living in a world where
anything you say to point a difference of opinion
is offensive. Being correct is not important, but
being politically correct is extremely vital. When
at home, we are teaching them and expecting
them to be respectful, obey elders (just about
any one that's adult), do what your parents ask
you to etc. And then they step out to get to
school and colleges, and the media and the
world is telling them different.
It's an age of 'Do what makes you happy'.
Whatever happened to 'Do what is right'? We
lived in a community where every child was
watched over by someone. If a girl and a boy
were found talking in a corner near the
vegetable market, some uncle would ask who
your parent was and what their badge number
was? (Now, how do I know this? Make a guess).
There were many eyes to watch us, and hence it
made us watch what we did or said. The
community was involved in raising children. The
family was a community in itself where children
were answerable to every and any adult, all over
the township and town. Now when we have our
own families, the family structure has changed
to a single-family unit where we rarely see
extended family. And so our children don't see
the uncles, aunts etc as having any right to
question them or correct them. The key is to
understand this shift in the family unit and the
shift in the ethics of conduct. It's all about 'you'
says the world.
Most of these changes have been very
productive but have destroyed a few of the good
characteristics too. Yes, we have to go along with
the flow and catch up with it. But we don't have
to compromise on the ethics that we want to
teach our children. If giving my tantrum
throwing toddler a cartoon is making my life
easier, I'd search for that remote control like a
maniac. Nothing wrong with that. But may we
not think, my toddler can have what he wants,
when he wants. We can definitely teach them to
wait, teach them taking turns, picking up their
stuff, putting others ahead. Yeah? Like I
mentioned earlier, children today are so
intelligent and they understand and appreciate
an honest dialogue. Set boundaries. Don't let
them pull you into an argument. You do not have
to argue with them. Proving yourself right to
your child is not important, at all. Do you ever
remember a teacher arguing with you to teach
you that 2+2 is indeed 4? Well, yeah! Nothing
ever gets taught through arguments. Not if you
are trying to teach, for sure. Keep it short, simple
and as an instruction. Keep your emotions in
control. Imagine you are teaching a neighbor's
child. What would your words and tone be?
December 2019
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